by Cindy Gerard
JEFF COULDN’T BELIEVE he had Rabia in his arms again. The waiting had been hell. The worry that they wouldn’t get to her in time was crippling. Then Mike had called with the news.
“They’ve got her, Jeff. She’s on her way to the States now.”
“Thank God, thank God.” Jess had teared up with joy beside him. And for the first time in a very long time, he thanked God, too. “Where will they take her?” he finally had the presence of mind to ask.
“That’s up in the air for now.”
Jess had gotten on the phone then and told Mike the way things were. “Now, you figure out how he’s going to get to see her,” she’d ordered like a drill sergeant.
So now here they were. In some top-secret military facility, one of several in the U.S. that only the top brass and immediate personnel knew about. Sharing a bed in an apartment that was generally reserved for the men with stars on their uniforms.
Jeff didn’t even know where the post was. Mike had sent a plane to International Falls. Between Brad and Jess, they’d managed to run interference with the press that had been camped out at the store since about two hours after the story broke. Using a couple of Brad’s buddies as decoys, Brad had driven him to the airport and put him on the plane—but not before he’d said his good-byes to Jess.
“You’re an amazing woman.”
“I know,” she’d said with a grin. “And you, my dear friend, are going to be just fine.”
He’d hugged her hard.
“You haven’t seen the last of me,” she’d promised, as more tears threatened. “No matter what, we’re family. Now… go to her. She must be scared half to death.”
Yes, she’d been scared and confused, he realized, as he watched Rabia sleep beside him in the bed that, in her eyes, was larger than any man and woman would ever need.
She wasn’t afraid anymore. She was thoroughly loved and blissfully sated. And now she slept in his arms, and all the missing her was behind him. She was here now. She was his now, and he was never letting her go.
He’d told her about Jess. There would be paperwork, but since he’d been declared legally dead, they weren’t even certain if they were considered married at this point. They would work it out.
Then he would be free, with Jess’s blessings, to marry her.
“Marry me?” Her onyx eyes had glittered with happy, bewildered tears as he’d brushed the hair away from her face.
“In America, we marry for love. I love you, Rabia.”
“Yes, I will marry you, Jeffery.”
Then, to his amazement, she’d fallen asleep. Just like that. Because she felt safe and because she could finally give in to the exhaustion and let him share in the sorrow over her father’s death that she’d carried by herself for too long.
With her sleeping peacefully beside him, he, too, finally gave in to the pull of exhaustion.
WHEN JEFF WOKE up several hours later, Rabia was lying on her side, watching him.
“Hello.” He smiled into her eyes.
She found his hand, brought it to her lips, and kissed it. Then she lowered it to her abdomen, pressed it against her. “Someone else would like to say hello.”
Her expressive eyes relayed both excitement and uncertainty. And as she held his hand there, spreading her fingers wide over his, her meaning finally dawned.
“A baby?”
She nodded, still uncertain.
He felt a smile spread from his heart to his eyes. “We made a baby?”
Seeing his happiness, she smiled, too. “On the roof. Under the stars.”
It humiliated him that he cried so easily these days. He’d done enough of it in the past month to last a lifetime. But these tears didn’t bother him. These tears were born in wonder and steeped in joy.
These tears celebrated the hopeless improbability that in the midst of such suffering and terror and ugliness, something as beautiful and miraculous as life had been created.
Chapter 33
Key West, Florida, December 20th
“YOU KNOW,” TY SAID, SURPRISED when his brother, who he hadn’t seen in several weeks, walked into his office as if he did it on a daily basis, “last time you showed up, you brought bad news.”
“Hey, little bro. Nice to see you, too. How’ve I been, you ask? Why, I’m just dandy. Eva? Yep. She’s fit and fine.”
“Sorry,” Ty said, feeling like an ass. “Been a long day.” It had been a long freaking month. He missed Jess. He missed the life they had planned to have. He felt sorry for himself. But that wasn’t anything his brother was going to find out.
He rocked back in his desk chair as outside his office window, a small cargo plane taxied down the apron toward the runway, heat shimmering off the concrete under the hot Florida sun. “Folks OK?”
“Talked to ’em last night. They’re doing great. Worried about you, though. What’s this about not coming home for Christmas?”
He regarded Mike thoughtfully. “Until the past two years, you hadn’t been home for Christmas or birthdays or—wait—you hadn’t been home at all. For eight long years. I’m not allowed to miss one Christmas?”
“I’m the black sheep. I’m supposed to be a jerk. You’re the good son.”
Ty knew perfectly well why Mike had disappeared for eight years, and it wasn’t because he was a jerk. His brother was the best man he knew. But Mike had been in a bad place back then—which, most likely, was the reason he recognized exactly where Ty was right now.
“So how’s business?” Mike sprawled in a chair across from Ty’s desk and made a big show of checking out the whiteboards and the full schedule inked in with erasable marker.
“Banner year.” Ty still wondered why his brother had shown up but figured it had little to do with Christmas, which was less than a week away. “What do you want, Mike?”
Mike propped a boot heel on the corner of Ty’s desk, linked his hands over his belt, and regarded him with a wise-ass smile. “I think I might let you worm it out of me.”
For the first time, Ty laughed. “Sorry. Not playing.”
“Oh, you’re going to want to play this game.”
The Cheshire Cat smile was getting irritating. “I’m not coming to work for you, if that’s what this is about.”
“Nah. I knew that was a pipe dream.”
More of that ridiculous toothpaste-ad smile.
“You look really stupid, you know that?”
This time, Mike laughed. “And you’re going to feel really stupid if you don’t get your head out of your ass and ask me why I’m smiling.”
“OK, fine. Why are you smiling?”
“The reason rhymes with guess—which is kind of ironic, since you’re going to have to guess to find out.”
Ty tilted his head and glared at his brother through narrowed eyes. “You are so close to getting punched.”
“OK. So you need another clue. It also rhymes with mess—which is the condition of your head since you left Minnesota.”
Ty clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
Mike dropped his foot and leaned forward. “OK, fine. Then I’ll talk. You listen until I’m your favorite brother again.”
DECEMBER 21, THE first day of winter, had blown in with a vengeance in Minnesota. Dressed in old jeans, a turtleneck, and a heavy flannel shirt, Jess hugged her arms around herself and looked out the apartment window as snow drifted down in huge, heavy flakes. The wind was supposed to come up later tonight, and the storm threatened to dump eight to twelve inches across the borderland by morning to add to the five or six already on the ground.
Even though it was barely five P.M., in less than fifteen minutes, dusk would give way to dark. This storm was on track to match another winter storm almost two years ago, when Ty had blown in with his friends, saved two lives, and changed her life forever.
“What do you think, Bear? Should we go out for a quick walk before it gets any deeper?”
On cue, the dog started dancing in excitement at the wor
d walk. She laughed and headed for the closet to get her coat and boots. Her phone rang, stopping her and, quite honestly, saving her from thinking morosely about how different this Christmas season would have been if she and Ty had gotten married at Thanksgiving as they’d planned.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Jess.”
“J.R. Hey.” Warmth flooded her chest, banishing her melancholy mood. “How are you?”
“I’m well.”
She and J.R. had talked often since he’d reunited with Rabia last week. Jess couldn’t be happier for them, although she couldn’t help but worry about his health. He still had some healing to do, both physically and emotionally. But she had to believe he was in a good place now. A place where he would continue to seek the help he needed.
“And Rabia?” She was so excited about the baby.
“She’s fine, too.”
While she would love to meet Rabia, she understood that now wasn’t the time. She didn’t want to make Rabia uncomfortable.
“So what’s happening?” she asked cheerfully, as Bear bounced by the door like a puppy—all eighty pounds of him.
“A lot. Too much to talk about. So I’m taking a breather. And I started thinking about you. About how lucky I am to have you in my life. I wanted to call and let you know that.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I feel the same way. And I’m so glad you’re happy.”
“Have you called Ty yet?”
He asked each time they talked. “No,” she confessed.
“Ah, Jess.”
“I’m not ready.”
“You’re scared.”
“That, too,” she admitted. “I need to get myself together a little better before I call him.”
“Because you think he’s going to reject you.”
“I would, if I were him. He’s suffered losses, too, J.R. He lost his Navy career. He’s lost people he loved. What if I was the last straw? What if he’s reached a point where he’s afraid to risk losing again?”
“The man loves you so much that he risked his life to save mine, because he needed to be sure you were happy. I don’t think a man like that is afraid of much of anything.”
She stared at the Christmas tree and hoped J.R. was right. The part of her that doubted, however, had a stronger hold on her than the part that believed.
“Nothing to say to that?”
“I’ll call him. I will,” she promised. “I just need a little more time.”
“The man is suffering, Jess. Like I suffered without Rabia. Put him out of his misery.”
“I’ll work on it, OK?”
“You do that. Look, I’ve gotta go. I just wanted to check in. Take care of yourself. And give Bear a hug for me.”
“He misses you.”
“I miss him, too.”
“You’re going to have to come back and visit us when you’re both up to it. Thanks for keeping in touch with Brad, by the way. It means so much to him.”
“He’s my brother. I may not remember him yet, but it didn’t take long to figure out that he’s a good man. Don’t worry. We aren’t going to lose touch. None of us. I’ll call again before Christmas.”
“Take care.”
She disconnected, then stared at the phone for a moment, the melancholy creeping in again as she thought about Ty being as miserable and alone for Christmas as she was.
But then Bear whined pitifully and snapped her out of it. She bundled up in her boots, down coat, a stocking cap, and gloves and took him outside into the snow.
JESS TOOK BEAR on their usual route down the blacktop toward the lake and into the woods, but she cut the walk short at the halfway point. She’d barely made it out the door when the promised wind had picked up and the temp had dropped. The snow drove against her with such force it peppered her bare cheeks, and walking against it, she had to keep her head down to keep it from stinging her eyes.
“Sorry, buddy, we’re heading back.”
The blowing snow and deep drifts didn’t faze the Lab, but he changed course when she did and, energized by his romp in the woods, loped ahead of her down the road.
Normally, she would have kept him closer, but there was no traffic tonight on either the blacktop or the highway where the two roads intersected in a T. Anyone with half a brain would be tucked up tight at home, warm by the fire, waiting for morning, when they’d start the task of digging out.
In fact, the last time she’d seen the snow plow go by had been around four, and the local news reported that road crews would be called in early because of the severe weather conditions.
So when she saw headlights cutting through the snow and bearing east on the highway, heading toward the store, she not only marveled at the stupidity of the driver but also figured she’d soon be dealing with a stranded motorist. It wouldn’t be the first time. Some people had more balls than brains, her dad used to say.
Oh, well, she’d take them into the store and call Shelley, and then Darrin would come after them on a snowmobile and put them up for the night at the lodge.
She was still half a block away from the store when, sure enough, the headlights veered off the road, and the vehicle pulled into the parking lot and stopped under the light of the fuel pumps.
Bear, who never knew a stranger, trotted right up to what Jess could see now was an SUV.
“You’re a heck of a watchdog,” she grumbled, and tucked her chin deeper into her scarf to ward off the icy cold.
The driver’s-side door opened, and a man stepped out. She wasn’t close enough to make out his features, even under the security light, but something about him seemed familiar. Apparently, Bear thought so, too. The dog started jumping in happy circles and crying as if he’d found a long-lost friend.
The man went down on one knee to ruffle the dog’s coat and give him a hug. Bear jumped on him as if he was fresh meat, licking his face, nudging his hands, practically tackling him.
The man laughed then… and she stopped mid-stride, twenty yards away.
She knew that laugh.
She loved that laugh.
This was no stranger. Ty knelt in the snow, watching her, snowflakes dusting his hair, his cheeks fiery red from the cold.
She started running.
She didn’t care that snow stung her face, or that the happy tears running down her frozen cheeks blurred her vision, or that her lungs burned like fire. She needed to be in his arms, kissing him.
He was still on his knees when she reached him, and she didn’t stop. She flew at him and tumbled them sideways into six inches of snow.
His arms wrapped tightly around her, and they rolled until she ended up on top of him, smiling down as snow fell around them and crept inside her coat collar.
“You’re here,” she whispered, breathless and deliriously hopeful and happy. Still disbelieving, she framed his cheeks in her gloved palms.
“I’m here,” he said softly, searching her face, making it infinitely clear that he’d missed her as much as she’d missed him.
“You know? About J.R.?”
“And Rabia? Yes. Mike told me.”
Damn, she was going to cry. “You don’t hate me?”
His eyes softened. “I could never hate you.”
She did cry, then. “But can you still love me?”
He pulled her head down to his and kissed her. “If you’d be kind enough to get me inside, out of the frozen tundra, I’ll show you how much.”
TY GRABBED HER hand, and they scrambled to their feet. The bell he’d missed so much dinged wildly as he jerked open the door, made sure Bear managed to squeeze inside, then shoved it closed behind them.
“I need your mouth.” He pushed her up against the door and slammed his mouth over hers. “I need to be inside you.”
He felt primitive, feral, as, with a low groan, he broke the kiss and led her up the stairs. They frantically stripped off their clothes, leaving a trail from the doorway to the bedroom. He was hopping on one foot, cursing, and trying to get his boot
off, when he looked up and saw her. On her knees. In the middle of the bed. Naked. Arms outstretched.
Screw the boot. He flew to the bed, dragged her against him, and tossed her onto her back.
Then he found the heart of her, the heat of her, and buried himself deep inside.
He’d missed her for too long. Had been certain he would live his life without her… for too long.
No more. He was here now. She was his now. Her sweet, responsive breasts. Her soft, giving body. Her wild, hungry mouth.
Her pure, giving heart.
Finesse could come later. The way she moved against him told him she didn’t want finesse right now. Told him it was the same for her as it was for him.
This union was about lonely nights and hopeless longing and a crippling fear that they’d never be together this way again. This was about desperation and regret, about promises that would never again be broken.
This was about staking claims and coming home to a woman he was never going to leave again.
Epilogue
Minnesota, December, the following year
KABETOGAMA IS ONE OF THE memories that came back first.” J.R. stood in front of the log cabin’s massive picture window, Bear sitting beside him. The Lab had divided his lavish attention between Ty and J.R. since he and Rabia and the baby had arrived two days ago. “Yet every time I see it, it’s like I’ve forgotten how beautiful it is up here.”
A fire crackled softly in the stone fireplace as Jess walked up beside him, sharing the view outside the dream home Ty had bought for her.
“Like a postcard,” she agreed.
The frozen lake spread out like a moonscape to the north, while the snow-heavy forest nestled around them.
Since she and J.R. were sharing a rare moment alone, she took advantage of it to make sure all was well.
“Ty’s not pushing you too hard, is he?” Yesterday, Ty and Brad had insisted that J.R. go snowmobiling with them. This morning, they’d gone ice fishing.
“No. I’m good. Those guys are crazy wild on those machines, though,” he added with a laugh.