by K. M. Scott
I lay there on the floor with him in that surreal situation that strangely felt so right, unable to sleep as everything I’d learned about Kane danced in my mind. The man who’d frowned from the moment I’d met him held me in his arms, protecting me even though he barely knew me. I didn’t know what would happen when we woke up, but for the first time in my life, I was in the arms of a man who made me feel safe and beautiful.
A twinge of sadness settled into my heart at the thought of all this going away once the sun came up. I’d never believed anything could be worse than a man’s fists hitting me, but as I listened to Kane’s breathing above me, I was sure him being that silent man he’d usually been with me would be more devastating.
To know that here, in these tiny rooms he called home, he cared for me yet in front of others I’d be just another Club X employee made me sadder than any beating I’d ever gotten.
* * *
I LAY with Abbi in my arms as she drifted off to sleep, my body yearning for more than just cuddling on the floor of my crappy apartment. Every fiber of my being wanted to make love to her, but that was a mistake neither one of us could afford. I should have never gone to The Carousel Club.
Fuck, I should have never let myself want her after that first time we met.
Two fucked up people didn’t make a good couple. All we’d make was a mess of each other, something neither one of us needed.
But now, as I played with the ends of her soft hair and enjoyed the feel of her warm breath gently drifting across my chest as she slept next to me, I wished more than anything in this world that I could be the kind of man she needed.
Then in a split second, my mind switched gears from wanting to make her mine to wanting to kill every single man who’d ever hurt her. The idea of someone holding her down as he hacked away at her hair made my fists close into angry balls until my fingernails dug into my palms. I imagined her crying, helpless as he punished her and she feared for her very life. I wanted to find him and make him suffer like he’d made Abbi suffer.
This couldn’t happen. I knew this, and still there I was with her in my arms as my brain wrestled with the need to beat the fuck out of the guy who hurt her. She didn’t need someone like me in her life. It was already fucked up enough for two lifetimes.
Yet with every moment that passed, she felt more right in my arms than anyone ever had. I closed my eyes and tried to push away the truth that never went away.
I’d only end up hurting her.
“Kane, you up?”
I opened my eyes to Abbi sitting up next to me and smiling. “Yeah. What time is it?”
Shaking her head, she lifted my arm to look at my watch. “A little after ten.”
“Okay. Guess it’s time to get up,” I said as I stretched the sleep from my limbs.
Abbi’s eyes opened wide and I followed her gaze to where my morning hard-on had poked out from under the sheet. A blush covered her cheeks and she stammered, “Where…um…can I take a shower?”
Scrubbing the night from my face, I struggled to think of anything but rolling her on her back and taking her right there. Looking away toward the bathroom, I said, “Uh, in through there. Feel free.”
Nearly jumping up from her place next to me, she trotted off toward the shower as I watched her gorgeous ass as she walked away. I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself fucking Abbi was the worst idea I’d had in a long time. Unfortunately, my cock didn’t agree with me, growing harder than it usually did most mornings. Even as I ran through every reason why I shouldn’t even think about wanting her, somewhere in my mind a little voice murmured that she was right there in the next room, naked and wet and…
Fuck! What was wrong with me?
I lay back down and covered my eyes with my forearm, needing to get my head back to where it should have been. Abbi would only get hurt if I acted on the ideas marching through my mind. I knew this. Now I just had to tell myself that over and over again until every cell in my body didn’t want her more than anything else in the world.
Ten minutes later, Abbi stood over me pushing my arm with her toes. I looked up at her standing there in just a towel looking fresh and clean and entirely too sexy.
“What’s up?”
“I don’t have any clothes. Remember? All I was wearing when you threw me over your shoulder at The Carousel Club was a G-string, pasties, and my shoes. I can’t go around wearing your shirt, and the t-shirt and shorts I wore there aren’t exactly good for daytime,” she said with a chuckle.
“Hmmm…”
I had no clothes a woman could wear, but I had an idea. Rolling over to hide my still raging hard on, I stood and walked over to the kitchen table to grab my phone. After a few rings, Cash picked up.
“Hey, Kane. What’s up?”
“I need to speak to Olivia, Cash. Is she there?”
My half-brother remained silent for a moment and then quietly in a skeptical voice said, “Yeah. Here she is.”
Thankfully, he didn’t ask why I’d need to speak to his fiancée before work started. Olivia and I had become closer after that Ciara Danson business, but no guy wanted men calling their girlfriends about borrowing some of her clothes.
“Kane? What’s up?” she asked with more than a little curiosity in her voice.
“I need you to let me have some of your clothes.”
“What?”
“I have a friend here who needs clothes and I don’t have any for her. You’re the only female I know well enough to ask.”
“Oh, okay,” she said sweetly. “What do you need?”
I looked over at Abbi standing across the room from me in my towel and tried to imagine her in anything Olivia wore to the club. “How about something casual that you wouldn’t wear to work?”
“How about one of my sundresses? Would that be okay?”
“Great. Thanks, Olivia. Can you bring it with you this morning?”
“Sure. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Do you want me to bring it up to your office?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll come down for it. Thanks again.”
I took the phone from my ear, but I heard Olivia say, “Kane, wait!”
Pressing it next to my head, I asked, “What?”
“Is everything okay? Does your friend need anything else?”
“No, everything’s fine. Just the dress. Thanks.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in a little while. Just tell her to hang on for a few more minutes.”
I placed the phone back on the table and looked over at Abbi. “Olivia’s bringing you something to wear. She usually gets to work by eleven, so it’ll just be a few minutes.”
“Olivia, Cash’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s nice of her. Why is she doing that?”
I’d forgotten how little Abbi knew of kindness other than Gemma. “Because I asked her. Olivia’s nice like that.”
A strange silence settled in between us, but I didn’t know what to say, so I escaped into the bathroom, leaving Abbi there. I didn’t need to be around her when she was only wearing a towel.
And then halfway through my shower, she poked her head into the bathroom. “Kane, can I eat that cake in the fridge?”
I looked out through the clear glass shower door and saw her standing there staring at me as she waited for my answer. There was no way she couldn’t see every inch of me. Christ, she was making it next to impossible not to want her.
“Yeah. No. Wait for me and I’ll make you breakfast. I have some eggs, I think.”
“Okay.” She didn’t say anything else but stood there staring at me for a few moments more before she left.
Damnit, she wasn’t going to make this easy. She had no idea how much she shouldn’t want me.
Olivia’s clothes fit Abbi awkwardly, but I couldn’t help but notice how cute she looked in her pink sundress, even though it covered more of her than it should as it hit near her ankles. Abbi fussed with the fabric while I made her breakfast, and even as
she ate her scrambled eggs, she couldn’t stop touching it.
I finished my eggs and asked, “Are all your clothes at Gemma’s?”
She dropped her gaze to her nearly empty plate and shook her head. “I don’t have any clothes.”
“None?” I asked, confused since I’d seen her show up for work behind the bar dressed every night for weeks.
“No. I’ve been wearing Gemma’s until I have enough money to buy some.”
“Haven’t you gotten paid yet?”
She looked up at me and nodded. “I told you. I need money to pay for more important things. I’m trying to save up for an apartment, and I helped my mom a little with the money I’ve made so far.”
I didn’t know why but the idea of her not having clothes bothered me. Taking her plate, I put it in the sink with mine and said, “Then we have somewhere to go this morning. Get ready.”
“For what?”
“Shopping.”
Turning around, I saw the surprised look on her face. Or maybe it was confusion. Whichever it was, it quickly changed as she shook her head.
“No. I don’t want you to buy me anything.”
“Whether you want me to or not, I’m going to, so it would probably be better if you’re there. If not, I might get the wrong sizes.”
My attempt at humor didn’t work, and she frowned. “I don’t want to owe anyone anything. I’ve done that before, and it never got me anywhere good.”
“Then accept whatever I buy as my apology for basically kidnapping you last night. Then neither of us will owe the other person anything.”
Abbi considered my idea for a minute and smiled. “Okay, it’s a deal. I don’t wear anything expensive, so you’re getting off easy for kidnapping and holding me hostage.”
Her comment about being held hostage bothered me. It was stupid, but it did. I forced a smile at her joking and led her to my car for our shopping trip, her comment nagging at my gut.
“Kane, would you be willing to take me to my apartment?”
I turned to see Abbi staring at me with those big blue eyes that made me want to do anything she asked. “Yeah, I guess.”
“It’s just that my boy—I mean, ex-boyfriend might be there and…”
Looking away, I thought about what I wanted to do to this ex-boyfriend of hers who’d done all that shit to her. Beating the fuck out of him would be the first thing. Then I’d figure out what to do from there.
“Sure. You can’t be getting clothes, so why do you need to go there?”
I stopped at a red light and looked over to see Abbi’s head hung and her tugging on the ends of her hair. “My mother gave me a ceramic bell and I want to get it back. I don’t think it was broken when he—” She stopped talking and then quietly said, “I didn’t remember to take it when I left.”
Jesus, I wanted to fucking crush this guy’s skull. Not only had he done everything he could to hurt her physically, but he’d taken everything else from her.
“Just point me in the right direction.”
Abbi told me how to get to her place, and I pulled up in front of an apartment house in the middle of a block filled with rundown houses and empty, torn up lawns. She didn’t seem to want to get out of the car, instead staring down at her hands as they lay in her lap, so I opened my door and walked around to her side to show her she wasn’t alone.
She looked up at me with the purest expression of fear I’d ever seen. What else had this fucker done to her?
“It’s okay. I’m here. I doubt your ex could do anything to me.”
“I guess. I’m just wondering if this was a bad idea.”
I held my hand out to take hers. “C’mon. Show me where you used to live.”
She took my hand and we walked up to the front door. Her hand shook as she put the key in the lock, and as she pushed the door open, I felt her squeeze my fingers tightly. Whoever this guy was, he terrified her.
We entered the apartment and found nothing. The place had been emptied out. She walked into the middle of the room and slowly turned as she looked for that bell, but there was nothing left. He’d made sure to hurt her to the last.
“Oh, my God,” she sobbed as she collapsed to the floor. “It’s gone. He took it. He took everything.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat there so tiny, her body heaving from her crying. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their fist. That feeling I’d had the minute I met her rushed through me again, and I crouched down next to her to put my arms around her shoulders. “Abbi, come with me.”
She looked up at me, so helpless, and dried her eyes. “I have nothing left, Kane. All I have are the clothes you bought me today. Everything I had all those months I lived here is gone.”
“Come with me. We can go back to the club and get you set up with the costume designer. You’re going to need something to dance in.”
“Really? You’re going to let me dance for you?”
I nodded and forced a smile, even though the idea of Abbi dancing made my chest tighten. “Yeah, so let’s go.”
She stood and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Oh, Kane, thank you! I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’ll be the best dancer you have.”
All Abbi could talk about on the way back to the club was how much she looked forward to showing how she could dance, but with every minute that passed I regretted my offer. Club X may have been a hundred times better than that shithole I found her dancing in, but I still didn’t like the idea of her dancing, even for my club’s members.
I left Abbi with the costume designer for the dancers and headed back to my room to clear my head. Something about this woman made me think things I shouldn’t, and I had to try to push them out of my mind before we went further into something neither of us needed. The sight of my shirt she’d worn last night laid out on my bed made all those ideas about how much I wanted her rush back, but I needed to fight the urge to let myself want what I shouldn’t have.
By five o’clock I’d talked myself into believing I could have her dance for me and not need to be with her. That the idea of other men watching her dance, even fully clothed, wouldn’t drive me out of my mind with jealousy.
Then she walked into my rooms and reality crashed down on me, forcing all those ideas out of my mind. There, right in front of me, she stood in the costume members would see her in. A white dress that accentuated every sensual inch of her body and was meant to make her look sexy and innocent both at the same time. The costume designer Janie knew her stuff, and one look at Abbi made me want to grab my shirt again to cover her. It wasn’t pasties and a G-string this time, but the effect was the same.
“What do you think? Isn’t it gorgeous? Janie said she’d been waiting a long time to make a costume like this. Do you like it?”
Abbi twirled around to show me the back of the dress, and my cock stiffened at the sight of her perfect ass filling out the costume in a way meant to make men go out of their minds with desire.
She spun around again to face me, those blue eyes looking up at me filled with hope. “You don’t like it? She said it would be perfect.”
“It is,” I said quietly. “It looks great.”
“Are you angry at me? You look just like you did the day you interviewed me. You haven’t changed your mind, have you? I really need this job, Kane.”
I shook my head slowly. “No, I haven’t changed my mind. If you want to be a dancer, the job’s yours.”
Abbi smiled, lighting up my dingy rooms with her genuine happiness at my gesture. “I have something to ask you. I hope you say yes to that too.”
“What’s that?”
“Gemma has a new boyfriend, and I don’t want to be in the way at her house. You know how it is at the beginning. Nobody wants a third wheel around. Would you be okay with me staying here until I get the money for my own place? From what Gemma said, I should be able to make enough in a week or so since I’m only looking for a one bedroom or even a studio.”
&nbs
p; She wanted to stay with me there in my tiny rooms I kept to hide away from the world. Unable to say no, I mumbled, “Sure.”
Again, she threw her arms around me and hugged me close. “Thank you! I’ll sleep on the floor so you don’t have to give up your bed anymore. It wasn’t too bad last night, so don’t worry.”
For the first time since we’d gotten up that morning, I held her to me, loving how she felt against my body. When she looked up at me, I loved seeing the happiness in her face. Pressing my lips to her forehead, I kissed her softly, closing my eyes to enjoy the warmth of having her next to me.
As I let myself get lost in the quiet joy she gave me, I felt her lips gently touch mine. Opening my eyes, I looked down to see her mouth open slightly in a kiss. My body came alive, reacting to the softness of her lips as they caressed mine, and my cock grew hard against her. Just a small kiss and everything I feared I’d want raged inside me.
She was so close, so tender, so willing…
And so not someone I should be kissing.
Pulling away, I pressed a smile onto the lips she’d just thrilled with a kiss and tried to calm myself. “I left your clothes on the table there, so feel free to hang them in the closet since you’ll be staying.”
She looked confused by my reaction, but after a moment she nodded and gave me one of her sweet smiles. “Okay. Thank you. I promise it won’t be long. I’ll make sure to work as many shifts as you’ll let me so I won’t be intruding for too many days.”
Abbi moved toward the table to gather her new clothes, leaving me there wanting so much more than just a mere kiss and knowing even desiring her was wrong. As she made herself at home, I wondered how the hell I was going to deny what my body already craved and my mind was quickly becoming obsessed with.
How would I spend night after night with her right there next to me and not give in to what would undoubtedly end up hurting us both?
* * *
I WATCHED as Abbi and the other dancers readied themselves in their dressing area to perform their first dances of the night, most of them calm and almost bored, except for her. She and Gemma stood next to one another laughing and smiling about something, and only Abbi seemed truly eager to enter the hallway to go her first room.