by K. M. Scott
The police stood stone-faced as Kane turned my face back toward him. “Abbi, listen to me. I won’t be gone for long. It will be okay. I promise it will. I love you, angel. Don’t worry. Just promise me you’ll be here when I get back.”
“I’ll be here,” I sobbed. “I love you. I’m sorry.”
He kissed me and whispered against my lips, “Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.”
Then he turned and silently held his hands out in front of him for the policeman to close the handcuffs around his wrists. I listened to one of the men recite those words I’d heard so many times on cop shows, but now each right he mentioned seemed so important. “…You have the right to an attorney. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.”
He hung his head and nodded to Cash as they walked him out, “Take care of her until I get back.”
“I’ll have Jessup on it first thing, Kane,” Cash said just before the screen door slammed closed and Kane was taken away.
My legs buckled underneath me, and I collapsed onto the couch, unable to stand I felt so sick. Closing my eyes, I tried to block out the image of the man I loved being taken away to jail because of me, but it wouldn’t go away no matter how much I tried. Cash sat down next to me and gently put his arm around me, pulling me close as I cried uncontrollably.
“We won’t let him stay away, Abbi. I promise. Stefan and I will make sure he comes home as soon as possible. For now, you can stay with Olivia and me so you aren’t alone in this house.”
I shook my head against his shoulder as I continued to sob. “No. This is the house he gave me. I won’t leave until he comes back. I need to be here when he comes back.”
Cash didn’t argue with me, likely because he knew disagreeing with a hysterical woman was a useless idea. I promised I’d call him day or night if I needed anything, but all I needed was Kane back home with me again.
I took Angel to bed with me and cried myself to sleep thinking of the man I loved spending the night in jail. I couldn’t just sit back and hope Cash could convince the councilman to help Kane. He’d gotten in trouble because of me. I had to do something.
Straightening Olivia’s sundress in the glass window outside Councilman Jennings’ office, I took a deep breath and told myself I could do this. I needed to do whatever it took to help Kane. He’d protected me over and over. The least I could do was try to convince Jethro’s brother to see what Kane had done was all for me and not because he was a bad man.
I knocked on the door and heard him yell for me to come in. Steadying myself, I pushed the door open a crack and stuck my head in. “Mr. Jennings, may I speak to you?”
“Please come in. I’m always available for my constituents.”
I stepped into his office and instantly felt unnerved by the resemblance between Mason Jennings and his brother. The same slicked back hair, the same greasy look that screamed corrupt man.
“I’m not exactly here as a constituent. My name is Abigail Linde. I work at Club X as a dancer. Kane is my boyfriend.”
In a far chillier voice than when he thought I was there as a simple voter, he said, “I see.”
“I only ask for a few minutes of your time. I was the dancer in your brother’s fantasy room last night.”
He scanned my face and body and narrowed his eyes to slits. “You look very different now.”
Tugging on the ends of my hair, I lowered my gaze. “I wear a costume and wig for work.”
“What can I do for you, Abigail?”
He extended his hand for me to sit, and I gave him my nicest smile. “Please call me Abbi. How is Jethro feeling?”
“Better, thank you. I appreciate you asking.”
“I know you probably think that Kane is a bad man for what happened, but he was just protecting me because he thought I was being hurt. He’s a good person. Cash and Stefan are too. I know your brother got hurt, but if there was any way to make up for what happened without Kane having to go to jail, I really hope you’ll consider it.”
“I believe the case has already begun to move through the court system. I’m not sure what I could do, even if I wanted to. Kane’s attack was vicious. I’m not sure anything can make up for that.”
Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I needed to stay strong. “There has to be something I can do. He was just trying to protect me. Kane would never hurt someone without reason. I know your brother probably meant no harm either. It was all a horrible misunderstanding.”
Mason Jennings stared at me with a look that I knew all too well. Like his brother, he wasn’t above treating women like dirt, and I saw in his eyes that he’d already thought of something I’d be able to do for him to make this all go away.
“You seem like a determined young lady, Abbi. Kane is lucky to have such an advocate in his corner. You remind me of someone I once knew, in fact. I’ll tell you what. My brother has a small bar he’d love to have you work at. No dancing. Just bartending, but if he had someone like you behind the bar for his patrons, I’m sure he could forget the unfortunate events of last night.”
Bartend for Jethro, the man who thought grabbing at me had been perfectly fine? The man who had created all this mess? My stomach tightened at the thought of his hands on me every night, but maybe if he thought he’d get beaten again if he misbehaved he might not make the same mistake twice.
It didn’t matter if he did as long as Kane stayed out of jail.
“I’d be happy to work at Jethro’s bar, but I need your word that nothing will happen to Kane.”
“You have my word, Abbi. I’ll see to it. However, I don’t see him agreeing to your working anywhere but Club X.”
I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “Let me handle that. If anyone can convince him, it’s me.”
Mason stood and walked behind me as I made my way to the door, his hand pressed to my lower back and making me cringe. I stopped and smiled, hoping my disgust for him and his plan wasn’t as obvious as it felt.
“You’ve been a pleasant surprise for me today, Abbi. Thank you. Good luck with your task. It’s sure to not be an easy one.”
I left his office to hurry home hoping that the lawyer Cash had mentioned the night before had been successful in getting Kane released. He’d only been away one night and already I felt alone and empty inside. I didn’t want to feel this way ever again. If Cash could get him out of jail, I would do what Mason Jennings wanted to keep him out.
Kane deserved to have someone fight for him, no matter what it took.
* * *
AFTER CASH and Jessup posted my bail, I could think of only one thing—getting back to Abbi. The sad look on her face had been too much for me as they led me out of the house, and I had to look away or I’d have done something stupid and made the situation worse. I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t sorry for what I’d done, but now that I had to pay for my crime, I saw that in my attempt to protect her I’d hurt her. If I had to spend years in jail, I’d continue hurting her. I hadn’t meant that to happen, but now that it had, I needed to do anything I could to make things better.
I’d told Cash whatever it took and however much it cost, I had to stay out for Abbi. I had millions and it could all be Jethro’s if that’s what he wanted. Even if it took every cent I’d ever made at Club X, I didn’t care.
As long as I was free and with her.
I bounded up the front stairs and stopped short as my hand touched the door handle. What if Abbi couldn’t forgive me for what I’d done? She’d spent years with men who hurt her with their hands. How different was I from them? Either way, we’d all hurt her.
Slowly, I opened the door to see her standing in the living room with Angel in her arms, as if both of them had been there all night waiting for me. Her smile beamed her happiness, and she began to softly cry.
“I missed you so much. Cash told me you were out. Are you okay?”
She put the kitten down on the floor and wrapped her arms around me, burying her
face in my chest. The feel of her body next to mine made everything I’d gone through fade away, and now all I knew was the happiness I always felt when she was in my arms.
“I’m fine. I thought about you alone here all night and hated that I’d fucked up so badly. Cash said you wouldn’t go with him last night. Why?”
Abbi squeezed me tightly and shook her head. “This is our home. I couldn’t leave. I belong here with you. I had to make sure I was here when you came back.”
I smoothed my hand over her hair and pressed my cheek to the top of head. “I’m sorry, angel. I fucked everything up and now we have to deal with the consequences. I should have never put you in that room with him. It was stupid.”
“Shhh. I don’t want to think about what we’ll have to do now. I just want to hold you and feel you next to me.”
Tilting her head back, I kissed her lips after missing her like I’d never missed anyone before. “I love you, Abbi. I promise when this is all over I’ll make it up to you, if you’re still with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. There’s no one else in this world who’s shown me love like you have, Kane. You got in trouble because you wanted to protect me. How could I leave you after that?”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I’m not going to lie. I’m probably going to do time, unless we can find another way out of this. I told Cash I’m willing to give Mason and his brother every last dime I have, so hopefully a few million can make this go away.”
“I don’t want you to worry about this, Kane. You were trying to help someone, so I believe it will all work out. Have faith.”
Chuckling, I smiled at her mention of faith. I’d never had much belief in faith in anything—not people, not religion, nothing. But Abbi made me want to believe. Whatever I thought about faith, I believed her. From the moment I first saw her, I wanted to be the kind of man who deserved her. I wanted to protect and care for her and erase all the ugliness she’d seen.
But now with one stupid mistake, any future I hoped to have with her was in danger. If only I hadn’t lost my temper and fallen back into what I’d always been.
A monster.
“I have faith in you, angel. Everything else in this world, no. But you make me believe.”
“Then believe in me because I know we’ll be okay.”
As she pulled me into the kitchen to feed me after my night in jail, I couldn’t help but admire how well she was handling everything that happened. I’d left her crying, and little over half a day later, she seemed able to be strong enough for both of us. She never ceased to surprise me with how tough she actually was. So gentle and kind, Abbi had a survivor streak in her I loved.
She cleared the table of all the dirty dishes and stood at the sink with her back to me. “I would do anything to make sure you’re happy. You know that, Kane, don’t you?”
Her shoulders hunched slightly as she spoke, and a spike of regret ran through me for what I’d done. I stood and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist to pull her to me. “You make me happy just as you are. You don’t have to do anything else.”
Turning in my hold, she looked up at me and I saw something in her eyes. Fear. “I would, though. I would do anything to make sure you were happy.”
I pressed my forehead to hers and confessed what I worried about as I sat in that jail cell all night. “Are you afraid of me now?”
She shook her head, but I knew the look of fear and I saw it in her eyes.
“Angel, I would give my life for yours. Do you know that?”
“I know. And I would give mine for yours, Kane.”
I kissed her, loving the taste of her lips after a night away, and whispered against them, “Don’t say that. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to give up anything for me.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I couldn’t think of anything last night but you stuck in jail because of me. Tell me to go away and I will. Then whatever it is that’s inside me that makes men want to hurt me will be gone from your life.”
Her words made my chest feel like someone was pressing down on it hard. “Don’t say that, angel. You aren’t the reason that fuck did what he did and I reacted the way I did.”
She cradled my face in her hands and frowned. “You aren’t like him, Kane. Don’t mention the two of you in the same way.”
Whether I was as bad as Jethro didn’t matter. I knew what I was and I couldn’t pretend any differently. “I told you the first night we made love you should leave, but now I can’t bear to think of you not in my life. My demons are still inside me, though, Abbi. I can’t change that.”
“I’m not afraid of them. The only thing I’m afraid of is not having you in my life. I can take anything else your demons want to do to me, but not that.”
I took her by the hand and led her upstairs to our bedroom. Abbi sat on the bed quietly watching me undress to shower. I didn’t want her touched by my night in jail any more than she had to be. We said nothing because there was nothing more to say.
I was who I was, and she’d accepted me.
The hot water streamed over me, but it couldn’t take away the truth of what I’d done. I was home for now, but how long that would last I had no idea. Jessup had warned me that some jail time was likely because of my past record. The thought of my rage hurting Abbi for months or years made my heart ache.
Hanging my head, I sighed at the pain of missing her already.
“Kane, are you okay?”
I looked up to see Abbi standing on the other side of the glass shower door just like she had that first morning after I’d taken her back to my apartment. Choking back the mix of regret and sadness I felt just thinking about leaving her, I nodded.
“I’m fine.”
She opened the door and stepped in. “You’re torturing yourself over this, Kane. Don’t.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Only one other person had ever made me regret who I was, and I couldn’t bear thinking of Abbi facing the same fate as her.
Her hands held my face, and she looked up at me with those blue eyes so sweet that she could have asked for anything in the world and I would have done anything to give it to her.
“I love you. I hate seeing you so torn up over this. You don’t believe things are going to work out, but I know they will.”
“I love you, angel. I want to believe. I do. But that’s never been a strong part of my life.”
Abbi stepped under the water and kissed me. “I believe, so I want you to believe too.”
Pushing her hair back, I gazed down into that beautiful face that had enchanted me from the first night I met her and smiled in spite of my fear that someday soon I’d be locked up without her and the sweetness she brought to my life.
I kissed her as I silently begged for forgiveness, hoping whatever she believed in would let me stay with her.
“Do you remember that first night when you brought me back to your apartment at the club? I’ve wondered since then why you have DO NO HARM tattooed there right below your belly button.”
I dried my hair with a towel and cracked my neck. Throwing the towel on top of the hamper, I sat down on the bed next to her and leaned back onto my elbows. She turned to face me and stared down at the tattoo.
“If it’s too painful to talk about, that’s okay. I was just curious.”
Taking a deep breath in, I closed my eyes and thought about the night I’d gotten that tattooed on my body. “It was one of my first nights out of jail and I found out Holly had taken her own life. Her letters to me had gotten darker and darker as time went on, and then finally they’d stopped, but I was helpless to do anything from in there. The memory of what that man had done to her had tortured her until she couldn’t take it anymore, and I wasn’t there to be strong for her. She turned to drugs to erase the pain, and then finally one day, they took her away.”
Abbi leaned over and kissed me softly on the cheek. “You don’t have to go any further.”
“D
o you know that there wasn’t a day when I was growing up that I didn’t hear my mother tell me why I was named Kane? She used to tell me that I was meant to hurt. That hurting was who I was.”
A look of sadness settled into her face, and Abbi quietly said, “That’s not true. I don’t think you’re meant to hurt others.”
“Maybe she meant I was supposed to hurt. I don’t know. I never asked. Even as she lay dying in that hospital bed, the only thing that brought a smile to her face was telling me I was meant to hurt.”
“I can’t stand to see you like this, Kane. You’ve never been anything but caring and protective of me. How can anyone say you’re meant to hurt? People are meant to love, not hurt one another.”
“Maybe some of us can’t do anything else but hurt—others and ourselves,” I said as I thought about the reality of my life.
“I don’t believe that. You’re a good man. You got that tattoo because you don’t want to hurt people. I don’t know what these demons are inside you, but I believe you fight them with everything in you. If you didn’t, you’d hurt me too, and you don’t.”
I pulled her on top of me and held her close, feeling her heartbeat against me. “What I did last night hurt you, and I’m sorry. I let my demons run loose, and that’s what happens.”
Abbi softly placed her finger up to my lips. “Shhh. No more about that. For now, I don’t want to think about anything that happened. All I want to do is feel you inside me as you show me how much you love me.”
My hands ached to touch her, to cup her beautiful breasts in my palms and squeeze those dark pink nipples between my thumbs and forefinger. I slid my hands down her soft back and gripped her ass hard in my hands.
“Stay with me, no matter what I do.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Kane.”
For the first time with her, I didn’t hold back. She clung to my neck and with one sharp thrust I filled her. Her cunt was hot and wet, and I couldn’t get enough of her. I’d have given anything to just get lost in her forever.