by K. M. Scott
“Good morning, Angel.”
She licked my cheek and bounded off the bed to scamper away through the doorway out to the hall. Fully awake, I looked around at the room I was in and realized I wasn’t at home. Where was I?
“Kane? Kane!”
I heard footsteps coming quickly down the hall and then saw Gemma standing in front of me. But I wasn’t in her apartment either. Where was I?
“Where’s Kane?”
“Good morning, honey. How are you feeling?”
“I’d be feeling a whole lot better if you’d answer my question. Where’s Kane? Why isn’t he here? Where am I?”
Gemma sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand in hers. I knew by her expression that what she was about to say wouldn’t be good. “I’m glad you’re awake. You’ve been asleep for a while, honey.”
“Please tell me what’s going on.”
“Okay. You’re at Cassian and Stefan’s mother’s house on Anna Maria Island. We brought you here after what happened with Mason. Kane’s not here, though. He’s in Tampa.”
“Why? Why isn’t he here with me? Gemma, what aren’t you telling me?”
“Honey, he can’t be here right now. But when he can, he’ll come for you. Don’t worry.”
I sat up in bed and swung my legs off the side. “If he can’t be here with me, I’m going to him. Get me my clothes, please.”
“No, you can’t go to him now, Abbi. It’s not safe. Olivia!”
“What do you mean it’s not safe and why is Olivia here too?” I asked as I looked around the room for any of my clothes.
Olivia appeared in the doorway full of smiles like she was happy to see me. Since we’d never really spoken, I couldn’t imagine why.
“Hey, you. I’m glad to see you’re up. Are you hungry?”
“I want to know where Kane is. Gemma doesn’t seem to want to tell me, so I need you to right now.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but I need you to get back into bed. You’re still pretty banged up and the doctor said you might have a concussion, so you need to rest.”
I didn’t want to get back into bed, but if that’s what I was going to take to get some answers, I’d do it. To be honest, my head was beginning to feel like the room was spinning. “Fine. Just tell me where Kane is and what’s going on.”
As Gemma made sure the sheets and blanket were neatly tucked in against me, Olivia sat in a chair on the other side of the bed and began to explain everything. I lay there staring at the pale pink walls all around me trying to absorb the story she told.
“Kane is still in Tampa, Abbi. He’s back living in his rooms at the club. He’s been there since the night we brought you here.”
“How long ago was that?” I asked as I watched the white ceiling fan above me slowly turn.
“Four days ago. You’ve been in and out for that time, but Alexandria’s doctor says you’re going to be okay.”
I turned to look at Olivia, confused. “Who is Alexandria?”
“Cash’s mother. It’s her beach house we’re at on Anna Maria Island. We brought you here because we needed to hide you away while the police investigate Mason’s death.”
“Mason’s murder?”
Gemma tucked my hair behind my ear and said quietly, “He had a gun. He’d intended to kill you, and when he and Kane fought, the gun accidentally went off.”
A memory of gunshots at the house Mason took me to flashed through my mind. But I’d heard more than one shot. Then a spike of fear raced through me.
“Did Kane get shot too?”
“No,” Gemma said with a smile, not knowing her answer created more questions than comfort in me.
“The police are treating Kane as the number one suspect in what they’re calling a murder,” Olivia said quietly.
All those horrible feelings of losing him I’d experienced that night when he was arrested and led away came back with a vengeance, and I began to cry, wishing I never woke up to hear all this. Kane was going to jail because he wanted to save me, and there was nothing I could do about it this time.
“Abbi, it’s going to be okay. Don’t cry.”
I looked at Gemma and shook my head, not believing what she was saying. “How could it be okay? Kane killed someone to save me and now he’s going to go to jail. Nothing will ever be okay again!”
Olivia leaned over and squeezed my hand in sympathy. “Don’t worry just yet. Cash and Stefan vouched for him and said he was with them all night, so he’s got an alibi.”
“So why is he still in Tampa and I’m here?”
“Well, it’s not that simple. After the problem with Jethro, Kane is naturally the one they’d look at since Mason was beaten before he was shot. Even more, your injuries would make them think Kane did it to avenge what Mason did to you. That’s why we need to hide you out here for a while.”
“Don’t worry, honey,” Gemma said in her usual sweet way. “Kane’s going to take care of everything.”
Olivia walked toward the door. “Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.”
“Yeah. Sure. Maybe some toast or something,” I said, not really hungry but not wanting to talk anymore.
She left and Gemma sat with me, silent for a long time before she said, “Abbi, he’s going to be fine and as soon as the cops stop investigating him, he’ll come here for you.”
“He killed someone, Gemma. They’re not going to just let that go. Mason was a councilman. A politician’s death isn’t something they’re just going to spend a few days on and forget.”
“Kane was careful, honey. He’s got this covered. Don’t worry.”
“He killed someone, Gemma! Murder!” I began to sob, unable to handle the truth. Because of me, Kane was now a murderer for the second time and certain to be sent to prison. I’d turned the man I loved into a murderer for me.
“That man was going to kill you, Abbi Linde,” she scolded me. “Do you understand me? He had a gun and he wanted to kill you.” She got up from the bed and grabbed a mirror from the dresser. Holding it in front of my face, she said, “Take a good look at what he did. That’s four days out and you still look like someone took a fucking bat to your face. He kidnapped you, beat you, and planned to kill you. And you want to blame Kane for doing what any man should do for the woman he loves?”
I sat stunned at her words. Looking at my reflection, all I saw was what I’d always been. A victim.
“I can’t help it. He killed someone, Gemma. After all those times boyfriends beat me and how many times I wished someone would make them feel what I felt, now that it’s happened all I feel is sick. How can I ever look at him the same again?”
“I told you this when I first suggested you come to work at Club X. Kane is a good man. He’s crazy in love with you, probably going out of his mind missing you, and you’d be insane to think of him as anything else but that. Would you rather be dead and Mason be alive?”
It wasn’t that easy. Mason’s death made Kane something I wasn’t sure I could handle. I loved him with all my heart, but what if I never could look at him the same again knowing what he’d done because of me?
“I’m tired, Gemma. I’m going to lay down a little while,” I said, needing to avoid this conversation.
She reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Okay, honey, but I want to leave this with you.”
I took it from her hand and looked at it. “What’s this?”
“A letter from Kane. Olivia brought it yesterday.”
Gemma left me and I opened the envelope to find a single sheet of paper. In his own hand, he’d written me things he’d never said to me before.
My angel,
I’m sorry I’m not there with you when you need me most. I told you I’d never leave you alone, but I swear I had no choice. Every night I lay on the floor next to my twin bed in my rooms at the club and think of the time I spent there with you. You’re the first thought I have every morning and the last thought I have every night. In betwee
n, it feels like someone’s carved into my chest and taken my heart out, leaving an emptiness there only you can fill.
There’s a darkness in me, angel—my demons demand I protect you—and I don’t regret letting them rule me that night. For you, I’d give up everything, including my freedom, if I could know you were safe. I promise I’ll make this up to you if it takes the rest of my life. Please don’t give up on us, angel.
Never doubt I love you more than anyone or anything in this world.
Kane
His letter made my heart ache and I missed him so much at that moment, I couldn’t think about those doubts I’d had just minutes before. I feared they’d return sometime, though, and I’d have to deal with them or lose him. There was no other way.
Day after day, I waited to hear that Kane had been cleared of the charges, but each time Olivia came to see me, all she could report was the investigation was continuing and at least he hadn’t been charged. The days became weeks and even though I wanted to write back to him to say I loved him and missed him more than I thought I could ever miss another person, I couldn’t just in case the police searched his rooms. Any connection to me could endanger him, so all those words I wanted to say to him remained unspoken and hidden in my heart.
I missed our little house where we’d made a home together, even if I began to like Alexandria’s house on Anna Maria Island with its warm breezes that blew through the French doors of my bedroom and porch right outside where I sat at night and wished Kane was there beside me as I watched the sun set. I told myself that this was only temporary and tomorrow Kane would come and take me and Angel home with him.
But tomorrow always came without him. My face healed over time until there was no evidence of what Mason had done to me, but still I couldn’t go back home.
Three weeks went by without another word from him, and each day became harder to deal with. Gemma and Olivia tried to keep my spirits up, reminding me to keep in mind that at least he hadn’t been arrested, but I didn’t want at leasts or anything else that was supposed to make me feel better.
I only wanted him.
By the beginning of May, four weeks had passed and getting out of bed seemed like a useless attempt at pretending I was happy. Even worse, I came down with a bug and couldn’t keep a thing in my stomach. My misery was complete. I was alone without the man I loved and not even sure I’d ever see him again, away from my home, and sick.
One morning as I knelt over the toilet, disappointed that even though I’d felt better the night before whatever this was had come back with a vengeance again, I realized in all the time I’d been there at that house I’d never had my period. Standing at the bathroom mirror, I counted back to the last time I had and the last time Kane and I made love and the answer became obvious.
I didn’t have the flu. I was pregnant.
Behind me, Gemma knocked on the door. “Not feeling any better this morning? I thought you’d shaken it last night.”
I rinsed my mouth and walked out past her to sit on the bed. My legs felt like they were made of rubber and would give out at any moment. My hands began to shake as I thought about how I would break this news to him.
“Olivia’s bringing up some toast in a minute. Maybe you should get under the covers. You’re shaking, honey.”
I hung my head and sighed. How was I going to have a baby when its father might go to prison any day?
What a mess my life was.
Gemma sat down next to me and rubbed my back. “Why so sad? It’ll be gone in a few days.”
“No, it won’t. This isn’t the flu, Gem. I’m pregnant.”
I heard her gasp and then she hugged me tightly as she made a squealing noise in my ear. “Oh Abbi! That’s wonderful! Wait until Kane hears. He’ll be over the moon!”
Turning to look at her, I couldn’t fathom what the hell she was so happy about. “Do you never see anything but the positive side of life? I’m pregnant, living here away from Kane, who may be hauled off to jail at any time. Could there be a worse time to bring a baby into our lives?”
Gemma kissed me and jumped up off the bed. Spreading her arms wide, she smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting for a sign for weeks. This is it. Finally, some good news out of all of this. A baby is the best news ever too. When are you going to tell him?”
“I have no idea. I haven’t heard from him in a month. At this rate, I’ll have the baby before we see each other again. And I can’t write to him anyway, at least not until the police stop looking at him.”
“You can tell Olivia and she can tell him,” she suggested.
“No. I want him to find out from me, not secondhand, so don’t say a thing to her, okay?”
“Of course.” Gemma looked like she was thinking of a solution and then pointed at me excitedly. “I got it! You could ask her to give him a message from you that only he would understand.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Think of something only he would know so you can tell him. Imagine how happy he’s going to be when he finds out. After weeks of all the police stuff and being away from you, he’ll be thrilled to find out the good news.”
“No. Then he’ll risk coming here to see me and all that time away from each other will be for nothing. No. I won’t tell him until he comes back to me on his own.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, and promise me you won’t say a thing. I’d never forgive myself if everything was ruined because of this.”
With a frown, she nodded. “I promise.”
I knew Gemma would have a hard time keeping this a secret, but thankfully, I didn’t think she ever saw Kane either so there’d be no chance she’d be able to tell him. I just had to hope she wouldn’t break her promise and tell Olivia.
* * *
I SAT in Cash’s office with him and Stefan as he made his daily call to the lawyer to find out the latest news on the investigation into Mason’s death. Six weeks had gone by since that night, and although I didn’t regret what I’d done, I did regret that it meant I had to be away from Abbi for so long. Listening to Olivia’s reports about her nearly broke my heart. She may have been fooling Olivia and Gemma into believing she was okay, but my gut told me otherwise.
I knew my angel. She was going through everything I was, and I wasn’t there for her, the strength I’d promised her when she needed it most.
Cash hung up the phone and began talking, but my mind was miles away with Abbi. Stefan nudged me out of my daydreaming, and I looked up to see them both grinning like they’d heard a funny joke and I’d missed it.
“Sorry. My mind was somewhere else.”
“No problem. I’ve got good news. Jessup says it looks like they’re onto a different line of investigation. Seems none of us panned out, even though we’d been paying him every month and you looked like an obvious suspect because of what happened with Jethro.”
“That’s great! But we were all suspects?” Stefan asked.
“Yes. Since we were paying him protection every month, we’d have a good reason to want him dead,” Cash answered. “That it overlooks the reality that if he’s dead we have no one to help us didn’t seem to occur to the police.”
“So I’m in the clear?”
“Looks like it.”
The idea of finally being able to go back to my life slowly sunk into my brain. I could return to Abbi now and our life together. A sense of relief washed over me. Six weeks of worrying every day that I’d be taken away to jail finally over.
“I want to thank both of you for all that you’ve done during this. I couldn’t have done this alone.”
Cash smiled and nodded his head. “This is what family does, Kane. You’re our brother. We protect each other.”
“Yeah, you’re blood,” Stefan continued. “When one of us is in trouble, he can always count on his brothers.”
“Thanks. But what’s going to happen to the club? We’ve been closed ever since Mason’s man in the police department didn’t get his payme
nt three weeks ago. What are we going to do?”
Deep down, I knew the answer to my question. I just didn’t want to admit it. Without someone like Shank or Mason, Club X couldn’t stay open. Too much of my area would get us shut down the minute some eager cop found out we weren’t protected.
“Unfortunately, until we figure out what to do, whether we can find another Mason or not, I think we have to stay closed. The nature of our business means we need someone like that,” Cash said.
“I’m sorry for that. I never meant to do this to you two and to the club,” I said quietly. I hadn’t meant to ruin their livelihoods with my demons.
“Things were changing anyway, so maybe it’s just the way it’s meant to be,” Stefan said as he chucked me in the shoulder. “Shay’s going to be back soon, and we were going to wait to tell everyone, but she’s taken a job at a school in Texas. I was going to be leaving you guys, believe it or not.”
Cash and I sat there in stunned silence. I looked over at him, and like me, the look of amazement on his face told the whole story. Neither one of us just a year earlier would have imagined Stefan settled down with a good woman, a soon-to-be college professor no less, and moving away from Tampa.
“Will you be getting married?” Cash asked like the big brother he was.
Stefan grinned and shrugged. “We don’t know yet. We’re just having fun and loving every minute together. I keep telling you guys. I’m a changed man.”
“I guess you are,” I said, still shocked from his news.
“And your wedding is right around the corner,” Stefan said to Cash. “Just a few more weeks. I guess this vacation from the club is good.”
“Yep, and then a long honeymoon in Italy for three weeks. I haven’t had that much time off since we began this. I’d say I’d get bored not working, but something tells me that’s not going to happen.”