She pulled out one of the chairs at our table, while I unloaded the books in front of her. “Most of those I’m bringing back.” She smiled. “That was the reason for my library trip. The real reason.” She gazed up at me.
Damn she was cute. “So, I was just a bonus?” I joked.
A laugh escaped her lips. “Yeah.” She bit down hard on her bottom lip, and my eyes narrowed in. I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad, I couldn’t see straight. I didn’t care that we were standing in a public library. I didn’t care that someone might see us, and run back to tell her brothers.
I reached up my thumb and ran it slowly along her bottom lip. She sucked in a deep breath, before her lips parted and her eyes slowly closed.
I needed to touch her, to explore every single inch of her, almost as much as I needed to breathe. My heart banged against my rib cage, and the thread of patience I once had was out the window.
My hands moved to her hips, and I closed the gap between us. “You look so beautiful. I want to kiss you so bad.”
She licked her lips, and closed the tiny gap that was left between our bodies, and whispered softly, “I want to kiss you too.”
Something caught my attention from out of the corner of my eye, and it dawned on me that we were still very much inside the library. We didn’t need that kind of public exposure. In the fiery heat of the moment I guess we just forgot ourselves, and nothing else in the room seemed to matter. It was stupid of us, even if my throbbing crotch approved. We couldn’t afford to make those kinds of mistakes.
I moved my body around to the side of hers to keep all eyes off of her.
“Classic.” She said.
“Huh?”
She looked up at me, and then tilted her head to the left towards a row of books. “Classics,” she repeated and then darted off towards the books.
It took me second to follow, but then I realized that she was leading me to the very empty classic section of our library. My girl was beautiful and smart.
“Kiss me once, and make it count,” she urged. “I don’t have much time.”
And I didn’t plan on wasting it. I backed her up against the row of books and pressed my lips to hers. In an instant my body knew that she was mine. My hands roamed her body like she was made just for me.
When my tongue pressed lightly against hers, I became a ravenous beast, and she wouldn’t dare forget this kiss. Her mouth was warm, and she tasted sweet, good enough to eat. My thoughts were as dirty as the day was long. A man could get killed for the things I wanted to do to her.
I had to pull myself away, and take a deep breath before I completely lost control. Oh, I was seconds away from losing it. If her hand wrapped any tighter around the front of my shirt, I was going to blow my load right there.
“That totally counted.” She smirked as she rested her head against my chest.
That’s right. I was the king of the universe.
When she lifted her head and looked up at me, I smiled at her. “I’ve never seen you wear glasses before. It’s fucking hot.”
She blushed red, and playfully shoved my chest. “I haven’t been feeling too well, and my head has been hurting. I didn’t feel like messing with my contacts.”
“Are you feeling better now?” I asked her.
“Right now…” she paused and leaned up to lightly kiss my lips. “I feel really good.”
I groaned. “You’re killing me.”
She giggled. “Let’s go stud. I have to get some stuff done before I leave this library.”
“After you.”
I watched her walk away, my eyes glued to her ass.
It was brutal, but in the best way possible. I had to adjust myself before I could walk out from behind the shelves. If my jeans had been any looser I would’ve been sporting a tent.
I hoped liked hell, that I didn’t have to wait too long to see her again, otherwise there would be a lot of cold showers in my future.
10
Gwen
After a couple of days of rest, I was starting to feel better. My head was a bit clearer, and I didn’t feel as weak as I did before. Once I got back into the routine of classes, I completely blocked out everything else. I was back to having a one-track mind, fully determined to do my best. School had a way of keeping me grounded and on track. That must’ve been why my parents insisted that I stay so focused. I was always smart, certainly not the smartest, but I worked hard for my good grades. Even in high school. I was the one you’d find studying in the library until closing time, and who’d stay after school to get extra one-on-one help from my teachers. It wasn’t that I didn’t know the material. I just strived to be the best that I could be. Mostly anyway, up until I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I always thought that it would be impossible for me to slip, or to fail in any way, but I was keeping bad company. I was finding myself doing certain things just because everyone else was doing them. Thankfully, that was all in the past. I rarely brought it up. Actually, I tried hard not to think of it at all, because it was a time in my life that I hated remembering. Too many things happened that I wanted to erase and pretend didn’t.
Just thinking about those times made me tremble, made me wish I were a whole other person. I really needed to start getting to class a little later, so I didn’t have the time to sit and think. Certain classrooms like this one that were small and intimate, made me reminisce too damn much.
As people started bustling in, the noise level grew. This was the time when I would get overwhelmed. Normally, I would. I’d worry about the crowd. Wonder if people were staring at me. They usually weren’t though. I was just paranoid. Things felt a little different today. Coming to class a sophomore, made me a little less nervous. I guess I just knew what to expect this time.
The back row of class was where I always sat, just in case Fox needed to find me for some reason. He always knew to look for me in the back row. No one ever bothered me much there.
With my pen in hand, I tapped it along the edge of the table in front of me. I was in another world watching as people filled up the seats when a male voice spoke my name. I recognized it immediately, but it wasn’t a good thing. That voice was one that used to haunt my dreams. I’d know it anywhere.
I froze in place, as the chair next to me scooted roughly across the floor. The screeching sound it made sent shivers down my body.
“Long time, no see,” he said.
My body was still frozen in place. Any sudden movements would draw attention to me and that was the last thing I wanted. Turning slowly, I lifted my head in his direction.
Oh, how I wish I hadn’t. That face was sickening. I remembered it all too well.
“I don’t see that brother of yours anywhere,” he spoke again. The sound of his voice sent icy chills through my veins. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember his name, but I didn’t need to.
That face.
That voice.
I’d never forget.
“What do you want?” I asked him. My voice was just barely above a whisper.
“Nothing.” He grinned. “I just like seeing you squirm.”
I felt like I could vomit, like every piece of my insides was rattled. A flash of that dreadful night came rolling in, and I squeezed my eyes shut tight. I wanted it to go away. I wanted him to go away. So much of that night was hazy to me, but the few pieces I remember all involved him, the nameless face that was sitting right next to me.
My feet were itching to run away, but I didn’t want him to follow. I sat there patiently waiting for the professor to walk in, so I could bolt like lightning.
He moved in a little closer, and I could hear his breathing. It was heavy like a dog, and I couldn’t take it anymore. There was no way I could sit there next to the guy who attacked me.
I jumped up from my seat, and grabbed my bag. My feet moved as if they had a mind of their own, and I left the room so fast my head was spinning.
Every pounding step matched the beat of my heart, fast and loud.
How could he be there? How could he talk to me after what he did?
It was the night after homecoming. I was at some party with a couple of my girlfriends. We drank a lot that night. I remember that. We were drinking everything that was handed to us.
He was there.
He locked the door to the bedroom.
I remember his face.
I remember how he tried to touch me.
I remember the sound of his breath in my ear.
I remember pounding on the bedroom door and screaming.
Then I remember the fight.
And I remember the car…
But that was it.
Everything else was a blur. But hearing his voice just then, made me feel afraid and anxious, even sad. It rattled me. I was like a Magic 8 Ball of emotions. Shake me and see what emotion you get next.
“Ow, shit!” I said when my arm slammed against the concrete wall. I don’t know how far I’d run, but when I looked over my shoulder he wasn’t there. He hadn’t followed me, but it didn’t stop my racing heart.
Unable to catch my breath, I squatted down and put my head between my knees. My eyes were shut tight when I felt a hand touch my back. Instinctively I lurched forward, scared to death.
“Get away!” I yelled out. Hoping someone else would hear me and help.
“Gwen.”
I looked back at Paislee. She had crouched down next to me with a petrified look on her face. She had no idea how happy I was to see her.
I sighed in relief, and my shoulders relaxed. Without giving it a single thought, I threw my whole body in her direction. I wrapped my arms around her and the tears started to fall. There was no stopping them. I was never so happy to see another person than I was in that moment. It didn’t matter that I barely knew her.
“Are you okay?” She asked me, but I didn’t know how to answer her. My breaths were still short and ragged, and my hands were still shaking.
“I need my brother.” Those were the only words I could manage to say.
She shook her head. “Okay. Where’s your phone?”
I reached inside the front pocket of my bag, and held it out to her. There was no way I could dial. My hands were barely working.
“It’s under Fox,” I told her.
She found it quickly and held the phone up to her ear. “Can you stand?” She asked me, but I wasn’t sure. Possibly, unless my knees were as unsteady as my hands.
I took her free hand with mine and stood slowly, perching myself up against the wall. She was explaining to Fox where we were and told him we’d be right outside the doors to the building. The conversation was short, but Fox wasn’t much of a talker. He never had been.
I heard her say “I don’t know,” and “I’m not sure,” a couple of times. It made me feel like such an idiot that she’d seen me that way, and had no idea what was going on.
She hung up the call, and handed my phone back to me before picking up my bag. “I told him we’d meet him right out front.”
“Thank you,” I said sincerely. She was truly a lifesaver.
Taking a deep breath, I felt relieved. Fox was on his way, and would be there any moment. He’d fix everything.
At least that’s what I hoped.
I continued taking deep breaths, trying hard to keep myself calm. In through my mouth, out through my nose.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“Birdy.” I heard the voice that I’d been waiting to here. “I’ve got you.”
I tucked my face into his neck, breathing him in. It was an instant relief, like someone had finally let the air out of me right before I was about burst. “Fox,” I whispered.
“I’ve got you, Little Bird. I’m taking you home.”
I kept my face buried in his shirt and didn’t look up as we walked to his car. My fingers were still trembling when he helped me into the front seat. I slouched down, feeling defeated. The weight of it all exhausted me, like I’d just finished running a marathon.
When Fox was situated behind the wheel, he turned to face me. His smile was wavering, and the concerned look on his face frightened me. His hand reached up to the chest of his shirt, and he rubbed small circles over the spot where is heart sat firmly in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I told him, unsure of what I was even apologizing for. I just felt like a burden all the time. Like he wished he never had a sister. Surely, he’d rather have a normal life and not one where he has to constantly worry about me. He always finds a way to rescue me somehow, and I wonder if he secretly wishes he could run far away from it all or if I’m the only one wishing to run.
After a brief moment of silence, he finally spoke. “I’m sorry too, Little Bird.”
“For what?” I whispered.
“For everything,” he responded.
The pain was evident on his face. I didn’t respond, because seeing him so upset made my chest ache. Instead, I tucked myself into the seat and let my eyes drift shut.
Could this day be over already?
11
Josh
Damn.
I was shuffling in my seat, trying hard to find the button to shut my phone off. The professor was eyeing me from the front of the room like he was about to shove his dry erase marker up my butt. I was able to turn it to vibrate, but the damn thing wouldn’t stop. One call after another, Lee was on a roll. After about the fifth time, I crept slowly out of the class and into the hallway. It wasn’t like Lee to call back to back like that, not unless something was wrong and that worried me.
“Hello,” I answered quickly. It was my first day in the class, and already I was making a horrible impression. “This better be good,” I snapped, not really meaning to. I was just aggravated.
“I’m sorry,” she replied in a hurry. “I had to talk to you. There is something going on with Gwen. I think it’s something serious. Can you meet me?”
Gwen?
“What’s going on?”
“Just meet me at the coffee shop.”
It sounded urgent, but I was in the middle of class. “Can’t you just tell me what’s going on? Is she hurt, sick, or something? You’re worrying me.”
“Trust me Josh. We really need to talk. If you fall behind in class, I’ll help you catch up. I promise.”
“Okay. Fine. I’ll meet you at the coffee shop in like five minutes. I’m on my way.”
As I headed out of the building and across the lawn, I checked my phone for any messages from Gwen, but there were none. I don’t know why I expected one. It took over two days to get the last one, and since then she hadn’t said another word.
It wasn’t easy falling for her. She worked my nerves, kept me on the edge of my seat, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure her out. Lee’s call had me nervous. She obviously knew something I didn’t.
When I walked inside the campus coffee shop, I saw Lee sitting at a table by the window. By the look on her face, I knew something was terribly was wrong. I could read her like a book. Lee was never the type to wear her emotions on her sleeve. You had to know her well, in order to gauge her facial expressions. This one was bad. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. Being strong wasn’t always easy for her. She could do it when the time was right, but in front of me she couldn’t hide.
She stood up and met me halfway before I even reached her table.
“What’s going on?” I asked her.
She shook her head violently back and forth, before wrapping her arms around my waist. “It was awful.” She mumbled.
We were attracting attention in the overly crowded shop, so I suggested we go outside. She grabbed her coffee from the table, and I cradled her under my arm as we made our way out the door.
“I was walking through Bradford Hall heading to the bookstore, when I saw Gwen,” she explained. Her arms were waving as she spoke, so I knew it was making her nervous. I didn’t push, just waited for her to explain. “She was bent down by the wall with her head between her knees. Her body was rocking
back and forth. I couldn’t tell what was wrong with her. I thought maybe she was sick or something. So, I stopped, and I bent down to speak to her. Only,” she paused to take a deep breath. “When I reached my hand out to touch her shoulder, she screamed. She yelled for me to get away.”
“Why?” That didn’t sound like her at all. I was confused.
“That’s the thing. When she recognized it was me she threw her arms around me in a hug. It was weird. It was like she was expecting someone else. She was, ghostly white, and shaking so bad that she could barely stand.”
I ran a hand along my jaw. “Where is she now?”
“With Fox. As soon as I found her she asked me to call him, so I did. He met me outside of the building and took her home. Or at least that’s where I think he took her. I’m not sure, but Josh…” She looked up at me with her worried eyes. “It scared me. I was trying to be strong for her, but I’ve never seen anyone so freaked out before. She was out of breath too, like maybe she was being chased. I don’t freaking know. It was scary.”
“Come here,” I pulled her to my chest. I could understand why she was scared, just thinking about it made me feel like my skin was crawling. What the hell was going on? Was she okay?
My mind was racing with thoughts of Gwen, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Something was always wrong, when it came to her.
It was time I got to the bottom of the pot. There’d be no more beating around the bush. I wanted to know everything, and someone was going to tell me.
If it got my face punched in, then so be it.
I walked Lee to the parking lot where Jude picked her up. He said that he’d stay with her and make sure she was okay. She was coming down off an adrenaline high, and needed to rest. I left her in his capable hands, and headed back towards the dorm. I couldn’t worry about both of my girls. One was enough.
Inside my room, I slung my backpack on my bed and grabbed my car keys from my nightstand. I didn’t have another class for two hours, so I figured I’d take a drive and give myself some time to think. In my mind I’d formed an opinion about Gwen’s situation, a scary opinion. One that likely wasn’t the truth, but I had nothing to go on.
Are you with me? Page 5