Tyler released his legs and automatically Ethan wrapped them around the man’s hips. His lover leaned forward and licked a trail from his neck down to his left nipple biting down on it. Recently, Ethan had craved sex constantly, a fire burning inside of him and only Tyler could extinguish the flames.
“God you feel so damn good,” Tyler moaned.
Tyler’s hips stuttered as he came, gushing and coating the inside of Ethan. They had forgone using a condom and Ethan couldn’t say he regretted the feeling of having Tyler’s cum inside of him. Ethan came a few seconds after him, letting go of the bed rails and holding on tightly to his lover. He felt needy and vulnerable, unsure of what was happening to him.
I’m falling for him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t admit his feelings for Tyler out loud. He couldn’t. Not when their casual affair was turning into something more real. Possibly too real for him and not for Tyler.
“Are you ok?” Tyler asked, kissing him on the forehead before lying next to him.
What could he say? No, I’m falling for you and I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell you. I’m such a fucking coward. Instead, he said, “Yes, I’m great considering you just turned my world inside out.”
Tyler smiled at the compliment then pulled Ethan towards him, snuggling together. Ethan closed his eyes, taking in Tyler’s scent. He knew what he had to do. For all their talk of starting some sort of relationship, he knew Tyler was not ready to make a commitment to him. And he was doing it again, moving too fast and letting his heart lead him into another failed relationship and another heartbreak. Great sex or not he had to protect his heart before it got broken. Ethan realized he was very naïve about how he really felt about Tyler. Kissing Tyler on his sweaty chest, Ethan knew that would be their last time together.
** ** ** ** **
Ethan woke later that night and pulled himself away from Tyler’s arms, trying not to wake him. He got dressed quietly and got ready to leave. He walked to the door, but stopped before turning around and lightly kissing Tyler on the lips without waking him. Silently, he made his way down the stairs and slipped out, making it to his car. He sat behind the wheel knowing that he was making a mistake leaving and not speaking to Tyler about what he was feeling, but he was afraid of being rejected.
This is for the best. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to this.
Turning on his car, Ethan pulled out of his parking spot and drove away, willing himself not to look back. Maybe if he did, he would have seen Tyler’s silhouette watching him as he drove off, and maybe he would have turned back, not feeling like he had left a large piece of his heart behind.
** ** ** ** **
Tyler rolled over to pull Ethan in his arms and came up empty. He opened his eyes in time to see his lover slipping out the door. He reached over and looked at the clock, it was early in the morning. He figured that since they had established some sort of agreement to begin a relationship, that Ethan would no longer need to sneak out in the middle of the night.
He felt that there was something bothering Ethan, but did not want to push it. Their relationship was still in the beginning stages, and fragile. A ping from his phone alerted him to a new text. Reaching over he picked up his phone and read it. He would need to talk with Ethan, but it would have to wait until after he returned from his mission.
** ** ** ** **
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ethan sat in the waiting room, leafing through the magazine in his hands without actually reading it. He knew exactly why he was there and only needed confirmation.
I’m pregnant or at least I think I am.
He had suspected for a couple of days, but pretended otherwise. Unlike Christen, he knew exactly who and where the father was. Since the night he left Tyler, Ethan hadn’t contacted the other man. He didn’t know if he should feel hurt that Tyler hadn’t contacted him either. It was as if Tyler was confirming that their relationship was over as well and all that was between them was sex and nothing else.
But the truth was Ethan wouldn’t know what to say to Tyler; he also felt like a complete coward the way he left that night. It had been close to a month since he had snuck out of Tyler’s home in the still of the night. Ethan hoped that he hadn’t ruined anything between him and Tyler.
If his suspicion proved to be true, Ethan would need to tell Tyler about the baby sooner rather than later. They would need to decide the new aspects of their relationship as parents. Ethan threw down the magazine and tried not to dwell on how stupid he had been acting lately, pining over a man that still thought of them as fuck buddies.
He promised himself a long time ago that if things didn’t work out with Tyler that he would not let it ruin the familial relationship he had developed with the Hamilton’s.
The nurse called his name and Ethan went in to see the doctor. He was not surprised when the doctor confirmed that he was indeed pregnant. Ethan sat in front of the doctor, as the man spoke, his words passing over Ethan’s head.
“Mr. Beaumont,” the doctor, whose name Ethan seemed to have forgotten at that moment, said. “Are you doing alright? I know finding out that you are pregnant can bring many emotions, but you don’t look well.”
Ethan sighed internally, he did not need another person caring about him. He was doing fine, or so he thought. He had also made up his mind that after his appointment, he would go and speak with Tyler, it would do no good to keep his pregnancy a secret.
Maybe telling Tyler about the baby would bring them closer towards an actual relationship. In the beginning, before he started to have strong feelings for Tyler, he would have thought differently.
“Yes, I’m fine,” he finally answered. “It’s just as you said, Dr. Knox, I’m just a bit shocked,” Ethan said finally, remembering the doctor’s name.
The doctor did not look convinced, but dropped the subject and continued on to talk with Tyler about his prenatal care.
** ** ** ** **
Later that night he drove over to Tyler’s house, parked at the corner and nervously stared at the front door. Ethan had no idea how he was going to tell his lover that he was four weeks pregnant. They were careful, or at least tried to be. Ethan clutched the steering wheel, willing himself to get out of the car and walk up to Tyler’s front door.
There was never a question in Ethan’s mind about keeping his baby, no matter what happened between him and Tyler. Ethan sighed and rested his head back on the headrest, closing his eyes.
There is only one way to do this, get my ass out of the car and tell him. The possibility of being rejected still lingered in the back of his mind.
Ethan decided that he wouldn’t ask Tyler for help, they never talked about anything such as marriage and family. The pregnancy was not something either of them saw coming; Ethan made sure to keep up with his male hormone pregnancy shots that were supposed to prevent him from getting pregnant, however, they were not foolproof. Ethan opened his eyes and looked at the firehouse. Tyler’s front door opened and from his vantage point, Ethan saw a beautiful and shapely brunette step out and turn around, saying something to whoever she was with.
Tyler stepped out after her; he had on a pair of black slacks with his shirt unbuttoned. The brunette reached up and pulled Tyler into a kiss that would melt ice. Ethan gasped when it seemed like Tyler was not going to push the brunette away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
I guess he moved on quicker than I expected.
Tears pooled in Ethan’s eyes and it confirmed that he had done the right thing by leaving before he got hurt. Sooner or later all good things must come to an end. And apparently that was the end for him and Tyler. There was nothing he could say. With his mind made up, Ethan turned on his car and drove away.
Ethan needed a few days away to sort out what he was going to do. Ethan didn’t look back; it was time to move forward and get on with his life, which he seemed to be doing a lot of lately. It was evident love was not for him. Ethan place
d one hand on his belly and vowed that the only person that would receive all his love would be his child. That way his heart would never break again.
** ** ** ** **
Four months. That’s how long it’d been since Tyler had seen or heard from Ethan. After returning home from his month long mission, the first place he went to was Ethan’s home. He knocked on the door until his knuckles hurt. He called his cell phone only to have his calls go straight to voicemail. The next morning Tyler called Ethan’s office, and was told that he was taking some time off and they were not sure exactly when he would return.
Tyler had no idea what the hell was going on. He prayed that nothing had happened to Ethan while he was gone. He thought everything was going great between them. The night Ethan snuck out of his bed, Tyler realized that his lover needed some space and let him go. Tyler understood that everything was happening all at once, he felt the same way, so having some time apart was fine. Tyler did not expect their time apart would turn into a month or longer.
A few days after Tyler returned from his last mission, his mother dragged him, Lucas, and his father to Christen’s home in Providence. His mom had finally found out that Christen was pregnant. The revelation of his parents finding out that they were going to be grandparents was anticlimactic to say the least.
However, his mom could not stop smiling, happy that she was finally going to be a grandmother. Tyler was also able to meet Jaxson and got along quite well with his soon to be brother-in-law. Tyler was happy that his little brother was surrounding himself with people that would care for him.
Tyler was able to pull Christen aside and ask him if he had heard from Ethan. Tyler wanted to find Ethan before giving anything away about their relationship. He had also promised that whatever was going on would stay between them. It was a promise he intended to keep until he got some fucking answers.
On Christen’s word, Tyler got the information he needed and went to Ethan’s family home in New Orleans, only to find the Beaumont home vacant. Tyler spoke with the caretaker, who told him that no one had been to the home in years.
For reasons he was unable to explain, Tyler wanted to walk around the Beaumont home. The caretaker was fine with letting Tyler look around once he explained that he was a close family friend of the Beaumont’s. White sheets and dust covered the furniture. Being inside the Beaumont home, Tyler felt closer to Ethan than he had in weeks. Tyler realized he had been lying to himself all that time, it was more than mere attraction he had felt for Ethan.
I’ve wanted Ethan for a very long time.
It was why he had suggested they continue their affair beyond a weekend. Tyler wanted the opportunity to get to know Ethan better and maybe convince him that they were good together beyond sex. Seeing Christen pregnant Tyler kicked himself when he remembered that after a few times together they rarely used protection. Tyler never asked Ethan if kept up with his shots. In some ways they had become reckless and never thought of the possibilities of ‘what if’.
Shit, what if he’s pregnant and carrying my child?
Tyler knew he was ready to be an Uncle. But a father, that was something different. Hell, he just admitted his growing feelings for Ethan. Tyler lied when he told Lucas that maybe it was time for him to move on. He did not want to move on, Ethan was it for him.
I need to find Ethan to see if we have a chance.
Tyler knew his mother would be happy if he settled down, given the way she gushed and fawned like a proud grandmother. Considering that his mother adored Ethan, it would make it extra special. Tyler wasn’t against keeping his relationship with Ethan from his family.
They didn’t need that added pressure, when they were not yet ready for certain things like marriage and children. Tyler figured he would know exactly the right moment to propose marriage to the man he loved.
Where the fuck are you, Ethan? He wondered desperately.
Especially since he had some information that he felt Ethan should know about his ex-lover Sean. From what Ethan had told Tyler, he admitted that he knew very little about Sean. Maybe with the information he had gathered it would give Ethan some insight on the man he used to care about. Tyler was positive that some of it was going to break Ethan’s heart once he found out that Sean was more than just a cheater.
Tyler did not know where else to search for Ethan after leaving New Orleans and returned to New York. He buried himself in his work. It hurt to go back to the firehouse knowing that he was not going home to his lover. The place he once thought held so much warmth felt cold and empty.
Tyler sighed, and looked down at the mountain of files on his desk and shook his head. He could not keep his mind focus on work any longer. Tyler decided to call it a night and started to move the files to his case, but was interrupted when his cell phone rang. Tyler looked at the number and didn’t recognize it; he puzzled as to who it could be.
“Tyler Hamilton,” he answered.
“Mr. Hamilton, I am calling from Westview Hospital. You are listed as the emergency contact for Ethan Beaumont.” Tyler’s body stiffened and his heart started beating loudly in his ear. He opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. “Mr. Beaumont was in a car accident.”
“Wh... Where is he?” Tyler’s mouth moved before his brain could catch up to his words.
“Anchorage, Alaska,” answered, the caller on the other end.
Alaska, what the fuck is Ethan doing there?
** ** ** ** **
Almost thirteen hours later, Tyler was landing in Anchorage, Alaska. Tyler was anxious the entire plane ride with worry for Ethan. No one questioned why he took off to parts unknown, as a Vice President of the company, the only person he answered to was his father, whose main concern right then was the upcoming birth of his first grandchildren.
Tyler got into the rented car with only one destination in mind, seeing Ethan and finding out if he was ok. Tyler did not know much about Ethan’s condition; he hung up before the person could tell him anything else, to book his flight. In hindsight, maybe he should have asked more questions, but the only thing he wanted to do was be at Ethan’s side. The minute he walked through the hospital doors Tyler asked what room, Ethan was staying in.
He was then directed to Ethan’s floor and told to wait in the waiting area, the doctor would be with him as soon as possible. Tyler was agitated and paced the room, running his hand through his hair repeatedly, as if trying to pull out every strand. Tyler was especially glad that he was the only one in the room, and there was no one there to witness his current freak out.
He was about to walk out of the room when the door opened and an older gentleman in a doctor’s coat walked into the room.
“Mr. Hamilton,” the doctor said, extending his hand for him to shake it. “I’m Dr. Wells, Mr. Beaumont’s physician.”
“How is he?” Tyler asked immediately.
“Physically, he will be fine, he sustained minor injuries and will recover quickly. The air bags saved his life, but caused some internal damage.”
“What do you mean by that?” He asked the doctor.
“Because of the impact of the other car hitting him, it caused his placenta to shift, killing the baby,” Doctor Wells whispered. “He lost the baby.”
Tyler gasped. “Ba…baby?” he stuttered. “Are you telling me that Ethan is, was pregnant?” Tyler felt sick. Ethan was pregnant with my baby. Oh God. “Oh god, no,” Tyler whimpered, tears welled in his eyes. Ethan. His hands began to shake, and Tyler didn’t know what else to say.
“Yes,” Dr. Wells answered.
“How far along was he?” he whispered. Tyler couldn’t look at Dr. Wells. His emotions were all over the place.
“He was in his second trimester. About four months.” Dr. Wells told him.
Tears fell down Tyler’s cheeks. He was in complete and utter shock as he sat there trying to let the words of the doctor sink in. His lips opened to ask questions but no sound came out.
Dr. Wells walked closer to Tyler, “We had
to sedate him,” he explained sadly. “He woke up and became inconsolable once he found out that he lost the baby.”
Tyler wanted to break down, he wanted to scream and rail at the world. “Will he be ok?” he asked, finally able to speak. “Did they find the person driving the other car that hit him?” He did not hide his anger.
“I believe he will be ok. Mentally and emotionally, it will take some time for him to accept what happened. Which is understandable. Be patient with him, Mr. Hamilton. And as far as I know they couldn’t find the driver or the car, but you should be able to speak with the sheriff or one of his officers in the morning.”
Tyler nodded his head, wiping away the tears from his face. “Will he be able to…”
“If you’re asking if he will have children again.” Tyler nodded his head yes. “He’s young and will be able to have more children. But I suggest not right away. He will need to heal mentally and physically first.”
Tyler understood that completely. He was not thinking of having more children right away. Tyler might have asked the question, but emotionally he was not ready to have another child. The thought of having another while they were still grieving for the first was unthinkable. There were things that he and Ethan needed to work out before they got that far into their relationship.
“Were there any other injuries?”
The doctor shook his head no. “He will be sore for a few weeks, but he should be fine.”
Tyler looked at Dr. Wells and saw that the man wanted to ask him something.
“Whatever you want to ask, Dr. Wells, ask it.”
“It’s not really a matter of a question but an observation. It appears that you care about Mr. Beaumont a lot, if I am assuming correctly, I would say you are lovers and the baby was yours.” Tyler nodded his head yes.
Loving You: Mpreg Romance (My One-Night Stand Series Book 2) Page 13