Dear Maddie, My counselor says that each day is a new beginning. I try to understand that and have come to realize that my battle with alcohol will always be present in my life. Something I must come to grips with and something that I will always have to be careful with. He talked about how we can become a new person though, not always identified by our drunken past even though we will always be an alcoholic.
It made me think of the sea glass we used to find on the beach. Do you remember those days when I’d take you and your momma for a picnic? We would sit on a blanket, eat your momma’s good cooking, and then hunt for sea glass. Those colorful shards of glass would fill up jars and you would set them on your windowsill. You always said you liked to see the sunlight come through the glass and watch the colors dance.
I talked to your momma yesterday and she still says that it’s too soon for you to come back. I miss you something fierce and wish we were together again. But, this is a penance I have to pay. I’ll stay sober so she’ll bring you back and we can be a family again.
Your dad
Heaving a great sigh, she leaned her head back, the full realization that her mother had not been entirely truthful with her finally sinking in. Wondering what else there was to learn about both her parents settled heavy in her heart.
16
“This really is most inconvenient and, quite frankly, borders on inconsiderate. Not at all like you.”
Silently counting to ten, Madelyn replied, “I’ve been a model employee, never taking a day off in over two years. I’m dealing with grief as well as trying to settle an estate. I do not think it is inconsiderate to ask for time off work to do that.”
“Well, perhaps inconsiderate was not the right word, but surely you can understand how difficult it is to shift your clients around?”
“Probably no more difficult than when Susan had three months of maternity leave last year and I covered for her. Or when Stan had surgery and I covered for him for two months. Or when—”
“Yes, yes, I get it. You have certainly covered for some of the other counselors, but our policy is that bereavement leave is for three days only.”
“Then show me someone who can travel, plan a funeral, and settle an estate in only three days!”
Silence greeted her, only serving to ratchet up her anger.
“How much longer do you think you’ll need.”
Closing her eyes in fatigue, she replied, “I need two more weeks to make sure everything is accomplished. I have that much time in saved leave, which I will take all at once.”
“I don’t like this, but I’ll grant it. Just remember, when you come back, you’ll be maxed out on all leave so don’t come crying to me if you need a break.”
“Julius, your compassion is overwhelming,” she bit out, no longer hiding her sarcastic tone.
“I know,” he replied seriously, “it’s one of my best qualities.”
Disconnecting as soon as she realized he did not even get her sarcasm, she tossed her phone to the counter.
Rubbing her forehead, she groaned as her phone vibrated an incoming call. Mom. Nope…not even going there. Refusing the call, she left it on the counter, deciding to get ready for the picnic with Zac. Hoping one good thing could be salvaged from the day, she headed up the stairs.
“You look gorgeous,” Zac said, planting a kiss on her lips.
Grinning in response, she twirled in her sundress on the front porch and, tossing her hands out to the sides, asked, “Is this okay for the picnic?”
“Hmmm,” he pretended to ponder. “It might be too good. Perhaps we should skip the picnic and just hang out here, all alone.” Growling, he swooped in, lifting her hair to nibble her neck.
“Oh, no,” she protested. “I’ve been dying to get out of the house all day.”
With a faked put-out sigh, undermined by the smile on his face, he assisted her into his truck, admiring her bare legs in the dress. Adjusting himself, he climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine. As they rumbled down the road, she asked, “Who’s gonna be at the picnic? Anyone I know?”
Laughing, he said, “Babe, this is Baytown. Everyone knows everyone around here.” Seeing her smooth her palms over her skirt, he recognized nerves. “I’m sorry,” he assured, “there will be lots of people you know. It’s the health and safety members and that includes the police, the fire, and the rescue. And, since it also includes the volunteers, you’ll know a ton of people.”
“I wondered why Jillian said she would see me there, but Grant is a policeman, isn’t he?”
“Yep. So are Ginny, Lance, and Mitch. All of the MacFarlanes are volunteer firefighters, as well as the Evans. You’ll also get to meet a lot of other townspeople there.”
He noticed she remained quiet and he shot a glance over to her as she stared out the window. Reaching across the console he asked, “What is it, Maddie?”
“It’s just that I enjoy meeting your friends and, well, some are becoming friends of mine also. Then I almost forget that I’m going to be leaving soon.”
The silence stretched between them, before he asked softly, “Do you know when you will leave?”
Shaking her head, she looked over at him. “No. I called my supervisor this morning.”
“From your tone of voice, I take it that didn’t go well.”
“No. But I did get two more weeks off.”
Her answer caused him to squeeze her fingers in support.
“But there’re things that I’m finding out about my dad that make all this so difficult. Things that don’t make any sense. I just…”
The truck turned down a lane heading toward the state park and she stopped talking at the sight of so many people.
“I didn’t mean for you to stop talking,” he said, cutting the engine off before turning to her.
She smiled but her lips barely curved. “Oh, it’s fine. Let’s go have fun.”
He battled the desire to head back home and keep her in bed until she felt safe enough to talk to him, but he knew he was expected at the event. She had her hand on the door, but he held her back. “Wait for me, sweetheart.”
He walked around, assisted her down and, slinging his hand over her shoulders, pulled her in with a kiss to the top of her head before they walked into the midst of the picnic.
Overwhelmed as Zac introduced her to first this person then that, Madelyn’s head swam with the people she met. Barely able to remember anyone’s name, she was glad to finally sit at a table with some people she knew.
Ginny and Katelyn were across from her and she breathed an audible sigh of relief. Ginny asked, “Too many people?”
“I can’t believe how Zac seems to know the whole town.”
Laughing, Ginny replied, “It took me a while when I first started working as a police officer, but I soon found that it was nice to get to know names, or at least recognize faces.”
A pretty brunette sat with them and glanced her way. “My husband, Greg, is the new Fire Chief at Easton. I’m Tabby.”
Barely having a chance to greet her, another woman sat on the other side of Tabby and introduced herself as well. “Ellie,” she said, in a clipped voice. “Husband’s Terry. Chief in Mooretown.”
“I’m Nola. My fiancé’s the Chief in Cherrytown. ‘Course it’s not very big…sure as hell not as big as Baytown, but it’s got that big-ass campground so he’s always having to check on campfires.”
Ginny left the table to join the other police officers and Madelyn spied another table with Tori, Jillian, and Jillian’s mother, wishing she were with them. Smiling politely, she wondered how she could move without seeming obvious when another young woman plopped down next to her.
“Hi! I’m Sarah.” Sarah smiled widely and said, “I used to live in Baytown, but now live in the county. My boyfriend is over there. Tad Bunson. He’s one of the volunteers for the fire department and works for Zac. He’s hoping to get one of the paying jobs putting out fires sometime.”
“Hmph,” Ellie grous
ed. “Not many of those to go around.”
Sarah bobbed her head in agreement, but continued, “He follows all the news. Says the budget may allow for more jobs in Baytown.” She shrugged as she looked around, “He’s always looking to move up.”
“Long hours…not much pay…hard work. Does he have a clue what he’d be getting into?” Ellie snapped back, tucking her slightly grey hair behind her ear.
“Maybe with all the news about the arsonist they’ll get more money for firefighters,” Nola offered.
Ellie grumbled again, her scowl firmly in place.
Madelyn watched the exchange between the women silently, finding the enthusiasm of the naïve young woman compared to the experience of the older one to be fascinating.
“I hear they’re going to send some experts to try to find out who the Ghost Arsonist is,” Sarah said, her eyes bright. “Isn’t it exciting to think how our little area is becoming famous.”
Tabby snapped, “That is not the kind of press we want to get. I want that maniac found and gotten rid of. I’m tired of Greg getting called out for the acts of a nutcase.”
“Hmph,” Ellie grunted, once more.
Katelyn kicked Madelyn under the table and jerked her head to the side. “Ready to get some food?”
She was grateful for the chance to escape the table of arguing women. Standing, she nodded her goodbye while accepting Katelyn’s linked arm through hers.
“Sorry,” Katelyn said. “I could tell the women were overwhelming you.” She jerked her chin toward a group huddled to the side. “While Zac and the others need to just enjoy the picnic, I’m afraid the case has gotten the whole area in an uproar. And while the firefighters and volunteers are off discussing fun things, some of the significant others like to talk it to death!”
“It appears Ellie gets irritated with Sarah’s enthusiasm,” she said.
“Ellie’s been around a long time so she knows the score. She’s tired of the low budgets and gets frustrated. Some of the newer volunteers really get into the excitement. Hell, in Sarah’s case, she’s not a volunteer but she still gets stoked about what Tad’s doing.”
Steering her to another group, Katelyn and Madelyn greeted Tori, Jillian, and Nancy. Glad to be with familiar faces, their conversations stayed away from the arsonist.
“So, are you still working with David?” Jillian asked.
Biting her bottom lip, she hesitated. “Would you think I was crazy if I said I asked him to take a break?” Seeing the others’ surprised expressions, she added, “It’s just that when I came here, I wanted to get rid of it all immediately and go back home, totally unencumbered with my dad’s possessions.”
“And now?” Tori asked, smiling up at Mitch as he walked over with a plate full of hotdogs, chips, and potato salad. “Thank goodness! This baby is kicking something fierce, he or she wants food!”
Mitch chuckled as he placed the plate on the table and put a hand to Tori’s pregnant belly. Her heart warming at the sweet scene, Madelyn startled when Zac’s arm came over her shoulder, presenting her with a similar plate. She twisted her head around to smile at him before turning back to answer Tori. “Now, I find that there might be more to my dad than I assumed and I’d like to take the time to go through his things more thoroughly.”
Nancy nodded her agreement and said, “I think that’s a wise decision, Madelyn. Life rarely fits into the neat boxes we like to put it in.”
Wondering about her cryptic remark, her attention was diverted as Zac returned with his own platter, bumping her hip as he sat next to her at the end of the table. Soon the gathering included most of the people she knew and, still trying to remember everyone’s names, she leaned against Zac’s arm.
Zac finished his food and, tossing his plate to the side, threw his arm around Madelyn’s shoulders, taking her weight as she ate slowly. Looking over, he caught Aiden’s grin before noting similar smiles on his other friends’ faces. The idea of their arrangement brought a new wave of wistfulness, finding he loved the way she fit next to him. Her beauty captured his attention, but what he felt was digging deeper than just a tryst with someone for a few weeks. Deciding to use the opportunity of having their friends around, and to take his mind off the woman in his arms, he announced, “Thought I’d let you all know that Baytown is getting state money for a Rescue Captain as well as a Fire Chief and I’ve decided to go for that position.” Immediately shock and congratulations abounded.
“It’s about time they divided the duties. If Mooretown can have both, I sure as hell never understood why Baytown didn’t,” Ginny said.
Nodding, he said, “I’ve been run ragged for the past couple of years and it just became official that we are getting the funding.”
“But why the rescue over the firefighting?” Tori asked.
Madelyn laid her hand on his leg, offering silent support as he grappled with his answer.
“I love both, but find that of the two, I prefer the rescue aspect. Right now, I’m in charge of both, training and scheduling, and realize it’s become my whole life.”
Jerking his head toward Madelyn, Aiden said to Zac, “And you deserve a life.”
Madelyn blushed and shifted away from Zac, but he was having none of it, his arm clamping her to his side once more. She lifted her eyes but found the others smiling at her. They seemed to have no problem with she and Zac together, but her heart clenched at the thought that their relationship was on a deadline. We only have until I leave. What had seemed like such a good idea, now sat like a stone in her stomach as she lay her unfinished plate to the side.
Tad walked over, his smile wide as his eyes sought out Zac. “I just heard you’ve put in the application for the Rescue Captain? Got any ideas for the Fire Chief position?”
Zac looked up at the wide-eyed, eager young man. “You interested?”
“Hell, yeah!”
“Come in tomorrow and we’ll talk about the position. There’s a lot you need to know before you decide to apply.”
“Absolutely,” Tad enthused. Grabbing Sarah’s hand, he moved back to some of the others.
“Oh, the enthusiasm of youth,” Katelyn quipped, bringing on laughter from the group.
17
Sex for clearing the mind was not a bad thing, Madelyn thought as she lay breathless underneath Zac’s body, their sweat mingling and their heartbeats pounding in unison. They had barely made it back from the picnic before jumping each other, having left early so they had time before his shift started.
Now, warm and sated, she ran her fingers through his hair as his breath tickled her neck.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, rolling to the side.
“Sorry?” she teased.
“Sorry for squishing you…not sorry for fucking you.” As soon as the words fell from his mouth, Zac winced at their sound. What they had done was not fucking to him, but something more. Lifting his head, he observed the sadness in her eyes, but did not know what to say. Is she sad about my callous word or is there something else going on? Suddenly ashamed, he blurted, “I didn’t mean fucking…like just fucking. You know, like there was nothing else there.”
She watched the blush rise over his cheeks and lifted her hand to cup his jaw. “It’s okay, Zac. I don’t want you to sugarcoat what we have.”
Afraid to ask if her feelings ran deeper than friendship, he nodded, laying his head next to hers again, his hand drifting over her smooth skin. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Can you tell me what’s going on with your dad’s things? I mean, I’m thrilled that you’re taking your time, but I get the feeling that there’s stuff you are discovering and I’d like to know what’s on your mind.”
He watched indecision wrinkle her brow and reached over to smooth the crease. “After all, we’re friends, right?”
“I know…it’s just that my mom always taught me to not talk about our family problems. You know the old saying, ‘don’t air your dirty laundry’?”
; “But you’re a counselor. You know the value of talking about problems.”
“You’re right. A good friend can be a great resource.” Seeing him lift his eyebrow, she chuckled. “Okay, maybe this is a case of the counselor not following her own advice.”
Zac shifted on the bed, leaning against the pillows piled on the headboard and pulled her up with him. Tucking the sheet around her body, both to keep her warm and to keep his mind from wandering over her perfect curves, he said, “Okay…let me have it.”
Blowing out a deep breath, Madelyn twisted her body to face his and pronounced, “My dad was an alcoholic.” She waited, her stomach in knots, to see his reaction.
His eyes softened. “I’m so sorry, Maddie. Really, so sorry.”
She said nothing, unsure how to proceed. Hating the exposure, she forced herself to continue to meet his gaze. His hand met hers on top of the covers and he linked fingers, giving her strength.
“I suppose I should just start at the beginning,” she said, grateful when he nodded his encouragement. “My memories of my childhood are of a happy family, a dad who would take me to flea markets, yard sales, and antique stores. We had picnics on the beach and watched the sunset. It was just the three of us, but I was happy…I assumed they were too.”
Looking down at their clasped hands, she continued, “It wasn’t until I was older that I noticed the constant beer bottles around the house…the way Mom would get angry and they would fight…the times he was stumbling and she’d have to help him upstairs to bed.”
Sighing, heavily, she said, “And then it really got worse when he lost his job. I thought he was just let go because of the poor business but I heard them yelling at night and Mom said it was because he had gone to work…drunk.”
Zac watched her struggle with the words and, while he wanted her to tell her story, he knew he needed to alleviate her fear. “Babe, I’ve got to tell you something before you go on. Something that I don’t talk about a lot, mostly because everyone around knows.” He saw the crease in her brow return and he leaned forward to kiss it away. With his lips still against her forehead, he whispered, “My dad was an alcoholic also.”
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