by Sable Hunter
“Yea, you need to.” She got Nita from her car seat. “We’ll be fine. I’m going to take care of everything.”
Benjen frowned a bit. Apple sounded funny. He grabbed her suitcase from the back seat and followed her inside. She went straight to Nita’s room and laid her down. “She’s worn out. I bet we’ll have to wake her up for supper.”
“Maybe.” He stepped into their room and placed the case on the bed. “Is something wrong?”
Apple didn’t say anything at first, she just stared at the floor. Finally, she spoke softly, “I think I should be the one who gives Nita her bone marrow transplant.”
“What? No!” Benjen’s reaction was emphatic and instantaneous.
“Yes, I am,” Apple’s response was calm and even. “I was a match for Alan’s kidney transplant. I gave him bone marrow when he needed it. I’ll be a match for Nita also. She’s his child.”
“Alan!” He spat the name out. “Fuck, Alan!”
Apple blanched. “You don’t want me to help Nita because you hate Alan!”
“Nonsense. Why would you think you’d be a match anyway? Dr. Dolman didn’t say it had anything to do with blood type. You have to have HLA markers in common.”
“I have to try.”
“No! I’m putting my foot down.” Benjen sliced his hand through the air. “I don’t want you to do this. You’re in no condition for extra stress and strain. Do you want to endanger our baby?”
This suggestion seemed to make her angry. “Of course not. But, Nita…”
“No buts.” He folded his arms over his chest. “End of discussion.”
“You’re so bull-headed!” She fumed.
“We were just married yesterday!”
“So?” She raised her chin. “We were married yesterday and we’re having our first fight today!”
“I’m not fighting. I’m being reasonable!”
“Ha! You are not! I have a solution and you don’t agree.”
He raised a hand, raising one finger for every point. “You’re pregnant. You have Asherman’s. And you have one kidney!”
She raised her hand and followed his lead. “I’m young. I’m strong. And I may be a match!”
“Doesn’t matter. The answer is no.”
“You can’t tell me no! You’re not the boss of me!”
“You wanna bet?”
“Oooooo!” Apple squealed in frustration and stomped her foot. “This is my body and I’ll do what I think is best!”
“Oh, really?” Benjen drew still and quiet. “What about those vows you took yesterday. You gave yourself to me. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
When she didn’t answer, he threw one hand up in the air and stalked out.
Apple stood still, listening. When he didn’t come back, she walked to the window. When she saw him stalking off toward the barn, she tapped the glass – but he was too far away to hear her. “Well, I guess you’ll make a habit of this, Blackhawk. Walking away when you’re mad.” She turned around and sat on the bed, wondering how things could’ve gotten out of hand so fast.
“Was I wrong?” She mulled the notion. “No, I’m not wrong. A mother takes care of her children.” Just saying the words out loud made her pregnancy more real. She placed a hand over her tummy. “I love you completely, baby. I love Nita too. I can do this. I’m strong. I may not be a match, but I can’t rest until I find out. I promise I’m not trying to hurt you.” Apple hung her head. “This is so hard.”
…Outside, Benjen rode hard. He gave Zeus free rein and they ran like the wind. His heart was hurting so bad, he thought he might die. What was Apple thinking? Why couldn’t she understand how much he loved her? What she was proposing was just too dangerous. Too risky. If anything happened to her or his baby…
Closing his eyes, he let the horse carry him where he willed.
God, he hated they fought.
A smiled played on his lips. “She was a little hellcat,” he said to himself as he rubbed his chest, trying to ease the twinge of pain. “She meant no harm to me or to our baby. Apple just went all mama bear over Nita.” Benjen shook his head. “Why should I be surprised? She goes all mama bear over a stray dog.”
When he’d calmed enough to think straight, he knew where he belonged.
Benjen turned Zeus around and headed home.
…Upstairs, Apple tucked Nita in. She’d fed her, bathed her, played a few games, and read a few books. Now, the tiny girl was sleepy eyed and ready for bed.
“Stay wif me till I fall sleep?”
“Sure.” She pushed her hair over the baby’s damp forehead and kissed her brow tenderly. “I’ll sit right here.”
“Sing to me.”
Apple frowned. “I don’t have much of a voice.”
“I can hear you.”
She grinned at Nita’s logic. “Oh, okay.” She thought a few seconds and then began to sing a lullaby her mother used to sing, Hush Little Baby, Don’t Say A Word. The song rambled through several verses depicting how far a mother would go to give her child what she needed.
Apple knew the feeling.
Once Nita was asleep, she sat for a few more minutes watching her chest rise and fall – wondering why little innocents were called upon to suffer.
“Hey.”
Looking up, she saw Benjen standing there looking grim.
“Hey.”
When he didn’t say anything else, Apple looked back down, certain he would walk away. What she didn’t expect was to be picked up and tossed over his shoulder. “Hey!”
“You’ve said that already.”
“Well, I’m saying it again! What are you doing?”
Benjen popped her on the butt. When she stiffened in his arms and began to wiggle, he popped her again. “Be still.”
“You put me down. If you think you’re going to get away with this just because you disagree with me – well, you’ve got another think coming!”
Pop!
Apple steeled herself not to moan. She couldn’t let him know she was sort of enjoying those spanks. “You walked away from me! Is this how it’s going to be? Every time we disagree are you going to leave? Do I have to worry that one day you won’t return?”
“Yea, sometimes I may walk away to cool down, to think, to…pout – whatever. But rest damned assure, little lady, I’m not going far and I will always, always come back to you.”
His words took her breath away, but she didn’t get time to respond. When he reached the bed, he unceremoniously plopped down and transferred her over his knee.
“Put me down!” she demanded.
“Nope!” He popped her again. And again.
And then she felt his face pressing against her back…and his body began to shake.
He was crying!
“Benjen?”
“God, I love you. What would I do if anything happened to you? Don’t you understand? You’re my world.”
Apple got to her feet and went to her knees in front of him, taking Benjen into her arms. “Hush.”
“You’re the air that I breathe, baby.”
She hugged him tight. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
“Please. Just give this a chance to work out. Don’t think about endangering yourself.” He knew her being a match wasn’t a sure thing – but he couldn’t even bear thinking about her going through the ordeal and agony of a bone marrow transplant. “You’re so precious to me. So precious.”
Apple captured his hands and brought them to her lips for a kiss. “Okay. I won’t. Not now. Just promise me this one thing.”
“What?”
“In my eyes, you can do anything.” Deep inside, Apple knew she was being unreasonable. Still, she couldn’t help telling him how she felt. “I have faith in you, cowboy. Fix this. Please?”
“You know I’d turn the world upside down for you if I could.”
“I know.” She kissed him again.
…That night, after they’d made love. Benjen stared up at the ceiling. Her request weig
hed heavily on his mind. He felt so inadequate. So desperate. Benjen felt the urgent need to form a roadblock on the highway and stop everyone who went by to ask for help. Checking the clock, he saw it was after midnight. “Hell.” He rolled out of bed and padded over to his desk to turn on his laptop. Glancing back at Apple, he made sure she was asleep. To keep from waking her up, he angled the monitor screen away from her. Opening his email, he messaged Alivia Abbott.
I know you’re asleep, but I’m worried. We went to see Dr. Dolman today and he told us there was no ready match on the bone marrow donor’s register. He said not to give up, that you’d be looking every place you could look. I don’t know if this is possible, but I want to help. Apple’s got it in her head to be tested. She was a match with her ex-husband and gave him a kidney when they were children. She thinks she could be a match to help Nita. I’d be all for that – but she’s under too much stress now with the pregnancy. I don’t know if she told you, but she has Asherman’s Syndrome. Her doctors had told her years ago that she couldn’t get pregnant. This baby – our baby – is a miracle. I’m at the point where I’m ready to run screaming down the street for someone to help. Is there any way I can help? Anything I can do? Once I told her to lean on me, that she could depend on me. Tonight, she asked me to fix this. I’ve got to try, but I need for you to tell me how.
After he hit send, he stared at the screen. Almost absentmindedly, he began surfing the web, reading articles on Asherman’s syndrome. The stories about women who were going through a pregnancy while suffering with the condition were heart-wrenching. How had he lived this long and missed knowing about Asherman’s. One post drew his attention.
Hi. I just wanted to tell you all what’s going on. I’ll be 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow. When I discovered I was going to have a baby I was terrified. The doctors told me I probably wouldn’t be able to carry the baby to term, BUT I PROVED THEM WRONG! Since my last doctor’s visit, I’ve been released from high risk care. The last ultrasound I had revealed the baby had pushed the bands out of the way. Isn’t that neat? One band has dissolved and another is only about the thickness of a pencil, but it’s far enough away from the baby that it shouldn’t be a problem. My baby girl is developing normally and on schedule. My next ultrasound will be in four weeks. Keep your fingers crossed for us! They told me we couldn’t do this, but me and my girl are proving them wrong!”
After reading the article, he felt better. “Well, that gives me hope.”
He was just about to check out some articles on Sickle Cell when there was a small beep on the computer. “I have an email.”
Turning back to the right page, he saw it was from Alivia.
“I’m up too. Researching for our Nita. Why don’t you come over? Saxon and I are night owls. We can work together.
The offer made him smile.
“Great. Thank you. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Not wanting Apple to worry, he kissed her on the cheek to wake her up. “Love?” As she rolled over to look at him, his heart almost stopped when he saw how sleepy and snuggly she looked. Grabbing his clothes, he pulled them on.
“Where you going?”
“Over to Hutto to be with Alivia and Saxon while they look for a match for Nita. I need to do something.”
She pulled him down for a kiss. “Be careful.”
“Always. I’ll be back before you wake up, beautiful.”
“Okay.” She rolled back over and promptly went back to sleep.
As Benjen headed out, he looked in on Nita to make sure was resting. “See you later, angel.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“So, how does this work?” Benjen sat between them as Alivia’s fingers flew over the keyboard.
“Well, it’s just a matter of going through data and setting parameters,” Saxon explained as Alivia scanned every line, chewing on her bottom lip as she worked.
“Right,” she muttered. “I’m concentrating on the countries with the highest likelihood of having matches.”
“What do you mean?” Benjen asked, intensely interested.
“Central America. Not so much Mexico. Some areas of South America. A little bit of Asia. Even portions out west here in the U.S.” All the time Alivia spoke, she kept her eyes on the screen.
“Why just those areas?” he asked, glancing around to see if Saavy was about.
“Shared background. Bloodlines. Ethnicity. Race. All those factors. The problem is – most of those places are where there is little to no participation.”
“So, even though Apple wanted to be tested, she probably wouldn’t be a match, would she?”
“Hmmm.” Apple shook her head, still completely focused. “Probably not.”
“Where’s Savvy?” Benjen looked over his shoulder, halfway expecting her to sneak up on him.
“Oh, she’s asleep,” Saxon answered offhandedly.
Benjen’s eyebrows flew up. “She sleeps?”
Alivia grunted a laugh. “She’s plugged in and charging up so she can continue her plan of world domination tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Benjen didn’t doubt it. “Tell me more about what you’re looking for.” He wished he could help so much more.
“Well, I’m branching out. People in Honduras have a mixed ethnicity. We tend to think of them as Hispanics, but they aren’t. About ninety percent of the population is Mestizos, which is basically European mixed with American Indian. There are some pureblood Amerindians, about six percent, and probably three percent or so Afro-Hondurans. Nita most likely has a little Afro-Honduran somewhere, hence the sickle-cell. Unfortunately, her markers show more Mestizos influence than anything…and that’s what we’re lack…” Alivia stopped and turned to him. “What are you?”
“Uh…what do you mean?”
“Well, I know your last name is Blackhawk, but I hate to assume. You look pretty neutral – you know Hispanic, Italian, American Indian…” She drew out the last word, waiting for an answer.
“Apache, actually.” When he saw her grin, it finally hit him. “You think I should get tested.”
“I do. If you just had four or five markers, I’m sure Dr. Dolman could use you. He might even decide to do a peripheral blood stem cell transplant instead of bone marrow.”
Benjen’s head was swimming. “I don’t understand half of what you’re saying – but did I hear you right? I could have some markers in my cells that could qualify me as a donor.”
“There’s a better chance for you than anyone else I know at the moment, yes. You have some white in you, don’t you?”
“My mom.”
She lifted her shoulders. “So, Nita is half white too. I tell you, there’s a good chance you have some compatibility.”
Benjen grabbed Alivia’s shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. Before Saxon could protest, he grabbed him and kissed him too.
“Hey!”
“Keep your fingers crossed.” He rose and jammed his hat down on his head. “I’m heading to the hospital to get tested. If they’re not open, I’ll wait.” Heading out the door, he pointed a warning finger to Alivia. “Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want word getting back to Apple. Pray this works and I’ll give her the surprise of her life.”
Alivia smiled and zipped her lips closed.
… Benjen rolled his sleeve down and snapped it closed. “How long before I know?”
A middle-aged nurse with salt and pepper hair checked her chart. “This is Dr. Dolman’s case. Directions are ‘double rush’.” She gave him a playful wink. “So…tomorrow, I’m thinking. We’ll call him and he’ll call you.”
“Okay. Make sure you use my cell. I’m trying not to get my wife’s hopes up without cause.”
The nurse nodded sympathetically. “I understand.”
On the way out, Benjen shivered. Needles had never been his favorite thing. Although…thinking of what little Nita had endured, he felt ashamed. “I’ll do whatever it takes, baby-cakes.”
While walking to his truck, he glanced at the s
ky. The sun was coming up over the distant hills. He felt proud of himself for charming the nurse into taking his blood. The lab didn’t open until eight and he wanted to be home before his girls woke up.
He’d no more than crawled into his truck than the phone rang.
Apple. “Hey, baby. What’s up?”
“Where are you?”
“On the way home. Do you remember me telling you I was headed to Alivia’s to help with the donor search?”
“I forgot.”
There was a tinge of panic in her voice. “What’s wrong?”
“Nita is in a lot of pain. I think she’s having one of those crisis attacks.”
“Okay. I’m less than a half hour away. Did you call 9-1-1?”
“I gave her the medicines prescribed by Dr. Dolman. I think she’s going to be okay. I just want you to come home.”
He could hear the tears and panic in her voice. “I’ll be there before you know it.”
…Apple hung up the phone and stared at Nita. The pain meds had kicked in and quieted her whimpers. Still, it killed her to know she was hurting and there was so little she could do for her.
“Here, Apple. I brought you some coffee.”
“Thanks, Sam.” She nodded toward the rocking chair. “Sit with us.”
“Did you get in touch with Benjen?”
“I did. He’s almost here.”
“Did he say they found anything?”
“No, but…I didn’t ask.” She glanced at Nita. “I was too upset.”
“I understand. Are you up for visitors?”
She was about to say no when she heard a whimper in the hall. “Oh, my pups. Let me go to them.”
“I made them stay in the hall. They were sitting down at the foot of the stairs having conniption fits.”
“Oh, poor things.” When she moved into their view, they just melted into puddles of puppy goo. Apple knelt down and hugged and kissed all three of them.
“Now, those are some spoiled mutts.” Sam came up behind her.
“Yea, I love to spoil everything I have,” she said with amused affection in her voice.