by Ann Grech
“I could eat a horse; I’m so darn hungry,” he murmured after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“I’ll get the room service menu while you start the tub. Last time I exercised I couldn’t move for days. I’m guessing that after your race today you could do with a soak.”
“Concerned for my welfare, angel?”
“Of course,” she replied quietly, cupping his face with her hand before kissing him softly. “It’s nice being able to care for someone else, to explore my better side. I don’t have anyone I can do that with in Chicago.”
“Tell me about yourself.”
“Dinner first. Pick something, or I can ask them to put together a meal for you. I’m sure they won’t mind if I ask nicely.”
Cassie put the order in, and a few minutes later, they were lying back in the filling tub, the oils Jos had found in the bathroom perfuming the water.
“Where’d you grow up?”
“A little town a coupl’a hours outside of Phoenix. Pop ran the local newspaper and Mom looked after my little brother and me. We moved into town after Pop got injured and couldn’t really help out on the ranch anymore. You?”
“Trailer park in Oklahoma. My bro and I got into billy cart racing as kids. Then I was in the right place at the right time and I got a chance to race in cars with an engine. I worked my way to the pro circuit from there. Joey was my chief mechanic up until last year when his baby girl was born. He didn’t want to travel as much, so he stepped down.”
They talked until the water in the tub had cooled. Jos washed every inch of Cassie, including her hair, all the while dropping soft kisses on her temple or cheek. When the knock at the door came, Jos wrapped the terry towelling robe around himself and answered it while Cassie dried off. All the while, she lamented the fact her flight was leaving in a few hours and her time with Jos was limited.
Jos knew Cassie had to leave in a few hours and he was determined to make the most of their time together. Jos set up their dinner on the king-sized bed. He had every intention of feeding every morsel to Cassie. He didn’t get to show his tender side to too many people either, and he really wanted to do that with Cassie. The crawfish, ribs, fries, and slaw were messy and probably shouldn’t have been eaten on the crisp white sheets of the bed, but where would the fun in that be? Cassie repaid the favour, feeding Jos too, and they spent the entire time laughing at stories they told each other. Darn, it was nice having someone Jos could just have fun with, with no pretences about what she might expect afterwards.
Cassie hadn’t eaten such great food in what felt like forever; Chicago was known for having some great restaurants, but how could someone who moonlighted as a waitress until a year ago just to make rent, afford eating at them? Life as a junior reporter sucked sometimes and tomorrow promised to be one of the worst days in her career for that. At least tonight Cassie had Jos’ company. It was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.
When their dishes were cleared, Jos dimmed the lights and laid back down on the bed. It was getting late and he was bone tired, but he didn’t want to sleep. No, now he wanted dessert, that sweet nectar that he’d sampled before. Pushing Cassie onto her back, he kissed down her body and wrapped her now naked legs around his shoulders.
C H A P T E R F O U R
“I’m sorry, Cassie, I know you worked hard on this story, but you failed to pull it off. Spectacularly failed. The allegations made against Senator Ginty have opened this network up to a massive libel case. You promised you had the evidence to back up the claims and you failed to deliver. Now we’re facing a lawsuit from Senator Ginty and the documents that you finally managed to get your source to hand over don’t reflect any impropriety. There is no evidence of misappropriation in those campaign funds.”
“They aren’t the same records Fiona Lewis showed me. They’ve been doctored. Someone got to her between our meeting the day before yesterday and going on air yesterday. I can still fix this. Please give me another chance to prove that I was right. He’s pushing so hard for a reason, and it has nothing to do with trying to protect his reputation because he’s an upstanding citizen.”
“That’s not possible, Cassie. Clear out your desk. I’ll have your final check available by the end of the day.”
“What are you saying? I’m fired? Because of one mistake?”
“Unfortunately, yes. I like you, Cassie. You had a lot of promise, but it’s out of my hands. The network chiefs demanded your immediate dismissal. It was your responsibility to protect your source. You shouldn’t have let her out of your sight.”
“I didn’t. We were together the whole time except when she had to take an urgent call. That’s the only time he could have gotten to her. I went into the other room to give her some privacy.”
“These new financial records are the nail in the coffin. Ginty’s accountant has confirmed that they’re correct. You and I both know that’s a load of trash, but like I said, it’s out of my hands.”
Cassie’s shoulders slumped. She should never have gotten out of bed this morning. She should have stayed curled up in the sanctuary of Jos’ arms, warm in their passionate cocoon that they’d woven last night. Now, unless he called her, she might never see him again. She didn’t know what was worse, losing the job of her dreams or the man she’d only just found.
“Bobby, where are we at?” Jos asked his agent.
“It’s not great, Jos. That asshole, Allbright, is making some serious waves in NASCAR and management are actually listening to him. The fight was caught on camera, but he’s alleging you said something that provoked him. They aren’t happy that you reacted, and especially not happy you smashed his nose. I can’t believe your pit crew didn’t jump in before they did. What were they doing?”
“Getting the car up on the racks. They were doing their jobs.”
“Look, the best case we can hope for is a fine. It’s likely to be up around $50K. Worst case, you’ll get suspended. But that may not matter too much. Allbright’s lawyer contacted me this morning. He’s told me to expect some paperwork concerning you. He wouldn’t give me any more details though. They’re trying to scare you.”
“I have a contract goddamnit. And he threw the first punch. Does that mean nothing to anyone except me?” Jos pounded his fist on the countertop of his trailer. Today was turning out to be a terrible day. He should have stayed in bed. He should never have fallen asleep. Maybe, just maybe, if he hadn’t, he could have talked Cassie into staying. He’d tried last night, but even in the midst of passion, she’d refused him. Jos knew she needed to sort out her career, too. But he couldn’t deny it was hard giving her up, especially because she’d wanted to stay. Well, at least he’d thought that. She hadn’t even left her number, so the point was moot. It was probably for the best anyway. At least that’s what he’d told himself. After all, how could anything more than a one-night stand work between them? He was on the road for most of the year, living out of his trailer. That was no way to be in a relationship, especially with someone like Cassie; she was too good for trailer trash like him. Cassie’s comment that she wasn’t looking for anyone came back to haunt him now. He’d gotten lucky that both of them felt that spark and needed comfort last night. He showered her with all the affection he could until she planted a soft kiss on his temple and said a whispered goodbye to him as the Florida sun was beginning to rise. Jos only realised her goodbye wasn’t a dream and she was gone out of his life when he woke a few hours later. The silence in her hotel room was deafening. It was made all the worse when Jos realised he had no way of contacting her. After all they’d shared last night, he didn’t even get her last name.
Bobby’s continuation of their conversation pulled Jos back into the present. “Listen, we don’t know anything yet. NASCAR may only impose a fine rather than a suspension, and you may just get a warning from Allbright. They may suspend you for a while, but we’ll deal with whatever they throw at you.” Bobby didn’t sound overly confident. He sounded as confident
as Jos felt.
“Yeah, okay. Keep me informed. And, Bobby?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks. For everything.”
Hanging up, Jos slumped behind the little bench seat at his dining table and put his head in his hands. What was he going to do? His dream of driving in the Sprint Cup was fast disappearing. He felt like he was barrelling toward a fiery crash on the track at full speed that he had no chance of avoiding– thick smoke, fire spewing from engines, car body parts strewn across the expanse of asphalt while he was pinned in by other drivers, leaving him no choice but to go forward into the smoke haze and away from any semblance of control. That sort of crash was painful, if it didn’t kill him.
Cassie carried her small box of belongings from her desk through the front doors of the building she used to work in. The world sat heavy on her shoulders. Her mom told her to come home for a holiday. Her pop said he’d call the family lawyer to see if he could get her job back. Cassie’s brother offered her a job managing the books for her uncle’s ranch. She didn’t want to entertain that possibility, but the longer she went without a job, the more likely she would have to take it.
Picking up a takeaway dinner, Cassie started the long process of job applications. She didn’t even know where to start. The disaster that was her most recent story hindered her already limited chances of getting a job. If anything came up, no matter where in the country it was, she’d have to take it. She just hoped she’d be able to get something before she was flat broke. Looking at her measly bank account, she estimated that would be in a grand total of three weeks’ time. She was doomed. It was time to call on a favour before she got to that point. She needed to call Becky, her old boss, the woman who saved her skin by giving her a job when she got to Chicago.
“What can I do for ya’, honey?” Becky asked in her husky, smoker’s voice.
“I’m in a pickle. Wonderin’ if you need some extra help around the diner, even just for a lil’ bit.”
“Sure, honey, I could always do with help, you know that. I need another girl on the morning shift for a few weeks while Penny’s visitin’ her grandbaby. Does that fit in with your work schedule?”
“Morning shift is great.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“Becky? Thank you.”
“Anytime, hon.”
At least she had something temporary. She’d be able to keep paying the rent and Becky gave all her staff a free meal during their shift so she’d eat one meal a day. That was better than what she had a few hours ago.
F O U R M O N T H S A F T E R J O S
“Hi Mom, I’m home,” Cassie called out as she caught the back door before it slammed shut.
“Hi baby, how was work at Uncle Wez’ today?”
“I’m finally gettin’ the feel of their accounts. At least they aren’t a pile of receipts in a box anymore.”
“That’s good. Your pops is about to start grillin’ some steaks. How do you want yours?”
“Actually, Mom, Billy asked me out on a date. He’s takin’ me to the steakhouse in town.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so happy for you. Billy’s a good boy. His mamma was tellin’ me how well he’s doin’ in their stock feed shop.”
“You think? He seems a little boring.”
“Give him a chance, honey. You’ve been home for three months now, and apart from Saturday brunch with the girls, you’ve been at home with your pops and me every night. Y’all go out and have fun.”
“I know, Mom, it’s just,” she hesitated, “no, never mind; it doesn’t matter.”
“Is this about the boy you won’t tell me anything about? The one who broke your heart?”
“He didn’t break my heart,” she lied. Her voice sounded hollow even to herself. In the last four months, she’d thought of nothing except Jos. Losing her job, losing her apartment when she ran out of cash, moving home and back into the single bed in the bedroom she grew up in had all upset her less than saying goodbye to the man who’d awoken her from a slumber she didn’t even know she was in. Now that she was awake, she wished she could be ignorant once more and the thing that hurt the most? He hadn’t contacted her after leaving her number. Sure, he’d asked her to stay, but that was just his cock talkin’. He’d only asked her during the many times he’d made love to her after he’d ‘eaten dessert’ as he put it. When push came to shove, he was happy with their one night in Daytona. She supposed she should be too; it was the most amazing sex she’d ever had. Leaving him, she knew that sex with another man would never stand up to sex with Jos. Not even close.
“But there was someone. When you’re ready to talk about him, I’m here. For now, go. Have fun. Billy’s a good boy. He might make you forget.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“So, now that I know all the stockfeed and which customers buy what, I can mostly serve them without Daddy being there. He’s sayin’ I’ll be managing the store in no time. It’s great. I feel like all the preparation Daddy made me do by going to community college and learning the trade through experience is paying off.”
“That’s nice, Billy. I’m happy for you.”
“You okay, Cassie? You’re awful quiet.” Yes, she thought. It was because Billy hadn’t stopped yapping about every kind of stockfeed in existence and which customers bought what. He was as dull as ditch water. She should have stuck with her book. She could have been at home curled up in her comfy Snuggie on the window seat in her bedroom. Gosh, that was depressing. It was seven thirty on Thursday night and she was more interested in her latest book boyfriend than the real life possibility sitting in front of her. Then again, there was no hope for the prospect sitting opposite her. Not only did he not stir any interest in her, but she just couldn’t face the thought of getting intimate with anyone. Not so soon after Jos. She wasn’t ready for that yet. And didn’t that rankle her, being stuck on a man who didn’t return her affections.
“I’m a bit tired. I had a big day at my uncle’s getting his paperwork organised. Do you mind if we call it a night?”
“Oh, okay. Raincheck?”
She didn’t want to hurt him, but Billy just wasn’t the man for her. She couldn’t lead him on. “I like you, Billy, but only as a friend.”
“Sure, I get it. I’ll take you home.”
They rode most of the way to her folks’ house in silence. She knew she’d hurt his feelings, but what was she supposed to do? It would be worse to go out with him again and let him think he had a chance at something more serious with her. He was a forever kinda guy, but there was no chance that he was for her.
“You’re back early, pumpkin. I take it your date with Billy didn’t go so well.”
“No, Pop, he’s not my type. He’s nice and all but...no.”
“I could have told you that. He’s a mamma’s boy, not a manly man. You need someone with a backbone, someone who has enough passion to match yours.”
“Thanks, Pops,” she sniffed, fighting back the tears.
“Let it out, pumpkin,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Cassie. Being in her pop’s embrace, Cassie felt like she was once again the little girl who cried every night when she got home from school. She’d had a rough childhood, being the object of incessant teasing and bullying. The tears flowed freely as she realised the depth of her feelings for Jos meant they weren’t going to disappear any time soon. Cassie wanted to be happy. She wanted to share the love she had bottled up that only one person had found the key to. But Jos didn’t feel the same way. She was angry and hurt, disappointed that she couldn’t just feel what their tryst had been for him – a way to blow off steam after a stressful day. They’d both needed the human connection that night, to feel the warmth and comfort that only being intimate on that level could bring. Jos had chased her demons away, making her forget the crushing defeat that losing the story had brought upon her, but she came crashing back to reality in the days and weeks that followed. At first, she thought he was abiding by the three-day rule, the ridiculous notion
that a guy would sound too needy if he contacted their date before three days were up. She soon realised her feelings were one-sided and he wasn’t going to call her.
Cassie wiped the tears falling down her face with the tissue her pops passed her, but didn’t let him go.
“Pumpkin, you want to talk about it?”
“His name is Jos. We met in Florida when I did that horrible story. I thought I had a connection with him. You know? Something real. But apparently not. He never called me, never emailed me. Nothing. And I’m so stupid, I’m not over him. He’s trampled all over my heart and I can’t forget him. I was with Billy tonight and I was wondering what Jos was doin’. Whether he was out on a shitty date, thinking about me or whether he’d moved on.”
“Oh, Cassie, believe me, if he’s forgotten you, if he’s over you, he’s not your man. I know it hurts and it doesn’t help me telling you this, but the man that falls in love with you will never let you go, will never forget you. Even if he spent only one night in your arms, which I don’t want to know about,” Cassie’s pops chuckled wryly, “he’d regret letting you walk away for the rest of his life if he didn’t try to stop you.”
“So what should I do? How do I get over him?”
“Move on with your life. You’ve been hiding here. Get back to journalism. It’s what you love. Don’t live in this Podunk town for the rest of your life. Don’t marry a boy like Billy. Don’t settle for second best. Get out there and live a little. Love will find you, and when it does, it will be beautiful. But until then, enjoy life; it’s the only one you’ve got.”
“Are you kicking me out?” Cassie smiled.
“If it means you’ll do what you love, yes.”
“Hard ass,” she said nestling back into the comfort of her pop’s arms.