by Destiny Webb
“Yeah, Dad, everything’s fine.” I coughed slightly.
“You sure? You’re not sick again are you?” The concern in his voice was false.
“Yeah, Dad. Sarah was just using the bathroom in our room. Can you go away now?”
“Uhh,” he sounded unsure. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
We stayed still until we heard the creak in the floor again signaling that he was making his way back to his room.
“We should go to bed,” Sean said remorsefully.
“Yeah, I guess we should. There is always tomorrow.” I smiled up at him.
“That there is,” he smiled back, putting his hand on my cheek, rubbing it lightly with his thumb. He slid me forward off the counter with his other hand so that I was standing in front of him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I looked up at him.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, looking back at me. I looked down slightly, feeling my cheeks turn red. He put his hand underneath my chin and tilted it up so I was looking at him.
“You’re blushing.” He leaned down and kissed my cheeks.
“You tend to have that effect on me,” I murmured softly, leaning up to him to kiss him tenderly. He kissed back, holding me delicately.
“Sweet dreams Samantha,” he said, pulling away from me regretfully. His voice was so tender, so soft. It made everything right. He slid out the door quietly and I turned out the light, waiting a short minute before heading back to my room. I stopped by his door and smiled to myself, happiness seeping into me down to my bones. I walked the rest of the way slowly, trying to compose myself before getting to my room in case Cassie was there.
When I entered the room, I shut the door behind me gently, looking around the room to see if Cassie was there. She was nowhere to be seen, but I checked the bathroom before I let my guard down and turned to Sarah, who was now looking at a different magazine just as apathetically.
“Did you find it?” she asked.
“Find what?”
“Your book. That is what you went to look for, right?”
“Right. No, I didn’t find it,” I said slowly, remembering my earlier, forgotten mission. I just stood there looking at her until she realized there was something different in the way that I said that. I probably looked crazy. My hair was all disheveled and my eyes felt like they were hectic looking.
“What?” she asked me cautiously.
“You are never going to believe what just happened.”
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning, I woke up feeling great. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. There was only one downside…I had to tell Lance that things wouldn’t work out between us. Not that it was really a “thing,” just a few dates. I did owe him some explanation though.
I picked up my phone to give Lance a call, but he had beaten me to the punch.
Hey—thought maybe you’d wanna hang out or something this afternoon. Let me know.
–Lance.
Knowing what I was about to do to him, I sighed and clicked “reply.” After I shared last night’s events, Sarah agreed I needed to end this thing with Lance. I knew she was right. Feeling guilty, I glanced over at Lance’s jacket, but my heart was light and soaring. I felt so disbelieving about it all, but I still felt hope.
You want to meet me at the dock in like an hour? – Sam
He said okay and I went to take a shower and get ready. Forty-five minutes later, I was on the quad, sweatshirt in tow, headed down to the dock. I tried to keep my mind focused on what I was going to say and how I was going to break the news.
Lance was leaning against his quad; he smiled when he saw me. I made an effort to smile back as I got off the quad and made my way over to him, his jacket neatly folded in my arms. His smile faded slightly when he saw it. I took the last few steps to him slowly, closing the gap between us.
“Hey,” I said softly.
“Hi,” he replied. I could tell that he sensed something was wrong. There was a blanket of tension over us and I dreaded what was coming next.
“Lance,” I started, and I saw him physically brace himself. I faltered, still unsure of what to say, then paused, then started again. “Lance, you’re a really great guy.”
“But, this is summer and you’re not looking for anything, you think we would be better off as friends, it’s you not me?” He sounded bitter, but not in an angry way, more…remorseful.
“No, it’s not about you…I should have been honest with you from the start. I have feelings for someone else. And I have for a very long time. I know that it’s not fair to you. I am so sorry, Lance.”
“It’s cool. I knew that there was something going on between you and Sean. I just hoped I was wrong,” he said after a minute of silence that seemed to go on forever. This made me feel even worse. He looked down at the ground before looking back to me. “You should go for it if you have the chance to make it work.”
“Thanks,” I said, ashamed. “I truly am sorry Lance. I do like you, a lot. But it’s just…it’s just not enough….” I trailed off, looking down.
“You don’t need to explain, Sam,” He put his hand up to stop me. “I understand.” He took a step towards me and kissed my forehead lightly, pulling his jacket from my hands. “I’ll see you around.”
He walked past me to his quad. I stayed where I was, facing the other way, not turning around as I heard him start the quad up and drive off. I sighed shakily. Any form of break up made me sad. I walked over to the big rock and sat on its flat top, looking out to the lake and the people on it. There were people water skiing and fishing, happily enjoying themselves; friends, families, all sharing summer memories.
I would only be a blip in Lance’s memories of the summer, a mere two days of existence. He probably wouldn’t remember my name years down the line. Then again, I probably wouldn’t remember his either. I pulled my shirt off, fixed my swimsuit, and let the sun warm my skin. Closing my eyes, I laid back on the rock and listened to the sounds around me: the boat motors, people laughing and shouting. The light breeze played with my hair and I imagined what a day with Lance would have presented.
I stirred slightly. Some loud noise clattered off in the distance, waking me from my sunbathing nap. I could hear familiar footsteps in the vicinity and I tried to wake up quicker. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands and attempted to open them. Dang, it’s bright, I thought to myself as the sun blared into my sleep glazed eyes. The footsteps were closer now and I couldn’t see anything. I was literally blinded by the light.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes again, trying to clear them. All of a sudden, footsteps were right next to me and Sean’s arms were around my waist, lifting me off the rock and over his shoulder.
“Gotcha! You be mine now. Arrrrrr.” He did a bad imitation of a pirate and I laughed out loud. He was so cute.
“Seaaannnn,” I giggled. “Put me down!” He had my waist on his shoulder and my torso was against his back. I felt the blood rushing to my head and I grabbed onto his sides to steady myself.
“Not a chance, Shorty,” he said lightly, continuing to walk.
“Where are we going?” I asked hesitantly.
“Oohh. Nowhere special.” He bounced me on his shoulder and I smacked his back playfully.
“Seriously. What are you doing?”
“We’re just going for a dip,” he said nonchalantly. I could see the ground start to turn into the shore of the lake. I fought against him, which only made him tighten his grip.
“Sean Matthew Williams.” I smacked his back hard. He merely chuckled at my attempts to free myself. “Put me down this instant,” I growled at him.
“Okay,” he simply said, pulling me up and off his shoulder so I was cradled in his arms. I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck.
“Thank you,” I smiled. “See. Isn’t this —?”
He dropped me.
I hadn’t realized that Sean had kept walking until he was about waist deep in the water.
So, when he dropped me, I landed directly in the lake and ended up soaked. I popped my head out of the water to see Sean retreating from me.
Catching him was easier than I expected. He turned to look at me and the second he turned back away from me, I pounced on him, tackling him into the lake. He tried to turn around and grab me, but I pushed his head under the water and made my way deeper into the lake. Once Sean got his head above water, he came chasing after me. I swam pretty far ahead of him, but despite me being a faster swimmer, Sean caught up quickly because of his ridiculous height. He gripped my ankle and pulled me towards him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he whispered in my ear as he held my back against his chest while I flailed against him.
“Away from you!” I laughed, trying to break his grasp from my waist. He just ignored me, tightening his grip and kissing my cheek.
“I don’t think so,” he mumbled as he kissed my neck lightly, and I laughed again, giving up and leaning back against him. I put my hands on his and interlocked our fingers.
“Mm. Maybe you’re right.”
We played in the water for a while, splashing each other, chasing, giggling. Once our skin started getting wrinkly, we headed back to the shore where our shirts and shoes were strewn waiting for us.
My jean shorts were soaked, dripping down my leg and downright annoying. I peeled them off after I pulled my tank top over my swimsuit, picked them up, and looked back up at Sean as I slid my sandals back on. He was staring as I straightened up.
“What?” I asked, self-consciously looking down at myself to see what was wrong.
He shook his head at me. “Nothing.”
A small smile formed on his lips as he held his hand out to me and I eagerly skipped forward and took it, intertwining my fingers with his. Together, we walked back along the path to the cabin, where we sat out on the logs by the fire pit to dry off before going inside. I stretched out across one of the logs and let the sun work on drying my clothes. Things were quiet for the most part. The breeze was making the wind chimes ring delicately. The wind was picking up and I wondered whether we would have a rare summer storm.
“So, I have to admit, I was kind of surprised to find you missing this morning. Especially after last night….”
“Yeah….” I trailed off slowly. “I, um, had some things to do.”
“Oh,” he said lightly. “Like what?”
“Like tell Lance that things wouldn’t work out between us.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“How’d he take it?” he asked. He didn’t sound too sympathetic towards Lance. Oh, the rivalry.
“He took it alright. He didn’t like flip out or get all upset.”
“Well, that’s good.” The slightest bit of disappointment was in his tone.
We were quiet for a little while longer, simply enjoying each other’s company. I closed my eyes and felt myself start to drift off again. It was so easy for me to fall asleep when I was cozy.
“So,” Sean coughed. I grudgingly opened my eyes and glanced over at him. “What do you uh…want for your birthday?”
“Nothing,” I said abruptly, sitting up. “I don’t want anything. Really.”
“Well, you’re getting something anyway. What do you want?”
“You. That’s it. Truly. We don’t even need to celebrate. I am completely serious.”
Sean got up and came over to sit next to me, pushing my now unruly hair out of my face gently.
“Samantha Renee Armstrong,” he smiled as he said my name. “You listen to me, and you listen good. Your birthday is something we are going to celebrate, because it is a day worth celebrating, because you are worth celebrating. You are simply wonderful. Do you understand me?”
For lack of anything to say, I merely nodded, softly smiling up at him.
“Good,” he grinned, “So, we’re on the same page?”
I nodded again and he bent his head down to kiss me sweetly. I smiled against his lips and put my hand on his cheek.
I never want this to end. I thought to myself happily.
Chapter Eighteen
Hours later, I lay in bed, unable to sleep. I couldn’t figure out why, but I was unbelievably happy. Sean and I had spent most of the afternoon and evening together before I went and hung out with Cara. I filled her in on the things that had happened during the day and she gushed on and on about Chad. After that, I came home for a big family dinner that was uneventful and politely boring.
After dinner, Sean went out with Jonathon and Brian and I relaxed with Sarah, read some junk magazines, and gossiped. The rest of my evening was spent reading. But since I still couldn’t find my book I had to start a new one.
Once it was an acceptable time for me to go to bed, I curled up and tried to fall asleep. To my dismay, I was unable to. So, four hours later I was still awake, laying in the dark. I rolled over yet again and stared at the clock. It was well past midnight and the sounds of the night were well in motion. Crickets were chirping in the distance, the frogs were croaking, and Sarah and Cassie were deeply breathing around me, no troubles in their sleeping patterns whatsoever.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slid out of my bed quietly, careful not to wake either of them, and made my way down the hall. I didn’t know where I was headed, but I couldn’t just lie in bed anymore.
I was slightly surprised to see the light still shining underneath Sean and Brian’s door. I knocked softly and cracked the door. Leaning my head in the door, I saw Sean lying on his bed, reading, the light by his bed dimly lit. He looked at me with suspicion clear in his eyes and tried to cover the book as much as possible. I stepped in and closed the door quietly behind me so I wouldn’t wake up anyone.
His eyes traveled up and down, admiring my pajamas. When he finally looked up, there was a wicked glint in his eyes. I quickly became self-conscious and looked over to Brian’s bed to see his amused expression. Instead, I found his bed empty. Sean laughed at my confused expression as I turned my head back towards him.
“Out with Alisha, at some party,” he explained in a low whisper.
“Oh, what are you reading?” I asked as I sat down on his bed next to his outstretched legs.
“Nothing.” He shoved the book further under his leg.
“Liar,” I accused and lunged towards the book. We fought for the book and eventually I got a good hold on it. Sean reached over to snatch it back and we both fell on the floor with a big thud. We both grew real quiet and looked to the door. I looked down at the book in my hand.
“You’re reading The Notebook?” I asked incredulously. “You took my book?”
“I thought you were done with it. It’s a good book,” he admitted.
Stunned, I stared at him. I never would’ve pegged him for a chick book reader. I started to snicker.
“Oh, shut up,” he laughed. Then, he got really silent again and put his hand on my mouth to silence me. We listened to a creak on the floorboard. I closed my eyes, anticipating the moment when we would get busted. After a few minutes, when I was sure no one was coming in, I opened my eyes to find Sean inches away from my face.
“That was close,” I whispered.
“Not as close as I am to kissing you right now.”
He moved his hand that was still on my mouth to my neck and pulled me closer. He leaned his head in to mine, his eyes hesitant. Then, he was kissing me. He slid over me, careful not to squish me, and I slipped my hands around his neck, gripping him to me tightly. I didn’t care whether or not he squished me. I just wanted him as close as possible.
He shifted his weight over onto his shoulder and started playing with the hem of my shirt, his fingers trailing along my waistline. I tried to catch my breath and moved my mouth to his neck, kissing it slowly. He leaned his head in right below my ear and breathed into it heavily. The heat from his breath spread down the back of my neck and I shivered. I turned my head and grabbed his face to pull his mouth back to mine. He slid his hand t
o the top of my sweats and tugged the tie loose.
I knew if I didn’t stop him soon, I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to. But, it wasn’t right. Innocent kisses were one thing, but this…I wouldn’t let him make a mistake that he would definitely regret when he woke up. He slipped his hand underneath the waistband of my sweats and I broke away from his kiss.
“Sean, we can’t do this.”
“Oh, I beg to differ.” He placed his mouth on my collarbone and I gasped. The heat spread through me. He was making it incredibly hard to say no.
“Sean, please,” I breathed out, regretting the words as they came out. “You’re still technically with her. We can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He pulled his head back and looked at me. He nodded and sighed, then rolled over onto his back. I stayed still as we both tried to even out our breathing. Once we had, I tied the strings on my sweats back in a bow.
“Should I go?” I asked when my breathing was finally normal.
“No, please. Don’t go.” He pulled me over to him. We were still on the floor. Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around him. I could feel him breathing on the top of my head. We stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. When he finally spoke, I was starting to fall asleep.
“Why does this feel so right if it’s so wrong?” he asked, more to himself than to me. He sighed and rubbed my shoulders softly. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t really know what there was to say to that. The silence carried on for a little longer, and then I decided that it was time to get some answers.
“Can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer that’s okay, but I’m curious.”
“Sure, shoot,” he hesitated. I figured I’d better just rip off the band aid.
“Why would you stay with her? Why did you stay with her? I mean, you know she cheats on you; she treats you like shit. Why would you put yourself through the pain of that time and time again? I just—I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“Wow, no one ever just asks me straight out like that. They go around and around in circles, beating around the bush, not asking the question.” He paused. I twisted my head up to look at him and waited for an answer. “I’m not really sure, although, I think it has something to do with the fact that she was my first serious girlfriend. She has a part of me that I’ll never get back. It’s hard to let go of that. I know that I need to leave her, but it’s so hard. I don’t really want to believe it. There are just so many memories that were good. It wasn’t always bad. It got really bad after I left for school.”