by Jane Toombs
Jade, wearing what looked to be his Garfield T-shirt, lay asleep on his bed. In the too-big shirt she looked like a little girl who needed protection, not a feisty grown woman who insisted she could stand on her own two feet, no matter what.
He stepped quietly into the room until he stood beside the bed. On second thought, she didn’t look exactly like a little girl, not with the soft cotton of the shirt outlining the enticing curve of her breasts. It was so long it hid her shorts, leaving his imagination free to play with the idea she wore nothing but the shirt. Maybe she didn’t.
Which led him into shucking his shirt, unhooking the beeper, kicking off his moccasins and easing down to face her. With great effort he refrained from touching her—not yet, not fair while she was sleeping—and waited for her to wake up and find him there.
He could use some rest—he’d been up half the night seeing patients. Not that he felt like sleeping with Jade lying so close to him. He blinked a couple times, trying to keep his eyes open....
Jade eased closer to the warmth next to her. She wasn’t exactly cold, but the warmth felt good as she fitted her back against the curve it made. She sighed and was sinking deeper into sleep when she realized something was now lying across her between her waist and her hip.
Hot Shot? she thought drowsily. Without opening her eyes, she raised her hand to push the cat off and onto the bed beside her. When she touched skin, instead of fur, she awoke abruptly. An arm! At the same time the arm tightened around her, pulling her even closer against what she realized was a man. Nathan.
“Jade?” he murmured, sounding half-asleep. “I thought holding you was a dream. Maybe it is.”
Heart pounding, little fires licking within her, she said, “Not a dream.”
He shifted her so she faced him, his blue gaze holding her as much as his arms. “Gotcha,” he whispered as his lips met hers.
It was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. No part of her wanted to be freed from his embrace. She answered the question in his kiss with fervor, showing him her eagerness to start down the road of no return with him. There was nothing to hold her back, so why shouldn’t she accept what he offered, especially since she felt she’d die if he stopped kissing her?
Making love with Nathan was what she’d wanted all along, and to hell with whether it was smart to get this involved with him.
Nathan groaned when his hand slid under the T-shirt and felt the warm curve of her breast under his fingers. From the beginning he’d wanted to hold her like this and feel her respond to his touch. Warmly. Eagerly. Fire, not ice.
Needing more of her, all of her, he pulled the T-shirt over her head and off, desire burning in him as he gazed at her beautifully shaped breasts. His tongue licked one golden nipple, then he put his mouth to her other breast, her tiny moans thrillinghim.
She tasted so good he wanted more. Her skin smelled faintly floral, mixed with her own feminine scent, one that drove him up further. His dream of her wearing nothing under the T-shirt faded when he discovered she had shorts on and, under those, panties. Both came off and he tasted her all the way to her essence, feeling her trembling beneath him, shaky himself as need consumed him.
“Nathan,” she gasped, “now, please now.”
Her plea hammered through him urgently, scattering all thought, making him tear off the rest of his clothes. A few milligrams of sense remained, enough for him to grope for what he needed before he rose above her and plunged into her welcoming warmth.
And then there was nothing but Jade, nothing but the two of them united in passion.
Jade clung to him as they swayed in matching rhythm along the road she’d chosen to travel. No man had ever taken her so far, had driven her so crazy with need. This was a journey she’d never made before. Then all thoughts faded in a dazzling, blinding blaze of sensation. She heard a voice cry out—her own?
It took her a long time to come down, to return along the road to reality. Even when she became aware of where she was—in Nathan’s bed—they seemed surrounded by a golden glow.
Sometime—not now, but when she could think clearly again—she’d have to ask herself if their lovemaking had set a dangerous precedent. At the moment, though, all that mattered was nestling close to Nathan.
Chapter Nine
Summoning all her willpower, Jade refused to spend the night with Nathan, even though the temptation was almost overwhelming. As she drove home in the dusk, stars began to appear in the darkening sky. Talal had named the constellations for her, but astronomy was not her thing. All she was sure of was Venus, a steady brightness among the twinkling stars.
Venus, goddess of love. Although it was called lovemaking, she didn’t believe what had happened between her and Nathan had any connection to love. Wasn’t it more a matter of hormones? Still, that didn’t explain this achy sensation in her chest, as if she’d left part of herself behind with Nathan.
She’d sworn not to become involved with him in what could only be a dead-end relationship as far as she was concerned. Somehow she hadn’t been able to stick to that vow. When she was around Nathan, she behaved as wildly as Hot Shot did when confronted with fresh catnip.
You knew exactly what would happen when you stretched out on his bed, she chided herself. Maybe you blocked it from your mind, but deep down, you knew.
Jade sighed. She couldn’t trust herself. Unless she wanted to get even mare entangled in a relationship she didn’t think could lead anywhere, she had no choice but to begin avoiding him. As of right now.
But she’d miss him, miss his quirky sense of humor, his teasing grin, his gentle firmness with Tim and how she felt everything was all right when she was with him. Too bad there wasn’t a way to separate the passion from the friendship so she could still have a part of him. Unfortunately she wanted both.
Her style was not to give in or retreat, but in this no-win situation, a strategic withdrawal was the only possible answer.
There’s no one else like him, a voice inside protested.
“And damn lucky there isn’t,” she said aloud. “One Nathan Walker in this universe is more than enough.”
She’d always felt the right man would come along someday, a man who, while not controlling her or even trying to, would be strong enough so she couldn’t control him, either. Most of the men she’d dated—macho types, she admitted it—had eventually turned out to be control freaks that she’d shucked with no regrets,
Nathan was different. He might want to protect her, but that wasn’t the same as being controlling. She grimaced, remembering how she’d described him to her relatives. As happened too often, she’d been a tad too hasty to judge. Nathan was no doormat. Far from it. But she wouldn’t say he was forceful, either. He was, well, he was Nathan. A man she’d have to give up now or regret it later.
Nathan, sprawled on the couch, flicking from one TV channel to the next, halted abruptly when Tim’s picture appeared on the screen. Cursing under his breath, he turned up the sound.
“...whose name is Tim,” the newsperson was saying. “Like Alice, he seems to have no other name. If anyone has information concerning the boy or the woman, please call this number...”
Somehow they’d latched onto Tim’s name. Nathan noted it was a California channel, not the local Nevada one, so the news was spreading. Jade needed to be told. Glancing at his watch, he saw that she couldn’t have made it home yet.
The downstairs emergency buzzer rang, letting him know someone in need of his help was at the clinic door. He rose, slid his feet into his moccasins and activated the door speaker, saying, “Be right there.”
Before heading down the stairs, he picked up the phone, got Jade’s answering machine and left a message for her to call him.
How empty the house is without Tim, Jade told herself. Evidently Hot Shot thought so, too, because he made several trips into the boy’s bedroom before finally curling up next to her on the couch. She put aside the well-drilling magazine she was attempting to read and
stroked the cat.
“We’re on our own tonight, old boy,” she told him.
She’d checked her answering machine when she came in. Four calls, the last from Nathan. The other three could wait until Monday for a return call and Nathan might wait forever. She didn’t want to hear his voice tonight, not while she was still vulnerable. Maybe she’d miraculously grow a protective shell in her sleep and be capable of dealing with whatever he had to say in the morning. Or maybe not.
Actually she didn’t want to hear anyone’s voice right now, which was why she was ignoring the TV. Hot Shot’s purring was about the limit of what she could tolerate. She tried to focus on the magazine again and gave it up. A sad state of affairs when the man she was determined to give up occupied every last brain cell she possessed.
And what about her heart?
Jade scowled and flung down the magazine, startling Hot Shot. He sent her a reproachful glare, jumped down from the couch and padded into the hall.
Wishing she hadn’t agreed to let Tim spend the night at the ranch, she rose from the couch and wandered into the kitchen. She could use the boy’s company about now. Remembering how he liked chocolate-chip cookies made with oatmeal, she decided to distract herself by baking some to surprise him. A double batch, since everybody was coming to swim tomorrow. Everyone except Nathan.
Stop it, she chided herself. Keep your mind on the cookies.
Nathan spent a busy night seeing patients and was pleasantly surprised when he awoke on Sunday morning to discover it was already ten and there’d been no emergency calls since three. No call from Jade. either. Why?
Come to think of it, though, she could have decided to stop and spend the night at the ranch since Tim was staying there. Quite likely she’d done just that. In which case, she probably wasn’t home yet. He smiled, thinking about her in his bed. Whatever he’d expected making love with her would be like, it’d fallen way short of the mark. It’d been like nothing else. Like more.
More may or may not be a good idea, but he wasn’t going to worry about it, not when he couldn’t wait to hold her in his arms again. Just imagining her softness pressed against him turned him on to an unbelievable extent. Whether it was fishing, badminton or. lovemaking, Jade put her whole heart and soul into the action. If he could have persuaded her to spend the night, they could be enjoying each other at this very moment.
Jade wasn’t the persuadable type, though. Far from it. She wanted everything her way. His smile faded. If she was any type, it was confrontational. Much as he desired her, he couldn’t see a lot of hope for any long-term relationship.
His beeper buzzed, sending him to the phone to see what the next emergency was. And so went Sunday. When he finally surfaced into a space of no calls, the sun was setting. He eased onto the couch and turned on the TV news.
No channel had any mention of Alice or Tim. Relieved, he decided it must have been a one-shot thing, as he’d hoped it would prove to be. Jade still hadn’t called back, but it probably didn’t matter now. The ball was in her court, and he’d leave it there until she picked it up.
He was zapping a frozen pizza in the microwave when the phone rang. Involuntarily his pulse leaped. No patients had access to his private line. It must be Jade. Instead, he heard his sister’s voice.
“I have an interview in Reno next week for this new job,” Laura told him. “I won’t have a lot of time, but I’d like to rent a car and drive over to see you.”
“Great. Let me know what day and I’ll have someone cover for me.”
They settled on her calling him from Reno and, as he put down the phone, he realized he wanted Laura to meet Jade. Never mind how long or short their relationship was going to be or how little time his sister might have in Nevada, he damn well was going to bring them together.
Getting family approval, Walker? he asked himself cynically. He remembered when he’d brought Gloria home to meet his parents. Laura, he’d seen right away, didn’t like her. His father had been as taken in by Gloria as he’d been, but his mother, though she’d said nothing against Gloria, had acted wary.
“Perhaps you should get to know each other a bit better before you think about marriage,” she’d said to him privately. “Say, a year.”
A year had seemed like an eternity to him, and he hadn’t listened. He should have. Were mothers always right? This summer his folks were traveling through New Zealand and Australia, having finally decided that Laura was doing fine on her own. Even if they’d been home, though, he had no urge to bring Jade to illinois so they could look her over.
Why did he have this weird notion that Laura and Jade should- meet? Certainly not to get his sister’s approval, since he had no intention of ever marrying again. And if he did mean to marry, Jade wouldn’t be his choice. At best, marriage meant compromise, and he doubted if she knew the meaning of the word.
Jade’s Sunday was filled with family. She would have enjoyed the day even more if thoughts of Nathan hadn’t kept intruding. Sitting at poolside with Karen and Linnea while the men amused the kids in the water, Jade pictured Nathan standing on the edge of the pool in those damn swim trunks and felt herself melt inside.
“Jade. Yoo-hoo, anybody home in there?” Belatedly she became aware of Karen waving a hand in front of her face.
“Sorry. Guess I’m a tad out of it. Haven’t been sleeping too well.”
“Too many good-night kisses from Nathan?” Linnea asked, smiling. “That’ll do it.”
“Danny reported all,” Karen put in.
“I didn’t bug you when you were going with Zed,” Jade told Karen defensively.
Linnea giggled. “I heard you gave Zed plane tickets for Christmas one year so he could fly down to San Diego and seduce poor Karen.”
“If I hadn’t, who knows how long this stubborn pair would have taken to come together. Why, baby Erin might never have gotten made, much less born.”
“Linnea and I like Nathan,” Karen said. “The guys do, too.”
Jade sighed. “So do I. But it wouldn’t work.”
Her two sisters-in-law glanced at each other and shook their heads.
“Don’t be so eager to marry me off. I’m doing just fine as a single.”
“Maybe so, but Tim will need a father,” Linnea said.
“I’ll think about that when the time comes. If it comes. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to give Tim up. I’m beginning to realize I need him as much as he needs me.”
“The waiting must be dreadful for you,” . Karen said. “But with Alice’s picture on TV, she’s sure to be recognized by someone and identified.”
“Yes,” Linnea said, “especially since—”
“Hey,” Zed called, pulling himself from the water. “Where’s the food? I’m only the outside cook. And in case you’ve forgotten, Prince Talal isn’t handy at cooking in or out of the house. When we dine inside, somebody else has to dish it up.”
In the flurry of getting things ready to eat, Jade completely forgot that Linnea had been cut off before she finished whatever she’d been going to say.
Later, after they’d all left, leaving her alone with Tim, they sat on the couch together while he chattered on about the camel ride and the new kittens in Zed’s bam. “I got to name one kitten,” he said. “It’s a girl, so I called her Kim.”
“That’s almost like Tim.”
“Yeah. She was pretty, like the kitten.”
Jade held her breath, hoping he’d go on, afraid any question might make him clam up.
“He told me she died and got buried in the ground. Alice said no, she went to heaven where there’s angels. So he hit Alice.”
Swallowing, Jade ventured a question. “Kim is dead?”
“I guess. Are there really angels? I never saw one.”
“I don’t think angels can be seen. Who was Kim?”
“I heard him tell Alice she was my mother.” Tim edged closer and leaned against Jade. “I can’t remember too good.”
Jade put her arm
around him, snuggling him to her. “Can you be my mother?” he asked, looking up at her, his body tense.
She blinked back tears, longing to tell him of course. But she couldn’t lie to Tim. “I want to be because 1 love you very much,” she said finally.
Satisfied, he relaxed against her. Hot Shot chose that moment to join them, butting his head against Tim like he did when he wanted to be petted. “Maybe Hot Shot loves me, too?” Tim asked.
“I’d say so. As much as a cat loves anybody. He sure missed you last night. And so did I. But I’m glad you had fun at the ranch.”
“Linnea’s gonna have a baby. If you had one, I could play with it.”
“Babies need daddies,” she said. To prevent any further discussion of daddies and babies, she added, “How about some chocolate milk before you go to bed?”
She succeeded in distracting Tim until after he’d had a bedtime snack, gotten into his pajamas, was read to and tucked into bed with Freddie beside him and Hot Shot curled up near his feet. Sitting on the side of the bed, Jade bent to kiss him good-night.
Tim kissed her back, then, looking up at her with his big brown eyes, said, “I bet if you asked Doc, he’d be the daddy. Then you could have a baby.”
Gathering her wits, she said hastily, “We don’t ask people to be daddies. They have to offer.” It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best she could come up with fast. She hoped it was enough to prevent Tim from mentioning any such thing to Nathan.
Because the fact was, she’d have to see Nathan again if Tim ever had to be taken to a doctor. He trusted Nathan. She couldn’t be cruel enough to take him to a doctor he didn’t know.
Feeling exhausted, she went to bed without watching the news and slept the whole night through.
The next morning, after she’d fed Hot Shot and he’d gone out in back through the cat door, she was pouring cereal into a bowl for Tim when the doorbell rang. Going to answer it barefoot, she looked through the window and saw an Asian couple on her doorstep. An apprehensive quiver shot through her.