by A. K. Koonce
The two of them stand side by side. Beautiful but different. Rime’s paleness gives him an image of innocence. Chaos holds bulking muscle tone and sun-kissed skin. There’s no tension in his body. He looks completely relaxed.
And for once, so does Rime.
Smooth, perfect skin meets mine. Chaos warms me as his body melds against mine and he kisses my neck once more. The rough scrape of his beard is almost more addicting than his hands on my body. He feels so good against me.
Chaos turns. His strong arms push the table and he joins me. We sit side by side while Rime stands in front of us. Chaos’ gaze trails over every part of me. He watches me for a moment longer, considering something in his mind.
“Have you ever done this before?” His voice is gentle and almost calms the hard hammering of my heart.
I’m so nervous all I can do is smile and hope I appear half as confident as they are. “Have I ever been fucked on the castle dinner table? No. Not today.”
Chaos leans into me, brushing his lips slowly over my shoulder. I feel the smile on his lips against my neck and my breath becomes shallow. “Remind me to tell you how funny you are,” he whispers.
“Mmm, definitely.”
“Come here.” Chaos’ fingers slowly unbutton his jeans and my heart pounds harder. My fingers skim against his and he stops the moment my hand covers his. Our eyes meet, sparking energy between us like never before.
I feel every ticking notch of his zipper as I pull it down. My fingers push against his clothes until his cock meets my palm. His dark lashes flutter over his pretty eyes as he tries to keep his eyes open to watch me. He watches intently as my fingers slides up the hard length of his cock before pushing slowly back down. Rime’s palm settles against Chaos’ thigh as they both watch me with intensity.
A rumbling sound hums through his chest before he whispers once again in a sweet, pleading tone.
“Come here, Low.”
And it’s now or never. My hands shake as much as my breath as I shift over his lap. Gentle hands clasp against my hips. Chaos sits up straighter. The warmth of his chest presses along my back as I hover over him. Soft lips press just below my ear, lingering there, his breath hot against my skin.
His fingers tease the curve of my ass and his tongue slips against my neck in a worshipping way. He kisses me there over and over again. Sucking and nipping and making my breath unsteady with every press of his lips. His fingers slide against my sex, slipping hard over my clit and making me gasp before coming back to my ass. Slowly, he sinks in. My brows furrow and all I can do is use my magic for the greater good in this moment.
With a subtle wave of my hand his fingers slide deeper, massaging me in a way that has me grinding against his hand.
When he realizes the power of my lubing magic, he smirks with a shaking laugh humming against my neck.
“Mmm, where have you been all my life?”
His quiet words fall away as I lift until he slips from me. Rime’s fingers skim against my thighs with a small reassuring touch. Chaos presses a kiss to my spine as I lift myself until his tip brushes against my ass. Slowly I sink down.
A low groan rumbles along the back of my neck and he fills me completely. The sting of pain disappears as I start to rock against his shaft, making my breath catch with a needy feeling.
“You feel so fucking good.” His teeth rake along my skin with a gentle but rough sensation that shivers all through me.
When my lashes flutter open, Rime’s staring down on me. My legs are spread wide, my feet against the edge of the table. I’m bared to him.
The warm look in his eyes makes me feel like he sees every broken part of me. And when he takes a step closer, his hips brushing against the inside of my thighs, I know there’s no turning back for us. The three of us might have all these problems against us, but we have us too. We have each other.
Chaos’ fingers dig into my thighs as he spreads me even wider. Rime’s hands cross over Chaos’ as he pulls my hips hard. He slams into me just as hard.
A shaking gasp slips from my lips. Chaos’ growl rumbles over my neck as Rime thrusts harder into me. Every move Rime makes affects all of us in the best possible way. My head tips back against Chaos’ chest and shaking breaths fall from my lips. Rime’s pounding pace slows, and he leans into me, taking his time as he rocks back and forth. Gently his lips brush against mine. It’s the softest touch. He kisses me slowly and with care as his hips grind against mine. His tongue slips along mine.
Long fingers thread through my hair. Big hands skim over my ribs, up my sides and over my breasts. Slowly Chaos rolls my nipples lightly before pinching hard and despite small efforts to keep me quiet, they both continue to torture me slowly. Rime grips my thigh and his thrusts become harder, deeper, making me gasp against his lips. My mouth stays parted with breathless moans and he holds my gaze as he fucks me, watching the way I come undone with every stroke of his cock.
The two of them stretch me completely. My hand raises as I push my fingers through Chaos’ thick hair. I tilt my head and my lips graze Chaos’, but he pulls away. Warm firelight gleams against his dark beard, his pretty eyes, and the confusion that’s held in his gaze. My heart stumbles and before I can speak again he tilts my head and kisses me there along my neck, his teeth raking hard as his hips start to rock just slightly.
Rime’s attention slips to his friend and the tense moment is quick. And it’s quickly forgotten. A rasping sound falls from my mouth, echoing along the high ceilings as Rime guides our pace. His lips seal to mine, quieting my pleasure as he fucks me harder. His thumb slips down my folds. He takes his time rubbing against my clit at a leisure pace. I’m trembling in their arms as my orgasm shakes through me, making both of them groan at the same time. It’s a growling sound that tingles right into me.
I’ve never felt as surrounded by strength as I do right now. Their hands roam across my skin, teasing me in ways I’ve never known before. It’s slow whispers of touches and breaths of kisses. Hard thrusts and sharp nails. It’s a conflicting combination that coils all through me only to come crashing back down.
Chaos groans low and rumbling against my neck and the pulsing feel of his release has my fingers tightening in his messy hair.
Rime presses slow kisses against my lips over and over again, and I can’t keep my eyes open as another orgasm slams through, making me ache with waves of release. His grip on me tightens as my sex clenches around his shaft. Harder he grinds against me, making me gasp even more before he finally comes. His movements stop. His lips pressing to mine hover while our breaths mingle.
Controlling hands turn gentle against my skin as the three of us meld into one another. Rime’s temple meets mine and I stare into the sated look in his eyes. Chaos’ lips press to the back of my neck. Sweat clings to the spaces between us. Heavy breaths whisper against my skin. Even the thrumming beats of our hearts seem to speak to one another.
Everything is perfect. Possibly more perfect than I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
But all I can think about is the way Chaos avoided kissing me.
And all that perfection tears away.
Eighteen
A Past of Love
Every inch of my existence is tired. So tired, that when Chaos slips his arm beneath my legs and pulls me against his chest, I just curl up against him. The two men’s boots echo softly against the flooring and barely a hint of light guides us through the darkness as we trail slowly upstairs.
How am I ever going to eat at that dining room table without this memory fresh in my mind? I guess I should be worried about how it might look for these two beautiful men to be leading me naked to my room.
But I’m so blissfully tired I can’t seem to care.
When we reach the fourth floor, Rime opens the bedroom door and holds it open as Chaos carries me in side. There’s this feeling of safety like I’ve never felt before when he carries me like this. It’s a sense of being taken care of. Being supported. Being … loved.
>
My heart skips a beat at that thought but the moment he gently lies me down on top of the blankets the thought is forgotten. I’m aware of the way the mattress dips on either side of me even if I don’t manage to open my eyes to them. Warm palms push against my stomach as their strong bodies warm me from all angles.
Peace settles deep into my bones. It’s in the very air I breathe. My breathing becomes even just thinking about it as sleep starts to sink in.
Until he speaks.
“What did he do to you?” Chaos’ words are barely a whisper, but they slice right through my thoughts until I’m blinking wide eyed up at the shadowy ceiling high above.
What did he do to you? All that peace I had just moments ago is ripped away as I consider the question over and over and over again.
Chaos presses his chest closer against me, melding his strength right into me as they both wait for my reply. Steady sweeps of Rime’s fingers brush back and forth against my navel.
“You don’t want to know. It’s not nearly as terrible as I act like it is, I’m sure.” My breath catches but all I can think about is how awful Rime’s childhood was. There’s no comparison. He’s so strong. So unyieldingly strong and I just sulk about my past. It’s embarrassing to think about how different he and I handle our pasts.
I just want to be strong and in control of my life now. I want it so bad.
“In the next few days we’re going to meet that mother fucker who hurt you. I’m asking right now, what did he do to you?” The cutting vengeance in Rime’s tone is spoken evenly and promisingly. That menacing sound in his voice slips away when he speaks again. It’s replaced with compassion and gentleness. “I want to know, My Tamer. I’m right here.” His lips press to my shoulder lightly as he breathes me in. “I’m right here.”
My palms brush against the back of their knuckles as I try to put my life in a story book chronological order instead of the flashing instances that always circle my mind.
I always changed the way the memories really happened. I changed the way things were to make myself feel better. Maybe that’s pathetic. It was easier for me to say he was just strict with his training, rather than saying he hurt me.
He harmed me.
To admit that he hurt me, makes me sound like a victim. I’m not a victim. Victims know when something’s wrong. They know when they’re in a terrible situation.
Don’t they?
“I was barely eighteen when I met Kreedence and Sinister. They were opposites in every way but both of them seemed to accept me. Kreedence was this overbearing source of power who didn’t hesitate to show the world the magic he was capable of. And I wanted that so badly. I wanted that freedom to be the person I’d always hidden away.” Countless thoughts circle my mind that I can’t manage to tell them. I hate how easily I followed him. I hate how weak he made me despite how strong my magic grew. I hate how much I lied to myself about how he treated me. I hate that I didn’t realize all of this then when it mattered. “At first he helped me with my magic. He was harsh and demanding while Sinister was encouraging and easy going. It’s like Kreedence needed my magic but he’d never admit it. I don’t know why he was so adamant about me learning everything. But I loved how strong I felt for the first time in my life. At first, he was so encouraging. On the surface he’d praise everything about me with this alluring and perfect smile.”
Now that I think about it, his smile was… too perfect. No one’s that fucking happy. No one. I should have realized that. His smile should have been a warning to me.
“I physically wanted to make him proud of me.” The romantic sound of my voice wavers just slightly.
“Did he hurt you?” There’s a growl in Chaos’ voice that hums through the room for several seconds. He wants to know what I’m not saying. He wants to know what lies beneath the sugar coating.
My stomach twists.
“Not—Not really, no.” Not directly. “His training was harsh. Slightly violent. He’d hold me down and if I couldn’t use my magic to fend him off, then I failed and his hands on my body would become a little more controlling.” The memory of his big palm pressing my face into the floor flashes through my mind. Each trial with him was rougher and rougher. It infuriated him when I couldn’t do something right the first time. “Sometimes he’d leave bruises, but it was never anything serious. He’d tell me to work harder next time or it’d be worse. He—he broke my arm once on accident.” Only once.
The soft sweeping of Rime’s palm against my skin halts as his fingers fist into his hand.
“Did… he hurt you in other ways?” There’s a painful sound to Chaos’ words and I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking about how he and I have had unromantic, rough sex.
Chaos could never hurt me. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met. I hope he knows that.
“No. We stopped having sex after only a few times. It never happened like that. It was just our training that was harsh.” Mostly I can’t help but wonder if Kreedence liked me at all. I wondered it then when he didn’t want to touch me, and I wonder it now when I think back on our terrible relationship. I hate that it hurts to think he never cared about me. It’s this doubtful feeling that lies heavy within me that the person I shared my secrets and emotions with only tolerated me.
But that doesn’t really make any sense. Why should I care that the man I hate didn’t love me?
It doesn’t make sense, but I still feel that way.
“The excitement of my magic turned to dread with each passing day. He took something I looked forward to and that I loved and turned it into something terrible. I refused once. The wrath of his screaming anger was nothing compared to the way his magic laced around my body. It was unseen and controlling and it held me in place for days. For so long that when he finally did release me, I fell face first to the ground. I blacked out.” A beat passes with only the tension of their anger filling the silence. “Sinister was the only good part. Kreedence never showed Sinister his darker side. He was good at holding a mask in place for the world to see. He’d wait until it was only the two of us.” I swallow hard and try to think of something else.
“Sinister took care of me. He eased his brother’s anger. He tried to steal me away from my life.” The memory of our kiss flashes through my mind and I hate how much the sweet memory is tarnished. “But Kreedence took Sinister away too. He took the only good thing in my life away. And that was the day I plotted my escape. I used what Kreedence taught me against him. Like I said, it’s hard to control someone’s intentions.” The rage in his eyes is still fresh in my memory. I thought I’d seen him angry before, but it was nothing compared to the way he lashed out at me when he saw me with his brother. He took Sinister outside but when he returned, Sinister was gone. And all that anger was focused on me and me alone. The next day Grim was given to me as an apology gift. “I waited until his back was turned to try it. It didn’t last long but it was just long enough to run. And to never look back.”
I’ve never told anyone that. I’ve never thrown it all out there.
A long and shaking breath slips past my lips and I’m terrified of what they must think of me. I sound weak. Pathetic. Who lets a relationship carry on like that for that long? Who accepts that as their life?
“You’re not that person any more, Low.” Chaos brushes his lips on my jaw as emotions press hard against my chest. The feel of it all threatens the air within my lungs.
“You loved Sinister?” Chaos asks. It’s the only question he has and it’s a safe question. It’s a question that eases the rising tension that’s pressing into my chest.
“Well, I thought I loved Kreedence too, so maybe I’m not the best at figuring out what love looks like.” A feeling tightens within my stomach. It hurts to think I don’t even know my own feelings.
Love is ugly. Confusing. Dangerous.
“Love is pure. There’s no intentional hurt in love. You’d do anything to protect them. Anything.” Chaos’ words are the most profound thing I�
�ve ever heard him say. He surprises me again and again.
“How do you know that?”
Of the three of them, Kain’s felt a real mating bond before. He’s the only one.
So how does Chaos have a clue what love feels like?
He takes a quiet breath before he presses his lips to the side of my head. “Because that’s what it sounds like when you talk about Sinister,” he whispers.
My lips part as I try to follow his train of thought. “That was five years ago.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. It existed. Maybe not at the most opportune time, but it did exist.” His strong arms pull me closer to his chest and Rime scoots closer as well. Their hands touch just slightly atop my stomach.
They have felt a bond. Both of them. Together. Maybe it’s not a mating bond but it’s so similar they might not even realize they’ve both felt love.
You’d do anything to protect them.
Peace slips back in while they hold me tightly to their chests. My lashes close slowly as I really consider them.
No one knows more about what love feels like, than Chaos and Rime. And they don’t even realize it.
Nineteen
The Truth (For Once)
Pale sunlight has me flinching before my eyes even open. The golden color washes through the room, highlighting every beautiful detail of the dark beams overhead and the matching bedframe. The estate is made up of strong dark wood and fine furniture. It’s scattered everywhere.
And today will be the last day I look at it.
Rime’s already up. His back is to me. Broad shoulders tense as he stares out the massive window, his palm held against the dark windowpane. The tension within him steels his spine and it’s held in every part of him.
All that relaxation from last night is gone already.
Chaos’ fingers drift through piece after piece of my long hair. The strands shine against the light and it seems to mesmerize his pretty eyes even as I look up at him from where he sits against the head board. His gaze is alluring, the contrast of the two colors holds all of my attention.