“I don’t care. He’s still a gigantic jerk.”
“He feels really bad. Maybe you should give him a chance,” Lucy urged.
“A chance with what?” I asked rhetorically.
“I’m glad you asked that, Liz,” Caleb interjected, not missing his cue. “Zack and I are going to play paintball tomorrow morning. We thought you two might like to join us.”
“Oh! That sounds like fun. We’ll be there,” Lucy confirmed, full of enthusiasm.
“I have something to do tomorrow,” I said politely, desperate to get out of spending the day with that degenerate and morally questionable Bartlett.
“Liz, we all know that’s not true. You don’t have to volunteer until Sunday.” Caleb shot me a look as if to say, “If you don’t go, I’ll tell everyone your secret.”
“Volunteer?” Lucy inquired.
“It’s just something I do.” I tried to act like it was no big deal. “All right. I’ll clear my schedule.” I gave Caleb a begrudging look, hating that he’d used my secret against me.
“Perfect! Lucy’ll pick you up in the morning. She knows where the field is,” Caleb said happily, having gotten his way.
It was seven thirty the next morning when Lucy knocked on my door. I hadn’t set my alarm. I’d been very tired when I got home last night. I must have forgotten. In my sleepy daze, I wondered what she wanted so early in the morning. Then I gasped as the evening before rushed back to me. Oh, no! I remembered my agreement to go watch Caleb and Zack play paint-ball. I did not even want to get out of bed, let alone spend the better part of the morning with Zack Bartlett.
“Come on, Liz,” Lucy called. “We’re going to be late. I know you’re in there.”
“All right, give me a sec. I overslept.” I stumbled to the door in my drowsy state.
I hurriedly pulled on a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt and ran a comb through my hair. Then I ran down the hall to the shared restroom to brush my teeth and throw some water on my face.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
The paintball field was no more than thirty minutes from St. Paul’s College. However, it was still an area I had never seen nor been to before. Every day was new and exciting being free from the iron gates of MIQ. Only the weather had any familiarity to link my old life to my new one. It was a typically overcast day in Chicago. You could just start to feel the chill sting of fall in the air. The leaves were just starting turn colors, hinting that the unbearable cold of winter was only a few months away.
When Lucy and I arrived at the paintball field, I was taken with the variety of vibrant colors. The bright green grass of the field was decorated with large red and blue inflatable barriers of all different shapes and sizes. There were ten to fifteen players on the field. All of them were wearing brightly colored, long-sleeved jerseys. Some were yellow and black, others were red and white. The players all wore facemasks, most of them black with clear lenses. Across the field were two players crouched and partially obscured by the oversized inflatable barriers. They were wearing a rich shade of blue that reminded me of Caleb’s hair. As I pictured Caleb’s bright blue hair in my mind, one of the blue players turned around so his back was to me. There it was, beneath the back strap of his protective mask—a hint of blue hair.
“Lucy, I think that’s them over there,” I announced, trying to gain her attention as I waved to Caleb from across the field.
“Oh, I think you’re right, honey.” Lucy waved her arm high in the air, a huge smile on her face. Lucy was too exuberant to ever do anything halfway.
When their game ended Caleb and Zack, the other blue player, made their way across the field to greet us. They slipped through the opening of the tall black safety net that ran the perimeter of the field.
“Hey, Lucy, do you know anything about this sport?” I asked, trying to get any information before the guys got over to us.
“Nope, not a thing. But the boys sure look cute, don’t they?” Lucy remarked as she turned on her girlish charm.
Lucy was right, they did look cute. Caleb walked up, taking off his mask. His blue-and-blonde hair was sweaty and disheveled. Like his jersey, his pants were blue and black, with padding to protect the knees and shins. Zack was much taller than Caleb. He walked little behind, his mask tucked under his arm. I had seen him take off his mask just a second before Caleb, and although it was hard to believe, Zack’s hair was perfect, just like always. His dark brown hair still had its spikes in front, like it had just been styled. Zack’s and Caleb’s jerseys matched exactly, blue and black with padded shoulders and elbows. Unlike Caleb’s fully matching outfit, Zack wore a pair of regular blue jeans, which, I hated to admit, looked really good on him.
“Good morning, ladies,” Caleb said gleefully.
“We’ve packed a picnic for you.” There was a hint of nervousness in Zack’s voice as he looked straight at me.
“Oh, yeah, we did,” Caleb said. “Let me run to the car and get it. Then we can go sit on the grass and enjoy the day.” He was always the planner of the group.
“I’ll come with you,” Lucy declared. I knew she wanted to be alone with Caleb.
“Okay, great. Liz, would you take this for me?” Caleb handed me his paintball gun to carry over to the grass for him.
Caleb and Lucy trotted off to the parking lot, leaving me standing alone next to Zack. Neither one of us seemed thrilled.
“Where did you want to sit?” I asked, trying to break the silence.
“Oh, um, just over here.” He pointed to a nice little meadow-like area next to the play field.
As we walked together to the picnic spot, I could feel the tension building.
“So, you and Caleb really like paintball, huh?” I asked in a pathetic attempt to be nice.
“It’s really more Caleb’s sport than mine. I run track.”
“Yeah, I know,” I snapped, unable to control my deep-seated dislike.
“About that, I didn’t mean to…”
“Just forget about it, okay? I shouldn’t have said that. I told myself I was going to try and be nice. For Caleb and Lucy, of course.”
“Right.” Zack’s face dropped. The silence quickly became deafening.
“So you said this is really Caleb’s sport. If you don’t like it that much, why do you play?” I tried to sound interested in an attempt to atone for my rudeness.
“Caleb and I have been roommates for a couple of years now. For my birthday a few months back he gave me a paintball marker and this jersey. We’ve been playing together ever since.”
I was surprised by his sincerity. The way he talked about Caleb, you could tell he was really a good friend and even a good sport. I didn’t like that Zack might actually be a nice guy. It complicated things.
We sat down on the grass and waited for Caleb and Lucy to return. I picked up Caleb’s paintball gun and started examining it. It was large, with a long barrel and a tank screwed into the bottom of the handle. Yet for its size it was surprisingly light. The body of the gun was brushed silver and the barrel was a beautiful blue anodized aluminum. I had to admit it was really flashy, just like Caleb. I turned the gun around, looking at every little angle. I had never seen anything like this back at MIQ.
“Hey, you should be careful with that,” Zack warned.
“Why?” I just finished the word when I heard a thrrrrump.
“Ow! Dammit, you shot me!” Zack screamed, grabbing his neck.
“Oh my God! I am so sorry. Are you okay?” Panicked, I crawled over to him. He was only maybe three feet away. If I’d shot him from this distance, he must be really hurt.
“I’m all right. I’m all right, relax.” Zack spoke reassuringly. A chuckle escaped, and then he broke into full-blown laughter.
“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think it’s funny.”
“I’m fine, look.” Zack pulled his hand away and wiped the green paint from his neck. “Look, I’m just going to have a small bruise. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, I
thought I really hurt you.” I was sincerely relieved that I hadn’t killed him.
“You know what this means, right? Now we’re even. You can’t hate me anymore.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, smirking.
We both started laughing. Our feud seemed silly after my nearly killing him. Caleb and Lucy walked up with the picnic basket and a blanket.
“What’s so funny?” Lucy asked, looking at Caleb, confused.
“She shot me!” Zack announced, still laughing.
“Liz!” Caleb scolded.
“It was an accident, I swear. I was sitting here looking at your gun and it went off.”
“Dude, she hit me in the neck. Who you gonna believe?” Zack asked.
“Honest, Caleb, I didn’t mean to,” I pleaded.
“Well, if it was an accident, maybe you should shoot him for real this time,” Caleb encouraged with a big laugh.
“I just might.” I tried to act like it was a good idea.
Zack and I stood up and helped Lucy and Caleb lay down the blanket and unpack the food. The picnic was a beautiful idea. I had never been on a picnic. But I didn’t want to tell them that. They’d just think I was a freak. I remembered the way Brett would always weird out and run off after I said something like that. I remembered my first kiss and my first birthday cake both ending so badly. I didn’t want that to happen now with my new friends. So I just acted like it was no big deal. We sat and talked and nibbled on fruit, crackers, and cheese. Not having eaten before we left the dorms I was really glad the guys thought to bring food. I just wished I wasn’t so uncomfortable that I could enjoy it. Instead my stomach knotted tighter.
Caleb talked about paintball and how much he loved it. He was so animated like a little kid.
“Your gun is really pretty, Caleb.”
“Thanks, but it’s called a marker.”
“A what?” Lucy asked.
“A marker. The field officials want everyone to say marker. That way the game doesn’t seem as violent.”
“It still seems violent,” Lucy commented, watching the playing field closely.
“Not really, we’re not shooting people. We’re just marking them,” Caleb said.
I agreed with Lucy. “Looks like shooting to me.”
“Sorry, man, but I’m going to have to agree with them,” Zack chuckled, looking at me. “I feel like I’ve been shot.”
“How fast do those balls go, anyway?” I asked.
“The electric semiautomatic markers like mine fire at three hundred feet per second,” said Caleb, once again spewing facts. I was impressed by his knowledge and wondered why he had such a difficult time in school. He seemed very smart.
“Wowee, that is fast!” The speed amazed Lucy.
“Is that how fast the ball was going when I shot him?” I asked, pointing to Zack.
“Well, I think that rage makes it go a little faster,” Zack teased, rubbing his freshly bruised neck.
“Watch out, man, she might just shoot you again,” Caleb jabbed. He, Zack, and Lucy laughed as I sat quietly in my embarrassment.
After our picnic, Caleb took Lucy to show her how to fire the marker. Lucy was very excited about the private lesson. This left me alone with Zack. We cleaned up the trash, packed everything away, and folded up the blanket. I didn’t just want to sit there with him. I had no idea how long Lucy and Caleb were going to be, so I tried to stay busy.
“We should probably go put the basket and blanket back in the car,” I suggested.
“Oh, okay. I’ll go in a minute. It’s a nice day. Why don’t we just enjoy it?”
Zack leaned back and lay down in the grass, looking up at the sky. He seemed so peaceful lying there all stretched out with his arms under his head. I couldn’t help but notice how his jersey fell tightly across his perfectly sculpted abs. The sun glistened off his face, making him look almost like one of the stained glass angels in the windows of St. Matthew’s. I was starting to understand why all the girls liked Zack Bartlett—although I still had my doubts about him being a nice guy.
He must have realized I had been staring at him for a creepily long amount of time because he rolled over toward me. “So, Elizabeth, tell me something.”
“What?”
“Anything. Tell me anything about yourself.”
My least favorite subject. I didn’t know what to do. I was sure he couldn’t guess my secret, but I still felt transparent. “There’s not much to tell,” I replied, thinking that was a safe response.
“I doubt that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll ask, you answer, okay? Where you from?”
“I’m from here, Chicago.”
“Really? You don’t strike me as a Chicago girl.”
“I don’t know why. I’ve been here practically my whole life.”
“You just don’t seem like it, I guess. I’d peg you as more of a country girl. Maybe Midwest—no, Northeast. Vermont or New Hampshire. Yeah, that’s it.”
“It sounds like you think you know me pretty well.” The irritation grew in my voice as I spoke.
“No, I don’t think that at all. I’m just trying to figure you out.”
“Don’t bother,” I said coolly.
“Maybe I want to bother. That is, to get to know you.”
“I don’t really see the point.”
“Oh, you don’t see the point. Okay.” Zack rolled over again, gazing back up at the sky.
“Good,” I huffed as I turned away from him to face the field.
Lucy and Caleb came walking back up. It was obvious that Zack and I were not speaking.
“Went that well, huh, guys?” Caleb asked.
“I’m ready to go, if you don’t mind, Lucy,” I commanded more than asked. I was determined to leave as soon as I could. I did not want to spend one more moment with Zack Bartlett.
“Yeah, man, I’m ready too,” Zack told Caleb, sounding almost as irritated as I was.
Lucy and I said goodbye to Caleb and walked to our car. I was waiting to see how long Lucy could go without tying to pry what had happened out of me. It took all of forty-five seconds. We were still in earshot of Caleb and Zack when she asked, “Would ya like to tell me what happened?”
“Lucy, I don’t know what to tell you. Zack Bartlett rubs me the wrong way.”
“Darlin’, I don’t know if ya realize, he is the most popular guy in school.”
“I don’t care about that, Lucy.”
“Let me put it this way, hon. Do ya have any idea how many girls would line up to have Zack Bartlett rub them any way?”
“I’m sure there would be a line around the block. In fact, he’s probably already ‘rubbed’ half of them.”
“Honey, I think he likes ya.”
“Lucy, I don’t care. I do not like him, okay?” I asserted, ending the conversation.
Lucy took me back to the dorm. She said she was going to meet up with Caleb somewhere. I thanked her for the ride and then headed up to my room. I spent the rest of the day in the dorm, doing homework in my room and laundry downstairs. Even with nothing but boring chores to do, it was still better than spending time with Zack Bartlett.
Sunday came and went. I helped out at the orphanage like always. I watched the elite and well-to-do parishioners come and go. I didn’t see Caleb anywhere. I didn’t really think he’d be there. He did say that only his family went to Mass every week, not him. I was hoping to see him, though. I felt bad about my behavior and wanted to apologize for cutting his and Lucy’s day short.
Monday came around and Caleb was still nowhere to be found. He missed both of the classes we had together. I didn’t know if he was sick or busy or just trying to avoid me. I didn’t have his phone number so I couldn’t call. As much as I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t mad at me, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to his dorm. I was not going to talk to Zack again. I had a hard enough time dodging him in the one class we shared. Lunchtime wasn’t all that pleasant, either. I had to watch him and his friends being lou
d and obnoxious while skanky girls hung all over them. It was disgusting. What made it worse was that he kept looking over at me, watching me. I didn’t know what his problem was, but I wasn’t going to find out.
I did have a chance to apologize to Lucy. She was really sweet about the whole thing. She didn’t make me feel bad or anything. After school I went straight to St. Matthew’s. I hurried through my work, and for the first time since school started, I got back to my room before nine o’clock.
Caleb was back in class on Tuesday. I was glad to see him. He didn’t seem mad at me at all, so I just let it be. I didn’t apologize or anything. I didn’t want to bring Saturday back up. After class Caleb went to find Lucy for lunch. It kind of seemed like they were becoming a thing. I knew it wasn’t official yet or anything, but I still thought it was great. They both were really nice people and should be happy. Just like every day, the three of us went through the lunch line and back to our secluded little table.
“Hey, Liz,” Caleb said. “I hate to bring up a sore subject, but Zack wanted me to invite you to his track meet this Saturday. I thought maybe you could come too, Lucy.” There he was again, Caleb the planner.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It would just end badly,” I said apologetically.
“Come on, Liz. It won’t be that bad,” Caleb promised.
“I don’t understand why he’d want me to go anyway. Last time we were together I shot him. I think that’s bad enough.”
“Oh, Liz,” Lucy said. “Ya already said it was an accident. Plus it’s a track meet. How dangerous can that be? Please come.”
“I’m sorry. I still don’t understand. We don’t even get along.”
“Liz, isn’t it obvious? He’s interested in you,” Caleb confided.
“I seriously doubt that.”
“Liz, it’s true,” Lucy confirmed. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Then he’s not only a jerk, he’s an idiot too,” I snapped.
“Look, Liz, here it is, okay?” Caleb said. “Zack likes attention. He’s used to it. You don’t give him any. It drives him crazy.”
Caleb’s summary only left me with more questions. “Then he’s insane. But if you guys really want me to go, then I’ll go,” I yielded.
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