by Anne Davies
Some of the places I hear of down in Perth are just words to me, but I remember Fremantle. Dad had relatives down there, and we’d stayed with them for a week on holiday once. I’d only been about five or six, but lots of that time was stuck in my brain. We’d gone out in someone’s fishing boat, had fish and chips on the beach and wandered around the place a lot. It was full of little shops and laneways and cafés. Dad said it was much better than Perth itself because it had a European flavour. I didn’t really know what that meant. I thought it meant the food was different. The streets were full of people having coffee, sitting in the sunshine and just having a good time, it seemed to me.
There were lots of Italians, and I remember how happy Dad had been talking with his friends and family. It had felt funny to see that he belonged to someone other than us, but those people were so friendly. I’d never been hugged and kissed or chucked around and swung up on shoulders so much. If ever I get out of here, I’ll go there again.
I turn back to Mr Robinson’s voice. “So, boys, the only way we’ll beat them is to go out there and play as a team. I know you tend to rely on Archie.” He pauses as kids reach across and pat Archie’s back and laugh at his obvious embarrassment, and then he goes on, “but we can’t go out there as a one-man wonder. We’re a team, and everyone has a part to play.
“Now this Kwinana team will have strategies they use every week so that every player knows exactly what to do. No random kicks hoping they’ll lob somewhere in the right direction, but planned moves. Good footballers use their brains, not just their bodies. I’m going to be here every afternoon for the next two weeks, and Mr Khan has given permission for you boys to train instead of going to afternoon lockdown after trades.”
We whoop with joy. Every day! Outside, running around instead of stuck in our cells. I wonder how they’d managed to get enough staff to be on during all those training afternoons. Maybe they want us to win the game as much as we do.
We all jog back to the gym, and a couple of guards are jogging with us. There is a new guy I haven’t seen before. He’s bigger than most of the other guards—not taller, but it’s easy to see that he works out. His head is shaved, and I can’t see his eyes because he’s wearing sunglasses, but his jaw juts out, square and aggro-looking.
Archie flicks a look at him too. “Steroids.”
“How do you know?”
“Look at that jaw. I dunno; they just get a look.” The guard turns as we watch him, and he pushes aside a couple of boys at the back of the pack, moving through to where Aaron is. He stops and says something to Aaron, his big beefy hand resting on Aaron’s back.
Archie frowns. “Bit too friendly.” We push through into the gym and lose sight of Aaron, and in the rush of showers and changing, I forget all about the guard.
Everyone is pretty pumped up that day, full of talk about the game coming up. We cluster in the rec room, and the guards wander past, checking us out casually through the observation windows every now and then. I catch a glimpse of that guard again, just standing there, looking at us.
“Think I’ll give the gym a miss today,” says Archie. “I’m stuffed.”
“Same here.” I’m fine, but I feel like company. Dangerous. “Arch,” I say, before my brain can stop my mouth, “where you from?”
Archie glances at me from those deep-set eyes. “Up around Carnarvon way.”
“What’s it like there? I’ve never been further north than Northampton.”
Archie stretches out in a corner on an old beanbag and closes his eyes. “Beautiful. Black-fella country. The dirt’s red, the sky’s always blue, it’s always warm, but there’s plenty of rain when you need it. Not too many buildings.”
“Your family still up there?” I hold my breath after I speak. Shit, what if he asks me about mine?
“Yeah. Most of ’em. Some have drifted down to Perth, but I’ve got plenty of cousins, aunties and uncles up around there. Much better place to live than down in Perth.” He pauses and chews on his thumbnail for a minute.
“So you’ve got brothers and sisters?” Better to get this away from parents. His face brightens, and he nods vigorously.
“Eight of ’em!”
“Bloody hell!” I laugh.
“I’m an uncle already. My sister Charlene has two little boys, and my oldest brother, Raymond, has a daughter. He lives up in Broome. I wouldn’t mind going up there one day.”
“Nine kids is a lot of work for one woman.”
“Yeah, I guess so. I think Mum wanted to have a big family to make up for what happened to her mum.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“They never talk about it, but my cousin Bella told me that our grandmother Rosie was a half-caste. That’s what they used to call Aboriginal people who had one white parent. It was easy to see, even when she was old. Her skin was a kind of patchy light brown, and her eyes were… what’s that colour called that’s not brown, not green, not blue?”
“Hazel.”
“That’s it.”
“Who was her father?”
“Christ knows. Some white prick.” He flashes a quick look at me, grinning a little apologetically. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. A prick’s a prick whatever colour he comes in.”
Archie nods. “Back then, they took what they liked. The thing is it ended up being a curse for her.”
“What, the people in her family didn’t like it that she had white blood?”
“No, that wasn’t it. She was just a kid, and her mum had other kids; no one made any difference at all between them. Her stepfather loved her, and she was the oldest, so she helped her mum with the others. When she was about seven or eight, some government people visited the camp and looked at all the kids. No one took much notice. They thought it must be some sort of health check, but the government people picked up four kids and put them in the back of the truck. Rosie was one of them.
“‘It was awful,” Bella told me. ‘They were all screaming, and Rosie’s stepfather ran over and grabbed one of the men. The others knocked him to the ground and kicked him. All the women ran after the truck as it left. Rosie’s mum got her hand through the rails of the truck, but she fell as it sped up. The last she saw of her mum she was kneeling in the road, blood running down her face.’”
“Jesus,” I say, quietly. “Why’d they kidnap them?”
“They’d taken all the kids who looked a bit white. It’s what they did then. They’d take them away from their families, give them a white name and put them in schools run by the church. God knows what my grandmother’s real name was.”
“What happened to her then?”
“Well, she had to stay in there with other girls until she was 14. She learned to read and write a bit but mostly how to clean and cook. Bella said that my grandmother hated the nuns, but she grew to love Jesus even though she couldn’t work out why He was so kind but these women, who said they were doing His work, were so mean. Anyway, she used to ask every new kid who came there if they knew her family, but no one ever did.
“When she got to 14, she was handed over to a family on a station. The wife treated her all right, and my grandmother cleaned the house and looked after the kids. The husband was away a lot, fencing. Anyway, to cut a long story short, he started coming to the little shed she slept in. She was too scared to say anything to the wife. It was too shameful to her, but it wasn’t long before the woman noticed her belly getting bigger. She’d screamed at her and called her a slut, and a day or two later, the man had driven her back to the convent.
“They took her back, but no one spoke to her except to say she was a sinner. All she could think of was that as soon as the baby was born, she’d just leave and the two of them would keep walking till she got back home. She made little clothes for it, but as soon as it was born—and I say ‘it’ because the nurse threw a cloth over her face so she couldn’t see whether it was a girl or boy—they took it away. As much as my grandmother cried and pleaded with them, she ne
ver saw her baby, that day or ever.”
Archie shakes his head slowly. “Bastards. As soon as my grandmother was strong enough, she climbed out a window and just kept walking. She knew to go north, and eventually she landed in Carnarvon. She wandered around, looking for her people, but they were all gone. The town had spread, and there was a banana plantation where the camp used to be. Somebody told her that her mother had died.
“She never found any of her family again. There were different mobs further inland, and she lived with one of them and eventually had Mum and four other kids. Bella said she still cried over her first one, though, right up until she died.
“Mum’s done her best with us, but it hasn’t been easy. I just want to get out of here, go home and look after her proper. Maybe get a job around home or go up North for a while and make some money.” Archie stops talking for a while, and then he turns to me, his eyes very dark. “I’ve gotta get out of here, Luca. It’s driving me mad. I know I haven’t got long to go, but being inside like this is killing me. I’m used to sleeping outside. Even though Mum’s got an old house on the edge of Carnarvon, we nearly all sleep outside. I feel like I can’t breathe properly when I’m stuck in that cell. I just need to keep my nose clean, keep away from trouble, keep my head down. One thing wrong, and I won’t get out. One of my cousins kept coming in here and getting into trouble with the guards, and he ended up going to big prison when he turned 18. He couldn’t stand it either.”
“Is he out now?”
He laughs bitterly. “You could say that. He hanged himself the second week he got there.”
We sit there for a while. What can I say after that?
“What are you two knobs looking so sad for?” It’s Aaron, bouncing around from side to side in front of us. He looks hyped up, a big grin on his face, bobbing around like a boxer.
“We’re sad ’cause you’re here, dickhead,” Archie laughs.
“No you’re not. You won’t be sad in a minute, anyway.” Aaron glances at me, his eyes grave for a moment. “Something to tell you, Arch,” he says quietly, his hand across his mouth, pretending to wipe it.
I get up. “Think I’ll go and see if the canteen’s still open.”
Archie’s hand shoots out and grips my arm. “You don’t have to go.” He turns to Aaron. “He’s okay. You can talk in front of him.”
Aaron nods and shrugs slightly apologetically. “Just keep your mouth shut, Luca.”
They both laugh, and I look at them, puzzled. Archie punches my shoulder lightly. “You hardly ever open it! You’re the quietest dude in here.”
“Anyway,” Aaron goes on, “that new guard has been talking to me a bit, and he says he can get some sweet stuff for me, bring it in.”
Archie shakes his head. “Don’t tell me about no drugs. I don’t want to know.”
“What about you, Luca? You must have a fair bit stashed in your account. You never seem to buy much like the other guys. How about something to make the time pass?”
I close my eyes for a moment. No thoughts, just longing—yearning—surges through my brain, and then I crush it, snapping my eyes open. “Not my thing. Thanks anyway.”
“Yeah right,” Aaron smirks. “I saw that look on your face. You want it bad.”
“Maybe, but I’ll never touch it again.” My voice shakes a little.
Archie grabs Aaron’s arm. “Leave it alone. Why’s that guard hanging around you?”
Aaron shrugs. “Just being friendly.”
“Bullshit. He’s after something, and he’s setting a nice little bait for you. You watch him. Keep away from him. He’s a bloody faggot.”
Aaron snorts. “Don’t be stupid. He’s built like a tank.”
“Do you think they all wear frilly dresses?”
Aaron screws his face up. “You’re on the wrong track. He’s an okay guy.”
Archie turns and spits in the corner. “For a smart guy, you sure can be dumb sometimes.”
Aaron shrugs. “More for me.” He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again. “Catch you.” Then he bounces away, boxing lightly into the air.
Archie shakes his head. “I can’t stand drugs. Makes you do crazy things. Them and grog.”
“What drugs have you done, Arch?”
“I haven’t. It was drink that got me in here—drink and being dumb.” He shakes his head, a look of pain crossing his face, and lowers his voice. “I’ve probably done something a lot worse than anyone else in here.” His voice catches in his throat, and he turns away, coughing unconvincingly. “I’ve killed two people, Luca,” he says at last, head down, not meeting my eyes. I don’t breathe. “Most of them are in here for theft or malicious damage, some for assault or even rape, but not too many are in here for causing someone’s death.” I can see his long eyelashes beaded with tears in the harsh light. I wish he’d stop, but he goes on.
“We kids used to run pretty wild. We nicked off from school a lot or just didn’t go at all for weeks, so we had plenty of spare time. When we were younger, it was easy. We were happy just hanging around, maybe swimming or fishing, but when we hit about eleven, we wanted to do more. A few kids sniffed glue, but they just sat around like zombies. There was an older kid, Ryan, and he knew how to break into cars, but I’d never done anything like that.
“When we could though, we’d get older kids to buy beer for us, and we’d drink it even though it tasted like shit at first. We wanted to look tough, like men.” He shoots a quick look at me. “You know how it is. Anyway,” he goes on, sighing deeply, “one night we went to a party at Ryan’s aunty’s place. We snuck heaps of wine and beer without being noticed. We walked into Carnarvon, up the main street, making a racket and kicking bins over. Ryan was jogging from car to car, testing every door, and then we heard him whistle in the darkness. We saw the inside light of a four-wheel drive go on. Someone had forgotten to lock it.
“We crammed into the back seat and next to Ryan, who was under the dash, hotwiring the car. He was a genius at that. Within about 30 seconds, the car started, and we were off down the road. We kept the lights off and drove slowly down the street, did a U-turn at the end near the fascine, and then we were off. Ryan drove pretty fast, and we were all yelling, and then he pulled over, opened the door and spewed.”
“‘You drive for a while,’ he said to me. ‘I feel bad.’ I was so excited. I’d never driven before, but I knew where everything was and this car was automatic. I slid over, and Ryan got in the other side. I pressed the accelerator, and we crunched back onto the road.
“‘Give it the gun, Archie!’ the kids in the back screamed, so I pushed my foot down on that pedal hard, and we jerked forward and roared down the road. It was easy. The road was straight and long, and we just laughed ourselves stupid, the window open, the wind whipping through the car.
“I started feeling a bit sick myself with all that grog sloshing around in my gut, but I didn’t care. I could do anything. Then Ryan shouted above the noise, ‘Slow down!’ I ignored him and put my foot down harder, and all the boys cheered. He tried again. ‘Slow down! The turn off to Perth’s up ahead!’ I jammed my foot on the brakes to slow down, and the car just slid and jerked and rolled. I thought it would never stop. That car just went on and on, sliding and people screaming and…” Archie’s panting now, and his top lip is dotted with sweat. I put my hand out and touch his arm, but he doesn’t seem to know I’m even there.
“I came to in the darkness, the car lights still on and beaming ahead, but inside the car, there was nothing but someone crying in the back. I tried to speak, but something was stopping me, and it took a long time for any sound to come out. When I could finally speak, I whispered as loudly as I could, ‘Jimmy, Ryan, Brett…’ right through all their names, but only one answered apart from the one who said nothing, just kept crying like a puppy whining. I don’t know how much later the ambulance arrived, and then there were lights and noise and voices everywhere.
“I woke up in hospital. My shoulder
and arm were in plaster, but I was okay apart from a bad headache. I asked the nurse how everyone was, and she said the doctor would speak to me. The doctor came in a few minutes later and sat down. I remember his face really well. It was long and sad-looking, and I could see he hadn’t shaved and most of his face had that blue look. I still see it.”
Archie stops, and I see his chest rising and falling fast as he catches his breath. “The doctor said, ‘Well, you’re okay. In fact, you can go home tomorrow. You’ve had a bad bump on your head, but the breaks in your arm are clean. Your friends didn’t do so well. The one called Ryan broke his neck and died at the scene, and another boy died 10 minutes ago. Apart from that, there are concussions, the odd broken bone and internal injuries.’ Then he’d said the words that will stick with me forever: ‘Was it worth the ride?’
“I’d sat there in the bed, saying nothing, his words hammering into me, but I was really only hearing two of them properly just then: ‘Ryan…died.’ I kind of stopped thinking then. I was in some kind of a daze, like my body was working but I was somewhere else.”
Archie lets his head flop back on the headrest of his chair and closes his eyes.
“Me too, Arch,” I say quietly.
He opens his eyes and looks at me. “What do you mean?”
I swallow. “Two people are dead because of me too.”
His eyes widen, and he grips my arm. I feel my bottom lip start trembling out of control, and he blinks fast too. We sit there for a minute, and then he shakes his head, wipes his eyes quickly with the back of his hand and smiles.
“Look at us sitting here like a couple of snivelling old tarts. I’ve never talked so much in my whole life.” We both laugh uncontrollably, and Aaron comes over and says, “What’s the joke?” We find this incredibly funny for some reason, and we’re still laughing, tears of—what?—running down our faces, when the siren rings for us to go back to our cells.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Katy fit right into high school. She loved everything about it, and by Year Nine, there were plenty of boys hanging around her. She was popular and good at sport, especially softball. Life for her seemed perfect.