Daughter of the Earth and Sky
Page 16
“Hera.” My voice was so low that, at first, I thought he hadn’t heard me.
He looked confused. “You think I have feelings for Hera?”
I set my glass down and liquid sloshed over the top, covering my hand in sticky grape juice. “They all looked like her didn’t they? Laurel, Minthe? Everyone else?”
“You don’t.”
His non-answer confirmed my suspicions. “I’m the exact opposite. You keep saying how much you love that I’m not like the rest of the gods, but in the next breath, you can’t be with me because I’m not enough like them. I’m naive and young and not powerful enough—” I broke off with a frustrated sigh. “You want an equal, but you’ve only had that with one person, and it’s not me.”
“Where is this coming from?” Hades’ voice was incredulous.
“Aphrodite—”
Hades groaned. “I should have known.”
“You’re the one who reads the self-help books,” I protested. The whole theory came out in a rush. “It would make sense that Hera hurt you so much that you think you want the exact opposite of her. But really you’re just sabotaging yourself because you’re not over her, so you find fault in the very attributes that attracted you to me because they are so fundamentally unlike her.”
Hades gave me an incredulous look. “I’m sure Aphrodite can twist the facts and rationalize her theory all day, but that’s not what this is. That’s not what we are. I’m not using you to replace her or self-sabotaging or any other nonsense Aphrodite can come up with.”
“Maybe not consciously, but there are so many factors here. How could I ever be sure your feelings for me are real?”
“I love you. That’s real. And if you can’t…” He raised his hands in a helpless gesture. “I can’t lie, Persephone. I’m not really sure what else I can do to convince you. Can’t you just trust me?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Can you grant me the same courtesy?”
Hades drew back, his expression guarded. I could almost see him going over the conversation and linking my words with his. His mouth dropped open. “Oh.”
“You tell me that I’m too young to know what I want, or that my feelings might not be real because you saved me, or you’re in my head, or it makes my mom mad. You twist the facts and rationalize my feelings away. It’s insulting and frustrating and condescending, but I love you anyway.” I paused to let that sink in. “And I just…I need you to hear that tonight. I need you to know that I care about you, and I’d never knowingly do anything that would hurt you, and that no matter what I’ve done—” My voice broke. “No matter what happens, I just…I need you to know that I love you, and I’m sorry—”
Hades grabbed my shoulders. “Nothing he’s made you do is your fault. You’re not going to remember this now, but when we break his charm it should all come back. You aren’t responsible for any of that. You don’t need to apologize to me, and I don’t think any less of you for it.”
I stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
He kissed me on the forehead, and I winced as a pinprick of power surged through me. “I miss you too,” he whispered.
It didn’t occur to me to wonder why he’d said it in present tense. I allowed myself to relax in his embrace, laying my head on his chest, feeling the reassuring beat of his heart beneath my cheek as we swayed with the music.
We danced late into the night, neither wanting to let the other go. I think we both felt like we’d been granted a reprieve of some kind, and we didn’t want to waste it. By some unspoken mutual agreement, we didn’t mention Zeus the whole night.
We were both yawning when we finally left the ballroom. He stopped outside of my room, looking like he wanted to say something, but instead, leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead.
I touched my hand to my forehead, smiling to myself as I closed the door.
Now to get to work.
Chapter XXII
I didn’t have much time. My head was already hurting from the added strain of the Reapers’ powers. I figured I had until morning before Hades either realized what was going on with all the Reapers or their power burned through me. Before that happened, there was something I needed to fix.
My mind replayed the conversation between me and Joel while I changed. What if he was right about humans having soul mates? If Orpheus and Eurydice were two parts of the same soul, that would completely change how I’d been trying to heal her.
I teleported to Tartarus and stepped into Memorial Park. It was late. The moon was shining over the lake, casting an eerie light to the rest of the park. I swallowed hard. I was safer in the Underworld, but I needed to set something right. My life had spun so far out of control in these last few months that I didn’t even recognize it as mine anymore. But it could be over in the morning. The very least I could do was make amends where I could.
My eyes closed as the park swirled around me. The breeze hardened and shifted, the scent changing from flowers and moonlight to gasoline and asphalt. Music filled the air, pulsing with a steady beat. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the front door of the local restaurant and brewery, Terrapin.
I pushed open the door, gaze intent on the stage. Orpheus saw me through the crowd, and held up his index finger to indicate he’d be down in a minute. I put a hand to my forehead and took a deep breath. It was hard to focus, my vision kept swimming.
My gaze caught on a flash of red hair. Aphrodite. She was dancing with some guy in a way that bordered on pornographic. My jaw dropped when I recognized who her partner was.
“Joel.”
I didn’t think I’d said his name very loud, especially against the sound of Orpheus singing and the noise of the crowd pressed around me, but they both turned when I said his name.
“Persephone!” Aphrodite broke away from Joel. “What are you doing here?”
“Persephone?” Joel looked at Aphrodite with confusion. “Huh?”
“Right. I meant Kora.” She laughed. “Don’t remember that I called her that. In fact, just ignore us.”
Joel’s expression went blank, and he turned to stare at the stage.
I glared at Aphrodite. “You charmed him into dancing with you, didn’t you? How could you, he’s my—” I frowned, not sure what to call Joel. But no matter what he was, I was not okay with Aphrodite charming him.
“What? You can join in.” She grinned at me. “This is fun. Loosen up. Grab a drink, we can—”
“Manipulating people like puppets isn’t fun,” I snapped. Aphrodite drew back, looking at me with surprise. “Let him go, now.”
“You charm Joel all the time!”
“I’m not charming him into doing anything. I’m covering our tracks. It’s different.”
“And our teachers and all your friends at school, was that different too?”
“Yes! I’m not forcing people to do anything that matters, anything they care about.” I was beginning to understand why my mom raised me as a human. She’d never had to explain things like this to me. I could identify the lines that shouldn’t be crossed, maybe even better than she could.
“So why couldn’t I charm the people in the mall into giving me free stuff?”
“Because that’s stealing!”
“I’m a goddess. Accepting offerings is my right—”
“It’s not an offering if it’s not voluntary.”
“Right.” Aphrodite rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. “To think I went almost a whole day without getting a lecture from you on the moral high ground. Do you have any idea how annoying you can be? Look at me.” She grabbed me by the shoulders and glanced over at Joel. “Grow a backbone some other night okay? For now, have fun. Go dance with Joel.” Her grip on me tightened. She looked into my eyes, and everything got blurry for a moment. “You can come by my place later, and we can hash this all out. Sound good?”
She pushed me toward Joel. He looked up, as if surprised to see me.
“Stop,” I muttered, diso
riented. I put my hand to my forehead, wincing at the splitting pain.
“You okay?” Joel stared at me, concern flickering in his blue eyes.
“Just…” I pushed him away from me, trying to think. I’d come here for a reason. What…
Orpheus.
My eyes flew to the stage, but he wasn’t there anymore. I rubbed my eyes and glanced around. I finally spotted him making his way toward us.
“Kora, you’re not looking so good. Did you want me to take you home?” Joel put his hand on my shoulder, and I flinched away from his grasp.
“Don’t.” My head buzzed with the power from the Reapers. I touched the plant on my necklace. It felt warm, like it had too much power running through it to. What was I doing here? Memories of other nights in other bars came flickering back to me. I stared up at Joel, feeling sick. I heard Hades’ voice whispering, “I swear.”
Oh gods. What had I done?
“Kora?” Joel looked alarmed now. “I’m sorry about dancing with Aphrodite. I don’t know why…It wasn’t what it looked like.”
A hand touched my shoulder. I spun around, heart in my throat, expecting to see Aphrodite.
Why was I scared of Aphrodite?
Orpheus removed his hand from my shoulder. “Sorry it took me so long to get away.” His brow furrowed when he saw my face. “You okay?”
“Can you leave?” I asked, finally remembering my purpose. “I want to try something.”
Hope flickered in Orpheus’ eyes. “Absolutely.”
He led me to the door, ignoring a stunned-looking Joel. I caught a glimpse of Aphrodite and quickened my pace.
A camera flashed, and for a second I was blinded by the brightness. Orpheus’ jaw tightened. I gave him an apologetic smile as he pushed open the door. Poor guy couldn’t get any privacy.
Chapter XXIII
Orpheus kept shooting me expectant looks while he drove, but I didn’t say anything. I was too busy cradling my head in my hands and taking deep breaths. When the car stopped, I fumbled for the door handle without looking. It wasn’t until gravel crunched beneath my feet and not asphalt that I looked up and realized we weren’t at the hospital.
“Um…Orpheus?” I glanced around the abandoned parking lot then looked at him, alarms going off in my head. “This isn’t the hospital.”
He gave me an odd look. “I figured we’d teleport there. Visiting hours are over, but if you’d rather charm the nurses…” He opened the car door. “I know you’re not a fan of charming people—”
That ship’s sailed, I realized.
“But it would be a bit more convenient to have my car there.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. Orpheus took me being a goddess into stride almost too well. He knew how to act around gods since his mother was one, and he sometimes forgot I hadn’t been raised with the idea that I was all powerful. I doubted Aphrodite would have thought twice about the unexpected detour to a creepy abandoned parking lot with a mere mortal, so he didn’t expect me to. “Teleporting is fine.”
“Can I ask what’s changed? I mean, with my wife, why you think…” He trailed off, as if afraid of getting his hopes up.
“I heard this myth…” I leaned against the car and explained it as best I could. “I can’t promise trying to heal her like this will work, but it’s worth a shot.”
Orpheus nodded. “I thought you’d given up on us.” He let out his breath slowly. “Your mom kept telling me you hadn’t, but when you stopped coming by the hospital…I thought you were avoiding me. That maybe there was nothing else that could be done.” He looked at me, gaze full of apology. “And all this time, you were doing research, tracking down obscure myths…I…” His voice cracked. “Thank you. Even if this doesn’t work, I owe you everything.”
“Stop,” I whispered. I couldn’t look at him. When was the last time I’d been by the hospital? I couldn’t remember. I took a shuddering breath, blinking back the tears that threatened to brim over. “I haven’t done anything yet. You can thank me if I heal her.”
Orpheus shook his head. He reached out to grab my arm then seemed to think better of it, touching the hood of the car beside my hand instead. “But you have done something. You spoke up for us in the Underworld. You bothered to try healing her, and when nothing worked, you kept looking for solutions. My whole life, I thought all the gods were as cold and distant as my—” He cleared his throat. “You’re different. You care, and you’re a good person.”
I burst into tears. “Sorry,” I gasped, holding up a hand as if I could ward off Orpheus’ concern. I tried to dry my eyes, to compose myself, but the tears just kept falling. I didn’t feel like a good person anymore. My skin crawled with half-remembered memories, and my stomach twisted with guilt. “This myth, I didn’t track it down with research. It was complete coincidence. Before tonight, I can’t think of the last time I thought of you or her at all. I’m not good. I’m keeping something from the one person—” I broke off with a sob. “I’m going to lose everyone. I miss my mom and Melissa, and I don’t know what I’m doing or why or who I’ve become, but it’s like my life is spinning out of control, and all I can do is watch.”
Orpheus hesitated then pulled me into a stiff embrace. I sniffled and tried to catch my breath. I hated this. I felt like all I’d done lately was worry and cry. I needed to act. That’s what tonight was supposed to be about, and instead I was sobbing into Orpheus’ shoulder.
“Oh gods.” I pulled away from him and scrubbed at my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry. That was—”
“It’s fine,” Orpheus reassured me.
“No, it’s not. You’re in a hurry to see your wife, and I’m—”
“I’m actually stalling,” he admitted with a shrug. “Got more than I bargained for, but yeah. Stalling.”
“Why?” My voice was still quivery.
He gave me a look, like he was trying to gauge how close I was to crying again. “I’m scared. What if it doesn’t work? I mean…Should I…The Underworld didn’t seem so bad, and it has to be better than this limbo.” He raised his hands in frustration, freezing when I patted him on the shoulder.
“We can cross that bridge when we get to it. But I really think this has a chance of working.”
“And what if it does?” His shoulders slumped as though he were exhausted. “All I had to do was not look at her. I couldn’t do that, and she’s been stuck, for months! She’s going to hate me.”
“No she won’t! You went through hell and back to save her. You’ve been by her side every day. She’s so lucky to have you!” I grabbed his arm and he jerked back.
“Sorry,” I muttered, stung.
He sighed. “It’s not that. I appreciate what you said. Really, it makes me feel a lot better. I hope she sees things the way you do.” He hesitated. “My mother—erm, Calliope, taught me how to behave around gods at an early age. There are rules and mannerisms and things that protect me from ending up dead or a puppet.”
“You think I’m dangerous.” My hands dropped to my side, and I turned away from him trying not to show how hurt I was. Orpheus had been my idol. When I met him, I’d been giddy and exited and stupid, and I’d been so proud that I actually knew him. I’d never imagined he viewed me as some kind of monster that might attack him at the slightest provocation.
“You’re different. I don’t worry that I’ll say the wrong thing, offend you and end up a constellation.” He gestured up at Orion. “But you’re still dangerous. Hades is a loose cannon, and your mom is scary as hell. It’s just best to avoid any misunderstandings. I don’t know how to act around you. How to treat you.”
“Treat me like I’m a person.”
He gave me a level look. “But you’re not.”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t know how to be anything else. I tried being a ruler like Hades, and I put the whole realm in—” I broke off, unable to go into specifics. I shook my head and continued. “I tried Aphrodite’s way, and it’s just not me. I can’t dis
connect like my mom does. But I suck at being human too. I drove Melissa away, and I just don’t connect with other people. I just…I’m not cut out for this. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.”
Orpheus gave me a wry grin. “I get that.” When I gave him a doubtful look he laughed. “I’m a demigod. I know more about trying to straddle that line between the human and the divine than you ever will.”
I flushed and slid my necklace back and forth on its chain. I’d never considered that either. I just figured my struggle between the realms was unique. There was an entire species that shared my confusion. They actually had it worse than anyone. I was a goddess. Like it or not, I firmly belonged to that world. Demigods didn’t really fit in anywhere …
No, I could think of some who had it worse. Normal humans who knew about the gods. How many books had I read, or movies had I watched, where some normal teenager discovered they were special or had some ability that set them apart? Mortals craved that distinction, that power. They dreamed and wished and wondered. How much would it suck to realize all those things you’d dreamed of and hoped for were real, just not for you?
“I’m no expert, but if you tell me what’s going on, I can offer some perspective,” Orpheus offered.
I shot him a look. “You really are stalling.”
He shrugged. “You sound like you could really use a friend right now. Least I can do.”
I didn’t tell him everything. I couldn’t. But I did tell him what had happened between me and my mom and about my fallout with Melissa. I couldn’t stay still, so I walked while I talked, making odd orbits around Orpheus and the car.
He blinked when I finished, and I laughed. “Didn’t know what you were signing up for, huh?”
“I figured there would be a lot, you’re a goddess. I forgot that you were a teenage girl, though.”
“Oh, thanks.” I grinned to let him know I wasn’t really offended.
He looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. “I can’t give you a lot of advice about your mom. I do believe she had your best interests at heart, however misguided.”