“I want to believe that, but I really need you to be up-front with me. I can’t deal with all the deception and double speak anymore. But I don’t want us to fight anymore, either. I just want…I want my mom back. I feel like…ever since I found out what I am, and what you are, we stopped being…us and became these gods. I just want you to be my mom.”
She pulled me close and gave me a hug. “I can do that.”
I relaxed into her arms. “I know you don’t like Hades—”
“Oh honey, it’s not that. He’s just so much older than you.”
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do. There is so much history between all of us that you just weren’t a part of. Lifetimes, and those lifetimes shape a person. Hades and I weren’t always at odds. Once he was my closest friend.”
I closed my eyes and asked the question I’d been dreading. “Did you two ever…?”
She shook her head, breaking free of our embrace. “We might have had the timing ever been right. But he was hung up on Hera for so long. And then everything with Zeus happened, and after that, we all split up. We were all so angry, so betrayed. Zeus was…He made us hope.”
“What happened between you and Poseidon?”
She stiffened. “Did Hades tell you about that?”
I shook my head. “Poseidon kept bringing you up, and it seemed to really piss Hades off.”
She clutched her magazine so tightly that the pages crumpled. “We were together for a time. I lost interest. He didn’t.” Regret flickered behind her eyes. “He kept following me, trying to make me see reason. I told him I wasn’t interested, and he…” She shrugged. “He doesn’t take no for an answer very well. Never has.” She stood abruptly. “Would you like some cocoa, dear?”
I nodded numbly, processing the words, spoken and unspoken. Concentrating on what she didn’t say. I remembered how weird she’d gotten when I mentioned Poseidon the night I’d had that dream. How Hades had promised he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. The way Hades’ face had contorted with rage when Poseidon mentioned how much I looked like my mother. How he wouldn’t so much as let Poseidon touch me, even to shake hands. “What do you mean Poseidon doesn’t take no for an answer?”
“That’s all ancient history.” Mom waved a dismissive hand. But I already knew what happened. I could read the lingering horror in her face. “You know what’s funny?” She poured the steaming cocoa into a cup and set it in front of me. Her magazine went into the recycling bin, and she reached into the pantry for marshmallows. “Hades helped put me back together afterward. He was so furious with Poseidon, but so kind to me. I think that’s why I lost touch with him. He reminded me of when I was weak. But I know you’re safe with him.” She met my eyes, and I read the message there loud and clear.
“Mom, I love him.”
She sighed. “I understand that you think so—”
“I know so.”
“He saved your life, he’s handsome, he understands you,” she continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “I can see why you would be infatuated.”
I took a deep breath. “I understand and appreciate your concern. But I think you got so used to raising me like a human that you forgot I’m not one. This is not some crush or infatuation. I’m not some human girl you need to have ‘the talk’ with. I’m a goddess. I’ve seen things and done things and had things done to me that no normal person has ever had to deal with. And the only consistent thing through all of that was him. I need you to understand and respect that my feelings are real. Yes, he’s older than me. Yes, he has history that I’m not a part of. But pretty much any god that’s left is going to have that history and be as old as dirt. Age doesn’t matter to immortals any more than genetics. If it were Aphrodite instead of me, would you think anything of it?”
She blinked. “No. I guess I wouldn’t. But Persephone, you’ve got a very long life ahead of you, and I don’t want you to make any decisions now that will impact you—”
“I’m not stupid.” I sighed and grabbed her hands from the table. “I need you to listen to me.”
She squeezed my hands in response. “I’m listening.”
“The way I feel about him now, I get that it may not last forever. I can’t imagine my feelings ever changing, but I’m not going into this blindly.” I sighed, trying to collect my thoughts. “At what point do I get to stop worrying about the way my choices will impact the rest of my life and start living it?” I let go of her hands and raked my hair back. “We’re drifting apart Mom, and I don’t want to look back and wonder what if, not with Hades.”
“Honey, I’ve never seen Hades look at anyone the way he looks at you.” Mom took a sip of her tea. “He won’t mind waiting until you’re ready.”
“It’s not even him I’m worried about; it’s me.” I spoke too fast, all my thoughts pouring out of me in a jumble. “He might be willing to wait centuries until he thinks I’m ready for a serious relationship, but what if I’m not? Mom, I’m different without him. And I don’t mean that in a co-dependent ‘I need him to live’ type way, but to some degree the choices you make and the people you surround yourself with shape who you become, right? I don’t like the person I’m becoming without him.” I took a deep breath. “What if we do wait on pursuing this and the person I become isn’t me anymore. What if I could have been someone else? Someone better.”
Mom took a long sip of her tea. I knew the look on her face well enough not to ask any more questions. She was mulling over everything I’d said and trying to phrase her next sentence. Interrupting her thought process seldom improved things.
“I just worry,” she said finally. “The people he loves always get hurt.”
“Isn’t that kind of true for every god?”
“It doesn’t have to be true for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You don’t want me to get hurt?” I laughed. “Where have you been? My entire life’s shattered, and all that’s left are shards that cut and scrape and slice when I try to put it back together. I am so past hurt.” I blinked back tears. “I’m completely and utterly broken.”
Mom gave me a sympathetic look. “And you think Hades can fix that?”
I shook my head. “No. But fighting you every time I need to lean on him isn’t helping.”
She let out a slow breath. “Touché.” She stared down at her teacup. “You’ve grown so much.” She bit her lip and blinked rapidly. “It’s bittersweet, you know. Watching you become this strong, independent, powerful young woman.” Mom took a deep breath. “There’s this saying, ‘Mother is God in the eyes of a child.’ You used to have absolute faith in me. You looked at me like I had all the answers in the world.” She smiled and stirred her tea. “You cried every time I dropped you off at preschool, and when I picked you up, you’d hold me so tight.” She cleared her throat. “It’s better than worship. It’s potent and pure and utterly addictive.” She raised her eyes and looked at me. “I never wanted to give that up. I never wanted to let you go, but you grew.” Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “And I messed everything up.”
I slid the necklace back and forth on its chain. “Mom—”
“I should have told you, honey. I should have told you what you are. I should have told Hades about Zeus. I should have handled everything differently. I’m sorry.”
I gave her a hug. “I don’t know that I would be who I am if you had handled it differently. I’m sorry I was mad. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She stroked my hair and took a shaky breath. “But you shouldn’t be here.” She pulled away from me. “It’s not safe.”
I looked up at her, surprised. “I was actually going to talk to you about that. I should stay down there until this gets settled. Then you two can focus on finding Zeus. I wanted to go back to my regular life, but I don’t have a regular life, and I just ended up getting in the way.”
“You weren’t in the way.”
“I’m a distraction. You should be looking for those missin
g demigods.”
Mom’s eyebrows shot up. “He really tells you everything, doesn’t he?”
I nodded. “As much as I hate having to hide, I’m doing more harm than good here.”
Mom put her cup on the table and grabbed my hand. “I know it feels like you’ve lost something, and that’s mostly my fault. I let you think you were human, so you’re feeling this loss that’s not real. What you have—” she paused, gaze locking with mine like she wanted to make sure she had my attention “—it’s going to be so much better in time. Once all this craziness ends, you’ll find a new normal. You won’t have to hide in the Underworld your whole life either.”
I nodded. “I hope so. Do I have to go back tonight? If I’m going to be staying there, I’d like to bring a few things this time, and I’m really tired.”
“You’ll go first thing in the morning?” she asked.
I nodded. “As soon as the sun comes up.”
She considered for a moment then nodded. “Goodnight sweetheart, I love you.”
“Love you too.” I gave her another hug and went upstairs to my room feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I unclipped my necklace and slipped into pajamas. I’d made things right with Melissa and Orpheus and my mom. Tomorrow I’d set things right with Joel, and assuming the power from the Reapers didn’t burn through me, Hades would have to realize something was going on. I just had to put up with this headache until then. My heavy eyes closed, and I settled in for what I really hoped would be my first Reaper-free night when a heavy weight dropped into my back.
My head was yanked up by my hair then my sheet was pulled over my head like a hood. A deep voice chuckled, and my blood went cold. I knew that voice.
I flailed, trying to buck him off me, but he pulled the sheets tighter, shoving my face into the pillow. I couldn’t breathe. He straddled me, knees pinning my covers to me like a cocoon. My hands groped at the sheet, trying to pull it off my head so I could breathe, but Thanatos yanked them back.
“What the hell did you do to my Reapers?”
Chapter XXVI
I screamed into the pillow as my shoulders threatened to come out of joint. Thanatos pinned my arms behind my back. I’d teleport, but his grip on my hand insured I would only bring him with me. A shield was useless if he was already touching me. I forced myself to calm down, even though my lungs felt like they were about to burst. I couldn’t die, and he couldn’t have any serious intentions of hurting me or Cassandra would have seen this coming.
“They’re my Reapers now.” My voice was smug, if muffled. The sheets tightened, digging into my throat, and I forced myself to stay calm. “They swore fealty.”
“That can’t work on them. You can’t charm the dead.” He pressed against me, crushing me against the mattress.
I shifted my shoulders in an awkward attempt at a shrug. Pain shot through me, and I gritted my teeth. “I can charm you. It must have trickled down to them.”
“So what? You’re taking over soul collecting now?”
“No, you are. Your Reapers won’t be gathering souls anymore.”
Thanatos laughed. “That would be chaos! Souls would be left in their dead bodies for weeks. You wouldn’t put the souls through that. You care too much.”
I tried to shake my head, but couldn’t manage in the tight space. I felt dizzy, breathing in my own air. Pain ricocheted though my body. Why was I in so much pain? “Either way, I win. If you can’t keep up with the souls, Hades will know something’s up.”
“And if I can?”
I fully believed he could. My promise wouldn’t have allowed me to do this much if I didn’t. Just like I knew he wasn’t going to slip and get Cassandra’s attention. However angry he got, he’d keep his mind focused. “You’ll be too busy to cause trouble. I never promised to make life easy for you.”
He shifted, body pressing mine into the bed. “I’m supposed to bring you to Zeus.”
I struggled to maintain consciousness. “You wouldn’t dare. Cassandra will see.”
“Cassandra’s busy.”
So why was I still here? I swallowed hard. “Doesn’t matter. You won’t risk Zeus finding out you’ve lost control of your army. If he has me, what possible use could he have for you?”
Thanatos’ grip tightened, and I knew I’d hit a mark. He pulled me back by my hair and slammed my head into the metal bedpost. I yelped, and stars flooded my vision. “Exactly. I won’t take you to Zeus, and if I leave you here, Hades is going to wonder why you felt the need to charm all the Reapers.”
I smiled. “Checkmate.”
“Not quite.” Triumph surged through Thanatos’ voice. “I just need a way to get rid of you. You made it so easy.”
I struggled to understand him. Thanatos gave a dark laugh. “You don’t realize what you’ve done, do you?”
Static filled the room. I frowned as a voice broke through the radio on my dresser. “And an unnamed source said they saw a blonde, green-eyed, teenage girl leaving her room.”
“Hang on,” the co-anchor interrupted. “Like the jailbait Orpheus was seen leaving with from Terrapin tonight?”
“Hey, yeah. One of our fans just posted her picture on our Facebook page. Looks like it’s already linked to a couple tabloids.”
“Weigh in listeners. We have a miraculous healing and a mysterious girl. Could this be the Persephone that Orpheus keeps raving about?”
“Oh shit,” I whispered.
The co-anchor laughed. “Yeah, sure. I figure she’s just a mistress.”
“Or both!” The anchor chuckled. “Post your opinion at—”
The sound cut off abruptly. My heart pounded in my chest. They had a picture! It was only a matter of time before they found where I lived. Or the shop, Demeter’s Garden. Couldn’t my mom have picked a less obvious name?
Last year Orpheus had told the world about me, and I’d nearly died. I didn’t want to wait to see what would happen if people had an image to focus their energies. They wouldn’t just be worshiping the idea of me. They’d be worshiping me.
“You’re going to let me die.” I realized. Typically gods only died from lack of worship, not too much. But I hadn’t come into my powers yet. My body wasn’t ready to handle powers. If Hades didn’t channel the excess powers away, I could unravel. Die.
“That’s the idea.”
I threw my head back, hoping to catch Thanatos off guard, but he was ready. His hand twisted in my hair, and he slammed my head into the metal bed post. I opened my mouth to scream, but the sound was whipped out of my mouth as the room swirled around me. Crap! He was teleporting.
Thanatos shoved my face in the sand that materialized beneath us. “Don’t even try to make eye contact.”
I coughed, gagging on the sand. I sputtered, spitting out what I could when I could get a breath of air. I lifted my head to gauge my surroundings and realized we were on a sandbar. Endless ocean surrounded me. I gulped and squirmed beneath him, trying to break free, but only managed to get myself further entrenched in the sand. It scraped at my skin, leaving it raw. I could hear water lapping around us.
“It’s not that I want you to die. I actually liked you. If I thought you could be convinced to swear fealty—”
I spat out sand. “Never!”
“Yeah I figured as much. So I guess it’s just a matter of waiting for you to die.”
He wouldn’t have long to wait. My head was throbbing in time to my heart. Erratic and fast. I needed to get to Hades.
I concentrated through the pain, pouring all of my energy into creating a thorny vine. It raised up, brushed against Thanatos’ leg, and crumbled to dust. He laughed and snapped my wrist. I cried out.
“Have you forgotten that I’m the god of death?” He put pressure on my arm, and pain lanced through my body, sending me into convulsions. I screamed into the sand and pulled on the power of the Reapers to lash out. His grip loosened, and I bucked him off me, rolling away, coughing up sand and gold blood into the oc
ean.
Gold blood? That probably wasn’t a good sign. I got to my feet, whirling to face Thanatos, but he was gone. His foot shot out from nowhere, kicking me squarely in the stomach.
I stumbled backward, coughing as Thanatos rained blows from behind his shield, invisible until he touched me.
I’m going to die. I was strangely calm with this realization. It was probably too late for me to get to Hades. But if I was going down, I was taking Thanatos with me. The next time he lashed out, I grabbed his hand, pulling him from behind his shield. My broken wrist screamed in protest, but I didn’t let him vanish behind the shield. Just one look, just one look into his eyes, and I could charm him. Then this would be over.
“What is going on here?” A familiar voice bellowed.
I looked up in surprise. Thanatos didn’t hesitate. He broke my grip and teleported before I could blink.
Poseidon met my eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I had him! You ruined everything!” I struggled to stay on my feet, cradling my injured hand.
Poseidon raised his blonde eyebrows. “I didn’t get a good look at the other guy, but from here it looked like he was winning.”
He didn’t look like a harmless surfer anymore. He still wasn’t wearing a shirt. I couldn’t believe I’d ever found him attractive. His muscular build brought bile to my throat as I imagined him overpowering my mother. I coughed, gold spittle landing on the sand.
Poseidon’s swore. “You really are a child. That’s why Hades married you, isn’t it? You need him to channel your power. Come on, we don’t have a lot of time.” He stepped onto the beach, and I made a sharp noise.
“Stay back!”
Poseidon furrowed his brow. “I’m helping you.”
“I don’t want to owe you any favors.”
Poseidon rolled his eyes. “You’re not thinking clearly. Look, it wouldn’t be a favor. What do you think would happen if Hades or your mother found your body washed up on my shore? I’m covering my own ass here. Come with me.” He reached out his hand.
“Don’t touch me!”
Daughter of the Earth and Sky Page 19