by Andy Warhol
And then PH called to see what time I was leaving for Washington in the morning, but I got off the phone fast, I didn’t tell her what happened because I couldn’t face it.
She found out, though, I guess, because she called back an hour later and told me she was proud of me and that I was “a great man.” And (laughs) that sure was a first. So that’s that and now I never have to talk about it again.
Thursday, October 31, 1985— New York—Washington, D.C.-New York
Got up at 5 A.M. with my nerves still jumping from the day before. Christopher was picking me up at 7:00. I hadn’t fallen asleep until 2 A.M. and I had to get up so early but somehow I pulled myself out of bed. To have to get right up is so horrible without talking to the Diary for an hour or so, just quietly getting used to it. But I did it and the driver Chris had gotten was nice (driver $40).
And we got to LaGuardia and Craig Nelson was standing out there (magazines $8) and we got the shuttle to Washington. We were picked up at the airport by a lady who had a small car. She took us to a radio show and this guy was supposed to be the neatest guy in town, and it was the most horrible interview. I was still too upset about the night before and I couldn’t think of anything funny, and he wanted to know about the book and I didn’t know anything and he said, “I guess you didn’t write the book,” and I said, “I guess I didn’t.” It was one of his most difficult interviews. He will remember it.
And on these trips, God, I hate Craig so much. He’s there saying, “Andy and I are both interested in sex.” And I’m saying, “Craig, I’m not interested in sex.” I mean, Chris is like a piece of heaven compared to Craig. Although (laughs) actually they’re alike. They just think food food food and what they can take home. Although Craig is fatter. And they’re both pigeon-toed. But Christopher is finally paying his dues, coming with me to these things—he’s not even taking pictures and getting phone numbers, he’s actually working, taking care of me and organizing me.
The lady with the small car drove us to the airport and the plane was late, left at 8:50, and we ran into Susan Mulcahy. She didn’t seem to have heard what had happened to me at Rizzoli, she’d been away from work at the Post I guess, maybe she hadn’t gone in that day, so I didn’t know what to do. When you’re friends with the person are you supposed to tell them and are they then supposed to not write it or what? I didn’t know what you do. So I didn’t say anything and she was self-conscious because I’d caught her down there. I guess maybe she was seeing a person that she’s having an affair with and she was all feminine and looked so pretty, like she was just through with a hard day of making out. So she wasn’t thinking about me, she was worried about herself.
And so then Chris and Craig dropped me off, and I knew when I left the cab that they were going to dish me, even though they don’t get along. Craig’d been telling people what had happened on Wednesday all day. And I was exhausted and I ate garlic bread and went to bed at 1:00.
Friday,November 1, 1985—New York—Detroit—New York
Got up at 5:00, just tortured. Again it was horrible having to wake up and get right up. Christopher picked me up with the same limo service. Craig got out to the airport on his own. Got to the airport around 7:00. Fred’s ex-secretary—Vera, the richest girl from Portugal—was there with a group of rich Mexicans going to Acapulco.
Got the tickets and newspapers for Chris ($7). And I looked at the Daily News and there in Liz Smith’s column was the item on what happened to me, and it was nice, she did it in a nice way. And there was a news story about the hot dog man on 33rd and Park who got attacked by a roving band of kids and his money was stolen and his cart overturned. But the next day he was back on his corner because he had to earn a living, even though he had second- and third-degree burns.
Got on the plane and went to Detroit. There was a fat girl holding up the America book to show she was our driver. About 200 pounds. Sweet. And Detroit is all sprawled out. It looks like L.A. And everybody working everyplace is black. We went to the top floor of this hotel, the dining room overlooking Detroit, and had lunch.
I had to go to the bathroom and there was a black guy there so friendly, it seemed like a sex thing, and I left quickly. And then Craig went to the bathroom and didn’t come back for twenty-five minutes.
And then we went to the Detroit Museum and book-signed there. And the guy who gave that Detroit wedding we went to in the sixties came! And he had the advertisement for it and the old Velvet Underground cover signed by all the Velvets, except, I think, Lou. And my signature’s changed so much since those days. I’d signed it with a ballpoint pen and … the Mick Jaggers I signed with pencil and then after that I always signed with the felt-tips.
Then we went to Bloomington. Sold 400 books and 190 Interviews. Sold everything. Had to leave at 7:30 to get the 8:30 plane. I think people get in line again and become repeaters. And so on the way to the airport, after a whole day of nothing but signing, the girl who’d been driving the car all day suddenly came up with a stack of books that she wanted autographed! It was like a movie scene, really.
Got on the plane. It was a clear beautiful night when we got into New York.
Saturday,November 2, 1985
Everybody’s being so (laughs)nice to me. Nobody mentions what happened on Wednesday.
Sunday,November 3, 1985
I decided not to go to the office, to just stay in. Stephen Sprouse called and said he’d been in L.A. and that there was a store there called “Andy Warhol’s Wigs” and he wanted to know if itwas mine.
Oh, how do you escape this aging factor? My mother was the age I am now, when she came to New York. And at the time I thought she was really old. But then she didn’t die until she was eighty. And she had a lot of energy.
Monday,November 4, 1985
Saw Dr. Li and didn’t tell her about the horrors of the past week, and she checked me out and pulled on my fingers and said I was perfectly aligned. So after what I went through either I’m very strong or (laughs) she is. She said my crystal had been invaded. That it was low on energy and that I had to put it in the sun to recharge it. You put the “share” on with your head back. You can’t be standing up. You throw your eyes back until you see yellowShe’s worried about the same things Bernsohn is—liver, kidneys, large intestineAnd instead of my brother being the invader, I think it was that girl in the bookstore. They’d said my brother was going to invade the crystal soon, and I thought well, maybe, because I’d said things in some interview about my nephew who left the priesthood to marry a Mexican nun and I thought maybe that had made my brother mad. But I think what invaded was the girl.
Li and Bernsohn don’t overlap. Dr. Li is better. She could have gone into crystals but she went into kinesiology and she massages pressure points and she’s a nutritionist.
After work I went in my silver jacket and dark glasses to the benefit for Sloan-Kettering and when I got there the P.R. guy who had been the one calling to see if I was coming took me aside and said, “There’s no card for you, Mr. Warhol.” (laughs) And this is the guy Brigid swore she called to RSVP.
I wound up leaving and actually it was great to leave. But if I hadn’t gone in the first place I could’ve had a nice evening just going to the movies with the kids or something. So that was that.
And Edmund Gaultney went to a real doctor yesterday after going to a homeopathic one for a long time. He’s sick, it’s scary. I don’t know. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started putting gays in concentration camps. All the fags will have to get married so they won’t have to go away to camps. It’ll be like for a green card.
Wednesday,November 6, 1985—New York—Boston
The prices were really low at the Philippa de Menil and Heiner Friedrich auction last night. Thomas Ammann had offered Dagny Corcoran $350,000 for the blue Liz but she thought it would go for $500,000 so she put it in the auction and it didn’t sell, the highest it went was $250,000. And the Jasper Johns that should have gone for $2 million went for $700,000.<
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I don’t know why the de Menils and Dagny didn’t sell the paintings privately, why they put them at auction. Oh, and Philip Johnson bought the Stamps for $150,000. He was bidding against Thomas Ammann. That should’ve gone for $500,000, though.
Wednesday,November 13, 1985—New York
Benjamin picked me up and we went over to Bernsohn’s. And I told him that Dr. Li had said that my crystal and my share had been infiltrated. The difference between a “crystal” and a “share” is that the share is a healing thing, and that’s the round crystal that I wear around my neck. The crystal is a protective thing. Preventative. Although it didn’t help me in the bookstore with that girl. Or maybe it did. I don’t know. I did just keep signing. I didn’t panic.
And the girl who did it called the office yesterday. She said she doesn’t know why she did it. Maybe she’s having a nervous breakdown about it. It’ll probably become the biggest thing in her life, you know?
And then we went to 15th Street and Fifth Avenue to meet Paige at the advertising agency that does the Rose’s Lime Juice ads. They do the ads with the semi-nobodies, and they say they’re really doing well with them. The John Lurie ad they said did even better than the James Mathers one, and this time they wanted a girl. The semi-celebrities get $5,000 and Paige was trying to get it for Tama. I guess it’s Tama who’s made Paige be desperately looking for boyfriends—that attitude. And Paige is demanding to meet John Lurie—she thinks he’s attractive. I guess she’ll go after him as if he were an ad.
Then went back to the office. Worked there till 7:30. The Cabbage Patch Doll guy came by.
Thursday, November 14, 1985
Yoko Ono’s boyfriend or husband Sam called and said Yoko was having an impromptu dinner for Bob Dylan. I invited Sam Bolton, Fred’s secretary, to go with me.
Went home and watched Entertainment Tonight while I got ready. And they had on the thing for Dylan at the Whitney the night before which I hadn’t gone to, but after seeing this program I felt like I had. They were asking all these people how Dylan had influenced them. And I didn’t know that he’s sold thirty million records. Sam picked me up and we went over there (cab $8).
And we had to take off our shoes and now I do, but I had a hole in my sock. And we went in and it really was heavy-duty, everyone in a circle. The food was all store-bought—cut-up chicken. And David Bowie was there and I was disappointed, his suit was too modern. Everybody had champagne but nobody really drank it. Madonna arrived and she had just seen Paul’s movie Mixed Blood because that friend of hers is in it. Bobby. She said she was so relieved her husband Sean wasn’t with her so she could really have fun. And she felt uncomfortable without her shoes because she didn’t have socks—she said she’d feel more comfortable with her top off than her shoes off.
Yoko had Sean bring out a poster for everybody to sign, a donation for someplace, and he looked closely at every signature because he was confused who all the people were.
Friday,November 15, 1985
At 3:00 I went up to Fiorucci because Richard Bernstein was there signing his Megastar book. Divine was with him, dressed like a man (cab $4). Went back to the office. Worked till I had to meet Keith at Nippon with Grace Jones. Took Sam (cab $5).
Grace was waiting for her boyfriend Dolph who’s changed his name from Hans. He’s in town to promote Rocky IV. And Dolph has almost no accent left, and he’s lost twenty-five pounds and Grace says that now his thighs don’t sound like he’s slushing through water when he’s coming toward her. She was so funny, imitating the sound of his legs making the flesh sound. Grace pulled out a big wad of hundreds and was going to pay and then I said that I would (dinner $280).
Monday,November 18, 1985
Oh, and the other day when I was reading in bed Halston dialed my number by mistake and asked for Bianca, so when I recognized his voice I said, “Oh yes, she’s right here in bed with me.” So that was funny.
Cornelia called and said I should pick her up for the Marty Raynes dinner at “21.” Every rich guy was at this dinner and all the right models, every ex-model who’d made it. Married a rich guy. Every guy with a million millions, chic, and in black tie with these beautiful girls. Me, I was a mess. They had caviar by the truckload. I ate everything because I was nervous. Dropped Cornelia off. And just as we were arriving at the Olympic Tower where she’s living now, so was Khashoggi, and she had never met him and neither had I. She’s a friend of his daughter, Nubila’s. And he’s a big guy. He doesn’t look foreign. Really big. He was nice.
Wednesday,November 20, 1985—Dallas—New York
Up at 6:00 after signing 1,200 books the night before. Went to the airport. I was disappointed that nobody in Dallas wears cowboy hats anymore. The cowboy look is dead, I guess.
Got back to New York. And Chris is so pushy, he said he had a meeting and he’s telling the driver of the limo that I’m paying for that he’s in a big rush, and he tells me I don’t mind getting dropped a couple of blocks from my house and walking, do I. And he booted Craig out, he told him, (laughs) “I’m sorry but you’ll have to take a bus or something” (limo $100).
Chris, by the way, is fat again. He has a two-inch tire around his middle. Because he’s back together with Peter so it’s the homemade pumpkin pies and the apple pies.
Thursday, November 21, 1985
Picked up by Benjamin. Walked down Madison. Stopped at the nice chocolate store way in the back of the AT&T building and they gave us some free candy so I hope they make it.
Edmund Gaultney came in and he’s put some weight back on and he’s looking good again. He’s off macrobiotic. Peter Wise is cooking food for him.
And then the Sacklers were doing this thing at the Metropolitan Club and I was figuring out who to bring, and I should have brought Dr. Li, I guess, because I wound up sitting with Dr. Linus Pauling, but I brought Paige and she had a really good time. Dr. Karen Burke would’ve been all over every man and the wives would’ve gotten mad at her. There’s nobody to go after portraits for me, though. We’re still missing a Bob Colacello.
So cabbed to the Metropolitan Club ($5). And there’s Paige sitting downstairs in the hallway. Those horrible doormen there wouldn’t let her in because she didn’t have a fur coat! And we ran into Richard Johnson who works at the Post and he said that Susan Mulcahy just quit. He would be a good eligible person to invite on our blind-date nights.
And Dr. Pauling took my arm, he was getting an award. Upstairs I was next to Jill Sadder, across from Martha Graham, and Jill said, “Martha’s been dying to meet Linus Pauling for years and now she’s next to him and doesn’t know it.”
I met a man who said he invented vitamin B or C.
And Dr. Pauling was telling us that the only real killer is sugar, and then Paige and I were dumbfounded later when they brought dessert and he sat there eating all these cookies. Paige dropped me off.
Sunday,November 24, 1985
Jean Michel hasn’t called me in a month, so I guess it’s really over. He went to Hawaii and Japan, but now he’s just in L.A. so you’d think he’d call. But maybe he’s getting tight, maybe he’s not throwing money around the way he used to. I heard he locked the door to his bedroom when he left so Shenge can’t get in, and he didn’t leave him any money, either. Can you imagine being married to Jean Michel? You’d be on pins and needles your whole life.
Then Philip Johnson had gone to Dallas and David Whitney was having a dinner for Michael Heizer and me at Odeon (cab $8). David was having his first of about seven martinis and a beer. And he was talking again about “when Pops pops off.” But David will probably pop off before Pops. He wears the same glasses that Philip does, now. He looks like Philip did twenty years ago when I first met him. And David did Mike Heizer’s show at the Whitney, and he did my show, and next he’s doing Eric Fischl’s, who’s the hot new top artist, I guess.
Wednesday,November 27, 1985
I ran into the model I fixed Paige up with and gee, he’s so good-looking. Paige said that he was
just an airhead, but here is this beautiful boy with muscles and a chest and perfect teeth and from New Jersey and you could mold him into anything, get him started reading or anything.
Thursday, November 28, 1985
Victor called and said that Halston was inviting me for Thanksgiving dinner, and that he had a possible portrait coming. And I called Paige and she picked me up and we went over to Halston’s and Jane Holzer was there and Bianca was looking soulful on her crutches, I told her about Dr. Li because she’s going to a homeopathic thing and they can be dangerous if it’s not the right one. And then this lady was there and she said she had a check in her bag for $999 million to give to Revlon. She said she’d been meeting with lawyers all day and we said how could you get them on Thanksgiving, and she said, “Money talks.”
Halston always has the best mince pie with a circle in the center—I don’t know where he gets it. Nobody ever eats it, and he’s the one who likes it but he doesn’t eat it, either. Then Paige walked me home and I watched TV.
Saturday,November 30, 1985
Got up and went down to the kitchen and ate the turkey that Nena and Aurora had cooked. I was going to call Dr. Karen but I couldn’t face being tortured with collagen needles. I didn’t even call to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving.
So I’m at the office and the phone rings and it’s Geri Miller calling from the women’s shelter and she goes back and forth from “You scumbag!” to being sweet. And she’s screaming in the background calling some policeman “You nigger!” and I could hear him getting mad and then later she’s screaming at this social worker, “You black lesbian nigger, get away from me!” And she’s saying that Mario Cuomo is her father—the other day she called and said Muhammad Ali was—and then she knows everything—like she knew the cover I did of Cuomo for Manhattan, inc. magazine. And she’s saying, “He has a birthmark there and I have a birthmark there, so he’s my father!” It’s like talking to Crazy Matty. And they both have all this energy. She said, “When you saw me on the street I was working in real estate for Alice Mason.” That’s exactly what she said. And I have a funny feeling she’s a young senile person. After seeing these Donahue shows. Because she says they say it’s schizophrenia, but I don’t think so. A Jewish girl who came from New Jersey—in her Trash days she was our most sensible superstar—then in the seventies she suddenly got crazy. One day she was very down to earth, worrying about her topless dancing career, and then the next week she showed up barefoot at 860, saying that the Mafia gave her LSD because she knew too much! From working in all those topless bars they own on 45th Street, I guess.