“I understand, Lily,” her mom said, sounding more like herself. “I know I sometimes say more than I should. It’s hard for me to think that my girls don’t need me anymore.”
“Oh, we definitely need you, Mom,” she laughed. “Not always in the ways you think we do, but I know you and Dad are always there for me, and that’s what I need more than anything.”
Her mother’s silence told her she had said the right thing. Mom had never been one to cry in front of them, even though they all knew when she felt like it. Deciding to let her mother off the hook, she changed the subject and told her all about Devin.
Letting her mother in on her current love interest, Lily felt she had redeemed herself for her silence concerning Marty. She listened to her mother’s concerns without trying to defend herself about getting involved with someone so soon after Marty, dating someone she worked with, and her mother’s reaction when she told her the name of the church where Devin attended--one that was a bit more on the charismatic side than what she had been raised with.
Lily had learned a long time ago to let her mom talk out her initial feelings without needing to be defensive. Once her mom had the chance to meet Devin and see that he treated her well and that she was happy, she would be more supportive. For now Lily let her be Mom.
“I’ll be sure to bring him by if we get engaged or anything,” she teased her. “And you’ll want to use your best dishes and your favorite centerpiece. Devin will appreciate it more than most of those doctors you try and set me up with.”
“A man with taste, huh?” her mother replied, sounding more eager to meet him. “Well, I’m sure you know what you’re doing, honey. Don’t let my silly concerns get in the way. I only like to think out loud.”
“I know, Mom. Don’t worry. God is taking care of my heart. If He can get me through letting Marty go, I know He can help me know if Devin is right for me.”
After her mom let her go, she spent some time trying to discern how God might be leading her at this point concerning Devin. She felt at peace about dating him, and she knew she was enjoying their time together. Devin had all the qualities she was looking for, and she could imagine falling in love with him.
Being with Devin fit in well with her life certainly. She saw him almost every day, and he didn’t seem to be too busy to give adequate time to their relationship. He was willing to give her the time and space she needed, but he was also being honest about how he felt about her. What they had was good on every level she could think of, and she supposed she was going to have to wait and see if that continued and how their relationship progressed from here.
She wanted to follow her heart and allow Jesus to lead her, believing that His plans for her were the best plans. And she didn’t have any reason to believe that Devin wasn’t the answer to her prayers for a husband and a lifetime of happiness.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
After only two days of thinking about Josie’s invitation, Lily decided to go to California over Spring Break. She knew Josie was feeling apprehensive about meeting Mark’s family and would appreciate the moral support, and she had never been to Lake Tahoe before. That was two good reasons to go along.
Devin seemed a bit disappointed on Saturday when she told him she would be away during the break. They had talked tentatively about going to the beach one day, and she supposed he had plans to see her several other days also, but he understood her need to be with her friend. Hearing she would be coming back on Thursday evening because Josie had to be back at work on Friday, Devin suggested they could still go to the beach then, and she promised him he could have the whole weekend with her before school resumed on Monday.
The week before the break, Lily had several superb days with Max. He did very well on his math assessment test that he took along with the rest of the class on Wednesday. She had been working hard with him on his addition and subtraction and was thrilled when she graded his paper and saw that, of the ones he had completed, he had gotten them all right. He couldn’t think quickly enough to do as many in the limited time as some of his classmates, but for him and his abilities, he did fantastic.
She had also been working with him on his reading comprehension. Max was an exceptional reader, knowing all the sight-words expected for a boy his age plus many more, but if she asked him to explain anything he read, he usually wasn’t able to. On Thursday she spent some extra time reading with him in the small loft in the corner of the classroom while the class was working on an activity that would have little meaning or benefit for him.
They were reading one of his favorite Dr. Seuss books. He read the first few pages in his usual monotone voice, running some of the words together because he was so familiar with them. She had him slow down, praising him when he read the next page much better. She was about to turn the page, feeling tired from the long day, when Max suddenly exclaimed his thoughts.
“Look, Miss Sulwivin. It’s a Cat in the Hat coming to play!”
She smiled, feeling her throat constrict and her eyes fill with tears. “That’s right, Max. He’s coming to play. Let’s see how he wants to play, okay?”
“Okay,” he laughed. “He wants to play!”
They read the remaining pages, with Max discovering many new things in the pictures he hadn’t paid attention to before. Lily knew he had understood more all along than he had expressed. Once again she was reminded that she never knew for certain how much Max learned on any given day. Some days seemed like a total waste, but then later she would realize he had understood more about something than she had thought at the time.
That evening Devin took her out to dinner, and she shared about her exciting day with Max. Devin always listened with great interest whenever she talked about the special boy.
“I may talk to Sherry about getting Max in my class next year,” he said, setting his fork aside and drinking the last of his water. “Would that bother you?”
“Bother me?” she asked, not sure why he would ask.
“Would you be comfortable working in the same classroom with me?”
“Because we’re dating, or if things don’t work out?”
“Either way,” he said, leaning across the table and reaching out his hand. She had finished eating and laid her fingers in his warm palm. “If things progress as I hope they will, do you think you could stand being around me all day? Or, if we decide this isn’t meant to be between us, would being around me be too difficult for you?”
She considered his question thoughtfully. He did have a point on either count. “I might have to think about that,” she said. “Although, I know Max would love you. I’d hate for my personal feelings to get in the way of him having a great teacher.”
“We’ve got some time to think about it,” he said. “No need to complicate things between us this soon in our relationship.”
She smiled at his choice of words. The reality that she was actually dating Devin Taylor hit her once again. He considered them to be a couple--to be in a relationship. She had dreamed about this for so long, and now it was happening.
Their waitress came to take their plates and ask if they wanted dessert. They both declined, and Devin paid for the meal before they left the restaurant and stepped outside into the mild spring air. Lily felt Devin take her hand and lead them back to his car. After unlocking the door with the remote device, he met her gaze rather than reaching to open it. In the semi-darkness of the evening, Devin leaned toward her and didn’t give her a chance to stop their lips from meeting. This time she wasn’t thinking about Marty. His touch was too sudden and intense for her to be thinking about anything except how great it felt to be in his arms and to be kissed by him.
She smiled at him when he stepped back, and he smiled in return. They drove back to her apartment, and Devin came inside when she invited him to. They wouldn’t be seeing each other tomorrow night because she was leaving for California after school. She considered not going. Spending several days with Devin next week sounded tempting, but she had alrea
dy promised Josie and didn’t want to back out on her friend. And she felt drawn to go on the trip for other possible reasons too. She wasn’t sure what she might encounter on the journey, but she couldn't ignore that strong feeling.
Devin kissed her again when she walked him to the door at nine-thirty, slowly and tenderly. He was so loving and easy to be with. She felt dizzy when he pulled away, and he said something that made her feel so special.
“I’ll be thinking about you every day that you’re gone, and next Friday you’re all mine.”
She smiled, and he detached himself from her to put on his coat and say good-night before letting himself out. Closing the door behind him, she sighed and leaned against it, feeling dazed and happy.
She wrote about Devin in her journal before going to sleep that night. She hadn’t allowed herself to put her feelings about him on paper until now. She didn’t want to write about him until she knew her feelings weren’t based on a fantasy. Tonight every word wasn’t wishful thinking, but the reality of how Devin made her feel. In the final paragraph of the third page she wrote:
I feel eighteen again. I never thought back then that Marty could really like me, and I wasted a lot of months telling myself it was too good to be true, holding on to my heart instead of letting Marty have it. This time I’m not going to do that. I will give myself the freedom to fall in love with Devin and let him shower me with all the love he wants to give me. He could be the one I have been waiting for, and I don’t want to waste any more time! For better or for worse I am going to let myself believe in a dream come true.
The following afternoon Devin caught her briefly before she left. She needed to meet Josie at her apartment within the hour, so she didn’t have much time to give him, but she allowed him a few moments in the privacy of her car. He told her to have a nice time and then kissed her once more.
He remained in her thoughts as she went to meet Josie, they rode to the airport in Mark’s car, and as they waited for boarding to begin. Josie noticed her carefree spirit and starry-eyed look.
“Lily Sullivan, do have something you want to tell me? That is the third time I’ve heard you humming this afternoon.”
She felt her cheeks flush and couldn’t hold back a smile. Whispering her secret in Josie’s ear, the reality of her words hit her once again, making her giggle and smile more broadly.
“That good, huh?”
She lifted her eyebrows and nodded. “That good.”
“What’s that good?” Mark asked, leaning in front of Josie to get the scoop.
Lily giggled again. Normally she would be more private about such things, but she honestly didn’t care if Josie told him.
“Girl stuff,” Josie said, patting her boyfriend’s knee. “Go back to your reading.”
“Why do I get the feeling this weekend is going to be one big mystery to me with the two of you together?”
Josie leaned over and kissed Mark’s cheek. “Accepting that fact now will make it easier, honey.”
Mark shook his head and went back to his medical journal. Once they were on the plane and waiting for everyone to board, Josie inquired some more about Devin. They were sitting across the aisle from Mark and Tommy. Josie had arranged it that way, sharing privately with her that she hoped this trip would give Mark and Tommy some good male-bonding time together, something she felt was lacking in the three-way relationship.
Lily told her about going to Devin’s house and letting him cook her dinner. She also listed off all the things they had in common. Josie was excited for her and told her she hoped things continued to go well. Once they were in the air, their conversation moved to other topics. It wasn’t until the flight attendants collected their drink cups and the pilot announced their descent into Sacramento that Lily sensed Josie’s anxiety concerning one of the purposes of this trip--meeting Mark’s parents.
“It’ll be okay,” Lily said, giving Josie’s hand a supportive squeeze. “You are one of the sweetest people I know, Josie. I’m sure Mark’s family will think so too.”
“Thanks,” she said. “And thanks for coming along. I feel better having you here. I hope you know that.”
She smiled. “I know you would do the same for me.”
Josie smiled too but took another deep breath.
“And don’t forget that great guy across the aisle will be by your side. He cares about you. I’ve always seen that in him.”
Josie glanced at Mark. “I know. Me too.”
Mark caught them both looking at him and smiled. Once they had landed and were walking up the gate extension to the terminal, Mark caught them whispering to each other again and his curiosity got the better of him. Josie had only told her she needed to find a bathroom as soon as possible, but Mark assumed otherwise.
“Does all this whispering have something to do with my brother?”
Lily turned her head and caught Mark’s teasing smile. She didn’t know what to say. Neither she nor Josie had mentioned Peter even once since that day at the rink when Josie said they weren’t going to be seeing him while they were here.
“No,” Josie said, playfully elbowing Mark in the stomach to keep him from listening in on their conversation. “I said I need to find a bathroom.”
“Oh,” he said. “Now that I can help you with. There should be one close by.”
“Good,” Josie said. “I forgot I had that cup of coffee while we were waiting to board in Portland. I shouldn’t have had a Sprite on the plane too.”
They entered the terminal, and Mark spotted a restroom right on the other side of the concourse. Tommy had to go too, and Mark took him into the men’s room while they went to the ladies’ side. Heading for the baggage claim area a few minutes later, Lily and Josie walked beside each other with Mark and Tommy ahead of them.
“Did I tell you Peter can make it this weekend after all?” Mark said, turning back to inform them of the news. “His schedule got changed earlier this week and he ended up getting this weekend off.”
Lily kept walking but felt the blood drain from her face. She had not prepared herself to see him and wasn’t certain why the news troubled her, but it did.
“Oh, good,” Josie said. “That will give the two of you some more time together. Is he going to be there tonight?”
Lily hoped he wouldn’t be there until tomorrow. That would give her some time to get used to the idea and sort out her conflicting emotions.
“He said he would be there for dinner,” Mark said. “And he’ll probably stay all weekend. No need for him to drive back and forth.”
While they waited for their bags to come around the belt in the baggage claim area, Lily found a support beam close by to lean against. Josie and Mark were talking and didn’t notice. Lily hadn’t told anyone, but over the last several weeks she had thought about Peter many times.
She didn’t know why. Having thoughts about him after all this time made no sense, especially now that she and Devin were officially together. Other than her initial attraction to him at the concert in December, that had quickly been replaced by her rekindled feelings for Marty, she had no reason to be thinking about him at all, let alone the kind of feelings the mere thought of him often stirred in her soul. She had spent one evening with him and an hour one afternoon. That was it. But he had undeniably remained in her heart.
She spotted the bags coming around the conveyor belt, and she stepped forward to scan the items for her small blue suitcase. Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now. If I had known we would be seeing him, I would have stayed in Portland, but it’s a little late for that solution. I guess I have to hope he hasn’t been thinking about me too. I don’t think I can handle having to tell him I let Marty go but that I’m still not interested in him because I’m seeing someone else. Rejecting him once was hard enough.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mark picked up a rental car after they had their luggage and drove them from the airport to his hometown an hour east of Sacramento. He exited the highway and drove down
Main Street in Placerville. Lily thought the Old West look and feel of the small town had a certain appeal. She didn’t know what Mark and Josie’s plans were for the weekend, but she thought the storefronts of several antique stores looked inviting and hoped they could check them out either tomorrow or Sunday before they left to visit Josie’s sister in South Lake Tahoe.
The air felt noticeably warmer here than in Portland as they stepped from the car to the house only a few minutes away from the downtown area. Lily didn’t even need to put on her jacket. She followed Mark, Josie, and Tommy up the front steps of the historic home, wondering if the dark blue truck parked in the sloped driveway belonged to Peter.
Mark led them all inside and told them to put their things in the front parlor for now. He would find out where his mom wanted them all sleeping. Lily, Josie, and Tommy remained in the small front room while Mark went to find his family. Lily noticed some wonderful antique furniture in the charming room and liked the way Mark’s mother, she assumed, had the old-fashioned room arranged. She had always thought she would like to own an older home like this someday, something with character and a vintage appeal similar to the homes in Portland’s older neighborhoods.
“Are you okay?” she asked her petrified-looking friend. She had noticed Josie being quiet on the drive here.
Josie took a deep breath and sighed, then went to stop Tommy from climbing on an antique rocking horse that looked appealing to the five-year-old, but probably would not withstand his weight.
“Ask before you touch anything, okay?” she said gently but firmly to her son.
Tommy came to stand beside her, wiping his runny nose on his sleeve while Josie searched for a tissue in her purse. Mark returned with his parents close behind. Introductions were made and Josie acted more than gracious toward Mark’s parents, but Lily sensed his mother’s apprehension toward her friend.
“Well,” Mark’s mother said, glancing at Tommy and then back to Josie. “I suppose we’ll have to get the old cot out of the basement. Other than that, your rooms are ready. Right this way.”
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