Once they had calmed down, Lily finally removed Peter’s oversized jacket and changed into her pajamas. They both got into their beds, and Lily thought it might be best to get some sleep and try to sort this out tomorrow, but Josie forced herself to be serious and start helping her analyze the situation.
“Okay, you really like Devin, right?”
Of course I do! “Yes,” she replied calmly.
“And you liked him way before you ever met Peter, right?”
“Right.”
“And Devin kissed you first, right?”
Lily started to agree, but then retracted. “Well, actually, Peter kissed me first.”
Josie silently demanded an explanation. Lily resisted the urge to laugh.
“The night of the concert, Peter kissed me on the cheek and that was before I went out with Devin.”
Josie’s mouth was gaping again. “Lily! You are out of control!”
Lily busted up laughing again.
“Shh!” Josie warned. “Mark is going to come back and send you to Peter’s room!”
Lily flopped back onto her pillow and rolled onto her side. Not realizing how close she was to the edge, she fell onto the floor with a loud thump.
Laughing uncontrollably, Lily heard Josie doing the same. Her sides began to hurt, and she forced herself to stop, wiping moisture from the corners of her eyes. She climbed back into bed and sighed heavily, not knowing if she should laugh or cry. At this point she felt like it didn’t matter either way. She had no idea how she had gotten into this mess, nor how to get out of it.
“Oh, Josie. Things like this don’t happen to me. What is God thinking? What am I supposed to do?”
“Okay,” Josie said, sitting upright and flaring her arms out to the side like she had received Divine inspiration. “I’ve got it! Answer this next question without taking time to think, okay?”
“Okay,” Lily agreed, visualizing her mind as a blank white-board, ready to have the answer to Josie’s question written on it without hesitation.
“Ready?” Josie asked, crossing her legs as if she were preparing to meditate.
“I’m ready,” Lily replied, waiting for her friend’s perfect question that could sort out this mess--or make her laugh at least.
“Which one can you imagine spending the rest of your life with?”
The name that came to her mind, remained. As if the other one didn’t even exist. And it made her smile. She had spent two years hoping for something to materialize with Devin and it finally had, and things were as wonderful as she had always imagined they would be. But tonight her soul had been touched by someone beyond her wildest imaginations. A warm feeling entered her heart. She smiled and gave Josie her answer.
“Peter.”
***
The following morning Mark and Josie decided to change their plans. Instead of remaining here with his parents until Sunday afternoon, they would drive to Tahoe today to see Josie’s sister. Josie wanted Mark to meet Natalie, and neither of them wanted to remain here with Mark’s mother continuing to treat Josie like an unwelcome guest.
His mother expressed surprise at their change of plans. Mark and Josie were gracious, making it sound like the only reason they weren’t hanging around until tomorrow was so Josie could have more time with her sister and give Mark a chance to meet Natalie. Since Mark needed a way to get to Sacramento tomorrow evening for his flight to Portland, Peter agreed to drive up also and give Mark a ride back.
After breakfast Lily saw Peter heading upstairs, and she followed him. They had been glancing at one another all through breakfast, and he didn’t appear too surprised when she tapped lightly on the open bedroom door.
He smiled and invited her in. She stepped toward him, and they met halfway. “Good morning,” he said softly.
“Hi,” she replied, feeling drawn to his steady green eyes. “Would it be all right if I rode up to Tahoe with you today?”
He reached for her hand and squeezed her fingers gently. “That sounds a little risky. I don’t know if I can trust you to keep your distance.”
“Oh, I know you can’t trust me,” she countered. “The choice is yours. Take it or leave it.”
He appeared pleasantly surprised at her forwardness. She was a bit surprised herself. She had never felt so free to be herself with someone she had spent such little time with.
Peter pulled her close and kissed her tenderly. “I’ll take it.”
She felt at peace about her choice, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that things had progressed with Devin to the point where that choice would be disappointing to him. And she felt bad about that.
She stepped away from him slightly. “I want to get to know you today, Peter. But there is one thing I must ask of you.”
“What’s that?” he asked, leaning to kiss her again. She put her fingers over his lips and chose to follow her conscience. Doing otherwise would gnaw at her heart all day long.
“I need you to not kiss me anymore for now,” she said, hoping he would understand. “I don’t feel right about it. I need to talk to Devin first.”
“I suppose I can live with that,” he replied. “I’d like to get to know you too, and I can probably do that better if I’m not kissing you all the time.”
They heard footsteps in the hall, and Mark appeared in the open doorway. Lily stepped away from Peter and smiled. “I’ll go get my things packed.”
Mark stared at her curiously as she excused herself and headed for her own room. She met Josie and Tommy in the hallway, and they followed her to the bedroom she and Josie had shared last night.
“Were you talking to Peter?” Josie asked after closing the door.
“Yes,” she replied, relaying most of the conversation as best as she could remember it.
Josie gave her a hug. “If the look on your face right now is any indication, I think you’re doing the right thing.”
After packing her things and making her bed as neatly as it had been yesterday when they arrived, Lily took her bags downstairs and saw Peter and Mark waiting by the front door. Mark stepped past her to go see if Josie needed any help, and Peter took her bags from her.
She followed him out to his truck. He put her things in the back of the extended cab, and they remained outside talking until Mark and Josie were ready to leave. Before heading for Tahoe, they stopped by Mark and Peter’s dad’s office in the heart of town. Mark mentioned his desire to take over the younger members of his dad’s practice and turn the spacious, well designed office into a pediatric clinic after his dad retired. Lily wondered what Josie thought of the possibility of moving to California someday if she and Mark ended up getting married.
Lily also wondered how she and Peter would deal with the fact that he lived here and she lived in Oregon. Could he afford to be flying up to see her all the time? She had a fair amount tucked away in savings, but could they build a relationship only seeing each other a few days a month?
She decided not to worry about that right now and thoroughly enjoyed the drive into the mountains, the beautiful scenic views, and Peter’s company. He was easy to talk to, and her heart leapt every time he smiled at her or reached over to hold her hand. They talked about their respective jobs, and she learned Peter worked 24-hour shifts two or three times per week at the fire station as a firefighter-paramedic. She could tell he loved his work.
“I asked Mike about his son, J.J.,” Peter said, reminding her about one of his coworkers who had an autistic child. “He is mainstreamed now, but he wasn’t at first. He’s progressed much more quickly since he’s had a full-time aide in a regular classroom, especially socially. He’s a third-grader now and thriving.”
“Max was mainstreamed in kindergarten, but he only had special help part of the time and lots of different aides working with him randomly,” she replied. “His parents and everyone knew he needed something more stable and consistent. It’s made a huge difference for him. Even I have been amazed by what he can do if challenged and taught in
the right way.”
“It’s great you do that,” Peter said with admiration. “Max is a lucky boy.”
“I’m the fortunate one,” she replied. “Working with Max is a joy and a privilege. There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
They had lunch with the others when they arrived in South Lake Tahoe and spent the entire afternoon and evening together. Peter took her to dinner, and they went for a walk beside the lake afterwards, talking, holding hands, and enjoying each other’s company. Peter appeared tempted to kiss her more than once, but he kept his distance, even when they returned to Natalie’s apartment and he told her good night before leaving with Mark to stay at a nearby motel. Natalie didn’t have enough space for them all to sleep there.
“Are you planning to go to church in the morning?” Lily asked Josie after they had retreated to Natalie’s room. Natalie had insisted they take the bedroom, while she slept on the sofa-bed with Tommy.
“Natalie doesn’t go to church,” Josie said. “I was thinking we could have a nice brunch somewhere.”
“She seems excited you came to see her.”
“We’ve always been close. I sure wish she would decide to move back to Oregon one of these days.”
“It’s hard for me to imagine being away from my family. We all live within twenty minutes of each other.”
Josie laughed. “Is that good or bad?”
“Mostly good,” Lily replied. “Sometimes Mom and my sister Cami want to run my life, but other than that, I’m glad we can be close.”
Josie asked how things had gone today with Peter. Lily tried to think of the right words to express how she felt.
“How can someone that I’ve known for such a short time be filling up my heart already?”
Josie smiled. “I guess that means you’re not regretting your decision.”
Lily pulled back the blankets on Natalie’s bed and crawled in. “No, I’m not,” she laughed. “Devin is great and I’m not looking forward to telling him the truth about how I feel, but at the same time I know Peter is meant to be in my life, and I can’t ignore that.”
Josie sat down on the bed facing her. She had a somewhat grim expression on her face.
Lily propped herself up on her elbows. “Josie? Are you okay?”
She didn’t respond immediately. Her eyes flitted around the room for several seconds before she finally spoke. “Do you remember the question I asked you last night about which guy you could imagine spending the rest of your life with?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’ve been asking myself that same question about Mark, and I’m not certain of the answer.”
“You don’t think Mark is the one for you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I enjoy our time together, but I’m not sure we’re meant to be together forever. You know?”
Lily thought about how she had come to that conclusion about Marty and now Devin. She didn’t know why she felt different about Peter. She just did.
“Have you talked to Mark about how you feel?”
“No,” Josie whispered with her eyes downcast. “I’m not ready to let go yet. Maybe things will change.”
After they turned out the light and Josie told her good-night, Lily took a moment to pray silently for Josie and some of the other burdens on her heart. She also thanked God for bringing her and Peter together and asked Him to bless their time together tomorrow. She drifted off to sleep with the vivid memory of Peter’s kisses on her mind and in her heart.
In the morning they all slept in and then went to brunch at a place Natalie suggested. Lily wore a sweater over the top of her long-sleeved T-shirt. If it warmed up later, she could remove the sweater, but it was noticeably cooler up here in the mountains than it had been in the foothills.
Lily enjoyed watching Natalie and Josie interact throughout the day. They were very different. Natalie was more carefree and spontaneous than Josie, but they got along well. Their happiness in seeing each other again seemed to spill over, infecting the whole group with a better time than they’d had with Mark and Peter’s family. They went out on the lake that afternoon on a boat that gave regular tours. Lily learned many interesting things about Lake Tahoe: how deep and clear it was, how it was fed by streams of mountain rainfall and melted snow, and that it always perfectly reflected the color of the sky. Today they were both a vibrant blue.
She and Peter walked on the deck of the nostalgic boat, holding hands and talking some more. He had to work tomorrow but talked about wanting to see her one more time before she and Josie left on Thursday. They made tentative arrangements for him to come back on Wednesday.
“Do you like to ski?” she asked, letting her eyes scan the snowcapped mountains surrounding them.
“Oh, yes,” he smiled. “Growing up close to these beauties and spending six years in Colorado spoiled me. I missed the mountains the most when I was stationed in Florida.”
“Why did you decide to get out of the Air Force?”
“Mostly to be closer to my family. I enjoyed seeing some other parts of the country, but I never felt like I belonged in Colorado or Florida or New Jersey. This may sound corny, but I longed for home.”
He talked about his family some, about times they had spent up here at the lake on the Fourth of July and for family vacations. She learned he had another brother. Three years older than himself, Tony was a doctor and lived in the Bay Area.
He sounded close to his family, despite the fact he had been away from them for most of his adult life. He spoke with a nostalgic air, describing the way of life he had experienced growing up in a small town as the middle son of one of the most beloved doctors the town had ever been blessed with. His parents sounded like her own: respected members of the community known for their modest wealth and always offering a helping hand to those in need.
She decided to ask him about his mother’s surprising behavior toward Josie. Mark and Peter were mild-mannered, and their dad had seemed to be as well. Hearing him talk about his mother with a great deal of admiration made her even more confused.
“I feel bad she was so sweet to me and so awful to Josie. Do you think she’ll always be that way toward her if Josie and Mark end up getting married?”
“Hard to say,” Peter shrugged. “She was raised like that. My grandparents are way worse than her. Prejudice is a hard thing to break out of when it’s all you’ve ever known.”
“But you and Mark aren’t like that.”
“Dad always had a policy of treating all of his patients the same. We learned to see others equally from him.”
“Your parents seem very different,” she commented. “How did they meet?”
“To be honest, I think it was an arranged marriage.”
Lily laughed, but Peter appeared serious.
“My grandparents own a vineyard. My dad worked for them as a hired hand for several years, putting himself through school. I think my Grandpa offered to put him through medical school in exchange for marrying his only daughter.”
“You’re serious?”
“Yep. They won’t admit it, but both Mark and I and most of my dad’s relatives see it that way.”
“How weird is that? I’d hate to think of ending up with some of the men my mother seems to think would be perfect for me.”
“They’re happy together,” he shrugged. “I think they learned to love each other. My dad has always treated my mother well. They didn’t fight, only an occasional argument here and there.”
“So, why didn’t you become a doctor?” Lily asked, thinking how she had also broken away from family tradition.
“I like helping people, but I wasn’t that great of a student. I knew I’d never make it through pre-med. I ended up going into the Air Force because I wanted to be a pilot, but I wasn’t too great at that either and ended up getting trained in fire and rescue instead.”
“Isn’t it funny how God sometimes takes our plans and uses them to get us to where He really wants us?”
Peter gave
her a strange look. “How did we get from the Air Force to God?”
She didn’t understand his apparent discomfort at bringing God into this. “Well, like you were saying about going into the Air Force for one thing, and then ending up in a field you enjoy but wouldn’t have gone after on your own. That’s how I ended up in special education. For my first field experience assignment during my sophomore year, I was placed in a classroom that had a girl who was mainstreamed but had some learning disabilities. I ended up working with her some and decided that’s what I wanted to do, but I don’t think I would have gone after that on my own. I feel like God led me there to show me what He has gifted me to do.”
“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it,” he said, sounding skeptical and almost sarcastic. It was the first time she had ever sensed anything but sweetness coming from him. She felt like he had stepped on her heart, and she pulled away slightly. Physically and emotionally.
They walked in silence for a few minutes. Lily felt like if she tried to speak, she would end up crying. She didn’t understand Peter’s sudden mood shift. She didn’t understand why he had talked to her that way. It was almost as if he was making fun of her.
He led them to the railing, and he pulled her close. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to spoil our time together. That’s fine if you look at stuff like that. I look at life a little differently.”
She remained silent. His apology lessened the sting of his comment, but she still felt uneasy. What else had she said that he thought was stupid? She felt her heart beginning to shut down toward him.
Suddenly something occurred to her. She remembered Josie saying something about Mark only being a Christian for a couple of years, and Peter saying he wasn’t familiar with the musicians they had heard in concert back in December, even those from their generation. It had seemed strange to her then, but she had supposed he didn’t listen to music much .
Peter and Mark’s mother hadn’t acted Christian-like toward Josie, being judgmental of her past instead of forgiving and accepting like she would expect from those who had experienced God’s love and forgiveness for themselves. She and Peter had talked about everything from their careers to their similar and differing interests, but they hadn’t talked about God at all that she could recall. Was it possible that Peter wasn’t a Christian? Did he not even believe in God? The thought made her feel sick inside.
Lily Fields (Garden of Love 1) Page 15