Her heart was pounding by the time she arrived at the church, partly from having to rush to make it on time and partly from the thought of her rash behavior with Peter. She hadn’t known what else to say or do. Was she wrong? Was Peter? Were they having their first fight, and if so, how were they going to resolve the issue?
“Why are you late, Lily? Were you talking to Peter?” one of the high school girls teased. The program hadn’t actually started yet, but most of the girls in her group were already there. Normally she wouldn’t have shared details about her dating life with the girls in her group, but she had told them about Peter and asked them to pray for him before he knew God. Once he had come to Jesus, she had to tell them and hadn’t been able to hide the rest of the story.
She flashed a polite smile. “Maybe,” she said, taking out her attendance sheet and sitting down on one of the chairs. “Okay, who’s here tonight?” she moved on. Right now the last thing she wanted to talk about was that infuriating man.
No one else mentioned his name for the rest of the evening, but he remained on her mind nonetheless. Josie caught her afterwards to see how she was doing. She considered telling her about what Peter had said, but Josie needed to go pick up Tommy from the children’s program downstairs, and she didn’t want to get into it now. Her anger had subsided and been replaced with uncertainty. What was she supposed to do now? Wait around for him to decide she meant more to him than his career?
The more she thought about his words, the more they made no sense to her. He said he didn’t want her to give up her life here in Portland for him. But how could they avoid that? Either now or whenever they decided to get married it would happen eventually. Unless, of course, he had no intention of that happening for quite some time.
Returning to her apartment, she checked her phone for messages after having it turned off during youth group, and she felt surprised and hurt he hadn’t called her back, and furthermore when the phone remained silent while she waited up a little later than normal.
By the time she crawled into bed, a panic had begun to rise within her. Had his reasons about not wanting her to give up her life here only been a cover for how he really felt? Did he simply not want her that involved in his life yet? Did he prefer to have her 600 miles away?
If that was the case, hanging up on him had not won her any ground. He probably had been annoyed, first by her suggestion and then again by her childish behavior. No wonder he hadn’t called her back. Would he ever again?
Tears began to slip from her closed eyelids, and a deep anguish squeezed her heart. What if he never calls? What if I lost him? Was everyone right? Have I let myself believe and assume things about Peter that aren’t true?
Were the words he had spoken to her sincere or mere words designed to mislead her? But why would he do that? What did he possibly have to gain by faking his love for her?
“I don’t understand, Peter,” she whispered into the darkness. “I don’t understand.”
She fell into a restless sleep and had several dreams about Peter. In one he was kissing her passionately, in another he wouldn’t look at her or speak to her. In the early morning hours she experienced the heartbreaking moment of him telling her it had all been a lie. He didn’t love her. He laughed when she told him she had expected him to marry her.
Opening her eyes, she welcomed the morning light and got out of bed before her alarm went off. With some extra time on her hands, she decided to ride her bike to the school and still arrived earlier than usual.
She welcomed a normal day. One where Max worked hard and stayed on task part of the time, became restless and challenging here and there, but for the most part brought that familiar joy to her day. But being with Max also reminded her of Peter’s words. She had known leaving Max would be the most difficult part of moving to California, but she was surprised Peter had realized that. Even to the point of telling her he didn’t want her to, or rather insisting that she couldn’t.
By the end of the day she knew all those thoughts she’d been having about Peter not wanting to be with her didn’t match what he had actually said. And when she gave Max a hug good-bye for the day, she knew Peter was right. She couldn’t leave this. But at the same time she couldn't continue to be away from Peter. What was she supposed to do?
She waited anxiously for Peter to call her that evening, wanting to apologize for her ungrateful attitude. He had been looking out for her best interests, and she had slapped him in the face for it. Last night she thought she had the right to be mad at him, but now she felt like things were reversed.
He didn’t call. Not feeling too alarmed because he may have worked today, she went to bed feeling better than last night but longing to hear his voice. The following evening she kept her phone on until the women arrived for Bible study, and she checked for messages when everyone had left, but still nothing.
She decided to call him. Since she had been the one to hang up, perhaps he thought she didn’t want to hear from him. He didn’t have a cell phone, so she called his apartment, but he didn’t answer. She wasn’t even able to leave a message and tried again an hour later, but still nothing.
“Where are you, Peter?”
She wondered if he was working tonight instead of last night, or if he had to work two shifts back to back. She hadn’t learned to keep track of his work schedule yet, and he hadn’t said anything about it on Sunday, so she couldn’t be certain.
On Wednesday evening she began to panic when he didn’t call and she wasn’t able to reach him either. Was he deliberately avoiding her calls? Was it over? Had all her fears that had plagued her on Sunday night come true?
After dialing his number for the third time that evening and listening to it ring ten times or more with no response, she clicked off the phone, tucked her knees into her chest, and began to cry. She felt like such a failure when it came to having relationships. All these years she had been telling herself she hadn’t met the right guy, but maybe it was her. She’d had plenty of opportunities, but she could never get it right.
She called in sick the next day. It was partially true. She had been battling some spring allergies all week, and coupled with a night of crying, she woke up with puffy eyes and a sore throat. She wanted to call Josie after taking a shower and eating some breakfast around ten, but knowing Josie often slept during the day because of working nightshift at the hospital, she waited until the afternoon to call her.
“Hi, I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No. Have you heard anything?” Josie replied.
Lily didn’t understand her question. “Have I heard what?”
“Have you heard from Peter?”
“No. How did you know?”
“How did I know what?”
Lily felt lost. “Okay. Back up. Let’s start this conversation over, okay?”
“Okay,” Josie laughed. “You first.”
Lily had called to tell her about what had happened with Peter on Sunday, but now she wondered if Josie had already heard about it from Mark.
“Why did you ask me if I’d heard from Peter?”
“Because I thought he might have called and asked you to pass a message on to me.”
Lily felt more confused. “A message about what?”
Josie gasped. “You didn’t hear? Didn’t Peter call you?”
“Call me about what?”
Josie sighed and gave her the missing puzzle-piece in this conversation. “Mark and Peter’s dad had a heart attack yesterday. Mark flew down there last night. I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
“No. I didn’t. Is he okay?”
“I don’t know. I was working last night, and Mark hasn’t left me any messages. That’s why I was asking if you had heard anything.”
Lily took a moment to let the news sink in. “Well, that certainly explains some things,” she said, letting her hopes about her future rise once again, but feeling concerned for Mr. Fields. What if he was gone? She felt an overwhelming urge to be by Peter’s side
if that were the case. She knew both Peter and Mark were close to their father.
“Would Mark have his cell phone with him?”
“He should. I was going to call pretty soon if he didn’t.”
“Could I have the number?” Lily asked, feeling like someone had thrown her a life preserver--something to put her in contact with the man she desperately needed to talk to right now.
“I’ll try calling now,” she said once Josie gave her Mark’s number. “I’ll call you back if I reach them.”
“Okay,” Josie said.
Lily hung up with Josie and tried Mark’s phone. He answered on the second ring.
“Hi, Mark. This is Lily.”
“Hi, Lily,” he replied. “Do you happen to want to speak with my brother?”
“Yes,” she said, happy to hear some playfulness in his voice. She hoped that meant their dad was doing all right. “Is he there with you?”
“He’s right here,” he said. “I’ll put him on.”
“Thanks,” she replied, taking a deep breath and waiting for Peter’s voice to speak into her ear. She felt tears forming in her eyes at the thought of talking to him once again.
There was a slight delay, and she wondered if he was hesitating to take the phone from Mark, but she realized Peter had probably taken it and stepped away from his brother to talk to her privately when she heard his first words to her.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said most tenderly. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” she said. “How are you? How’s your dad?”
“It looks like he’s going to pull through. He had double bypass surgery today, but everything went well. He’s in recovery now, and we have to wait and see how he does.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. I didn’t know until five minutes ago.”
“Josie didn’t call you?”
“She assumed I’d already heard from you.”
“I told Mark to tell her to call you. I guess he didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you call me yourself?”
“I was at work. I thought you might call me this morning, but when you didn’t, I thought you were still mad at me.”
“Peter! Even if I would have been, which I wasn’t, I still would have called you! I love you. I’d rather be with you right now than talking over this stupid phone.”
“Can you come tomorrow night?” he asked. “I have Saturday off.”
“Yes.”
“I love you too, Lily. We need to talk.”
“I know.”
They said goodbye for now. She called Josie back and gave her the report and asked if she wanted to go with her tomorrow. Josie said she did and got her brother and his wife to take Tommy for the weekend. They took a late afternoon flight from Portland to Sacramento, and after renting a car, they drove the remaining distance to Placerville. Mark met them at the house and drove them to the hospital. Peter was working today, and she wouldn’t be seeing him until tomorrow morning.
Something strange happened when they arrived in the waiting area, something Lily never expected. Peter’s mother welcomed her with a tearful hug, and even seemed grateful for Josie’s presence, although she did not hug her quite as warmly. But even more shocking for Lily, Mrs. Fields asked her to come with her to see Lawrence. And her explanation once they arrived outside the door as to why she wanted her to, surprised her further.
“Peter said you would pray for Lawrence. Will you?”
“You mean now?”
She nodded, appearing desperate. “Please. Peter said God listens to you.”
Lily swallowed hard, wondering if that’s what Peter had actually said or if his mother had misinterpreted things. Since he wasn’t here to ask, she decided to go ahead and do as she had been asked, but clarified one thing for the distraught woman.
“I will be happy to pray for him, as I have been,” she said. “But God listens to all who call upon him. Come in with me, and we will pray together.”
“No, just you,” she replied. “God is angry with me right now.”
“No. He’s not, Marie,” Lily insisted. “He wants to hear from both of us. Come in with me. I’ll pray if you want me to, but only if you’re in there too.”
Marie Fields appeared skeptical, almost fearful, but she followed her into the room. Mr. Fields appeared to be resting comfortably. Mark had already told them he was recovering well and had been given a good prognosis following the surgery yesterday, but apparently Mrs. Fields wasn’t convinced by the doctors’ expert opinions any more than God’s willingness to hear her prayers.
Lily went to the bedside and took Mr. Fields hand in her own. He didn’t stir. Lily asked Peter’s mother to place her hands on him also, since she appeared reluctant to come close to the bedside. Lily had never seen such fear on the face of anyone before.
“It’s all right,” she said, reaching out her hand and drawing Marie closer. “Jesus said, ‘Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am with them.’ Let Him be here with us.”
Marie came to stand by the bed. Lily took Marie’s hand and placed it on Lawrence’s shoulder, and then she prayed for him. When she finished her simple prayer for Lawrence’s recovery, she also prayed for Marie.
“Help Marie to not be afraid. Comfort her during this difficult time, and help her to know that you are here with us, Jesus, and that you will hear her prayers if she calls on you sincerely. Amen.”
Marie whispered an amen and kept her eyes closed for several moments. When she opened them, she didn’t look as frightened as before, but her expression had a lost appearance, as if Marie had no idea what she was supposed to do with her husband lying helplessly in a hospital bed.
Remembering what Peter had told her about the family’s suspicion of his parents having an arranged marriage, she didn’t know if she believed that or not, but she could tell that no matter how they had met or been brought together, Marie loved Lawrence very much. She depended on him and needed him and couldn’t imagine her life without him.
“He’s going to be all right, Marie,” Lily said. “If you’re scared or worried that he won’t be, keep praying until you don’t feel that way anymore. Prayer isn’t for God. It’s for us.”
Turning from the bed, Lily quietly stepped away and waited for Marie in the hallway. She wondered what Peter had said to his mother that made Marie ask for her to come pray over her husband. She also wondered if Peter had shared his new found faith with his parents.
Taking a moment to pray for both Marie and Lawrence, that they could also come to know God as Peter had, she realized why she had felt prompted to be sweet to them when she had been in their home even though they had treated Josie poorly. If she had been equally rude to them, Peter’s mother would not have asked her to pray for Lawrence and would make Peter’s task of trying to share God’s love with them more difficult.
When Marie didn’t emerge after a few minutes, Lily returned to the waiting area. She told Mark and Josie what had happened and encouraged Mark to go be with his mom, knowing her heart was tender at this time. Before Mark stepped away, Lily asked him something.
“What did Peter tell her about me that made her do this?”
Mark smiled. “My brother told her that if God reached his heart through your prayers, then He could heal Dad’s heart. Ever since then she’s been wondering when you were going to get here. And considering the fact she let you leave her alone with Dad, which she hasn’t done since they brought him here, I’d say God used whatever you said to give her the right idea.”
Mark went to go check on her, and Lily joined Josie on the small couch. Josie smiled at her and gave her a hug.
“Somehow I think you’ve made a good impression on your future mother-in-law’s heart.”
Lily felt bad for Josie. “I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time.”
“I’m okay with it now,” she said. “I was shocked before, and I let it get to me, but after I heard about his mother’s upbringing, I was able to let it go.”
Josie laughed. “That’s a good way to look at it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Mark talked his mom into coming back to the house with them and getting some rest. He gave her something to help her sleep, and they all were in bed by ten o’clock. In the morning they took his mom back to the hospital, heard a good report from the doctor, and then went to a nearby restaurant to have breakfast and meet up with Peter.
Lily saw him waiting for them when Mark pulled into the parking lot. Leaning against the closed tailgate of his truck, he began walking toward them as Mark selected an empty space. By the time Lily removed her seat belt and opened the door, Peter was there to greet her.
Despite the fact his mother, Mark, and Josie were all right there, Peter seemed to only have eyes for her and hugged her as tightly as the two times they had met at the airport, once in Portland and the other time down here. She entered another world, one where only the two of them existed, and she needed that more today than the other times. She needed to know he had forgiven her and that he still loved her.
Kissing her briefly but tenderly, he made his feelings quite clear. All of the anger and hurt she had felt earlier in the week had vanished, and she felt more in love with him than ever. They smiled at each other. Peter finally took his eyes from her to greet the others.
“Did you stop in and see Dad?” he asked Mark while still holding her in his arms.
“Everything looks good,” Mark reported.
Peter stepped away from her briefly to give his mom a hug and ask her if she was doing all right. Marie nodded and managed a brief smile.
Stepping back to Lily’s side, he took her hand and kept her from following the others. “We’ll be just a minute,” he said. “Go ahead and get a table.”
Lily Fields (Garden of Love 1) Page 23