Visitors drifted in and out of her room, but she hardly noticed them. She didn't speak. She ate when Ellowyn guilted her, claiming she would be beaten as punishment if Zelene wasn't taken care of. She wasn't sure when they had moved her back to her bedroom from the leigheas, but it didn't matter. Cedwen had come by multiple times, sometimes just to sit at her bedside and other times to plead with her not to do anything stupid.
"There's nothing you can do, Zelene," he said over and over again. "I understand that you want to find him, but I fear it is too late. And even if there was a chance, even if there was some sort of trail Varrick missed in his haste to get you to safety, you would never be able to follow it. The people would notice you and would demand to know why the Duillaine Ainnir was trying to abandon them when you've just returned. Your duty is to your people. I can only imagine how hard this is, but you must see that. You cannot simply run off on some haphazard rescue mission in the dead of night without someone noticing and causing more problems than you can probably imagine."
She stopped paying attention to him at that point as a thought had occurred to her contradicting the first part of his statement. She could blend in. He had been the one to teach her how. She still had the servant clothes tucked underneath her bed. She had been using them to better explore the grounds and had found it both encouraging and disheartening how easily overlooked she was as a servant.
The Duillaine Banair were so convinced she was wallowing in despair they would never guess that she would run away in search of her friend. Varrick would be alerted to her plan if she was afraid, so as long as she kept a cool head and stayed strong, she would be long gone before anyone even knew she was missing.
She slipped from her bed, her feet touching the cool wooden floor. The sensation jolted her awake, as though her plan to take action had animated her with new life. She pulled out the clothes and quietly slipped into them so as to not alert Ellowyn. She knew her friend would be right outside her door, but she also knew how to get rid of her. Once she had changed, she pulled the spare blanket at the foot of her mattress around herself to conceal her clothing. She then opened the door and sure enough, Ellowyn sat at the table happily reading a book Zelene had leant her.
Ellowyn jumped to her feet automatically, a look of pained concern across her dark features. "Are you all right? Do you need anything?"
Zelene tried to smile, but knew it came across as more of a grimace. "I'm hungry. Do you mind running to the kitchens to get me some food?"
"Of course," Ellowyn answered and placed the book on the table.
Zelene’s heart broke at how her young servant friend seemed to be overwhelmed with joy at the mere sight of her. Their closeness made her deception that much harder.
"Is there anything in particular you would like?"
She thought this over for a moment, knowing she needed to keep Ellowyn away as long as possible. If she asked for an extravagant meal, Ellowyn would realize something was up. In all their friendly exchanges, Ellowyn had come to know Zelene well enough to know she would never ask for anything to trouble her maid too much.
"When I was younger, before my parents died—I mean, the people I thought were my parents…Anyway, if I got upset, they would make me hot chocolate. Do you know what that is?"
"Yes," Ellowyn answered eagerly, "most people refer to it as cocoa here, but I believe it is the same thing. I can fix you some if you'd like." She blushed with embarrassment. "Making cocoa takes me some time though since I have to use the fires to boil the water. I can't heat it on my own," she reminded her with no small amount of shame.
Zelene shrugged as if this was nothing to be ashamed of. "I've boiled my fair share of water. It's no big, Ell. Take your time."
She watched her new friend leave with a sadness. Ellowyn was so eager to help Zelene, to help to make this all better for her, and Zelene now used that against her. She felt guilty as she closed the door and wrapped the trademark cloth of the Tainted around her head.
Of all the people she had met in Anscombe, she would miss Ellowyn the most. Though they’d had a somewhat awkward start, their friendship had quickly developed into one of ease. Ellowyn seemed to understand her. She knew when to push and when to back away and let Zelene stew. She laughed easily at her jokes, and as her confidence around Zelene had built, she had even made a few of her own, showing herself to have a similar sense of humor. Ellowyn had turned into one of the few comforts Zelene had found since her arrival.
With a heavy heart, Zelene slipped into the dark corridor. She hadn't realized how late it was, but as she walked across the open-aired walkway she could see the moon high in the sky. She thought this meant it was around midnight, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter. She met no resistance as she headed down the stairs and into the courtyard below. Instead of fear, she felt nothing but elation as she made her way across the grass and through the archway connecting the next ring of buildings surrounding the inner layer of Anscombe.
The streets were empty and deserted, lending a ghost-like air to the town. As she crossed the next courtyard, she found herself fighting off the feeling that she was being watched. She came to a stop, turning to see if she had been followed. She swore she saw a shadow move from the corner of her eye and swung around, heart racing. She could barely see the outline of a woman in the trees lining the courtyard and wondered fleetingly if the Duillaine Banair had found her out. Surely they would have announced themselves by now? She tried to calm her beating heart, realizing her fear might alert Varrick to her scheme, and was going to press on when a voice sounded from behind her.
"You tricked me."
Zelene spun around to see the accusing face of her only remaining friend glaring at her. "I had to," she quickly jumped to the defensive. "Look, I have to find him, Ellowyn."
"You can't," Ellowyn argued as she rushed forward. "You have no idea how dangerous the world is beyond these gates, Zelene."
"I've gotten out of some pretty bad scrapes before," Zelene retorted haughtily. "I can take care of myself." She squinted her eyes shut, regretting her tone immediately. "I'm sorry. I just...I can't sit back and do nothing. This is personal now."
"It was personal before! Or have you forgotten that they have your sister?" Ellowyn spat back. Zelene had never seen her young maid so angry before. "What you are doing now isn't taking action. You’re running away. It is cowardice, and I expected more from you."
"I am not running away, Ellowyn. I'm running after him. I can't do anything to save Ariana," Zelene said apologetically. "You have no idea how much I wish I could...You think I don't realize how easily it could have been me? If she had been born first, I would be the one locked in a Cahiran dungeon. But I can't take on an entire army by myself. Kyle, I can help. I can find him, and I can bring him back—"
"You'll die." The words were simple and matter-of-fact. "You have no means to defend yourself against the type of power they have out there. They will be waiting for you."
Zelene frowned, uncertain as to why Ellowyn was so keen to place her on the losing side of this. "What do you mean?"
Ellowyn took another step forward, slowly and heavy with the regret of the words she was about to speak. "I don't think he was taken by accident."
The idea struck Zelene like a two by four across the skull. "You think they took him as bait. To draw me out."
Ellowyn’s dark eyes glistened with sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Zelene, but I can't see why else they would take him. I think they want you to go after him, and they want you angry. If you’re angry, you aren’t scared, which means your Cyneward can’t track you as easily. And that gives them the perfect opportunity to either take you like your sister, or kill you on the spot.”
Zelene’s chin quivered as she let this possibility wash over her. "Do you...do you think he's...." she couldn't bring herself to finish the words, but she could tell Ellowyn knew her meaning.
Ellowyn nodded slowly and wrapped her arms around Zelene as she sank to the grass beneath them. Sh
e hugged her close, stroking her back, Zelene sobbing in her arms. "I'm so sorry."
"He can't be dead," Zelene pleaded. For the past few days, nothing had mattered but finding Kyle. The thought had not occurred to her there would be no Kyle to find. She felt like the hole his kidnapping had ripped into her heart was now expanding to take her soul, as if her very existence in the world around her had shattered without him to hold her together like he had always done. "It's all my fault...I did this."
"You can't blame yourself, Zelene," Ellowyn soothed.
"You don't understand," Zelene sobbed as she pulled away. "Everyone thinks I'm here to save them, and I'm not. Everything I touch...it always goes bad, Ellowyn. I can't do anything. I should just hand myself over to the Cahirans and let them kill me. You'd be so much better—"
Her words were interrupted as Ellowyn’s hand connected with Zelene's cheek.
"Don't! Don't you dare say that!" Tears spilled down the servant’s full cheeks as she spoke. "You are a fighter, Zelene. I've seen it. And you've already begun to change things, don't you see that? You are our savior. You are the one who will lead us to a better world, I know you will."
"I haven't saved anyone. I keep getting people killed."
"You saved me," Ellowyn said quietly, though her voice seemed to reverberate through Zelene. "You have no idea what my life was like before you. I've never had a friend before, I've never been treated like an equal. Living...just existing and going through the motions every day was so hard. And then you," she said, smiling through her tears. "You might not see it, but you change everyone you touch, Zelene, and in the best way. You have this light inside you, this burning life that spreads...if you leave now or lose hope in yourself, then you are no better than what you think of yourself now. But if you keep fighting, then everything we've all been through, all the lives we have all lost, they won't be in vain. Fight for them, Zelene. Fight for Kyle so no one else ever has to suffer like you have."
Zelene blinked at her, still rubbing her stinging cheek. She knew Ellowyn was right. Kyle would have lectured her to no end if he thought she had given up. His motto had always been 'Never give up' and it was what had gotten them through some of the roughest patches in their young lives. They had been each other's strength, and she would continue to use his now.
"Thank you," she finally said after a few moments thought. "For knocking some sense into me. Literally," she added with a slight laugh.
Ellowyn bit her lip nervously. "Could you not tell anyone about what I did, though? I don't even want to think about the punishment I would face if anyone knew I had hit the Duillaine Ainnir." She shivered at the thought, not noticing that Zelene now wore a scowl of determination and indignation.
"No one will ever lay a hand on you as long as I am around. That much I can do." Zelene reached forward and pulled the cloth from Ellowyn's head, letting the long, dark tresses fall over the servant’s shoulders as she clamped her hands around her head.
"No," she said when Ellowyn attempted to hide her hair with her hands. "No more hiding, Ellowyn. You aren't my maid. You're my friend. You just proved that. But since I am the Miss Bossypants of this relationship, I will order you to stop wearing this ridiculous headdress. Like you said, it's time for a change."
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Where are we?” Bianca asked as she looked around their settings. Isauria was following a young man and a young blonde girl down a grungy set of stairs when Bianca had connected with her. Isauria covered her mouth with a gag as the stench of the dungeons reached her nostrils.
“I don’t know,” Isauria answered as she struggled to catch up to the duo in front of them. “I saw that girl before. She’s Kellen’s daughter.” She leaned closer, to listen in to their conversation.
"Where are we going?" Alec asked.
"To the dungeon," Sheridan responded in a quiet, almost mournful, tone.
"Yes, I can see that.” He rolled his eyes. “Is there something I should know?"
She turned to face him, annoyance spread across her features. "Kellen is back."
"Don’t you mean ‘Mother’?" he challenged.
She shot him a glare before resuming her path. "Yes, and she's furious."
"And this is different how?"
"Trust me, you've never seen her angry, or felt what she's capable of when she's like that." She whipped around to face him now. "What were you thinking anyway? Did you think someone in town would help you? Those people are afraid of their own shadows," she said, pointing at the walls as though the people she spoke of were right beyond them. She dropped her hand, chin quivering with fear. "She's never going to forget this. And she's going to make sure you don't either."
"You sound like you disagree with your mother, Sheridan." He gave a slight bow at her wounded look. "Forgive me, but this is a side of you I'm not used to seeing."
"You think I like this? You think I'm any freer than you are?" A look of pain crossed her face. "You have no idea."
Bianca made a noise of disgust. “Please. This girl is just as guilty as her mother.”
Isauria contemplated Sheridan and shook her head. “You don’t know what Kellen’s done to her to make her this way. I really think she wants to help Ariana. She just doesn’t know how.”
“Are you certain that isn’t your hope? That your sister has a friend with some real power in this horrid place?”
Isauria didn’t answer. She turned back to Alec, seeing the wheels in his head turn before he made his decision and spoke up.
"Then escape with us,” he said urgently and took her hands. “With your help, we could get out of here. I can protect you. I'll make sure nothing happens to you when we get to Estridia."
She jerked her hands away at this. "Yeah, right. They'd kill me on the spot. If they didn't, she would find a way. You think she doesn't already have people there? She does. And they would kill me. Not everyone is immortal like you."
"I'm not immortal," he retorted through gritted teeth.
"You can't be killed yet. Which is a lot more than I can say for myself." She motioned to the doorway a few yards away. "Go through there, before someone overhears you and you get me killed anyway."
"If I can find a way, I'll come back and get you."
"Don't make promises you won't keep. You might not feel like that for long." Sheridan gestured to the doorway again, and then followed him through it.
“Where is Ariana?” Bianca asked as they followed. “I thought you were supposed to be trapped with her.
“I don’t know,” Isauria said with a shrug. “I keep feeling different pulls, and I just follow.”
“Your gift is much stronger than we thought,” the paion said, her eyes distant with thought.
Isauria nearly bumped into Alec, who had came to an abrupt stop. She wondered momentarily if it was even possible for her to physically touch anyone here before Bianca managed to run straight into her. And then she found the answer to both of her questions as she stumbled through Alec and found out where Ariana was.
Alec had come to such an abrupt stop because he had seen Ariana bound on the ground before him, her mouth gagged over the arguments she was making. She froze at the sight of him, eyes wide with horror and worry as if she was just as concerned for his life as Isauria could tell he was for hers. Ariana’s defiant gaze turned back to Kellen, who stood in front of her with two guards, but Isauria could see the cracks in her armor now that Ariana had seen Alec.
"Not in front of her," he commanded. You can do whatever you like to me, but you will not do this in front of her."
Kellen blinked innocently, a devilish glint in her eyes. "We won't be doing anything in front of her." She gave him a moment to let the confusion set in, her enjoyment growing as realization spread across his face. "Yes, we'll be doing everything to her."
Both Bianca and Isauria cried out as Alec suddenly flew across the room. He was pinned against the wall by Sheridan. Her shaking hand was outstretched toward him, locking her hold on his bo
dy, though her slumped shoulders seem to convey her regret. Alec tried pleading with her, but she merely looked away.
“Oh god, we have to do something,” Isauria rushed over to her sister and knelt beside her, looking up to Bianca with desperation. “Please, tell me what do to.”
Bianca lowered herself in front of her patient. “We can’t do anything. We don’t even know how to find her yet.” Bianca looked to the young Duillaine, the girl’s lavender eyes filled with the fear they all shared. “It’s all up to Ariana and Alec now.”
***
Ariana trembled as Kellen circled her, making a show of contemplating the best angle from which to come at her. She bit down hard on the gag in her mouth, fighting the chills working their way up her spine.
Ariana's eyes darted around, preparing herself for what was in store even though her brain refused to conjure anything even close. She tightened her jaw, trying to focus on her breathing instead of the pain that was to come. She heard the sound of the whip screaming through the air before she felt the lash connect with her skin. She grimaced as the leather came down on the soles of her bare feet, and bit down hard on the gag so as to not scream aloud. She felt the cries rise in her throat, but she locked her attention onto Alec, finding a strength in him she wanted to match. She wanted to be strong for him like he had been for her. And she really didn't want to give the bitch the satisfaction she clearly craved.
"Impressive. A girl after your own heart, Alec." Kellen released her from her bindings, so she might writhe in pain more freely and pulled the gag away from Ariana's mouth, leaning in to whisper in her ear, "The harder you resist, the harder I will push. Do not enter into a test of wills with me, child."
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