Lis shrugged and made her way to the boombox she’d set up on a chest of drawers.
“Play nice then. I’ll be right here waiting for when you’re ready to get the bill.”
I didn’t even close the door before the heavy metal scream of guitars blared through the thin walls. I made my way through the hotel hall, down the stairs, into the abyssal black Mercedes-Benz AMG, and made for the Tokyo outskirts.
“Weakness: Indecision. You have missed thirty eight separate opportunities to overcome the one called Lisistrathiel, Charles,” Cho spoke up.
This was the last thing I needed. I jammed my hand into my back pocket, withdrew the tiny lamp and tied him to the steering wheel.
“You can’t possibly be right. You saw the way Lis dodged that bolt of fire. I’ve seen her dodge bullets dammit! She is a Devil of immense strength. Beyond reckoning,” I retorted, nearly shouting.
Amazing how short tempers can get when eternal damnation is on the line.
“You must strike from behind her. She can only avoid what she sees coming,” Cho replied solemnly.
“It can’t be that easy. She must have a trick. When she was nearly cut down by the Demon Slayer she was struck from behind too, but--”
My breath caught in my throat. The only reason she dodged the assassin was because she must have heard him coming. Sensed something wrong. Lisistrathiel always emphasized the value of knowledge, and she never misses a chance to use her superior intellect with impunity. Mind over matter. Mind of everything. Could getting out of my debt really be as easy as catching her unaware?
Hard questions that only led to harder ones.
“Say, Charles, where are you taking us right now anyways?”
“Oh, that’s easy. We’re going back into the heart of Oni territory so I can apologize for tricking them.”
The little lantern practically shuddered.
“W-weakness: Callous disregard for personal well being,” Cho announced, shivering. “Little sense of self preservation. Charles this really is a suicide mission.”
“Hell yes it is.”
Chapter 23
It was almost midnight by the time I retraced my steps to the Oni hideout near Mount Jinba. When I finally reached the outskirts of the little rural village, I could see a great bonfire in the distance, and the sound of merriment echoed on the wind.
I didn’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade, but by the time I’d walked down to where the gathered revelers were, the party had died down completely. Everyone was too busy staring at me.
Most of them looked like Humans. Mundanes with maybe just a few Oni hiding among them like plain clothes police.
The Tengu kept Mundanes in their midst by using a potent cocktail of illusion magic, misdirection, and particularly talented Humans being completely in the Supernatural ‘know’, so to speak. The Oni however? They had Humans too, just like the Yakuza thugs, but there was no way they’d fool anybody.
So how were they keeping all these Humans in a mood for parties?
“Good evening. I’ve come to talk with Anzuki,” I said.
If you’re going to do something remarkably stupid you might as well have the balls to do it really boldly. Bold enough to take even the Oni aback.
They looked like they couldn’t decide whether I was the dumbest Human they’d ever met or if this was a really, really elaborate trap.
The faces of the gathered men and women had darkened, and in the distance I heard thundering footsteps and groaning trees. The crowd parted to make room for an immense black skinned ogre with the eyes like a tiger. His face was daubed in red paint and he looked spectacularly hideous.
“You screw up big coming here, Human,” the black Oni gurgled.
“No disagreements from my end,” I replied. “But to be fair, I’m not interested in fighting. I just need to talk to Anzuki.”
“Da Kunshu-to-be ain’t in a talk talk mood. You gotta die now so--”
“Wait.”
I blinked in surprise. From among the crowd another of the immense ogres came. Red skin from head to toe, full samurai armor, and a bandaged leg? That’s the guy I toppled over at the Yakuza pub.
“Careful big bro. This one good. Real good,” the red skinned Ogre eloquently said.
‘Eloquently’ was said caked in sarcasm, in case you weren’t sure.
The black skinned Oni snorted like a boar, put his arms together and with a guttural roar, summoned an immense jagged spear from the abyssal hole he’d conjured up.
Lis wasn’t joking when she said the Oni were fabulously talented magicians. These guys were tearing portals to the Netherworld just to nab their favorite hitting sticks. If one of the nine archmages of NT had pulled off a spell like this there would be clapping and standing ovations. The Oni treated it like he’d just flipped a light switch.
The danger I found myself in was very real.
“I’ll say it one more time. I don’t want to fight. I want to speak with Anzuki,” I said.
“Oh yeah?” came the reply. “Well, I wanna fight you. Attacking!”
With an earth shaking bellow, the black skinned ogre threw himself at me, spear in hand, and went right for the killing blow. I narrowly sidestepped a thrust that would have made me into a marshmallow ripe for the bonfire, and leaped between the Oni’s legs when he tried to stomp me with his clawed foot. I willed my wand’s blade into existence and drew it back just in time to have my ears shattered by a really loud yell.
“Wait he gonna hit you,” cried the red skinned Oni.
The black skinned older brother jumped back half a damn football field and leered at me defensively. He blended in very well with the night.
“Cho?” I whispered.
“Weakness: Low intelligence,” Cho replied. “Susceptible to trickery.”
I was reminded for a brief instant that simply knowing something’s weakness didn’t make it any easier to beat it up in a one on one fight.
“You should kill him with that fire attack you have, bro,” bellowed the red skinned Oni.
The older brother grinned monstrously. “Hey. Good thinkin’. Why wasting time killing him with spear. Not worth rusting it up. Puny Human man, you will be destroyed now by shadow fire!”
It took every ounce of self restraint not to tell him calling me Human man was redundant.
I was treated to a front row seat seeing an Oni summoned all his immense latent magical power in his crushed fist. Normally, magic is focused upon a palm or rarely in a mouth, but the black skinned ogre poured so much magic into his hand that it overflowed, a dirty flame engulfing his entire fist.
With a final roar of ‘Eat it!’ the Ogre whipped the deadly ball of fire at me as hard and fast as he could.
It was my one and only chance. I drew my finger around in a swift circular pattern, tapped the center, and then, the monstrous ball of fire hit.
A comical tink echoed in my ears, then like it had been hit with a tennis racket, the ball of fire flew right back at the Oni and hit him right in the forehead.
The crowd wailed with dismay. The black skinned Ogre groaned, teetered, and then toppled to the ground like an old growth tree. Magnitude readers must have spiked in California from the weight of his collapse.
I turned around to the gawking crowd, perked an eyebrow, and asked, “I still want to talk. You still want to fight?”
The Humans scattered, any Ogre shorter than a tree fled, and the big ones looked downright worried. They’d probably be more upset if I told them I beat their champion with a novice tier spell.
“If you wanna talk, then go talk. The Kunshu and Kunshu-to-be are both in big temple overthere,” the red skinned Ogre from before said.
I nodded in thanks and walked past them.
“They ain’t gonna go easy on you!” he bellowed when I reached the door.
“It’s not fun unless there’s at least one woman that can’t decide if she wants to kill me or have sex with me,” I mumbled underneath my breath.
I
opened the temple doors. They were downright medieval. Heavy wood. It took all my strength to open them a crack The temple insides looked more like a demon lord’s castle than a quaint rural temple.
“How fitting,” I muttered, opening another heavy gate beyond the first.
Slipping through, I found myself face to face with what can only be described as a throne room. Smack dab in the middle of the chamber sat a huge chair made of, I wish I were kidding, bones. Torches cast light across the dark walls, and upon the massive throne sat quite possibly the largest Oni I’d ever seen.
A hulking mass of sinew and muscles. Hideous horns and a dentist’s worst nightmare for teeth. His weight was surely measured in tons and he wore intricate metal armor bedecked in howling demonic faces. I counted three separate swords on him, the smallest of which was about as tall as me. The jaw of his crooked, triple horned head rested on a gnarled fist, and his eyes were firmly closed.
I might have caught him napping, but there was no mistaking his identity.
This was the Kunshu. The great tyrant of tyrants and the brains behind the whole invasion. Speaking to Anzuki was one thing, but if the big boss was here then I might as well have chat with him too. I needed answers, and if he didn’t have them, then no one would.
There was nothing I’d like more than waking him up. However, in my heart I knew that speaking to Anzuki ought to be my top priority. Now the question became, where would a Human sized Oni hide at a time like--
I heard the distinct sound of a katana drawing from a sheathe, and as fast as my limbs could react, I twirled around, wand-sword in hand, and barely caught Anzuki’s killing blow.
“Anzuki,” I spoke.
She cursed in reply. Her face was obscured by her favorite gnarled mask, but beneath that her face was surely scrunched up in inhuman rage. Pushing back against me with all her might, Anzuki pointed her katana at my chest threateningly.
“I told you didn’t I? Next time we meet. I’m gonna kill you, Charles Locke!”
Chapter 24
“I came to talk to you. To apologize. It was not my intent to betray you Anzuki. For God’s sake I saved you when Momodara caught you, didn’t I? I’m not your enemy,” I said.
“I ain’t falling for it. You’re a liar and a bastard. I don’t care what you did or why you’re coming here now. This is a trick. It has to be,” Anzuki spat.
No chance to reply. Before she even finished speaking, she was already rushing towards me, katana poised to cut me in half. I felt a cut open up in my Kevlar, and another catch my sleeve as I avoided narrow miss after narrow miss.
I had no choice. My wand-sword flashed to action, barely parrying one of Anzuki’s thrusts before ramming an elbow into her chest.
If she had been a Tengu she’d have needed to go to the hospital for broken ribs. Unfortunately, she was not a Tengu.
Anzuki grunted, didn’t budge a goddamn inch, and then kicked me in the gut so hard that I got air time before landing on my back. I rose to unsteady feet.
“Weaknesses,” began Cho. He must have sensed that I was flagging. “They include--”
“No thanks,” I replied to Cho, and then threw my wand to the ground. “I don’t care what her weaknesses are. Anzuki!”
“You bastard. What fresh crap is this? It won’t work,” she roared.
“No tricks. No games. I came here to make good on my promise. I want to help you, Anzuki. But if you don’t want my help, then cut me down. I won’t stop you.”
I’m not completely out of my mind. And I’m not particularly idealistic or sappy either. I just calculated a high chance that Anzuki, being very clever for an Oni, would realize that I truly meant no harm.
The only thing I forgot to account for was my terrible luck.
“Don’t you mock me,” Anzuki snarled, and raised her blood red sword high.
I was absolutely convinced that I was about to find out on exactly what level of Hell I was doomed to spend eternity in, when I witnessed divine intervention.
A hand dropped down from the heavens above me and grabbed Anzuki’s blade, stopping it half an inch from my heart. The hand was gigantic, red, gnarled with knots and spikes, but to me it looked just like the hand of God.
“You so rash Anzu,” chided a deep voice. “Human here made very cool pose. Seems nice. You should accept, uh, sincere desire to apologize.”
“Dad let go! He’s tricking us, he has to be,” Anzuki screamed.
Dad?
I turned around to see the Oni tyrant, a look of worry and disappointment on his face. Considering that the Kunshu was three stories taller than Anzuki, hideous and looked dumber than mud, I could be forgiven for not immediately seeing the family resemblance.
Anzuki was the Kunshu’s daughter.
“Hello, your majesty,” I began. “I have some things I’d like to discuss with you over green tea.”
“See?” his deep voice resounded through the temple. “No such thing as a bad man that likes green tea.”
“But--” Anzuki retorted.
“Anzuki. Please fetch green tea. Then come back so we talk.”
In the space of time it took to boil water, the battleground had turned into soothing tea time. Anzuki, sans mask, glared at me with the fiery hatred of an angry volcano Goddess as she poured me my tea. The tyrant had his tea poured into a big cauldron, which he still kept daintily between his thumb and forefinger.
“It an…” the Kunshu began peeking at his wrist. “Immense honor to meet you. Me Kunshu of all da Oni.”
“The honor is all mine. My name is Charles Locke. I work for Nine Towers. I’m already familiar with your daughter.”
“You are huh? Isn’t she smart? And cool. And strong,” he began, his voice dripping with a father’s pride.
“Dad,” Anzuki hissed, red creeping into her cheeks.
“It all true. But anyway. Charles Locke, I will…” the Kunshu paused, glancing at the back of his hand again, “endeavor to answer you questions uh… forthwith.”
Endeavor? Forthwith? I knew people in Nine Towers who barely had a clue as to what those words meant. Anzuki’s father must be phenomenally intelligent. That’s what I thought at least, until I got a closer look at his left hand. It was covered from fingertip to elbow in fancy words and eloquent phrases. He was reading off a cheat sheet. Still, that must be pretty clever for an Oni.
“I need to do something first. Anzuki,” I began, clearing my throat.
“No,” Anzuki replied hastily. “I won’t forgive you. Never. I hate you Charles Locke and…”
I grasped her hand with my own and looked her dead in the eye. “I know. I can’t make you forgive me, but I want to do right by you. You asked me to be your Demon General once, right? I can’t let you magic me into a monstrosity, but I want to help. Let me.”
Shock was the first thing on Anzuki’s face. Followed swiftly by anger, then bewilderment, then a blush.
“Whatever. Fine. I get it. Get yer hands off me.”
“You make him you Demon General, Anzu?” her father asked.
Anzuki blushed and turned her head away peevishly. The Kunshu nodded like he’d just figured out some deep mystery.
“It cause you still think we tricked, huh?” the Kunshu asked.
“I’m sure of it. Charles Locke is smart and clever. Smarter even than me. He said that he would help us but…”
“So,” the Kunshu replied, resting his pinky reassuringly on his daughter’s shoulder, “let your general help you.”
Anzuki nodded her head. I think I understood things better now too. Anzuki is the next in line to the Oni throne. Not because she’s the biggest, scariest, or most ruthless of the Oni, but because of one simple comment.
‘Smarter even than me.’
To the Demon Ogres of the Netherworld, Anzuki must be a genius of mythical proportions. She’s sharp. She speaks normally. She even has a strong grasp on tactics and strategy. Even though she’s no shining light bulb by Mundane standards, to her people she m
ust be a blinding beacon of wisdom and infallible intelligence.
That just left one thing to clarify.
“Your majesty, Anzuki. If I’m going to help you, I need to know what exactly a Demon General is and what they do, because I have a sneaking suspicion I’m misunderstanding something,” I said.
A glance passed between two of them, like I’d just asked for a secret recipe or the location of buried pirate treasure. The Kunshu nodded, and Anzuki shook her head. The Oni swordswoman rose up and gestured for me to follow.
“If you wanna know what a Demon General is so bad, Charles Locke, then I’ll show you.”
Chapter 25
“Lemme be the first to say this. I still don’t trust you, and I think Dad’s making a bad choice here. We shouldn’t be showing our secrets to anyone we have even the tiniest reason to not trust.”
“What secret could the Oni possibly have that is so dangerous?” I asked.
It surely involved the Demon Generals then. Was it the diabolical way in which they were fabricated? How could you even turn a mundane human into a Demonic lord anyways? How much dark magic did you have to pour into a man to change them into a monster?
None at all, whispered a voice in my head that sounded just like Lis.
Anzuki crushed her hand into a fist as we wound down to the end of a long hall trailing past the eastern wing of the temple.
The Oni swordswoman knelt down elegantly before a screen door and beckoned me to do the same. When I did, she inched open the screen door just a crack. We both leaned in to peek through.
Before me sat a long table in the middle of a massive room. The chamber had to be large because I counted at least twelve Oni in it, each about as big as the black skinned one I’d downed outside. They were dressed in regal formal wear, had their hair combed and bound back, and they all lounged around looking awful indignant as the one at the head of the table droned on in a deep tone.
“I didn’t think the Oni were much for verbal discourse,” I whispered to Anzuki.
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