by Cali MacKay
When he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion and need. “I missed ye, Maggie.”
“I missed you, too.” She threw her arms around his neck and held tightly, wishing the rest of the world and all its problems would just disappear.
She buried her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar scent and taking comfort in his arms. He stroked her hair and cradled her, holding her close, but his ragged breath had her beating back tears, knowing she’d soon have to push him away again.
He pulled away just enough to hold her face in his hands, his gaze drifting over her features as if trying to find an answer to what was wrong. “Och, love…what’s happening? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. I’ve never seen so drastic a change in a person. Don’t shut me out, Maggie. I’m begging ye to not push me away.”
Yet what choice did she have?
Chapter Fourteen
When Maggie couldn’t look him in the eyes, he suddenly realized just how bad things had gotten between them-and in such a short amount of time. “Maggie, please. Talk to me, damn it. What the hell’s going on?”
The last thing he wanted was to get angry with her, but he couldn’t deal with not knowing what was wrong. It didn’t help that sleeping without her tucked in at his side left him tossing and turning and in one hell of a bad mood come morning.
“I love ye, Conall. But right now, I need that to be enough for you. Just know that ye’re my very heart.” She cupped his cheek and nuzzled him close, kissed him with a brush of her lips, slow and sweet.
Was he blowing the matter out of proportion? Damn it. This was why he didn’t get involved in relationships. Not that she wasn’t worth it. He couldn’t remember being happier-until yesterday.
“Is this because of yer brother? Is Liam giving ye a hard time?” If that was it, he’d make amends, even if they’d done nothing wrong. “I know I got off to a rocky start with him, but bloody hell, Maggie. Ye can’t let him get between us, love-not for something that’s none of his business.”
She shook her head no with a sigh. “It’s not that. And trust me when I tell ye, I don’t want anything coming between us.”
“Then what’s changed, love? Ye were so happy, so full of life, just days ago. And now…ye’re a shadow of who ye were. I love ye and I want to help, but I can’t if ye won’t let me in. And damn it, Maggie, I don’t want to lose ye.” Didn’t she see what this was doing to him? How could everything deteriorate so quickly? She’d said she’d battled with depression before. Was that the problem? A bad breakup had brought it on before. But now? Everything had been perfect. They’d been happy.
She led him to the sofa, shifting in her seat so she could face him. When she bit her bottom lip and ran her hands down her jeans, he took her hand in his to try to comfort her.
“I know I’ve been distant.” She managed a smile, even if it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ve got some other stuff going on and have been under a lot of stress. I shouldn’t have let it get to me-or let it affect our relationship-and for that, I’m really sorry.”
He wanted to press her for answers, to remind her that they’d both agreed to be honest. Yet she hadn’t lied to him, but rather refused to tell him what the hell was going on. He let out a weary breath. Pulling her to him, he kissed her head, happy he could still hold her in his arms. He’d try to give her more time, more space.
Brushing a stray curl from her eyes, his touch lingered. He needed to have her close, needed the connection between them to keep his uncertainties at bay. “It’s the industry we’re in, love. Things can get complicated. But if there’s anything I can do to help, all ye need to do is ask. I’m pretty good at what I do, if I might say so myself.”
Her lips quirked into a hint of a smile-a real one-even if it was overshadowed by whatever was upsetting her. “There’d be no denying that, love.”
“And I’ve got good instincts, Maggie. Ye have to in this line of work.” Which is why this felt bigger than work.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore-and I want things to get back to normal between us. I don’t know how things got so strained between us and in so little time.” Shifting closer to him, she ran a hand down his arm and bit her bottom lip. “And since it’s my fault, let me make it up to ye.”
When she straddled his lap and kissed him, he pulled her close, running his hands down her back until they rested at the luscious curve of her waist. A small part of his brain told him this was nothing more than a distraction technique. A way to change the subject. Yet it didn’t matter in that moment-not when she was in his arms.
Her kiss deepened, but Conall’s doubts and thoughts continued to nag at him. Things felt so different between them. Her passion felt…not quite forced, but…distracted. Like she was going through the motions, her heart not in it. He slowed their kisses and pulled away, cupping her face in his hands and searching her eyes for answers.
“Och, love…Let me in. Ye can’t tell me this is a simple work issue. Not when everything about ye feels off. I’m here for ye, love. Ye know that, aye? Ye can trust me, Maggie. Let me help.”
She pulled away and shook her head, climbing off his lap to pace. “I do trust ye.”
“But?” He waited for her to say something. Anything. But when she refused to speak to him, he tried unsuccessfully to beat back his frustration. He leaned back on the sofa and ran his hand down his face.
Her eyes locked on his, his own frustration mirrored in her eyes. “What do ye want me to say, Conall? If I could include ye in this goddamned mess, then don’t ye think I would? But I can’t, damn it. Our relationship isn’t the only thing on the line here. I’m asking for a bit of space and consideration where this is issue is concerned. And if ye can’t give me that, then maybe you should go.” Those last words were spoken through a trembling jaw, her eyes shimmering with tears that refused to fall.
“I’ll go if ye want me to, but bloody hell, Maggie, I’m only trying to help.” Conall got to his feet and started heading for the door, wondering how it could all go so cursedly wrong.
For a moment, she looked like she might actually stop him from going, stop him from walking away.
But she didn’t.
***
By the end of the day, Conall was desperate for a distraction. Anything to keep himself from replaying Maggie’s every word, over and over again. He couldn’t see how or why everything had fallen to pieces. Had he asked for too much, or taken things too fast? Probably, though she’d seemed happy enough-until it all went to hell.
Was it any wonder he avoided relationships? He liked things to make sense, liked things to remain even-keeled. And relationships were never that.
“Maybe you’re just reading too much into it.” Rowan sat in the booth across from Conall with Angus at her side. She’d checked in on him, and then stated that a pint and a bit of company would be just the thing to cheer him up-whether he was in the mood to go the pub or not. “The impression I got is that she really likes you. And you just got back from Dublin. You said it went well, right?”
“Yes. No.” Conall sighed and played with his pint glass, picking it up and putting it down to leave interlocking rings of moisture on the surface of the well-polished table. “I don’t know. Parts of it were…amazing. But there were also awkward moments, like meeting her family-who were none too happy about her dating anyone at all, let alone someone who’d likely drag their daughter off to the middle of nowhere. We also ran into her ex. Always a fun experience.”
Angus sat back and laughed. “Isn’t that always the worst? Rowan’s ex still sends her roses. Regularly.”
“At least he’s on another continent-unlike your exes.” Rowan bumped Angus with her shoulder, throwing him a teasing smile. “It only took Lara two months and someone trying to kill me before she’d stop glaring at me.”
“I don’t know…Things were fine once we got back. I couldn’t have been happier-and she was happy too. I swear it.” He let out a deep breath, his chest tight with worr
y. “Then yesterday, everything changed. She’d spent the night and by the time I woke up come morning, things felt off between us, felt wrong. And now? She’s barely talking to me, damn it.”
It took all the energy he had to not punch the wall. Frustration knotted his muscles, his chest tight, every breath an effort. This was the exact reason he avoided anything more than a one-night stand. And yet…He let out a weary sigh. He’d happily walk over hot coals if she was waiting for him at the end of it.
Problem was, she wasn’t. She wasn’t there.
Rowan reached out and squeezed his hand. “Are you sure there’s actually a problem? Maybe she’s just in a bit of a mood. It’s not like you’re all peaches and cream every moment of every day.”
He raised his brows at that one. “She’s like night and day, Rowan. I wish it was just a bit of a mood that would soon pass, but…” His mind wandered to the depression she’d struggled with, but…this felt different.
“Then maybe it’s something she needs to work out on her own. I’m sure, once that’s sorted, everything will be back to normal. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Conall. Don’t give up on her just yet.”
“Believe me when I tell ye, that’s the last thing I want to do.” He loved her, damn it. And she loved him. So what the hell was the bloody problem?
A commotion at the bar pulled him from his thoughts. Lara was none too happy with one of her customers, the bloke getting more than an earful as she attempted to chuck him out. Not that the guy was moving fast enough for her taste, as her curses rode high above the noise in the pub.
As the man turned towards Lara, Conall saw his face-and it was as if the earth was falling out from under him. Sean. Maggie’s ex.
Suddenly, everything he thought, everything he believed, was pulled into question.
Barely realizing he was in motion, he caught Sean as he headed for the door. “What the hell are ye doing in Dunmuir?”
Sean looked at him as if trying to place him, before recognition settled on his features, all of it an act. “Ah. Maggie’s friend, yeah?”
Conall’s hands curled into fists, his anger fueled by suspicion and his past hurts. There was only one logical reason why Sean was in Dunmuir and that was Maggie. “More than her friend.”
Sean scoffed. “Is that what she led ye to believe? Ye poor sod. And you were daft enough to believe her? Didn’t ye know, there’s nothing Maggie likes more than to play those sorts of games.”
Anger boiled in Conall’s chest, but Angus had hold of his arm and pulled him away before things escalated. “Leave it, aye? He’s not worth it.”
With a grin, Sean stepped forward. “I’ll be sure to tell her you send yer regards.”
Conall struggled against Angus but couldn’t get free of his friend’s grip. “He’s just goading ye, aye? It means nothing.”
Once Sean was gone, Angus loosened his hold but didn’t let go completely, as if testing to see if Conall would go after the bastard. Conall took a deep breath to steady himself and get control of his anger.
“I can’t believe that arse.” Lara looked ready to murder Sean if he showed his face again. It was clear Conall had at least one formidable ally. “Tell Maggie that I’m sorry. She’s always welcome here, but that friend of hers is barred. The cheek of him!”
“Her friend? Is that what he said?” Conall ran a rough hand down his face and tried to push his anger to the side.
She pulled another pint, her gaze still on the door. “Aye-when she was here with him the other night. Though what she’s doing with that arse, I haven’t a clue.”
The other night…The only night they’d been apart was last night-when she’d cancelled their plans together. “When, Lara? When was she here-with Sean?”
“Last night. Sat in the booth right next to the one ye’re in.”
He turned to Angus, barely able to get the words out through his clenched jaw. “I have to go.”
Angus grabbed his arm. “Are ye going to tell me what the hell’s going on?”
“I need to talk to Maggie. If ye’ll excuse me.”
As he drove to Maggie’s cottage, his thoughts and doubts, the hurt and betrayal, were all-consuming. Yet he wasn’t ready to give up on her, still hoping there was a logical explanation.
Part of him wanted to think that she and Sean were nothing more than friends-or that Sean had shown up on his own. But then why not just tell him? Why push him away?
His anger flared again as Sean’s words haunted him. If she had gotten back together with her ex, if she had cheated on him, if she thought this nothing more than a game, it was a betrayal he didn’t think he’d recover from.
It was bad enough to go through it with Janet, but Maggie…He’d been so sure she was different. So sure of what they had. Of them. He thought he’d found the one. So how could he be so mistaken?
He pulled down Maggie’s drive, relieved to see that there weren’t any unfamiliar vehicles. This would be a difficult enough conversation to have without having Sean there to taunt him. And a good thing, too, since he might have to murder the bastard.
Of course it was Liam who answered the door. “I need to see Maggie.”
“She’s busy.” Liam got ready to close the door when Conall stopped him with a firm hand on the door’s surface. “Look…I like ye, but ye need to go-and ye need to leave my sister alone.”
“The only way that’s going to happen is if I talk to her first. If ye want me gone, the fastest way to accomplish that is to let me see her.” By the gods, he’d fight his way to her if he had to. He needed answers. He needed to know the truth. Because, more than anything, it would be the uncertainty that would kill him.
“Ye’re better off forgetting about her. Move on, yeah?” Liam stood up straight, his gaze challenging. “As for work, ye’ll now be dealing with me if ye need anything.”
“I’m not going, Liam. Not until I see her one last time.” Conall debated his options, but there were few outside of sheer stubbornness. And then he spotted Maggie at the top of the stairs. “Maggie!”
She wrapped her arms around herself, as if warding off a chill, but she didn’t come any closer.
“I’m not leaving until ye talk to me.” Though he was desperate for answers, seeing her again had his emotions in a tumult.
He breathed a little easier when she came down the stairs. “It’s fine, Liam.”
Liam cursed under his breath, but left with a final glare at Conall and unspoken words between him and his sister. As Maggie approached, Conall couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under her red eyes. It left him torn. Part of him wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, and the other part of him was still furious about Sean.
“I could do with a whisky. You?” Maggie stepped to the side to let him in, and then headed to the cabinet where there was a bottle of Jameson and a couple of glasses sitting on a small tray.
“Aye. May as well.” Conall thanked her for the drink and took a long sip, the heat of it like molten glass as it slipped down his throat and warmed him from the inside. It was just the fortification he needed. “I don’t mean to bother ye, Maggie, but I need answers and I need the truth.”
“Conall…things aren’t always that simple. Ye’re always looking for things to be black and white, and they’re not. They’re every shade in between. Nothing is ever so clear cut.” She let out a weary sigh and hung her head, as if the mere sight of him was too much to bear.
“I sure as hell didn’t think the way we felt about each other was just another grey area, Maggie. Sorry for being so foolish.” He grit his teeth to keep from swearing up a storm.
She looked away and bit her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around herself. “What do you want me to say, Conall? Things got a bit intense and I needed a break. Some space.”
“I could see that. Things did get intense.” Conall took another deep breath. “So, last night…I hope ye managed a quiet night at home. Did it help?”
She glanced at him and then look
ed away, her gaze avoiding his as she spoke. “Yeah. Time alone helped.”
“I don’t suppose ye want to try looking at me if ye’re going to lie,” Conall scoffed, not quite wanting to believe that history was repeating itself. “I know you were with Sean, Maggie. And damn it, if ye didn’t want to be with me, then ye could have bloody well said so.” With his heart breaking and feeling a fool, he turned to leave.
She grabbed his arm. “Wait. Don’t go.”
She took a step towards him, but his hurt had him backing away. “Why shouldn’t I? Or are ye going to tell me Sean’s just one more shade of grey?”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I never wanted to hurt ye, Conall. I hope ye know that.”
“Aye, well, not lying to me would’ve been a good start.” He took a deep breath to calm himself, and to push away the tumult of emotions that threatened. “It was the only thing I’d asked for. A bit of honesty. At least now I know the truth. I know where we stand.”
Her eyes finally locked on his, as if daring him to look away, her gaze fierce. “You know nothing, Conall. Not a single thing.”
Chapter Fifteen
Of course, Maggie still had to work with Conall, which only served to remind her why she’d fallen for him so hard. He’d done his best to avoid her, but Iain had informed them that they would be housing a few more precious items, and so a change had to be made to the schematics. Not exactly her brother’s area of expertise.
She had drafted up the first of the changes she’d be making and now waited for Conall to look them over and make his recommendations. He had his head bent over the papers she’d given him, his dark honey locks scruffy and unkempt, matching the thick stubble across his handsome face. Her heart ached for him, and she longed to have him close, making her want to tell him everything so he could take her in his arms and tell her everything would be fine.
“I’ll put yer changes in place once we finalize them.” He turned those intense amber eyes on her and then frowned, as he took her in. “Are ye all right?”