by Kara Hart
“I don’t know,” I say. “But I want to go out with you.”
“I never go to the beach,” he says. “You want to go to the beach?”
“It’s going to be freezing!” I exclaim.
“We’ll bring jackets. It’ll be nice to be by the water,” he shrugs. “What? Are you afraid or something?”
“I’m not afraid,” I say. “I’m just not going to catch a cold.”
“If you catch a cold, you can stay home with me some more,” he smiles. “I’ve thought this all through. It’s part of my elaborate plan to keep you near me.”
“You really are a little shit,” I say, jokingly. “Fine! We’ll go to the beach together. It does sound kind of fun.”
“Alright then!” he smiles big and finishes his breakfast extremely fast. “Let’s do it.”
“I have to put some clothes on first,” I laugh.
“Why would you ever want to do such a thing,” he says. “Can’t you just stay naked for me forever?”
“You wish,” I say, walking to my room.
“I really do,” he laughs.
The drive is actually much further than we thought, but after about an hour and a half of driving, we get there. No one is in sight, of course. It’s far too cold to be going to the beach right now. We’re crazy for making this trip.
“You look so damn cute,” he says, touching my sundress.
“I don’t feel too cute,” I frown. “It’s freezing!”
“Good thing I brought all of these blankets,” he says.
He proudly holds up a large bag of at least four blankets.
“We’re insane, right? I mean, we have to be insane,” I say.
“Oh, most definitely,” he says. “We have fully lost it at this point. Funny thing is, I actually don’t think I ever want to come back down to reality, to be honest.”
“Me neither,” I smile.
“Race you to the sand?” he asks.
I nod and start running before him. “Go!” I scream.
“You cheated!” he yells, laughing wildly.
We reach the sand and he stops running, but I turn to him and tackle him into the sand.
“Cheater,” he laughs, exhausted.
I jump up and kiss him, smiling. But then I remember the bad things. Cheater. He was a cheater back then, in the worst way.
I was told he took that girl into the bathroom and that’s where it all went down. I was told that he said he loved her.
But as I look at him now, he doesn’t look like a bad guy and he’s acting like he really likes me. Still, there’s the fear that he could turn into a different person at any second. That happens to so many people. It happened to Sandra. I just don’t want it to happen to me.
“Ah, it’s so cold!” My teeth are chattering.
He warms me up by moving his hands up and down my body. We both grab some blankets and lay them out on the sand, as well as on top of us.
After everything is set out, we’re just looking at the water and smiling. Life feels so relaxing and good, despite the cold temperatures.
He puts his arm around me and I turn to hold him. There’s the soft sound of water hitting the sand.
In the near distance, the old trees sway against the cold wind. Every so often, a runner in winter clothing passes by our blanket fort and smiles. This is the life I’ve always pictured for myself.
“I’ve always wanted to live by the water,” I tell him. “But it’s too far from my work.”
“You should always keep that goal in your mind. Keep going after it,” he says. “It’s not impossible.”
“Someday,” I smile. “I’ll have a big house with wide windows and a door that opens up to sand.”
“That sounds perfect,” he smiles. “Can I come over?”
“Anytime,” I say.
The noises from the sea pick up, but we’re lost in each other’s eyes, and the dreams we’re beginning to create with each other.
“Maybe I’ll buy a house right next door.” He winks.
“Or maybe you can just move in,” I say.
“Do I have to pay rent?” he jokes.
“The whole damn bill,” I sneer.
“Fine,” he says. “It’s a deal.”
“Remember when we used to lie down together outside and look at the stars?” I ask him, staring ahead at the clouds.
“We were the dreamers,” he nods. “We thought we could take on the world.”
“We did take on the world.” I smile and hold him close to me. “No one could stop us.”
“Your mom used to get so angry.” He laughs hard at the thought.
“Yeah, and you used to love that!” I laugh too. “Remember? We’d have to sneak and call each other, making sure the phone never actually rang.”
“I think I was banned from your house for a whole month because of that,” he says.
“It just made me want you even more,” I say, thinking back on it.
The feelings we once had… they were huge. They filled your body with passion, dedication, and total yearning. Sneaking out and being secretive made us feel like everything was a mission that could be compromised at any moment. Everything was so damn important.
To be honest, it’s how things feel right now. There are no parents to tell you “no” anymore. The only person that can do that is you, which is part of the problem.
When you’re older, you realize the heavy reality of these experiences. It can end in an instant. Something small can happen and change everything.
You could be holding each other, and two seconds later, you could be separated. You just never know what is about to happen.
“I feel that way now,” he says. “Like this is really important.”
Before I can smile back, I hear the tide again. Only, it’s really close. Right when I look up, the water hits us and we’re soaking wet.
“No!” we both scream, jumping up. “Oh shit,” I sigh.
“Back to the car,” he says, quickly packing everything up. “Holy shit, I’m dripping.”
“There’s that cold that I wanted. I’m going to be so sick tomorrow. I know it!”
I laugh, but it’s not that funny. I’m freezing to death.
We run back to the car and throw the dripping, sandy blankets into his trunk. He blasts the heat and turns on the seat heaters, and we both start laughing like crazy.
“Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea, huh?” He wrings his shirt out.
“It was nice while it lasted,” I say. “Let’s come back in the Summer.”
“Deal,” he says.We begin the trek back home.
It’s odd what paths life gives you to explore. Ultimately, it comes back around and shocks you in the strangest ways.
I know he’s capable of being shitty. All men are, in a way. I guess women can be too. I’ve been known to be harsh and to not call back dates I didn’t enjoy. But this is different. This is reconciliation, desire, and re-finding my old self.
But just like the tide, it too rises and falls. I just have to be careful not to get too wet.
Chapter 18: Cole
We left the beach as a pair of dripping, soaking messes. Although it was cold as hell, I felt warm that day. When I got home, I fell asleep, alone.
Why didn’t I stay over? You can’t bask in happiness every single day. Plus, I’m worried I’m going to fuck this up somehow.
She’s just so pure. What the hell am I? I’m not pure. I can tell you that much. I’m just a regular guy.
But I have work to do. I need to keep myself in shape at the gym, just in case the chief calls us back to the station.
Of course, right when I finish pumping iron, Eric takes me to the bar across the street. I swear, I’ve already gained five pounds on this beer.
As Eric and I sit in this bar, I can’t keep my head straight. Olivia, Olivia, Olivia. She’s always on my mind and it’s starting to really get to me.
What am I feeling for her? Is this more than a couple of hot fucks? Will this end like the la
st time?
“Okay, so it’s time to get our head in the game. All we have to do is prove to the chief that we can work again…”
Eric can’t stop rambling on about being back at the station. I don’t have the heart to tell him we’re not ready.
I grab my phone and stare at the screen for a good few minutes. I want to call her so bad, but she’s at work and I know she won’t answer.
Still, it’s gnawing at me. Her tits pressed against my face, her ass smashing my cock, and the weight of our desires clawing at our backs. That’s what I want to do for a living. I could care less about being the world’s hero right now.
“You’re thinking about her again,” Eric says. “Aren’t you?”
I nod, like an ashamed little boy who stole some gum. “I can’t stop, man. It’s painful,” I admit.
“Just keep drinking,” he says. “It’ll ease the pain.”
“I think it only makes it worse,” I groan.
I give a fake laugh and slump in my chair. What the hell is wrong with me? Where has my cocky attitude gone? I’m a shell of my old self, all because of my deep obsession.
“I told you that you’d get like this. Didn’t I warn you?” He lifts his glass, takes a steady pull, and clears his throat after his beer goes down.
He goes on. “You told me you’d be chill. Now look at you. You are freaking out. It’s pathetic. You can’t put your phone down.”
“Fuck off, man,” I growl. “We have history. It’s deep and it’s some crazy shit.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Excuses. Look, why don’t you propose already? You obviously love the girl,” he says. “Might as well make the next move and sell your freedom forever.”
“Freedom?” I ask.
What freedom have I ever had? Maybe I’ve had the occasional moment where illusion becomes bigger than reality. Sure, that feels like freedom.
In the end, I’ve always been chained to my desires. I’ve always been waiting for someone to steal my heart and teach me what it really is to live a good, respectable life.
Christ, what am I saying? Eric might be right this time. I might be losing my head. I feel so bogged down all the time, unless I’m with her. Is that a bad or a good sign?
“Freedom,” he spells it out for me. “You know. It’s the ability to not give a fuck. You don’t have to report to anyone. There’s no getting yelled at, no one on your back, and no one begging you to buy things for them. That’s about as free as you can get, brother.”
“I don’t care about money,.” I shrug. “It’s all just a means to an end. It’s just some temporary happiness. I’d rather spend it on her. Ultimately, money doesn’t fill any void in my life. You know?”
“No, man. I don’t know. You’ve gone completely existential. You’re kind of scaring me, to be honest. What has happened to you? Come back!” He exclaims, with a crooked smile.
“I don’t know. It’s just that we had such a good day together. And the night before was insane. I had the best sex of my life, we got wasted, and I woke up to the most beautiful woman in the world,” I say.
“Right, so you’re life is clearly going terribly now that you have to sit here with me for two hours,” he says, clearly annoyed.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not saying that,” I say.
“Well, I don’t know what you have to complain about. You have it all. A hot woman, a killer job, and a good opportunity. It’s not like she hates you or something. Stop feeling so down all the time. You’re luckier than me,” he says.
“Yeah, I know. I need to calm down. I just keep thinking that I’ll fuck this up somehow,” I say.
“You won’t. It’s not in your nature to fuck things up,” he says. “Me, on the other hand…”
I laugh a little, but I don’t want to offend him. “Shit, how’d the date with Sandra go, by the way?” I ask him.
He grins, as if he has a secret to share. “She’s a firecracker,” he laughs. “A real fucking American woman.”
“Did she blow you in the back of your truck or something?” I laugh.
“No, more like in the bathroom of the movie theater,” he smiles.
I frown at him. I hope this doesn’t complicate things.
“What?” he asks. “She liked it. She said thanks.”
“Oh, God. Don’t be an asshole,” I say.
“You know, if this was a month ago, you’d be high-fiving me right now. See what I mean? You’re changing and it’s happening fast,” he says.
I finish my drink and stand up. “Alright, meeting adjourned,” I say.
“You’re pissed at me, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Nah, it’s all good, man. I’ll see you tomorrow. Cool?” I hold out my fist to pound his, but he doesn’t raise his back.
“Alright,” he says. “See you tomorrow.”
I walk out of the bar without giving two fucks what Eric thinks. He knows we’ll always be friends. We’re practically brothers. That’s all that matters.
He can say whatever he wants about me, and my newfound affections. It doesn’t sway me to one side or the other. It doesn’t get her out of my head.
It doesn’t get those sexy fucking legs out of my imagination. It doesn’t get that ass, those perfect, tear drop tits, and the feeling of her skin against mine, out of my head.
When I finally get home, I’m still a little drunk from all the beer. I can’t stop fantasizing about her. The images in my head grow more intense.
I start to think about every wrong thing we could do together. I want to tie her up. I want to make her my sex toy. I think she’d actually like it if I did.
I picture her pouting her thick lips at me and batting her eyelashes, while she slowly pulls down her panties as I stand above her, hard as a fucking rock.
She reaches out and touches the tip. She takes a droplet of my precum and uses it as lube to wet herself even more than she already is.
I imagine pouring oil all over her until she’s glistening against the dark light of the room. I imagine how good it feels when I finally put it inside her, sliding all the way in, until I can’t push any further. I picture her gasping for air and clawing against my shoulder blades.
In reality, I’m sitting on my couch, unable to stop myself. I’m so fucking hard, just by thinking about her. My cock is throbbing with each solid heartbeat.
I start by running my fingers up and down my shaft. I imagine that it’s her soft hand against my rigid skin. I close my eyes and I can picture her. I can picture her spreading her lips apart for me.
She’s begging for me. She’s on her knees, pleading for me.
“Cole,” she whispers my name, “I’ll do anything for you.”
Her warm lips wrap around my head. For a split second, I can’t comprehend going in any further, for fear I might cum in seconds. But I breathe in deep and control myself. I push it in deeper and she moans softly.
Her moans are so fucking womanly. Her body is one of a goddess. She is the definition of sex appeal and she knows it. Jessica Rabbits has nothing on her.
I grasp my cock and spit down, getting it wet enough that I can pretend it’s her. I’m so close to cumming. I keep holding myself back.
Right when I get to the edge, I let go and take a breath. The pleasure just keeps building. Yeah, tonight I’m a total pervert and I don’t give a two fucks about it. Olivia drives me crazy.
I place my hand back on my shaft and open my eyes. The doorbell rings.
“Shit,” I sigh.
It’s probably Eric. Either that, or it’s the mailman. I can’t exactly answer the door, though. I’m completely naked and dick won’t go back down.
Then the door opens and I jump up. It’s Olivia and she’s staring right at me.
“Um, what did I just walk into?” she asks.
Startled by this image, she takes a step back, but then after processing everything, her worried frown turns into a big smile.
My heart is thumping fast and I have an erection as po
werful as the atom bomb right now. There’s something about her perfect timing that makes my blood pump in the best way possible.
“You want me to stop?” I smile and wait for her response.
She drops her purse and takes a step forward, throwing off her coat.
“Keep touching yourself,” she says.
“I didn’t know you’d come by,” I say.
“Got out early,” she says.
She moves forward and takes off her shirt, slowly. She bends down in front of me.
“I’m glad I came by when I did,” she says.
I swallow hard and feel the click in the back of my throat push against my Adam’s apple. When she takes off her bra and arches her back, she knows she’s driving me crazy.
I’m as horny as I can ever be right now and, yes, she’s the one in charge this time.
“You love my tits, don’t you?” She smiles and pushes them out for me.
I reach out to touch, but she smacks my hand away. “No touching. Keep your hands to yourself.”
This, of course, throws me off guard. Though, it makes everything all the more intense.
“You’re killing me, baby,” I groan.
However, I start stroking my cock anyway, building myself back up.
She bends over for me and pulls her pants past her ass, down to her pussy. She keeps them on around her thighs. She just holding them there.
“Keep doing it,” she says. “I want to see how long you can last.”
“About ten seconds,” I moan, sliding my hand up and down slowly.
Finally, she removes every article of clothing and walks up to me on all fours. I’m fucking dying and she can see it. She knows just how hard this is for me.
My eyes are watering at this point. She places her mouth centimeters away from the tip. She curls her tongue and lightly brushes the underside of my cock.
Then, she quickly retreats and smiles. I feel her breath nearly brush against the head. I close my eyes and groan loudly.
“Why?” I plead. “You want to kill your boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?” she asks. One eyebrow is raised with curiosity.
“I thought maybe…”
“You can be my boyfriend,” she says. “For now.”
Finally, she opens her mouth and my cock slides right in. I swear, she slides it in deeper and deeper. It touches the back of her throat. She holds it there like the good girl she is.