by Cathryn Fox
My gut clenches. I hate lying to my best friend, but what the hell am I supposed to do? “We’ve been doing okay. She’s a great help. I’m not looking forward to her leaving.”
“Is that why none of the nannies are suitable? You want to keep Quinn here?”
I’m glad my back is to him, because the guy can read me like a book. One look at my face and he’d see right through me. That yes, none of the nannies are suitable, because none of the nannies are Quinn. I find fault with everyone we interview, and while Quinn does too, she keeps reminding me she’s not going to be staying with us forever.
“She’s just really good with kids. Daisy loves her.”
“I think Quinn feels the same way about Daisy.” I hear the worry in his voice.
“What?” I ask.
“I just don’t want to see either of you hurt.”
I go stiff and suck in a fast breath. “What do you mean?”
“What if Shari comes back, Jonah? What if she takes Daisy away?”
“I won’t let that happen. She’s my daughter too, and Shari just abandoned her.” I turn and find Zander looking at me. “What she did was wrong. You of all people know that.”
He nods. “I know, but…maybe you should talk to your dad, get some legal advice here.”
I grip the back of my neck and rub as worry prowls through my body. “Where is all this coming from?” I ask, getting the sense that he knows something I don’t.
“Yesterday, at the park. I was almost certain I saw Shari pull up in her car not too far behind you.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, my phone pings. I stare at it, my heart jumping into my throat.
“You better get that,” Zander says.
I reach for my phone, and relax when I see it’s a text from Quinn. But then a new kind of worry tears through me.
“What?” Zander asks when I tense.
“Daisy is running a fever. Quinn is bringing her home.” I glance up from my phone. Here I thought I was getting the hang of things, but when push comes to shove, I have no idea how to help a sick child. Thank God for Quinn. “This is bad, isn’t it?”
Zander steps up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Kids get fevers all the time. It’s probably just something she picked up at the park. Everyone was fussing all over her yesterday.”
I nod, not convinced. “I should run to the drugstore to get some medication.”
“Good idea. I’ll stay here and paint and wait for Quinn.”
I set my roller down, and I’m just about to shove my phone in my pocket when it pings again. I grab it, expecting it to be Quinn.
When I see who the text is from this time, the room goes fuzzy around the edges.
“Jonah?” Zander says. “What now? Is it…Daisy?”
I hold the phone out to show him the message from Shari, and he reads it out loud
Can I see you? Coffee at Feldman’s tonight?
Concerned blue eyes meet mine, and he scrubs his hand over the back of his neck. “Shit, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I stare at the message. “Girls need their mothers, but after what she did…” I go quiet for a moment, mull this over then say, “Right now, I have to get Daisy her medicine. I’ll deal with Shari later.”
With my stomach twisted in knots, I head downstairs, grab my keys from the counter, and step outside. The sun is high in the sky, warming me instantly as I jump into my car and jack the air. I take off, head to the pharmacy to grab what I need, then return home to find Quinn’s car in the driveway. Will Zander have filled her in? If so, how will she feel about Shari’s text?
I hurry inside, and the three people I care about with everything in me are sitting in the living room. Quinn is fully focused on Daisy, and I get the sense Zander is waiting for me to tell her about Shari.
“How is she?” I ask and cross the room. I put my hand on her forehead, the way my mom used to do with me. She feels warm, but no warmer than usual. Man, I really suck at this. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are a bit glossy.
“It’s low-grade,” Quinn explains, as I lift the paper bag and dump the medicine onto the coffee table. “Nothing to worry about, but we can’t keep her at the daycare and risk other children catching it.”
Zander laughs as the medicine spills from the bag, some landing on the floor. “Did you buy one of everything?”
“Yeah,” I say and grip the back of my neck as I take in a fussing Daisy. “I wasn’t sure what she needed.”
“Children’s acetaminophen will do,” Quinn says, and I root through the boxes until I find what she needs. “Did you set her crib up in your bedroom?” she asks.
With the paint fumes, we planned for her to sleep with us anyway. Now I’m glad I moved her crib. I want her near me, to be able to keep a watchful eye on her. “Yeah. I didn’t finish the painting, though.”
“That’s okay. I’m going to give her some medicine and put her to bed.”
“Do you have to go back to work?” I ask, panic lacing my voice as I drop onto the sofa.
“No, I called in a sub. I figured you’d want me here to help Daisy.” As if sensing her brother’s gaze latched on her, her glance darts to Zander, and I see the way he’s watching the two of us.
“Thanks,” I say, and this time my phone rings. All eyes shoot to me. I grab my phone, check caller ID. “My parents,” I say, and swipe my finger across the screen as Quinn heads to the stairs.
“Mom, hey, how’s it going?”
“We’re on our way to your place right now.”
I briefly close my eyes. “Everything is under control,” I say. “You didn’t need to cut your vacation short.”
“We wanted to. We’ve had time to think this over, and you’re obviously going to need my help, and we want to see our grandchild, Jonah.”
I nod, even though they can’t see me. “I can understand that, but Quinn is just putting her to bed. She has a low-grade fever.” I exhale softly. “I don’t know what I would have done without Quinn.” My eyes lift, and I note again the way Zander is staring at me.
“Did you give her children’s acetaminophen?” she asks quickly.
I hear Dad in the background asking questions, then a car horn blares.
“I did. Quinn says it’s nothing to worry about.”
“Okay, good. We’re almost there. See you shortly”
Zander stands after I end the call. “On that note, I’m out of here.”
“What? You don’t want to stay for the inquisition?” Not that I can blame him. I don’t either.
“I’d do just about anything for you, pal. But you’re on your own with this one.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “If you want to talk about Shari later, give me a call.”
I grip my hair and tug. “Shit, yeah. I don’t know what to do.”
Zander leaves, and I walk him to the door. I step outside, sit on the front steps, and consider my next move with Shari. Is she calling because she wants Daisy back, or maybe she wants to work out some kind of arrangement? I can’t say no. She’s the child’s mother, and I doubt the law would grant me full custody. They probably wouldn’t like the idea of me being on the road and Daisy left with a nanny. If she was left with Quinn, however—
Wait, what the hell am I saying? I can’t keep Quinn here with me forever. She has her own life, and she made it perfectly clear she wasn’t interested in having a family. Zander said she was falling for Daisy. But that doesn’t mean she wants to be her sole caregiver—her mother.
Unless she was falling for me too…
Damn. Damn. Damn.
I need to stop thinking like that. We’re having sex, and she’s not looking for more.
Am I?
Before I can answer that question, Mom and Dad pull into the driveway, and I stand. Mom jumps from the passenger seat and hurries to me. She cups my cheeks, looks me over.
“Have you been getting any sleep?”
“Yes,” I say, even though I’ve been gett
ing very little. “I’m fine, Mom.” Dad steps up to me and we shake hands. “You didn’t have to rush home.”
“We wanted to, son. We want to meet your daughter,” he says, but I can read between the lines. There’s a full-on interrogation about to happen.
“Come on in, then.”
They follow me inside and the air conditioning is a nice break from the heat. “Quinn put her to bed, so we need to keep our voices down.” I lead them upstairs, and my pulse jumps when Quinn’s soft voice reaches my ears. She’s humming a lullaby to Daisy.
“Hey,” I say quietly, and when she spins to see me, a soft smile on her mouth, I know I’m in fucking trouble. She glances past my shoulders.
“Oh, I didn’t—”
“Mom and Dad came home early. They wanted to meet Daisy.”
“Let me get out of your way.”
I step up to her, and brush my knuckles over hers. “No, stay,” I say, wanting her with me when my folks meet Daisy.
“Quinn,” my mother says and gives her a hug. “It’s so good to see you, and thank you for helping Jonah out. He told me he’d be lost without you.”
Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles. “We’re like family,” she says, and this time I note that she’s no longer calling me her brother. Good thing, because that’s just wrong. But we are like family. At least for these last couple weeks we’ve been playing house. My dad greets Quinn, and then everyone turns their attention to a sleeping Daisy.
“Jonah, she’s beautiful,” Mom says.
I smile at that. Proud of my little girl.
“He’s so good with her, Alice.” Quinn puts her hand on my arm, and her heat sinks into my skin, curls around my heart. “You would be so proud of the way he’s stepped up. I know I am.”
My chest swells, and Mom gives me a little hug, but her eyes are on the way Quinn just touched me. “We raised him right,” she says, a new light in her eyes as she focuses back in on me. She studies me for a minute, and I catch a spark of something in her eyes before she looks away. Damn, does she know what Quinn and I’ve really been doing?
“That you did,” Quinn says. “You should be proud.”
Mom leans into the crib. “I can’t wait to hold her.”
“She’ll likely sleep for a few hours,” Quinn says, and tucks a light blanket around the baby. “The medicine knocked her out.”
“Let’s let her sleep.” Mom smiles. “There will be plenty of time for hugs later,” she says and ushers us out of the room, but Quinn stays behind.
“I haven’t finished my lullaby,” she says, and I get the sense that she wants to stay upstairs to watch over Daisy.
“We’re all so very lucky to have you,” Mom says before we head downstairs.
“Drink?” I ask, and they both shake their heads no as they sit, clearly wanting to get to the heart of matters.
“You seem to have everything under control, Jonah,” my mother says. “Quinn is quite something. She really cares about that child. Very maternal, a nurturer by nature.”
Before I can answer, Dad pipes in. “What will you do when practice starts up in a couple of weeks? When you have to go back on the road again?” He leans forward and steeples his fingers like he always does when he’s serious. “You’ve worked too long and hard for your career, Jonah. It’s all you ever wanted.” He pauses, then adds, “What can your mother and I do to help you manage all this?”
“It’s okay, Dad. I appreciate the offer, but Quinn and I have been searching for a nanny.”
“How is that going?” Mom asks.
“Slow. We’ve interviewed a few people, but I want to make sure I pick the right one. I don’t want to leave my child with just anyone.”
Mom nods. “Totally understandable, which leads me to my next question. Where is her mother?”
“She dropped her off one morning and vanished,” I say. “I hadn’t heard from her until today.”
“She contacted you?” Dad asks.
She wants to meet me for coffee tonight.” The stairs creak and I glance up to see Quinn, and she grimaces.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” she says. “I…ah…just want to grab that ear thermometer.” She hurries into the room and avoids looking at me as she grabs the new thermometer off the coffee table. A second later, she’s back upstairs, and I have two sets of concerned eyes staring at me.
“Do you think she’s going to try to take Daisy away?” Mom asks in a panic. She turns to Dad. “Your father will fight it in court, won’t you, Donald?”
He holds his hands up. “Before we get ahead of ourselves, you’re going to need to meet with her and talk to her. For all we know, maybe she wants you both back.”
I don’t bother telling him that what I had with Shari was only a fling. There was never anything meaningful or deeper. I’ve never wanted that with anyone…until now.
Shit.
“I mean, a child does need a mother and a father, right?” Dad says.
“Yeah,” I agree.
“Maybe you should be thinking of doing the right thing.” I brace myself for what’s coming next. “Hockey is the most important thing in the world to you, so maybe you should get married, then your daughter will be cared for by her rightful mother, freeing you of worry when you go back on the road.”
Rightful mother?
How does she have any rights when she up and abandoned her daughter—leaving her with a guy like me—without so much as leaving me a car seat, or a contact number if anything goes wrong? Quinn stepped up to the bat without question. Quinn should be Daisy’s mother, goddammit. Too bad a family is the last thing in the world she wants.
12
Quinn
With Jonah out meeting Shari for coffee, and Daisy asleep in the master suite, I finish the painting in her room, needing something to occupy my hands and my thoughts. Nervous energy wells up inside me and I can’t stop my mind from racing, from playing out every possible scenario.
Ever since I overheard Jonah’s parents telling him he should do the right thing, I’ve been a mess.
Do I think he should marry the mother of his child? Hell no. Why should they set themselves up for that kind of disaster, and in the end, it’s only going to hurt Daisy. Jonah will come to resent Shari, the same way my mom came to resent Dad after they had kids. Eventually she left to pursue dreams a family kept her from, and if hockey is Jonah’s true love, and he’s not ready for this, he just might end up leaving everyone behind, too.
I finish the last touches on the wall and stand back to admire the color. It’s bright, but I’m sure Daisy will love it. I wipe my hand across my forehead and drop the brush into the tray just as the downstairs door opens. My heart leaps into my throat. I’m anxious to hear how tonight went, but I’m also terrified. What if he does follow his parents’ advice? What if he comes up here and asks me to pack my things?
Why do I have to keep reminding myself we’re just having sex while playing house?
His footsteps are slow, and I sense his trepidation, like he’s not in a hurry to share the news with me. I suck in a breath and let it out slowly to prepare myself. I step into the hall to meet him and he’s rubbing the back of his neck as he comes close. Never a good sign.
“Hey,” I say, and he glances up. He smiles when he sees me, and my stomach flips. “You okay?” I ask, even though it’s clear he’s not.
He nods. “How is Daisy?” He looks at his bedroom door.
“Sleeping quietly. She had something to eat and her fever is coming down. I think she was just teething.” He nods, walks past me, and steps into the bedroom for a second to check on her, something any good father would do. My heart swells. He may not have been a natural with her, but the bond is growing and even without conscious thought, he’s putting her well-being first.
When he comes back out, his gaze rakes the length of me. “You’ve been painting?”
“I finished her room off. Come see. It looks great.”
We both step into the room a
nd he looks around, but it’s easy to tell he’s preoccupied. I want to ask what Shari wanted, but I bite my tongue. He turns back to me and the corners of his mouth curve. “You have paint on your face,” he says quietly, and wipes at my forehead.
“I know. I’m a mess,” I say. It’s true, I am a mess. In more ways than one.
He shoves his hands into his pockets, and his jeans ride low on his hips. “I was thinking about jumping into the pool. Do a few laps, cool down.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He arches a brow. “Join me?”
“I don’t have a suit.”
“You don’t need one. Back yard is private.” He glances over my shoulder and his hand captures mine. He’s in such a weird mood, I don’t know what to make of it. “We’ll take the baby monitor out with us, in case Daisy wakes.”
He guides me into the hallway and keeps his hand in mine as we make our way down the stairs. I grab the baby monitor, and we step out into the warm night. Jonah makes quick work of his clothes, and I admire his body, more tense than usual as he dives into the deep end and does a few fast laps. I undress, fold my clothes and place them on a chair, and make my way to the shallow end. I dip my toe in and shiver.
Jonah surfaces at the other end. “It’s cold,” I say, and he laughs.
“Not once you’re in.” I tentatively take the first step. “You have to the count of three, then I’m coming to get you.”
“You wouldn’t,” I yell, but I’m happy to see he’s his old playful self.
“Try me.”
Dammit, I know him well enough to know he’ll follow through. I hurry to the next step, and goose bumps break out on my skin.
“Time’s up.” Jonah dives under the water, and I track him as I take the third step. He comes up in front of me and I squeal. His arms go around me, and while he’s making me wet and cold, I don’t want to push him away.
His lips find mine, and he falls backward, kissing me as we both go under. I wrap my arms around him and hold on. We finally surface and both gasp for air.