Allie felt sheepish, but nodded, tired of pretense. “That’s an accurate statement. I am.”
Michael’s blond brows drew together. “Why’s that?”
“We broke up.” Allie placed the platter on the counter with a sigh. “You were dating another woman when we were engaged. That’s called betrayal.”
“That’s called a mistake on my part.” The muscle in his jaw worked. “And I’m sorry it happened.”
“Admitting it was a mistake and being sorry don’t mend betrayal. Not for me. You were living a lie.”
“Something I’ll regret the rest of my life.”
The pain he felt was obvious, but his duplicity had almost destroyed her. Allie shook her head. “I found you kissing another woman. Then you told me you weren’t sure what you wanted—”
“I wasn’t sure, but that made me realize it’s you I want. Only you, Allie.”
“If you weren’t sure, you shouldn’t have gotten engaged to me to begin with. I’m sorry, Michael.” Allie picked up the platter. “It’s over.”
He drew closer. Too close. “Who’s this Derrick?”
“Exactly who he said he was. A businessman passing through town.”
“Then what’s he doing here at the picnic?”
“Not by my invitation, and none of anyone’s business.”
Anger flashed in Michael’s eyes. “Are you going to tell me you don’t love me anymore? That you can forget what we had between us?”
Had he always been petulant and pushy, and she just hadn’t seen the real Michael?
“There is no ‘us.’ It’s over.” She walked toward the screen door, but he jumped in front of her and held it open.
Outside she headed for the grill manned by the pastor. Ma stood next to him chatting. Michael hovered near the back door and began to chat with a local family, much to her relief. Allie studiously avoided meeting his gaze.
Pastor began to put burgers on the grill. “I’m not an expert, but your mother asked me to do this.”
Allie shrugged. “You’ll be fine. Thank you for doing it.” She was relieved. She wouldn’t have to man the grill. The way she felt today, she’d probably burn the burgers to a crisp.
She glanced around, not wanting to admit to herself she was looking for Derrick. She finally spied him with Shannon, nose to nose in conversation, partially hidden by a tree. Her legs felt frozen, and she couldn’t tear her gaze from the picture in front of her.
Shannon’s long hair hung free, blowing in the breeze. Her light skin and hair looked striking next to Derrick’s dark hair and tanned complexion. How humiliating to feel jealousy over a man who meant nothing to her! Her cheeks heated. A good thing God allowed people’s thoughts to stay private—but what was in her heart? Pining over Derrick Owens, a total stranger?
Ma joined her. “Honey, you look like you’ve been sucking lemons. What’s wrong?”
“What isn’t wrong?” Allie snapped.
“Allie,” Pastor John said. “How about we sit and talk?”
Allie dropped onto the bench and held back a sigh. Everybody knew that a “talk” with pastor meant a serious sermon. Why couldn’t she keep her feelings to herself?
“Your mother was telling me about your financial situation.”
Allie shot her mom a withering look. Great. On top of everything else, now everyone would know the Vahns were headed for bankruptcy.
The pastor smiled and touched her arm. “I know it’s hard to share things like this, but we need each other. We can agree with you in prayer that God intervene and do a miracle.”
“Seems we’ve been a little short of those lately,” Allie blurted before she could stop herself.
Ma opened her mouth to speak, but Pastor continued. “I understand why you would say that. I don’t have any pat answers for you. I wish I did. However, God is still in the miracle business. He still answers prayers.”
And there in a nutshell was Allie’s biggest issue. If God still answered prayers, why were things so difficult for her? For Ma and Danny?
But for her mother’s sake, Allie agreed. They bowed their heads, and she tried to listen, but her thoughts were too loud. She wanted to believe. She wanted to return to the strength of faith she’d had several years ago, but her relationship with the Lord had been eroded by her experiences. Michael’s faithlessness. Luke’s deception. Luke’s and Cindy’s deaths. Logically she understood the Lord wasn’t a puppet master. People made their own choices. Things happened based on those choices. But she still felt let down, and she’d grown cold in her faith. So why would God respond to her prayers now?
Eight
After the picnic Allie was cleaning the kitchen with Shannon. Through the window over the sink, she saw Derrick and Danny helping Ma roll the grill to the old shed in the backyard. Odd. . .he looked so familiar, like he belonged.
“Michael didn’t stay long,” Shannon said.
“That’s because I told him under no uncertain terms that our relationship was over. Completely over.”
Shannon snorted. “You’ve done that already.”
“And already and already and already,” Allie said. “He seems to think dating another woman behind my back was just fine as long as it led him back to me.”
“He’s justifying himself.” Shannon loaded the last glass in the dishwasher. “Like if his bad actions led to a good result, it’s okay.”
“Yeah.” Leave it to Shannon to analyze the situation. “And it’s not just that he did it or tried to justify it. The thing that bothers me most is he’s never admitted it was wrong. He said it was a mistake and he was sorry, but sorry for what? That he got caught? It’s almost as if I should be glad it happened because he ultimately decided I’m the right girl for him.”
“I’m not surprised.” Shannon wagged her head. “I never liked him, as you know. He was too good for a lot of the simple things in life. He would never have stooped low enough to drink my tea or play Scrabble with us.”
Shannon’s words were true, and she was sure her friend meant to point out a fundamental difference between Michael and Derrick. Michael was a snob. Derrick wasn’t. Funny that would be so obvious even though they hardly knew Derrick at all. Or maybe Shannon was getting to know him better than Allie thought.
“I’m a fine one to talk about being snobbish, though.” Allie shoved a plastic pitcher of juice into the refrigerator.
“What do you mean?” Shannon scowled. “You’re nothing like Michael.”
“Maybe not, but I have my own issues.” She glanced at her friend, then at the floor. “I’m pretty mad at God right now, along with people—men—I can’t trust.”
“Oh, that. Don’t worry.” Shannon waved her hand in the air. “The key is to keep the communication open with God. Don’t stop talking to Him. Ask for forgiveness. He’ll deal with your heart, and the feelings will follow.”
“I suppose.” Shannon’s encouragement didn’t assuage her guilt; it only made her irritable that her best friend had an easy friendship with God. And maybe the picture in her head of Shannon and Derrick didn’t help. “What were you and Derrick talking about earlier?” Allie inspected the countertop like the question meant nothing to her.
“Business,” Shannon said, not looking up.
Allie attacked the sink with cleanser and a sponge. “What kind of business?”
“Yours and mine.” Shannon dried a pot and put it in the cupboard. “I told you he’s going to help me find a property to rent in the Tri-Cities, right?”
“Yes.” That meant Shannon and Derrick would be working together. Allie felt the stab of jealousy again and shook her head. Ridiculous.
Shannon gave her a sidelong glance. “We also discussed your situation. He might be able to help you sell some land.”
“That again?” Allie slapped the sponge into its plastic holder behind the sink. “Why is everyone talking to everyone else about my personal business?”
“Gee, that’s an overstatement. I only meant to—”
Ma, Danny, and Derrick walked into the kitchen, all three laughing. Then Ma held up a rectangle of paper. “The pastor gave us a check, Allie. It’s from a fund at church for parishioners in situations like ours. It will help get us through this month.”
Allie wanted to shush her mother in front of Derrick. Not everyone needed to know their financial woes.
“Derrick!” Shannon flapped a dish towel in his direction. “Tell Allie what you said about the land.”
Derrick dropped onto a kitchen chair, looking as if he’d been a part of the family forever. “I might be able to help you sell part of your land. I have a buyer looking for investment property—possibly to subdivide and build houses. That’s why I’m in town.”
“And that’s not all.” Shannon motioned for him to continue.
He nodded. “I thought you could give me a quick tour of the place. I’ll go back to the office and poke around a little bit, look at other listings, run some figures on comparable properties. Talk to some people. Then if things look good, I’ll have to come back for a longer look.”
Allie swallowed. When all was said and done, she didn’t want to sell. Especially to someone who was going to build a subdivision. She loved her home and the privacy it afforded them. But what choice did she have?
“Go show him around before it gets too late.” Ma stuck a card on the refrigerator with a magnet. “Derrick’s business card.”
“I’m coming outside with you!” Danny crowed. “I want to show Mr. Derrick the barn.”
Ma and Shannon exchanged quick smiles, then stared at Allie expectantly. No need to wonder why Ma hadn’t shown him around the property herself. She was matchmaking again, which was more than useless. Derrick was here on business, which was becoming more apparent by the second. There was the possibility that he’d already looked into properties and saw theirs as a good prospect. The thought occurred to Allie that maybe he was using them for his own ends.
Danny waited near the door, and her heart ached for him. He’d been attached to Michael. Looking back she realized Michael had given Danny attention until Michael had won her heart, then he’d backed off. Danny had noticed and kept trying to win Michael’s approval to no avail. She could never allow that to happen again. Danny was vulnerable, and according to his counselor, going through a stage where he was searching for a father figure. Even now he waited impatiently, eager to show Derrick around. How could she protect her nephew? In just a day and a half, Danny had developed a bond. She couldn’t bear to see him hurt again.
Derrick glanced at his watch. “I’ll probably need to leave soon. I have to. . .um, I have another appointment.”
Another appointment? Is that what he considered his visit with them? An appointment?
Allie tried to smile. If she were honest, she’d developed a bit of an attachment to Derrick, too. She chided herself for weakness and pointed toward the door. “Let’s get to it, then.”
As they walked out of the house and toward the barn, the wind mussed his thick black hair, sending wisps across his forehead. Their fingers brushed, and she had the sudden thought that it would be nice to hold his hand. Fortunately, Danny jumped between them and interrupted her insane desire.
“Hey, Spiderman,” she said. “Lead the way.”
Danny bounded ahead of them. Their footsteps were silent as they crossed the yard, and the crickets sang their familiar song. Would she lose all this?
Derrick looked over at her. “So how did you get into the blacksmith business?”
“My dad started it. Learned it from his father. He taught me and Luke.” Her breath caught. “He was my brother—”
“Luke was my dad,” Danny said over his shoulder. “He’s dead. So is my mom. And they’re in heaven. There’s no time there, you know. So while I grow up, they’re happy and waiting to see me again.”
Oh the simplicity of a child’s faith. And of course Danny was listening to every word she and Derrick exchanged. They reached the end of the backyard and began walking the fence line toward the barn.
Derrick motioned at a cottage beyond the barn. “What do you do with that?”
“Nothing at the moment. We rented it out for a while, but it needs a lot of work, and we haven’t had time or money to do it.”
Why was she opening up to this virtual stranger? Perhaps Pastor’s prayer had helped after all, but was Derrick a safe person to open up to? She waved to the right. “We lease out these fields to a local farmer. That brings in some money, but it’s not enough. Not with the amount of debt we have to pay.”
Derrick stopped and looked at her intently. “There’s got to be a way to fix this.”
If not for his serious demeanor, she would’ve been amused. “I assure you, my mom and I have tried everything.”
He seemed to be waiting for further explanation, and Allie hastened to change the topic. She pointed at a small building next to the barn. “That’s our. . .my office. That’s where I take care of the business.” She motioned for him to follow her to the weathered barn. When she opened the door, Danny ran ahead of them and disappeared through a doorway in the back—his hiding place. “Danny’s favorite place is the barn. I hope we can keep it when we sell property.”
“Oh man, this is tough.” Derrick almost spoke the words to himself.
“Yes, well. . .” She inhaled the familiar scent of hay and straw, and tears stung her eyes. Two horses in stalls next to each other stretched their necks over the bottom half of the stall doors, and she rubbed the mottled gray face of the first.
“The horses love you, huh?” Derrick smiled.
“I love them, too.” Allie moved to the second stall where a stocky bay horse snuffled gently against her arm.
“Do you have just these two?” Derrick reached out, stroked the horse, and his fingers trailed over her hand. She didn’t move. The rough feel of his fingers warmed her skin.
“Yes. We had to sell the others.” A lump rose in her throat. The time was coming when she might have to sell these as well and her heart would break.
“They’re both quarter horses. The gray is Storm. This guy is Pip. I named him after Dickens’s character in Great Expectations. My dad used to read that story to me. He bought me Pip when I was fifteen.” She hugged the horse’s neck and buried her face in his mane. “Pip has been like a friend to me,” she said almost to herself. “I used to hang on his neck and cry during the worst of my teenage angst.”
Derrick went to Storm’s stall and patted his neck. “Beautiful animals.”
Beautiful, she thought. Derrick Owens definitely cut a striking figure. “Do you ride?”
“Yes. Not as well as you, of course.” His laughter sent a shiver of delight up her spine. “I can’t forget your wild ride at the parade.”
And she couldn’t forget the feel of being in his strong arms. She found herself smiling despite the prospect of losing the land she so loved.
Derrick sobered and looked her in the eye. “Shannon said your father died of a heart attack.”
“Yes.” Allie stared out the barn door in the direction of the mountains. “Seems he had a ticking time bomb in his chest. We didn’t know until it was too late. He was quite a bit older than my mother, but they adored each other.”
“And your brother and his wife died in a car accident?”
“Yes. A terrible tragedy. Sometimes I relive it over and over again in my dreams. It had already been a bad day. They’d been fighting and. . .shouldn’t have been on the road.” Allie took a deep breath. “Well, anyway, thank God Danny wasn’t with them. Last minute, they asked me to watch him.”
“Yes, indeed,” Derrick murmured and cleared his throat. “We should talk business. I know the thought of selling part of your property is hard. You appear to love it, and it’s part of your family history. I understand that.”
“Yes.” Allie met his dark gaze to see if he was sincere. Those eyes—expressive and sensitive.
Allie switched her gaze to Pip, gave him one last scrat
ch, then walked back to the door. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the Blue Mountains. Lately she’d felt older than twenty-eight. She worked long hours, and when she did take a break, she felt guilty. The responsibilities were always there like clanging alarms waiting to be turned off.
“What are you thinking?”
She hadn’t heard him walk up behind her. He was so close she could turn and fall into his arms. Being held, having someone to lean on, would feel so good. She shivered. Would Derrick stick around long enough for her trust in him to grow?
“I’m thinking that Shannon has a point when she says we all need balance in our lives.” Allie shrugged. “For instance, I love the mountains in the winter. I ski. Cross-country. I pack food and just go all day. Sometimes Shannon goes with me, but she chatters too much.” Allie snickered. “Though I couldn’t ask for a better friend, sometimes I need the solitude. But when I do it, I feel selfish taking time for myself.”
“I don’t get the chance to feel guilty. My dad’s the travel agent for guilt trips.”
Allie laughed. “Is he?”
“Oh yeah.” Derrick’s eyes crinkled with a good-natured smile. “But I understand your need to be alone.” His voice was low, like he was confiding secrets. “When I want to be alone, I hike into the bare hills around the Tri-Cities. I sit and stare out over the Columbia River. I also ski.”
“Shannon and I are going on a spiritual retreat next week. At a monastery. We have to spend part of our time in silence.”
Derrick chuckled. “That will be hard for Shannon.”
“Yes it will,” Allie agreed, then she shuffled her feet on the floor. “I write poetry.”
“Poetry?” Derrick’s raised brows told her he was surprised. “Really?”
The heat of a blush inched up her face. “It’s silly really, but writing poetry helps get my feelings out.”
“Not silly at all.” Derrick clamped his hands behind his back and looked her in the eye.
“Mr. Derrick!” Danny yelled from the back of the barn. “Come and see my hiding place.”
A Hero for Her Heart (Truly Yours Digital Editions Book 885) Page 6