Punked by the Pumpkin: A Cozy Mystery (Sweet Home Mystery Series Book 4)

by Constance Barker

  “Well, I need you to do more than try, or our business is going to fall apart. So, pull them up and walk them over to the customers if you have to, okay?”

  Toe looked a little worried.

  “Don’t worry. They’re not going to kill you.”

  “I’ll do it for you, Lily. But if their claws come out, I can’t make any promises after that.”

  Great. They were turning into cats. “Fair enough.”

  “And I have a repair job at 2:00 at the Hewson’s. A door, I think.”

  “Take Harvey with you. Sounds like you might need a hand.” Maybe if Harvey is gone, the aunts will snap out of their trance.

  It was great to be out with my best friend. It seemed like Jules and I had less time together now that she was right next-door than we did when she worked at the dentist’s office. We loaded up on all of the things we needed and some things we didn’t need, did a little shoe shopping at the Outlet Mall, and even had a light lunch at a sidewalk café in Sabina. Jules’ peaceful confidence had a way of soothing my frazzled nerves.

  The place was hopping when we got back. It was nearly 4:00, so Trevor was already working with Moira behind the counter, training for tomorrow. Moira didn’t have to start at Jules’ shop until 5:00. Essie and Hildie waited on tables and laughed and chatted with the customers. This was way too normal, but I loved it. Still, I knew that things could change at any minute.

  Most of the tables were full, and so was the counter. Jules and I carried the bags to the backroom and put away the refrigerated items. Then we went to help out front.

  “Good afternoon, ladies. You’re looking good, as usual.”

  The “surfer dude” voice was oddly familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It came from a twenty-something guy sitting at the counter sipping on a cup of tea. He had long blond hair and was wearing a buttonless suede vest over a white T-shirt with some small gold chains around his neck and an ear bud in one ear.

  Jules and I looked at each other with puzzled expressions and then back to the young man at the counter, who now flashed a big toothy smile. I turned to Jules again, but this time the light bulb went on for both of us, and we broke into smiles too.

  “Schooner?!” We both blurted at once. I walked behind the counter to greet him and Jules went around the other side.

  “What on earth brings you here?”

  It was actually good to see him, although we had only met him one time before. He was our bartender at Hog Heaven in Sabina. We talked about him once in a while because he was such a character.

  “Well, I was in town, so I thought I’d say hello. The cop who called me to come and identify my stolen mp3 player said that the lady at the coffee shop was the one who solved the robberies. I remembered you said something about having a coffee shop when you were there, so I dropped in.”

  “So,” Jules asked, “are you just passing through on your way to Orlando or something?”

  Not many people come to Sweet Home on purpose.

  “Naw. I’m getting things set up for the street dance. My group is playing here for the Harvest Festival the next three nights.”

  “Really? You’re in a band?” Which one?” I hit the area clubs often enough to know some of the bands around here, and Jules probably knew all of them.

  “I play with Scorched Wings.”

  “Scorched Wings!” Jules was quite excited. “Do you sing Soul on Fire?”

  “Naw. I’m the drummer. But I do a little singing sometimes.”

  “Wow. Well, we’ll be dancing in the street with you as much as we can, when we’re not busy working anyway.” I filled up his cup and gave him another teabag. “It looks like you got your mp3 player back. That’s good.”

  Schooner always had one ear bud in with music playing. “Ya, it’s an old piece of junk, but it has all my tunes on it. I was really lost without my music when that guy nabbed it.”

  Schooner took a sip of his tea. “So, you guys don’t have lattes and cappuccinos here?”

  Jules and I kind of rolled our eyes at each other. “Well, we tried that for a while, but the beastly little machine was a hard one to tame. Nothing but problems, and then we sent the salesman-slash-repair guy off to jail, so…”

  “Oh, I guess it was the same guy we got ours from then, and our ice machine too. That’s funny, because our espresso machine works great, but nobody orders them there at the bar. Don’t people ask for those fancy coffee drinks here at your coffee shop?”

  “All the time. But steaming the milk and all that stuff took a lot of time, and one part or another was always breaking down, so we packed it up and sent it back.”

  “Ah. I guess you didn’t have the automatic one, then. Ours just has three buttons – one for plain espressos, one for lattes, and one for cappuccinos. All the magic happens inside. Just put the cup there, push the button, and walk away. If you want chocolate or caramel or something, just put it in the cup first.”

  “Yeah, I saw that in his catalogue, but it’s about twenty-four hundred bucks.”

  “The boss told me to try to sell ours for $800 if I can. It’s hardly been used at all and works great.”

  “Sold!” Jules chimed in.

  I gave her a look. I mean, it’s my coffee shop, and $800 is still a lot of money.

  “Just pay me back a dollar for every cup you sell. You’ll have it covered in a month or two, Lily.” Jules had made up her mind, so what could I do?

  “I’ll bring it by tomorrow. Try it for a few days and see if you like it.”

  Yeah, I can live with that.

  Chapter Five

  The Indian summer couldn’t have been more perfect. Occasional gentle overnight rains led into cool mornings and sunny afternoons of 78 degrees with a refreshing, mild breeze. Bikes, skateboards, and inline skates from Carmen and Al’s rental shop across the street made Sunshine Avenue look like Central Park. Iced coffees and cool fruit drinks were selling like hotcakes too as the crowd slowly grew throughout the afternoon in anticipation of the big parade.

  “Trevor, help me get all of the stools outside for Gladys’s and Mildred’s families. Moira, can you make some Reserved signs for them please? And, Toe, how is that espresso machine coming along?”

  “Just about done hooking up this big water cooler jug to it. That should be better than plumbing it in. …There you go. All set.”

  “I can take it from here!” Jules seemed excited to get it running. She plugged it in, flipped the switch on, and it was ready to go. She poured a pound of coffee beans into one compartment on the top; then she made sure the compartment for the milk was getting cool and poured a few ounces in for a test run.

  She put a cup under the spout, pushed “Latte,” and took a step back. “Bombs away!”

  After half a minute of grinding and whirring, I walked behind the counter just in time to see a perfect latte.

  “It can’t be that easy. Who’s going to taste it?”

  Moira swooped up the cup and handed it to her mother. Carmen blew on the coffee and sucked in some of the hot potion with a bit of air to keep from scalding her lips. A half-dozen pairs of eyeballs all around her ogled her every move in eager anticipation of her reaction.

  “You all look like those monkeys in that 2001 movie gathered around that big flat rock.” Toe had a point, but we didn’t have to wait long for her verdict.

  “Perfect.”

  There was a lot of activity out in the street as dozens of golf carts, all decked out in their harvest and Halloween “costumes” were getting lined up for the parade, along with the high school band and floats from local businesses. And, of course, the ladder truck from the volunteer fire department would be tossing out candy for the kids…but if they started throwing Kit Kats, I might mow over a kid to get them.

  Carmen had a concerned look on her face. She and Toe and Jules were all leaning on the counter, since all of the stools were outside for the parade and the tables were filled with paying customers. I followed her line of sight to her daughter
, Moira, who was whispering back and forth with Trevor. Both seemed to be more big-eyed, straight-faced, and quiet than usual.

  “Moira…Tev.” I waved them over and stood next to Carmen. “What’s up with you guys today? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  They looked at each other and then back at us without saying a word.

  “You didn’t get bitten by one of the 60-year-old zombies, did you?”

  They shook their heads, not seeing the humor in my remark. “You were closer the first time,” Moira said softly.

  I was rewinding the conversation in my mind to figure out what I’d said the first time.

  “They saw a ghost.” Toe leaned in with a little interest. “When you were out at the cemetery last night?”

  Moira and Trevor looked at Carmen with the fear of God in their eyes.

  Carmen cocked her head and looked at her daughter for an explanation.

  “Uh…uh…”

  Words escaped Moira, so Trevor stepped up.

  “Mrs. Baumgardner, Moira was in here when I got done with my training last night, and I had told her about some of the things going on at the cemetery. And, well, I was going to walk by the old chapel there to see if I could hear that ghost baby crying again or see any lights inside, and she wanted to come with me. And then, you know, I could tell Officer Davis if there were any high school kids out there messing up the gravestones or anything too, cuz, you know, I’m kind of a deputy.”

  Carmen was a little dumbfounded by all of the spooky occurrences, but she had something else on her mind.

  “You mean you were at the cemetery where all the high school kids go to kiss and smoke and drink beer?”

  “NoooOOo, Mom!” Moira had regained some of her ability to speak.

  “I don’t think they was going there for that.” Toe looked at me. “And I seen Trevor walk Moira back to the rental shop maybe 45 minutes later. That’s just about enough time to walk there and back.”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t like that. We didn’t…well.” Trevor looked at Moira and her eyes got really big. Then he looked at the floor.

  Uh oh…

  “Well, uh… I held her hand.”

  Whew. That’s okay, Trev.

  “You know, she doesn’t like me like that anyway.”

  Oh, yes she does, Trevor.

  “We were both kind of scared. It was dark and creepy, and it looked like there was a light coming from the old church, but before we got there…”

  “That’s when we saw it.” Moira took over the story. “We heard a noise deep in the cemetery, like somebody running through the underbrush and bumping into trees and headstones. We thought it was a drunk person. But when we looked over there, we saw a big orange jack-o-lantern flying low over the ground right into a tree, and then it went dark. Then, right where the jack-o-lantern stopped, we saw a green monster without a head running the other way.”

  Carmen was more than a little skeptical. “Do you expect me to believe a ridiculous story like that, Moira?”

  I had to help. “Eli and I saw something a lot like that the other day ourselves, Carmen. Eli’s investigating it. But there is something or someone out there.”

  Toe looked very serious and rubbed his chin. “It could only be one thing…”

  We turned to await Toe’s ultimate wisdom and enlightening revelation.

  “…the chupacabra.”

  Well, maybe not all that wise and enlightening. “Let’s not get carried away, Toe…”

  “You just wait. Before long there’ll be reports of goats and other animals with all the blood sucked right out of them. They come from just down there in Puerto Rico, ya know, so they probably sneak onto those cruise ships and get off in Miami. A few days later they’re here in Sweet Home.”

  Toe looked enough like the crypt keeper from that old horror show series, so a few chills did run up my spine…until his mind turned to his tummy.

  “Can I get one of them pumpkin muffins from ya, Lily? That frosting looks pretty good.”

  The parade was moments away from starting. Mayor Rodney Danton was the Grand Marshall of the parade in the red convertible in the front. He came up with the idea for the Harvest Festival twelve years ago when he was on the school board and rode that success all the way to the mayor’s office a few years later.

  Rodney was followed by the Harvest Queen, Becky Sinclair, in the blue convertible. She was a year or two out of high school and a waitress at Sal’s Diner on the main drag, so everybody knew her. She was already smiling and waving at the crowd. Everybody loved the sweet, pretty girl with the great personality and boundless energy. She was also developing a reputation as a good baker, and she’d already made the cakes for quite a few weddings. When Essie and Hildie don’t have time to bake, they will only call Becky.

  Of course, leading the parade of golf carts was Martha White. Her orange, professionally built pumpkin cart was a replica of Cinderella’s carriage – and the perfect cart to head up the Harvest Festival parade. Martha wore the Cinderella gown she still had from her years at Disney.

  After her, the other carts were ready to follow, two by two. Jerry Thatcher was right behind her in his rubber chicken, alongside Harvey in his famous shark fin cart, followed by a long line of others.

  The big civil defense megaphone truck pulled into the middle of the golf cart line to provide some music and started blasting out John Phillip Sousa marches. As soon as the signal was given to start the parade, Harvey decided to start his mischievous behavior, driving in circles around Martha’s pumpkin and then doing figure eights around the two convertibles up front. Of course, the others (well, the men, anyway) followed suit.

  Then Harvey pulled his cart close to the crowd and started calling people over, right in front of the Coffee Cabana. People were pulling out their wallets and digging through their purses. It looked like he was selling something. So were many of the other seniors.

  I was behind the counter filling orders, so I couldn’t really see what he was selling. I looked into the dining room to ask Essie or Hildie what Harvey was doing out there.

  What in the world?

  They were selling tickets too!

  “Essie! What are you doing selling raffle tickets? You should be selling coffee!”

  She walked up to the counter with her tray. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Lily. These aren’t raffle tickets…and I need three regulars and one decaf.”

  I gave her the coffee and asked, “So, what are you selling then?”

  “These are tickets to the Methodist Church Harvest Dinner on Friday night.”

  “Tomorrow? Harvest Dinner? Where is it at?”

  “Of course, it’s tomorrow during the festival. Kind of an impromptu thing we decided on just the other night at bingo. We were just going to have a dinner for the bingo players, but I said we should raise some money for the Church since all these people are in town for the festival.”

  “Where, where, where?”

  “Why, in the church basement, of course.”

  Bingo! “Give me two…three…no, four.” Me, Eli, Jules, and a plus-one for her. I might not be able to get in during Bingo on a Tuesday night, but I could do plenty of snooping around at the Harvest Dinner. And I fully intended to.

  The evening ran quite smoothly. Hildie helped Jules and Moira outside, Gladys and Mildred worked the tables inside, Trevor and I filled all the orders behind the counter, and Essie bounced between the dining room and the counter. The girls must have baked all night, and Essie kept bringing out tray after tray of muffins – and the pumpkin smoothies were really popular too.

  The high school marching band came after the endless line of golf carts, followed by the long-awaited fire truck and a handful of floats from local companies and organizations. The finale was the Church choir in their black robes led by a very enthusiastic Pastor Miranda Cassidy.

  As soon as the choir had passed by, the park crew hauled out the pre-assembled pieces of the stage for the big street dance. To
o bad I don’t have a license to sell margaritas and beer. I’d make a fortune. But the city council had a corner on the beer and booze concessions.

  I kept the lights on and the doors open to pick up a little coffee business from the big crowd. Surely a few people would want a cold non-alcoholic drink or some caffeine to keep them alert after a beer or two.

  When things settled down to a mild roar, Trevor and Moira took over the reins inside and the aunts went home to get some much-deserved rest. Toe and Carmen were sitting outside on the stools, and Jules and I joined them. It was a really pleasant night, and the tiniest sliver of a moon was just rising over the stage. A shaggy blond-haired guy carrying a drum waved at us from near the stage in the distance, and we waved back. We would have to tell Schooner that his espresso machine was working really well for us.

  “Is Eli going to stop by?” Jules sat next to Carmen, and I sat on the end closest to the door.

  “Not tonight. He’s on duty all night.”

  “Well, let’s start a riot so we can call the police.”

  I may have actually considered it for a moment. “Toe, where’s Harvey? I never see him around in the evening anymore. The parade’s been over for quite a while now.”

  “Ya, I thought he might stop in here too, but I don’t know. He hasn’t been out after dark lately.”

  Carmen reached across Jules and handed me a small candy bar and gave Jules one too. I was going to turn it down, but, drat…it was a Kit Kat.

  “How did you know, Carmen? These are my kryptonite.”

  “They’re everybody’s weakness, Lily.”

  “Not mine.” Toe pulled a little canister of tobacco from his pants pocket and opened it, putting a pinch in his cheek. “Snuff, anyone?”

  We girls tried not to gag, and Toe saw the question in my eyes.

  “Don’t worry, Lily.” He held up his empty disposable coffee cup. “I got a spittoon right here.”

  Lovely.

  Carmen leaned away from Toe and towards Jules just a little. “Well, I guess they’re every girl’s weakness. I always try to keep a small bag of them in my purse, and this just seemed like the right moment for a small guilty pleasure.”