“I can’t wait; I need you right now.” Suddenly, he pulled me close and kissed me violently.
He shoved his hands into my panties and began a rough massage of my clit. Instantly, I became weak in the knees, thrusting my private part toward his rewarding fingers. I was not only horny, I was high as hell. After he kissed me, Lamel swung my body over to where the mirror was. I was now facing it, and I placed both of my hands flat on it as he pulled his pants down, pulled my thong to the side, and rubbed his erect penis up and down my soaked slit.
I moaned, and that’s when he pushed the head in, but only the head. I was on fire, pushing my ass on him, trying to get him inside of me. Quickly, I began to twerk on him again, and without warning, he plowed his erect penis inside of me. I inhaled deeply because the feeling was like no other. It felt like he ripped my insides apart from the force—but I liked it, and I screamed out loud like a crazed maniac.
“Sasha, lift yo’ head up and look in the mirror,” he said as he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled it back so that I could look at him in the mirror as he pounded me from the back. The sight of us in that mirror with him ramming into me turned me on even more. I looked at him through the mirror as I slowly swirled my tongue around my lips, bouncing my ass on him the entire time. “Damn, your facial expressions are turning me on,” he growled.
I bit my bottom lip and moaned with every hard stroke he delivered as my sweaty palms were pressed against the mirror. We were in some kind of weird, erotic, sexual zone. My heart was racing, pounding; I was screaming like crazy. I was on the verge of an epic explosion, and I could hear him getting close as well—Then there was a knock at the door. I tried to hold my screams in. I didn’t want to stop, but whoever was at the door was pounding harder and harder and shouting, “Open the door! This is a multistall restroom. This door shouldn’t be locked.”
It seemed as if the chaos was turning him on even more because, with every pound on the door, Lamel banged harder inside of me. My middle was gushing wet; I was ready to burst. But I was sweating uncontrollably, and my mouth was suddenly really dry. I tried to tell Lamel to stop so that I could catch my breath, so that I could breathe, but I couldn’t get my words out as I tried to balance myself on the mirror. It felt as if I were on a roller-coaster ride and was losing control of my balance and my vision at the same time. Then, all of a sudden, everything went black.
When I woke up, I was in a hotel bed, confused about what had happened the night before. My head throbbed, and my insides ached. It felt like someone had shoved a pole between my legs.
I knew I hadn’t been raped. Or had I? I looked over at Lamel. He was still asleep. I then focused on the neon-colored numbers on the digital clock that was on the nightstand next to me. It was after one o’clock. I wanted to lie back down from the pain in my head, but I needed answers.
“Lamel, wake up,” I shouted.
“What’s wrong?” He jumped up and wiped the sleep from his eyes.
“What happened to me last night?” I looked deep into his eyes.
He squinted and said, “You’re waking me up out of my sleep to ask me that dumb-ass question?” I was alarmed because he never cursed at me before.
“Yes. I need to know, and I need to know now!” I spat with anger. “All I remember is going to a sex party that was packed with over five hundred people, all the rooms, and smoking a lot of weed. Now, I’m in this hotel room, and I don’t remember getting here,” I blurted out.
“Yeah, we were both fucked up. You passed out when I was hitting that thang from the back,” he said and slapped me on the ass. Then, he continued. “After that, I picked you up, drove us to the nearest hotel, and here we are. Oh, and that shit you were smoking wasn’t just weed. We were coco-puffing,” he said and lay back down.
My heart stopped. “What the fuck did you just say?” He was silent. “Did you just say that I was smoking weed laced with crack cocaine?”
“Yes, we were.” His words were short.
“You bastard! Why would you do that? Why would you give me that shit to smoke?”
“What are you talking about? You’re a grown-ass woman. I thought you knew what you were getting yourself into,” he said, not looking at me. His head was turned as he lay on his pillow. “You know I don’t do drugs.” My blood was boiling. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe that I was smoking crack and fucking at a party. And I didn’t know what else went down because I couldn’t remember. I didn’t know who Lamel was anymore, and I was ready to choke the life out of him. He seemed to not even care that I was so distraught. He actually thought it was cool to give me that shit without telling me what was in it. I shoved him on his back with all of my might and said, “Get the fuck up and take me home—now!”
41
Melody
“Melody, I’m so sorry to hear about Rodney.” Asia held me in her arms, trying to comfort me as we sat on the sofa in my living room. The shirt she was wearing was wet from my tears. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop crying. It was the middle of the morning when I called Asia; I didn’t think she would answer. But she did, and she rushed right over to be by my side. I was a mess, and I still couldn’t fathom what was going on.
“I had just talked to Rodney the other day, and he was walking around and doing fine,” I cried as I wiped my nose with the tissue she gave me.
“I know you told me that he was recovering. So what went wrong?”
“His sister called me and told me that he’d caught pneumonia. That was what caused his death.”
“Wow, that’s horrible.”
“I told him to stop walking around, and look at what happened; he got fluid in his lungs. He was just so hardheaded; now he’s gone. I have no one to help me raise my baby,” I cried some more. My body shook, and I was beginning to feel hot.
“Baby? You’re pregnant?” Asia looked at me with wide eyes.
I nodded my head.
“Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry.” She hugged me tighter.
I felt like disappearing; I wanted the nightmare to go away. Why did this have to happen to me? Why was my life so fucked up? I hated the way that I felt. It seemed as if I would never get over the feelings that I was experiencing at that moment. “This is all my fault,” I whined.
“Why would you say something like that?” Asia wanted to know. She looked deep into my eyes as if she was looking for an answer there.
“I was so angry with him after I heard he’d left the club with some chick the other night. When I called his phone to confront him, a woman answered.” I shook my head, not wanting to revisit that painful moment. “After I hung up the phone, I contemplated killing him.”
“What!”
I paused at the shock in Asia’s voice; then I continued. “I loved him with all my heart, and I was so upset that I wanted to kill him. I thought about so many different ways to make him suffer. Now look. Now, he’s really dead. Oh my God! I really didn’t want him to die.” I cried until my voice went hoarse.
“Mel, you need to calm down. You are going to upset the baby. It was not your fault. Rodney was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I need you to breathe. Do you hear me?”
I didn’t answer her; I just stared into space. “Rodney can’t be dead!” I was hysterical, desperate for his death to not be real. “Take me to the hospital; I want to talk to him. I want to see him!” I got up to find my shoes.
“Mel, Rodney’s gone. He’s in a better place.” Asia took my hands and held them tightly in front of me. I guess she thought that would stop me from trying to go to the hospital.
“Are you going to take me, or do I need to drive?”
“You are not going anywhere. How about I lie down with you, and in the morning, we can call his sister and see if there is something you can do for them to help with anything?” Her voice was calm.
“Who’s gonna help me? I just lost the love of my life. I would bend over backward for that man. Who gonna see me through this sorrow in my lif
e?” I shouted.
“I’m here for you. Don’t you see that? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Oh my God! Rodney’s dead; Rodney is really gone.” I sobbed with my head in Asia’s lap until I fell asleep.
* * *
I was on my way to the beauty shop; the last few days had been a living hell. I was trying my best to stay strong for Rayn and the baby inside of me. Today was the day I would see Rodney for the last time. His homegoing was at noon. I called my beautician to get me in on Friday, but she was booked. She told me that she could squeeze me in at nine on Saturday, the morning of the funeral. I hoped that she would work her magic because I still had to go home and get dressed. I laid my black, short sleeved, knee-length dress out on my bed so I could just slip it on and head to the church after my hair appointment.
When I walked into the shop, I sighed deeply. It was packed. But I couldn’t tell who all was waiting on my beautician because there were other women doing hair in the shop. I waved at her to let her know I was there, and she told me that she would be right with me. I sat in the lobby and waited. I was happy to hear her voice within twenty minutes of me waiting. “Hey, Mel,” she said and gave me a hug. “I’m so sorry about your loss. You’re in my prayers.”
“Thanks,” was all I said because I knew that if I would’ve said more, the tears would’ve overcome me.
“Come on back to my seat so I can put your relaxer in.”
She relaxed my hair and tried to have small talk, but I really wasn’t in the mood. I just wanted the day to be over with. There were a few other women in the shop talking about how sad it was that Rodney got shot in the club and how the police still hadn’t found who shot him. I didn’t say a word; I just ear hustled. I was so weak. I couldn’t remember when the last time I had eaten. I rubbed my stomach, feeling sorry for my baby because I knew I was not taking care of my body like I should’ve been. To tell the truth, I really didn’t care. I didn’t want to be in my life at this point. But I knew I had to keep going for Rayn.
Time was ticking, and it was getting closer and closer to the time when the funeral would start. I was under the dryer. It had taken her a little longer than I thought to relax my hair. She had to keep stopping because there were children in her shop that were acting up. I wished that parents wouldn’t just drop their damn kids off. If I were a beautician, I would make their parents stay and wait while they were getting serviced. She was not a babysitter, and the kids were interfering with her other clients. I needed to get out of there, and I was becoming very irritated.
I was pissed; I didn’t get out of the shop until eleven forty-five. I sped to my house to get dressed, and then sped straight to the church. I knew I was going to be late, but I wasn’t going to miss it for anything. When I got there, I wanted to look at him one last time and touch his hand and tell him that I loved him. The church was packed. I had to sit in the back. I began to weep uncontrollably when I saw that they had just closed the casket. Why the hell did they do that? They were not supposed to close the casket until the end of the funeral. I couldn’t tell him I loved him. I couldn’t even say good-bye. I wouldn’t be able to see my baby’s father ever again.
All the way to the cemetery, I cried my eyes out. I tried to control my tears because I didn’t want to get into an accident due to my blurry vision. As I watched them lower him into the ground, my head spun, my knees went weak, and I fell to the ground. People I didn’t even know rushed to my rescue. I felt so bad because I didn’t want to take away from his service. I tried my best to keep it together, but I just couldn’t.
An older lady with an oversized, fashionable hat came to me and gave me a bottle of water. “Here, drink this. You feel kinda warm. You might have a temp, sweetie.” Her voice was sweet. I could tell she was concerned. When two men lifted me up from the ground, that same lady with the oversized hat gasped and said, “Oh, Lawd, you’re pregnant! You need to see a doctor. I’m pretty sure you may have a temp, child.”
“I’ll be fine,” I reassured her. But I knew what I said wasn’t true. I wasn’t fine, and I didn’t think I would ever be fine. Tasha walked over to me, took my hand, and we walked away from the crowd. “Girl, I didn’t know you were pregnant. Is it Rodney’s?”
“Yes,” I said with my head low. It was crazy that no one knew I was carrying his baby, but it was all my fault because I was the one who kept it a secret.
“Rodney and I were . . . Well, I was upset with him because I kept on hearing that he was cheating on me. So, I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until he was in the hospital. I tried to keep my distance from him because I was angry at the way he was always lying to me,” I said, trying to explain the sad situation I was in.
“Girl, I told you that he was a ladies’ man, and he loved you, but he wasn’t ready to settle down.”
Her words brought tears to my eyes. Even though she had told me that in the past, it still made my heart skip a beat.
“I’m hurting so bad because my baby will never get to meet its father.” I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. My emotions were a wreck, and I knew it had to be my hormones also. Then I heard a voice, and I uncovered my face to see Rodney’s mother standing right in front of me. I knew it was her because of a picture that I had seen on the wall at Rodney’s house. “Are you going to be okay, child?” she asked in an irritated voice.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry; I will be okay,” I said as I cleared the snot from my nose.
“Ma, this is Melody, Rodney’s girlfriend . . . She’s pregnant,” Tasha confessed.
I was mute as I looked at her eyes widen. “Pregnant? How come I didn’t know about this before now?” She placed her hands on her hips.
I introduced myself to her, and I told her the same thing that I had just told Tasha, but Ms. Roberts wasn’t having it. “Why haven’t I even met you before?”
“A few years back, Rodney took me to meet you, but when we got there, you were asleep. And there were no other times that he made it possible for us to meet,” I explained.
“But you said y’all been off and on for over three years. So I guess y’all were on, since you are pregnant.” She shook her head and didn’t give me a chance to respond. She then said, “I love my son, and I knew he was a man that didn’t want to be with just one woman. But this situation right here,” she said, pointing to my stomach, “we’re gonna have to get a blood test. He already has too many kids out here to count on one hand. I know that I will have to care for them now since he’s . . . gone,” Ms. Roberts said bluntly. My heart fell to my stomach. A lady called Ms. Roberts’s name, and before she turned and walked away, she huffed and said, “We’ll talk later, child.” I just watched as she walked away.
“Melody, don’t mind my mother. She can be a little feisty and rude at times. But if you need anything, just let me know. Take care of yourself for the baby’s sake.” Tasha gave me a hug.
“Thanks,” I said as we departed. Then I walked alone to my car.
42
Asia
When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t get a chance to ask Steve what the hell he was doing that he didn’t make it home until three in the morning. He was already gone to work when I opened my eyes. I slept in because I was tired from the long night I had with Melody and trying to comfort her in her time of mourning. I was shocked that she’d been hiding her pregnancy. I was going to have to call her after I got done working.
It would’ve probably been a good idea to take her out for dinner so she could’ve gotten out of the house to relieve some stress. I knew how much she loved that man, and for him to die in such a tragiclike way, I knew she was devastated. I just hoped she would be able to get over his passing in a timely matter for her daughter’s sake. And she really didn’t need to be stressed while she was pregnant.
I got in my car to go and show a home to a new client. As I got comfortable in my seat, I looked down on the front passenger’s seat and noticed a man’s belt buckle that evidently
fell off of a belt. Steve had my car out late last night, but I hadn’t ever seen that belt buckle before. I didn’t notice it when I went by Melody’s house. I picked it up and put it in my purse; I was going to ask Steve about it when I got home.
I had gotten a call yesterday from a lady that was very excited to see this spacious, two-story, four-bedroom, two-bath, Colonial-style home. It was a newly remodeled home on the east side of town, sitting on five acres of land. The listing price was $90,000. I told her I would meet her there at noon. I forgot to set my alarm clock, but I didn’t think I was going to sleep past ten. I was beat. I made it to the house at eleven fifty; I was glad to see that she hadn’t arrived yet. I could get my pitch together and look over the house to see what it had to offer so that I could explain it better to my client. I did a quick walk-through of the home.
“Okay, it has a beautiful coffered ceiling in the dining area, dark wood flooring throughout the house, and large windows,” I said to myself.
After that, I walked into the kitchen and saw the dual wall oven, the light granite counters, and the large island. I checked out the bedrooms on the second floor. The tray ceiling in the master was gorgeous, and the large, outdoor, screened-in deck was to die for. I hoped that the client would fall in love with it. But I knew how to work my magic, so after I finished hyping the place up, she would want to close on the house immediately.
After about twenty minutes passed, I heard a car pulling up on the gravel in front of the house. I walked to the front door, and that’s when I was stunned into silence. Lance was standing on the porch, holding a knife in his right hand. I was so shocked that I didn’t move. My feet were stuck where I stood. He grabbed my arm and yanked it so hard that it felt like he jerked it out of its socket. He dragged me by my arm through the dining area to the kitchen. He then threw my body against the kitchen wall like I was a rag doll, and my head thumped hard against it.
“Ouch!” I said as I grabbed my aching head.
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