Wait, what? Her mom?
“You never got her last name, did you?” Kayden asks, covering his mouth with his hand to try and hide a laugh. The one that still breaks through and makes the urge to hit him even worse.
“It didn’t seem important. You wanna clue me in?”
“Taylor. Cadence Taylor. Dumbass.”
She’s Ms. Taylor’s daughter. Shit. This situation was already a shit ton to handle with finding out she can’t hear, but knowing she’s the daughter of the Special Ed teacher whose class I’m stuck in, well shit. This is bad.
“Damnit.”
“That’s not the word I’d use, but yep. Damnit.”
Focusing back on the reason Isabelle’s standing with us and less on who Cadence really is, I start to think about the way everything went down before I walked away. Amy had been pissed at me and Cadence for what she thought was something going on between us, or at the very least Cadence having a thing for me. What are the odds she took it a step further when I left and went looking for her?
Very fucking likely.
“Uh, I don’t think she’s with her mom.” I say, hoping that I’m wrong with what I’m thinking even though my gut is telling me a different story.
“What do you mean? What do you know?” Isabelle turns so fast, moving her body until she’s standing directly in front of me, her eyes locked on mine and looking less than thrilled. “What did you do, Dillon?”
“I didn’t do shit, alright! Stop looking at me like that. I invited her to lunch earlier. I thought if the others got to know her, that what happened Monday would be the end of it.”
“Shit.” I hear Kayden whisper and it just makes the horrible feeling in my stomach that much worse. He spent the last four years hanging with all of us. He knows Amy better than anyone. Hell, he dated her before I did. No doubt he’s thinking the same thing I am.
“Isabelle, go up and check with Ms. T; see if she’s there. We’re gonna go find Amy and the others.”
“You think Amy got her, don’t you?” she asks, the cracking of her voice not lost on me. Isabelle has been on the receiving end of Amy and her anger before and I’m pretty damn sure she’s not itching to repeat it.
“Looks that way, but don’t worry. Dillon got her into this mess, he’s gonna get her out of it or I’m gonna be the least of his worries.”
As he kisses her on the forehead, I turn away, not wanting to witness any form of display between the two of them, but not because there’s something wrong with it. It’s because of the closeness. Amy and I have a good time together, but it’s never anything like what these two have.
Isabelle takes off the down the hall and Kayden turns to me, his face displaying clearly what he thinks about the whole situation and for once, if he wanted to pound the shit out of me, I’d let him. He’s right. I did bring this on. I only hope that when we do find her, we aren’t too late.
If we are, Amy is gonna pay.
Chapter Nine
Cadence
I don’t think I’ve stopped shaking since I got here.
The minute my mom caught sight of me, my clothes crumpled and my hair matted not only with sweat but with tinges of blood where the one girl had ripped parts out, she didn’t even ask what happened. She ushered me into the class, shutting the door behind her and locking it.
There’s gotta be five minutes tops before her students come streaming in for the afternoon lesson and she couldn’t care less. She’s that caught up getting me to tell her what happened.
“Do you want to tell me how this happened?”
“You know.”
I watch as her eyes shine in recognition but am not at all ready for what she says next.
“Was it the girls that did this to you or the entire group?”
I know what she’s asking. She wants to know if Dillon had anything to do with this. She doesn’t come right out and say his name, but asking about the whole group might as well be the same thing. Just like it did this morning, it always came back to Dillon. For whatever reason, she seems to think he’s the root of all evil and until a few minutes ago, I might have agreed with her.
“Girls.”
“Well, no doubt that boy is the reason behind it.”
Something comes over me seeing how easily she jumps to conclusions and I start signing fast, not stopping until it’s all out.
You didn’t listen to what I said, Mom. Dillon had nothing to do with this and blaming him for something he wasn’t even there for is wrong. I understand why you don’t trust him but I don’t get why you hate him so much. You always taught me not to judge people, but you seem to have no problem with it.
I’ve never talked back to her like this. There’s just never been a reason to because normally she’s so understanding, with her job and also in dealing with me that I’ve never had to go that far. I can’t let her do this though. As much as Dillon is a part of it because of who took me into the bathroom, he isn’t the one that did it.
“I’m sorry, Caddy.”
I can’t say I expected that to be her response. She’s never been an angry person, but when you’re sitting there and your kid is going off on you, even if she’s signing it and not saying it out loud, I can’t see it making any parent very happy.
“What did they do to you? Did they burn you?”
I shake my head, answering the burning question easily. I wouldn’t have let it get that far. Even if they ripped all my hair out, I would have fought them. As for telling her what they did do to me, well that wasn’t as easy. It’s not that I can’t find the words, it’s just the minute she hears this, she’s gonna go into full mom mode. She will do whatever’s needed to protect me and in the end, despite me going off at her about it, Dillon will be the one paying for it.
Amy is his girlfriend. I know that. I know the reason this happened at all is because she thinks there’s something going on that isn’t. Despite my argument, he is the cause of this and there’s a part of me that thinks he should pay, but it’s only a small part.
He probably has no idea this even happened.
Beginning to sign out my answer, I slowly let it all come out and watch as her eyes go from locked on me and my hands to down into her lap. This is another reason I didn’t want to tell her. The way she’s reacting, I know she’s hurting for me, for the daughter that is getting bullied because of her decision to bring me here. The daughter that’s going through this because she’s different.
I hate doing this to her.
“I’m going to take this to Principal Daniels. He needs to be made aware that these girls are up to their old tricks. It should have been dealt with when it happened to Isabelle, but since it obviously wasn’t, I’m going to make sure it is now.”
“Mom,” I say and as she looks back up at me, ready to hear what I’ve got to say, I take my chance. “Don’t blame Dillon.”
“Is there something going on between you and this boy, Caddy? I’m aware that the two of you have been speaking, it’s hard not to notice the way the notes keep passing back and forth when I’m trying to teach, but how far has it gone?”
She’s definitely not in teacher mode now. As different as I’m treated because of my disability, in this way, I’m just like every other girl on the planet. The only difference between my mom and other moms is she’s doubly invested in my answer. Not only does she want to know because she doesn’t like Dillon, she also wants to know because she doesn’t trust anyone with her baby.
I just hope that when I tell her that nothing is going on, more than what she’s already seen, that she believes me and doesn’t just assume I’m like every other teenager and lying to her. Hopefully she knows by now that I wouldn’t do that, disability or not.
Again I sign out my response, not trusting my voice to say the words out loud even though they should come easily.
There is nothing going on, Mom. We just talk because we’re bored when we’re here.
“Are you sure that’s all it is?”
I nod and she leans back in her seat, accepting my answer which whether she’s aware of it or not, takes another load of my shoulders.
“How were they able to get to you? I thought you’ve been with Eric and the others at lunch?”
Dillon asked me to meet his friends.
“Oh Cadence,” she says and with the way her chest moves I can see that she’s sighing. “What did I tell you about that boy?”
Her eyes move to the door and as I turn to see what it is she’s looking at, she stands and makes her way over to it. Looking down at the watch on my wrist, I notice the time and I’m pretty sure what she’s going to find on the other side. Her students are going to be there, wanting to get in and whatever conversation we’re having is going to have to wait until we get home.
As hard as it’s been telling her this, it’s only going to be worse doing it again when we’re at home. I just want to get out of here and forget any of it ever happened. There’s no way I can stay here while she teaches for the next three hours. Sitting in my virtual world of silence while surrounded by a bunch of teenagers, special needs or not isn’t going to do anything to help what I’ve been through. Seeing their looks of sadness, understanding and pity just might make it worse.
That’s what I’m telling myself instead of just admitting to the real reason I want to get out of here so bad. I’m not worried about the other kids at all. I’m worried about one guy in particular and spending an afternoon being ignored or ignoring him is definitely not something I’m in the mood for. The last person I want to see right now is Dillon Murphy.
As I watch my mom move away from the door, expecting to see her students come flooding in, my eyes sensitive to one body in particular, I see that it’s not the entire class after all, but one. The very person I’d been attempting to go see when Amy and her friends cut me off in the hall.
Isabelle is here and as her eyes look over to me, there’s recognition in them.
She knows everything.
Dillon
We’ve been to every bathroom on the first and second floor and there’s no sign of Cadence anywhere. It’s even worse because where I expect to see Amy or at least have a text or something from her, everything is silent and she’s nowhere to be found.
There was a split second when Isabelle left that I thought I was blowing things out of proportion and Cadence would be fine. Her absence would have nothing to do with Ames and the shit she pulls with the girls. I wanted to believe that because I didn’t tell her to do it, she would leave well enough alone and I’d find her hanging with Tim and the others just like every other time.
The longer we go without finding them though, it gets harder to believe in. It means when we do find them, not only is Amy gonna pay for what she did, just the way Kayden said, but I am too. This is all going to fall back in my lap and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it because it’s true.
I knew talking to Cadence that first day was going to come back to haunt me. Not because of who she is or even that she has issues. I knew that Amy would see her as a threat and I still kept going with it. I know exactly what my girlfriend is like and just like every other time I’ve picked on one of the people I consider weak and retarded, I threw another one under the bus. This time I didn’t want to do it. It doesn’t make me a good person but I wanted things to be different.
Cadence was never supposed to go through this, because she’s better than this.
“If something happened to that girl, Dillon, I swear to god.”
We’ve been so focused on finding the girls that we haven’t said a word to each other the entire time we’ve been looking. I’m not surprised these are his first words to me. Ever since he started spending time with Isabelle, he’s been an advocate for the kids like her. Kayden’s become predictable.
“You really think I wanted shit to go down this way?”
He knows me better than anyone, he was right about that earlier. No one knows the way my mind works like him so he should know that I wouldn’t do things this way. If Cadence had been a target the way the others were, I would have planned it way better. It’s like the shit with his car. I wouldn’t do that right after being nailed by the guy. It’s too flashy and calls attention to me automatically. As much as I want them to think more like me, Amy and Tim just don’t operate the same way.
“This has your stench all over it.”
“Not this time it doesn’t.”
“Because this time, you like the girl.”
Nope. Not going there. It wasn’t all that long ago I did this very thing with Kayden in order to garner information from him. I don’t think he’s doing it for the same reasons I did, but there is no way in hell he’s getting me to admit to anything.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, I said the same exact thing. Turns out I was just fooling myself. We might not see eye to eye, but you’re doing exactly what I did.”
“Can we just get back to what’s important here? We need to find Ames and Cadence. The longer they’re missing, the worse this feels.”
Music starts playing and looking over, I see he’s stopped and is pulling his phone out of his back pocket. Looking down, reading whatever’s been sent, he wastes no time letting me know what it’s about.
“Isabelle found Cadence. She’s with her mom.”
There’s this second after he says it where I feel the tension in my body release and I’m able to breathe easily again. I know that we were on the lookout for both girls, but knowing that Cadence is fine, it’s what matters most. If she’s with her mom then that means Amy didn’t get her.
“Look, Belle wants me to meet her upstairs. You gonna keep looking for Ames or you wanna come with?”
There’s one thing I’ve been sure about since Homecoming. Kayden’s hatred for me. After what I put him and Isabelle through, it’s understandable and I just moved on from it, putting it in the back of my mind, even though I knew that he wouldn’t ever let it go that easily. He’s haunted my every movement since that day in the hall where he told me that everything was over, but I didn’t even care. We weren’t friends anymore so I had nothing else to say to him. Hearing him invite me along now, it’s surprising. Considering everything going on, him wanting to be around me at all is a miracle.
“Pretty sure I’m the last person they want to see.”
“You do need to be up there for class.”
I can’t argue with that. I did need to be upstairs, but for the first time in a long time, I’m afraid to go up there. Kayden needs to go on his own. I’m not ready to come face to face with her just yet, especially now.
“You go ahead. I’ll head up in a couple minutes.”
He nods his head and just as he’s about to turn and walk away, he stops. Bringing himself back to where I’m standing, he leans in and as he does I catch the smile on his face.
“Do the world a favor would you?” he asks and going along with him, I nod. “Get rid of Amy before she drags you down with her.”
Not waiting around for a response, he heads for the stairs and as I watch him disappear through the doors, I think about what he said. As perfect as I thought she was for me, how similar we are and the way she seems to get me, can I really get rid of her for doing something I’ve had her do a million times before?
The short answer is yes. If it comes down to a choice between Cadence and Amy, the choice is so damn clear that even I can’t deny it.
I need to deal with Amy once and for all.
Chapter Ten
Cadence
I’ve never been so happy to be outside in my life.
Not a lot of people know, but this isn’t my first experience with bullying. It’s the first time it’s happened here, but before Mom got me into my school, I was in regular elementary. I experienced kids and their hate firsthand and while it wasn’t anywhere near what I just went through, it wasn’t pretty either. People, kids especially seem to think that just because we can’t hear the things th
ey say about us that we have no idea it’s happening.
There was this one time, when I was like ten, where I read a girl’s lips at school and she had some pretty mean things to say about me and my friend Harrison. There was nothing different about Harrison, he was just like her, but because he made a choice to be my friend, it opened him up for the horrible words and taunts that were thrown around about me all the time.
It didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It bothered me that she said stuff about me, it hurt if I’m honest about it, but it was the things she said about Harrison that pushed me forward. I walked up and when she finally turned and acknowledged me, I slapped her across the face. A move she definitely hadn’t been expecting.
I don’t like fighting but that’s not to say I’ve never been pushed to it. The girl, whose name I can’t even remember, backed down after that. It’s like slapping her, I woke her up and she started thinking I could hear her after all. The taunts stopped and though I still had people do them, they weren’t coming from her and Harrison was able to go on being my friend and not worry about being attacked for it. I’d done what I set out to do.
Being deaf is not a weakness or it shouldn’t be seen as one and that’s what I wanted to get across that day. It’s still what I want people to see. It’s the same thing with the special needs kids. They are no different than I am, than anyone is really. Just because they might act in ways that ‘normal’ people don’t or experience life in a different way, it doesn’t make them wrong or less than anyone else. We’re not weak or what’s wrong with the world. If anything, from the people that I’ve met and spent time with, we might just be what’s right about it.
It didn’t take long after Belle showed up for her to talk my mom into letting me leave. Having lived through this herself, she knows better than anyone that staying in the classroom, even if I am protected by a parent wasn’t the right thing for me. My mom cracked under the pressure and with the promise of having Kayden drive me home, she let me go.
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