He went silent and that silence developed into the remote wall that she’d felt since the reunion. “You’re becoming defensive, and you’re backing away.”
“How do you expect me to react to a question like that?” Frustration was evident in his voice.
“I was hoping you could answer it. I was hoping that there was someone here who matters as much as Dawson and Clay, Mikala and Celeste, me and your dad.”
“Maybe I’ve decided that those kinds of ties cost too much.”
She gazed into the end-of-November night, not knowing what to say.
Taking hold of her shoulder, he nudged her around to face him again. “Can’t you let go of the Rocky D and Miners Bluff for just one night?”
Biting her lower lip, she sifted through her feelings before she confessed, “I let go of it last night, Zack, only to find out I had nothing else to hang on to when I did. I’m ready to go home.”
He looked frustrated with her, but the fire was back in his eyes as if he wanted to kiss her. Then, all at once, his face became neutral, his tone even. “I’ll find our host and we can say our goodbyes.”
She was afraid she was saying more than goodbye to L.A. She was afraid she was starting to say goodbye to Zack all over again.
Instead of bales of hay and the rustic look of a barn, the firehouse’s social hall was buzzing on Friday afternoon with volunteers who were filling food baskets and taking deliveries to needy families in the area. Back in Miners Bluff again, Jenny and Zack worked side by side, speaking to the other volunteers but not each other. There was a crackle in the air when their gazes met, current rushing between them if they inadvertently touched. But Jenny was keeping her thoughts and words to herself and so was Zack.
Anna stopped beside Jenny and gave the two of them a wise, knowing look. “Silas says he’s doing well with his rehab.”
Zack responded, “He says his nurse is a slave driver but he’s looking better every day.”
“That’s wonderful. I hope he can start looking forward again and see what he can accomplish. He thinks his best years are behind him, but that isn’t so.” She paused, then said, “Mikala tells me you were in California for a few days.” She looked at Zack. “I bet you miss it.”
“I miss the ocean and the long walks on the beach. But as far as work, I’m amazed at what I can accomplish long distance. With smart phones and video conferencing, work really is portable.”
“Mikala does that video conferencing on her computer. I don’t understand the first thing about it.” Anna tapped her pocket. “But I wouldn’t be without my cell phone. It’s my connection to Mikala and all my friends. I even text.”
Jenny laughed. “Maybe you can teach Silas how to do it. I’ve tried to, but he just gives me one of those looks and says talking’s good enough for him.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Anna’s eyes twinkled. “I’ll be seeing him Sunday. I’m picking him up and we’re going to dinner.”
At Jenny and Zack’s astonished silence, she said, “I see he didn’t tell you.”
“It’s wonderful you’re going out!” Jenny said, recovering from her surprise.
Anna blushed a little. “Just to the Feather Peak Diner.”
“An outing will be good for Dad. I should have thought of it myself,” Zack said, seeming sincere.
“We made plans while you were gone. But I thought he’d tell you.”
Jenny suspected why Silas hadn’t. Maybe he thought Zack wouldn’t approve.
Anna noticed the baskets Zack and Jenny had almost completed filling. “Would you mind delivering some of these? We’ve so many this year.”
Jenny gazed up at Zack and he gave a small shrug and a nod. “Sure, I have the truck,” he agreed. “We’ll load it up and we’ll be on our way.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were on the road, Zack expertly driving.
“What do you think of your dad and Anna going out?”
Zack gave an offhanded shrug. “He enjoyed Anna’s company on Thanksgiving. Maybe while we were gone he decided he can have a real life again.”
“How will you feel if they become serious?” she pressed.
“Dad’s never consulted me about his decisions. I don’t think he’ll start now.”
Zack was so good at evading what he felt as well as talking about it. Jenny let the subject alone for now. “I tagged one of the baskets for the Larsons.”
Zack gave her a quick sideways look. “From what Michael says, I don’t think his dad would appreciate it.”
“I don’t know if he’ll appreciate it or not, but they need it. Maybe they won’t be home and we can just leave the basket at the door.”
“If Mr. Larson is home, we’ll deal with him.” Zack’s quick look was confident.
“Just because you can convince Dusty to come inside the barn now, doesn’t mean you can get Stan Larson to accept a handout without protest.”
“There’s a secret. Dusty doesn’t have to stay inside the barn. That door to the corral is always open. He can come and go as he pleases. You just have to give a person an out so they don’t feel trapped.”
“And what’s the out we’re going to give Stan Larson?”
“Let me work on it,” Zack said with a wry smile.
Jenny just shook her head.
After a few quiet minutes, Jenny knew she had to fill Zack in on plans she’d made for Sunday. “Clay, Celeste and Abby are coming over Sunday afternoon. Will you be around?”
“Should I be around?”
She shifted uncomfortably because she realized he probably knew she had something in mind besides a simple visit. “I told Abby we’d make cookies and I thought maybe you and Clay could set up the tree. Hank and Ben found one that’s perfect. It’s in the storage shed for now.”
Zack’s silence was telling. He’d already explained holidays meant little to him. But she was trying to change that and he knew it.
Finally, he answered, “It will be good to spend some time with Clay and Celeste.”
She noticed he didn’t mention Abby. Because it was too painful to think about the child they’d lost and dwell on what could have been?
Two hours later, they’d delivered all the baskets except for the one Jenny had put together for Michael and Tanya’s family. Zack had been on his phone on and off in between deliveries and had even let her drive some of the way. She wasn’t sure what the calls were about. She couldn’t quite tell from his side of the conversations.
As they approached the address Jenny had secured from her lesson roster, she began to feel a little nervous. What if Michael’s dad was home?
Once again in the driver’s seat, she asked Zack, “Are we making a mistake?”
“This is food we’re talking about, Jenny. I suspect this family is making do and not by very much. We can at least try. If the help is rejected, we’ll find another way to help.”
After they disembarked from the truck, Zack pulled the lone basket from the back. Then he slammed the truck’s bed door shut. When they reached the front door, Jenny punched the bell and waited, hoping Helen would answer.
But luck wasn’t with her today. Stan Larson opened the door, studied them for a few minutes, then scowled. “Aren’t you from the Rocky D?”
“Yes, we are,” Jenny answered, her shoulders squared, her gaze meeting the proud man’s. “But really, today we’re just from Miners Bluff. We’re passing out food baskets and we’d like to give you one.”
“My family is fine,” he said stiffly. “Go give your basket to someone else.”
“Maybe we should introduce ourselves,” Zack interjected. “This is Jenny Farber and I’m Zack Decker.”
“I know who you are. Don’t you think I hear from Helen how great Miss Farber is with the kids? Don’t you think I know she’s giving them lessons for free? And you…I’ve seen your face on TV and in magazines. I don’t want your food. I don’t need it.”
Zack set the basket down on the porch floor then straightened slowly. “Y
ou’re a father, Mr. Larson. Isn’t it your job to provide the best you can?”
Jenny took hold of Zack’s elbow. “Zack.”
But Michael and Tanya’s dad shook his head. “Let him say his piece, then he can leave with his basket. I’m not a charity case.”
“Isn’t it true you’re out of work?” Zack pressed.
“I am, but I’ll have a job soon. I’m waiting to hear from a couple of friends.”
“How far are you behind on your rent, your utilities?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Maybe not, but I don’t think you want to lose everything, including the respect of your family, do you?”
“What would you know about it?”
The way he said the word “you,” Jenny was sure Michael’s dad thought Zack lived in another universe.
“You’re right, I don’t know how you feel,” Zack admitted. “I had plenty lean years when I didn’t have work. Thank God, I didn’t have a family to take care of then. But you do. So I don’t think you can afford to let pride rule your life.”
“You think a ham and some canned goods are going to make a difference?”
“It might in the way you spend your holiday, and what you have to be thankful for. But maybe I’m here to offer you more than a food basket.”
Jenny dashed a look at Zack in total surprise. What was he talking about?
From Stan Larson’s expression, he wondered the same thing.
“Are you willing to change your life?” Zack asked.
“What does that mean?” Stan was definitely wary.
“Are you willing to move to Phoenix?”
Michael’s dad took a step back. “I…I don’t know. Why?”
“I have a contact in Phoenix who owns a general contracting company. He’s managed to ride out the economic downturn when other companies have gone under. He has several crews and he could use a qualified electrician. Are you interested?”
Stan looked speechless, and then he looked mystified. “Why would you do this? You don’t know me.”
“I know Tanya and I know Michael, and they seem to think you’re a good dad who just needs a break. I know they’ll miss everyone here if you move, but in the long run, life could be better for them. Right?”
Zack produced a card from his pocket and handed it to the man. “Dawson Barrett is the CEO of the company. His dad, Greg Barrett, is his crew manager and right-hand man. Both of their numbers are on there. Give either one of them a call today and they’ll give you the details. They’re looking to hire soon, so you have to make up your mind.”
Stan studied the card, turning it over in his hand. “I have to talk to Helen.”
“Of course you do,” Zack acknowledged. “Dawson said you could call their cell numbers.”
“Helen took the kids downtown to McDougall’s Department Store to see Santa. I told her it wasn’t any point. She was setting them up for disappointment.”
“Maybe now they won’t have to be disappointed,” Jenny said softly. “There’s a gift certificate to McDougall’s in the basket. Please don’t look on this as charity. Just try to look at it as the people of Miners Bluff standing together to help each other.”
Stan stared down at his sneakers. “I suppose the rich folk of Miners Bluff donated all this.”
“No,” Jenny told him quickly. “That’s not true. Everybody in town gave what they could. Maybe sometime soon, you’ll be able to help someone who needs a hand up.”
Stan’s gaze went to the basket, rose to Zack’s and then Jenny’s. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Dawson’s a high school buddy of mine,” Zack told him. “Just do a good job for him.”
Stan stooped to pick up the basket and then smiled at them for the first time. “I can’t wait ’til Helen gets home.”
As they turned away, Jenny tossed over her shoulder, “Tell her I’ll see her tomorrow for the kids’ lessons.” He waved as they climbed into the truck. He was still waving as they drove away.
On the road again, out of the corner of his eye, Zack could see Jenny swing around as far as she could with her seat belt attached. “You didn’t tell me you were going to do that,” she accused.
“I didn’t know if it would come together. Dawson might not have needed anyone. He had to check with his dad and wait to hear back. I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”
Jenny was quiet as Zack drove back to the Rocky D, and he didn’t know what to think. Did she believe he had been too high-handed? Sometimes it was hard to tell with her these days. She was doing a better job of keeping her guard up.
He thought about their walk on the beach and what had happened afterward in Malibu. No guard up then…for either of them. Was that why he backed away from everything she’d tried to tell him? Was that why the idea of commitment urged him to work through the night and most of the day, too? She wanted so much and he felt as if he could give so little.
He kept thinking everything would have been different if she’d gone with him to L.A. when he’d asked her. Yet, would everything really have been different? Would she have stayed? Or would she have bailed? Would she have gotten tired of waiting for him to ask her to marry him when that had never been in his plans? Would he have started thinking differently about a life with her? Especially if she was pregnant.
And what if she was pregnant now? That thought practically made him panic and he wasn’t the panicking type.
He’d always known his own mind. He’d always had goals and known exactly what they were. Now, his life was fuzzy. He was restless and not much made sense.
He drove under the wooden sign for the Rocky D that marked the front boundary of the property as he had done thousands of times before. At least, since his dad’s heart attack, he didn’t feel so estranged from his life here as a kid. He definitely didn’t feel as estranged from Jenny.
The lane was rutted with tire tracks. He tried his best not to give them a rough ride, but he knew they were in for one anyway. They couldn’t put a stop to this attraction any more than they could stop breathing. Staying away from each other, in some ways, just made the chemistry even more obvious.
Chemistry. He’d never felt this kind of chemistry with any woman other than Jenny and that was way too telling on its own.
Zack had no sooner pressed the remote to park the truck in one of the garages, when Jenny unfastened her seat belt. He thought she was in a hurry to jump out and get busy doing whatever else she wanted to do for the day. Jenny was like that. She never sat idle. Yet, instead, she waited for him to switch off the ignition. To his surprise, she leaned over, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.
Reacting instinctively, he unhitched his seat belt with one hand and wrapped his other arm around her. Kissing across the console wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but comfort was the last thing on his mind as fire raced through him, as sensations jammed his brain and all he could think about was leading Jenny to his bed.
She let up first and he told himself this wasn’t the place to go crazy, tear her clothes off, or to pretend they were those teenagers again.
When his thoughts got unstuck, he took a deep breath, righted himself in his seat and asked, “What was that for?”
“That was for the wonderful thing you did for Michael and Tanya. Do you know what this means for them and their future?”
He felt heat creeping up his neck at her praise and strived to be offhanded. “I checked around Miners Bluff and even in Flagstaff before I made the call to Dawson. I couldn’t find him anything else.”
“If they get back on their feet, the economy picks up and they want to move back here in a few years, they can. But they’ll build a life wherever they go and that’s what’s important,” she concluded.
“Is that what’s important?” he asked and watched to see if Jenny caught the underlying meaning of his message.
Before she could answer him, his cell phone buzzed. Jenny motioned
for him to take it and he checked the caller ID.
“It’s work,” he said, wanting to hear her answer.
But she was already climbing out of the truck. He knew why. She didn’t want to answer his question because it came too close to the root of the problems between them.
Ten minutes later, he went into the house, knowing his call would make everything between them more complicated. Jenny was in the kitchen having a glass of orange juice at the counter. She’d taken off her coat. Her Western-motif red and green sweater hugged her slim body at the waistband of her jeans. Her high boots showed off her slim legs. She’d worn her hair in a ponytail today and with the cold air still pinking her cheeks, she looked like the all-American western girl. The kiss was still with him and he was glad his sheepskin jacket fell midthigh. He didn’t unsnap it.
She must have been able to tell something from his expression because she asked, “Problem?”
“No. In fact, it was good news about the documentary project I want to do.”
“Concerning veterans?”
“Yes, the funding’s there, but…I’m going to be traveling for the next few months.”
“Traveling?”
“I can put the production company together long distance from here. I know who I want on my team. But this is all about the men’s stories so I’m going to have a lot of interviews to do, many of them in D.C., some across the country.”
“Do you want to do the interviews yourself?”
“I’m not sure about that yet, but I do know I want to run the project, as well as edit it, not stay in the background. It will air in about a year on a cable network.”
The disappointment in Jenny’s eyes was obvious and he approached her and stood beside her. “I can’t delay the timing of this. It’s too important.”
“Silas is on the mend,” she offered with sudden neutrality that made him want to shake her.
“I was hoping I could convince you to spend some time in California, maybe in the spring,” he offered.
Once Upon a Groom Page 14