by S. Valentine
She crouched down, and cupped water in her hand to swill her mouth out. After she washed her hands, she returned to her office. She instantly spotted the concern on Mallory’s face. “I’m fine.”
“What did you have for dinner yesterday?”
“Food.”
“Very funny. Seriously?”
“Um…” She racked her brain. “I had crisps and a cake.”
Mallory shook her head in disapproval. “You need to eat properly.”
“I know.” She groaned. “I will.” Tapping the spacebar of her computer she noticed her inbox was flooded with emails. She was displeased she was in for a busy day. “So, Suzie’s Friday night, and Sasha’s Saturday night?”
“Sure.” Mallory stood up. “Are you going to dance class later?”
Gabi nodded.
“Good.” She yanked the door open. “You know where I am if you need me, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Mal.”
When Gabi was alone in her quiet office, she slouched in her chair. Kicking her shoes off, she closed her eyes. How she wished she could take a nap right then. Her eyelids were heavy, and her mind was aching with information overload. Rubbing circles into her temples, she then mustered up the energy to get some work done. Unable to locate a pen on her desk, she pulled open the drawer. She was met with the photograph of her and Darion in London that she had shoved in there. She grabbed a pen and slammed it shut. She wasn’t in the mood to be tormented by happy memories.
When the working day finished, she headed straight to dance class. She quickly changed into leggings, a crop top and trainers, and stalked to the lesson. The tutor was fiddling about with the stereo. Greeting Kalli with a wave, she placed her bag on the windowsill.
“How are you, Gabi?”
“I’m fine,” she said, plastering on a brave face. She didn’t want to discuss Darion and dampen her mood, which at that moment was excitement for dancing, and releasing some pent-up energy. “How are you?”
“I’m really good. The kids and hubby are still driving me nuts, but I wouldn’t change them for the world.”
“Why do you choose a noisy dance class to get away from it all, and not some relaxing spa treatment, or quiet gym?”
“I used to dance when I was younger, so it makes me feel like me again.” She beamed.
Gabi nodded understandably.
“Everyone ready?” the tutor yelled. “Let’s do our usual warm up.” She pressed play on the stereo and hip hop music followed.
Gabi stretched her muscles, mirroring the tutor’s movements. She could see herself in the gigantic mirror before her. She looked noticeably thinner. She made a mental note to cook a decent meal once she got home.
“Okay. Are you ready for some footwork?” the tutor asked. “Kick your right leg forward like this.” She kicked her leg out. “Then bring it back in.” She returned to her normal position. “Now do the same with the left leg…kick forward…bring in.”
Gabi followed her instructions.
“Let’s do that again, but faster and twice this time. Then we’ll move our arms in the same way.”
An hour and a half later after intricate dance moves, Gabi finally got home. It didn’t take long to make some pasta, which she ate before the television. She tried her hardest to concentrate on the show, but she felt empty, sad. Dancing had given her a happiness boost, but it hadn’t lasted. Being in her empty apartment, with no Darion to call or cuddle up to, was hell. Even when she was in the bath, the vanilla candle scent filling her nostrils, and the hot water soothing her muscles, she was still restless. If only she had answers as to why he had ended it, then maybe it would be easier to get over him. If she had something that made her hate him, she could convince herself them being apart was for the best. But her feelings for him were far from hatred. Questions swirled round in her head. Should she call him and ask for an explanation? It just didn’t make sense.
Closing her lids and holding her breath, she submerged her entire body into the water. At least her tears would be washed away.
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Darion
Darion kicked the covers away and pulled himself off Lennie’s sofa. The past week had been lonely. He’d shut himself away from everything and everyone. He’d needed time to think. He’d thought being away from The Black Door, Retox, and his drinking and gambling buddies would prevent him from going down the self-destruction path. He couldn’t afford to throw everything away he had worked hard for. The savings he had were for Retox and to support Preston. He wasn’t about to let personal issues get in the way of business, and so keeping away had seemed like the best idea.
Many times he had wanted to call Gabi, to apologise and beg for forgiveness. He desperately wanted everything to go back to normal. Then Eva’s words echoed in his mind and he forced himself to do the right thing, to let Gabi go. She would be happier without him in the long run. He couldn’t be everything she wanted him to be. Could he?
“Hey, Daz, you’re awake.” Lennie looked up, a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He was sat at the kitchen table, tapping away on his mobile. “Sleep good?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I suppose.”
“How long do you intend on staying here?”
“Why?” He sauntered to the sink and poured himself a glass of water. “Do you want me gone?”
“Nah. You’re welcome here for as long as you like. I just think you’ll regret not being there for that kid.”
“He doesn’t need me, Len.” He screwed up his face before gulping back his drink.
“Everybody needs a dad.” He doused his cigarette in the ashtray. “My dad wasn’t perfect. He fucked up. He made a lot of mistakes, but he was there. That’s all that matters.”
“I don’t wanna ruin his life by being the wrong sort of dad.” He set the glass down and leant against the counter. “What if Eva’s right? What if, one day, it all gets too much, and I do return to my old habits? I can’t change overnight. I was foolish to think I could.”
“Eva doesn’t know shit. She’d say anything to mess up things for you, and make you as miserable as her. If she hasn’t got you, she doesn’t want anyone else to have you.” Lennie pushed himself to his feet and searched the cupboards. Taking hold of a large bag of crisps, he popped the bag open, and sat back down. “You know what your problem is?” he said, crunching noisily. “You live in the past, and worry about the future. You never live in the present, and appreciate it for what it is in that moment. Your head is always someplace else.”
Darion nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I thought being in a normal relationship was hard, but being a dad is even harder. I’m constantly fucking worrying that I’ll mess up.”
The sound of the doorbell made him straighten his posture. Lennie trudged to answer it. When Lexi walked in, he perked up a little. She grinned, before pulling him into a tight hug.
“How’s it going, Daddy?” She giggled.
“Enough of that.”
“I’ve been trying to get hold of you for days.”
“Sorry, Lex. I needed time out.”
“Time out?” She shoved him playfully. “Do you think Gina gets time out when she wants it?”
He chuckled. “You’re right. That’s why I’ve gotta head back.”
“So, what’s been going on?” She pulled herself up onto the counter, and snatched a crisp from Lennie’s bag. “How’s Gabi?”
“We split up.”
“What?” Her mouth dropped. “Why? She was perfect for you, Daz.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t perfect for her.”
“What do mean?”
He raked his hand through his hair. “She deserves better.”
“Better? How? You love her, protect her, have changed your life for her, and you make her happy. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
Darion chewed his bottom lip, not knowing what to respond with. It must get better than that.
“I don’t understand the chang
e of heart,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “I thought you decided you and Gabi were good for one another?”
“I did.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Until Eva poked her nose in,” Lennie huffed. “I’ll be in there if you need me.” He nodded to Darion, and vanished into the living room.
Lexi turned to him, her face displaying anger. “What did Eva say to you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, digging into his pocket for his cigarettes. When he couldn’t find a lighter, he sighed heavily, and gave up.
“Daz, tell me,” she commanded icily.
“She said some shit about me being able to change my ways temporarily, but I’d be back to how I was within a certain amount of time.” He dropped onto a chair and hung his head in his hands. “She’s probably right. The playrooms still fascinate me.”
“Of course they still fascinate you.” She pulled up a chair beside him. “You enjoyed that lifestyle for a long time. Do you think anyone with an addiction doesn’t miss and think about what it was they were addicted to from time to time? It’s normal. I bet if you returned to that life, you’d miss Gabi, and you’d be thinking about her, about the normal life you could have had. The grass is greener where you water it.”
“I just don’t wanna hurt her, Gina, or Preston.”
“You won’t. You’ve changed a lot since you’ve met Gabi. And I know you have the potential to be a good father.” Lexi rubbed up and down his arm supportively. “I don’t know why you let Eva mind-fuck you. She tried to make you feel weak and pathetic for being in love. She’s poison. Don’t let her perception of you define you. You’re a good person, and everyone has a past.”
Darion drummed his fingers on the table, saying nothing.
“Please don’t let her ruin your happiness. Put your all into it with Gabi and with Preston. At least then you can say you tried.”
“Gabi won’t take me back now. She hates me.”
“Unfortunately, love doesn’t go away that easily. Trust me, I’ve fucking tried.”
“I’d proposed to her not so long ago.”
“What?” she shrieked, bewilderment showing on her face. “And you’re trying to tell me you haven’t changed?” She slapped his arm. “You proposed because you love her, you want to change, you want to be a better man. Tell me I’m wrong.” She challenged him with a lift of her brows.
“You’re not wrong.”
“How did you propose?” She clapped her hands together in excitement.
“Right after sex.”
She gasped. “Whoever said romance was dead was right. And the ring?”
“I told her I’d take her shopping for one.”
“Darion Milano, you’ve topped the ranks for the most-insensitive-asshole-way-of-proposing.”
He licked his dry lips to moisten them. “You know me and romance don’t exactly go hand in hand.”
“You’ve got some serious making up to do.” She laughed. “And there’s no time like the present. Come on.” She jumped up.
“Where are we going?”
“Home. I want to see Gina and that beautiful little boy of yours, and you’re ordering an engagement ring online.”
He groaned. “I’m not doing that. Gabi won’t take me back.”
“Well, at least try,” she snapped. “We need to find out her ring size.”
“Like it’s that easy.”
“Do you have her friend Mallory’s number?”
“No, but she works at the same place as Gabi, so I could call there.”
“Do you think she’d know her size?”
He pushed himself to his feet. “Actually, she might. She returned her old engagement ring to Lawrence.”
“Ah.” Her eyes lit up. “I bet she tried it on first to see how it looked. Us women are suckers for a pretty rock.” She beamed. “Failing which, I bet she’d find out.”
Darion didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the craziness of his unpredictable life. He was being pushed and pulled like a ragdoll. Eva was in one ear telling him to end his relationship, that Gabi deserved better, and Lexi was in the other ear telling him to propose to Gabi again, and that he was good enough for her. He remained rooted to the spot for a moment, thinking long and hard about what it was that he wanted. It really was decision time. Be a doting, faithful boyfriend to Gabi, and give her what she wanted, should she forgive him: marriage and a family. Or continue to live his life spontaneously, and enjoy his sexual freedom forever, without a care in the world.
He knew which option was the easiest, and which he couldn’t fail at. The question was, would that make him happy in years to come?
***
Gabi
“Cheers!” Gabi tapped her glass against Suzie’s and Mallory’s.
They were in Sasha’s bar, sitting in a booth, with several drinks before them. Suzie was on fruit cocktails, and she and Mallory were on the good, strong stuff. All week she had waited for Saturday to come. Dancing, drinking, and letting loose was just what she needed. Even though Mallory was gushing about her perfect relationship and relaying the details of her holiday to Suzie, and Suzie was pregnant and now showing, Gabi wasn’t envious. She was happy for her friends. She was as excited for Suzie’s baby to arrive as she was.
For the first time ever though, Gabi didn’t have much to talk about. She had no boyfriend, or nothing interesting to gossip about. They knew all about the break-up. Rather than feeling single and fabulous, she felt single and horrendous. They said time was a great healer, but she didn’t believe it. Not at that moment anyway.
“It was nice you both popped by yesterday,” Suzie said, twirling her straw in her drink. “Marcus was pleased he could brag about the baby.” She laughed. “Honestly, it’s all he ever talks about.”
“It was nice seeing him too,” Mallory responded. “I’ll bring Steve next time.”
“You should.” Suzie slid in her chair and stroked her stomach. “I’m so impatient, I just want to meet her now,” she gushed, studying her bump.
“Not too long left.”
Gabi fidgeted in her chair. As she took in the dancing crowd, she had an urge to join them. Taking hold of her drink, she drained it back, and then started on another drink. Shit! She grimaced. It was whisky. She hadn’t even looked at the drink. Mallory had ordered a variety of everything. Her heart tightened. It was Darion’s favourite drink. Many times she had kissed him and tasted it on his lips. Her high spirits plummeted. She missed kissing him so much. Stop thinking about him, he’s an asshole, she scolded herself.
“Mind if I dance?” she asked the girls.
“No, go ahead.” Suzie grinned. “You go too, Mal. I’ll be fine here, honey. Honestly.”
“I’m not leaving you here on your own.”
“I insist,” she said sharply.
Reluctantly Mallory stood up. They wove through the dancing, excited crowd, and settled in the middle of the dance floor. Swaying and dancing from side to side, she began to relax. Spinning around, her hair flying about behind her, the alcohol began to take effect. She giggled as she stumbled slightly in her heels. A large palm pressed against her stomach to steady her. Instinctively she bolted backwards.
“Sorry.” A man held his hands up in defence.
“She’s okay,” Mallory told him, and twisted her round to face her. “Everything good?”
She nodded. “I’m going to the ladies’.”
As Gabi pushed through the crowd, couples caught her attention. They were either dancing together, kissing, or laughing. She wished she knew what Darion was doing. Was he missing her, or was he coping just fine? When she was in the privacy of a cubicle, she took out her mobile. There were no notifications on the screen. The rejection was unsettling. Tilting her head back, she stared up at the ceiling. She contemplated messaging him to see how he was. Deciding against it, she stuffed the mobile into her bag. He’d ended the relationship. He was obviously standing by his decision. She hung her head in her hands with a
heartfelt sigh.
She wondered if other men would help take her mind off Darion. She’d spotted a couple of cute men amongst the crowd. Getting to her feet, she touched up her make-up before the mirror, and strutted back into the main room.
When she noticed a figure leant casually against the bar surface, she stilled. He had his back to her. His tall, broad frame was concealed in black clothing, and his dark hair was neatly styled. A few giggling women surrounded him.
Gabi’s heart skipped a beat when he slowly turned around. Lifting his head, their eyes locked. It wasn’t Darion. She didn’t know whether she was more relieved, or disappointed.
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Darion
After the nurse had weighed Preston, taken his measurements, and checked his heartbeat, she carefully handed him back to Gina. Sitting on the opposite side of the table, she began scribbling notes down before she looked up and smiled. Pulling the stethoscope out of her ears, she said, “This baby is a fighter, just like his mommy and daddy.”
Darion almost scoffed. He wasn’t a fighter. He was a coward. All he’d done since Preston was born was run away. He intended to make up for it though, and ensure he was there for him.
“He seems healthy, he’s put on weight, and his heartbeat is perfectly normal.”
Gina smiled weakly, tears forming. The nurse cocked her head to the side, and stared at her questioningly. Darion took hold of Gina’s hand and squeezed it.