For years I've done this. Every single building I enter, I assess the level of threat. No wonder my heart rate is always sky-rocketing. No wonder I am so very, very tired. It's not healthy to live with this level of fear, this level of heightened awareness. No one should sustain this for such a long length of time. No one.
"Are you OK, chickie?" Kelly's voice fractured the freeze and I swung my gaze towards my flatmate at my shoulder. "Whoa there, sweet pea! What's put that look on your face?"
I've had practice at this too. A smile graced my lips automatically and a form of the truth instantly came out.
"I almost got hit by a car this morning. I'm a little shaken." One of the top ten rules my father gave me: when on the spot and having to cover for a crack in your hide, lie with something as close to the truth as you can. People read the honesty first and ignore the underlying falsehood.
"Oh, Abs," Kelly exclaimed, running her eyes over my frame, making her blonde curls bob around her face with the motion. "Come take a seat by the counter and I'll get you chocolate. Everyone needs chocolate when they've seen their life flash before their eyes," she declared, leading me over to a couch beside the counters.
I sat down as instructed and worked on fortifying my persona, covering any cracks that had appeared in my façade. I've never stopped to think of the fact I am lying to people daily. It's just what I do. What I have had to do. But I've never become friends with someone I really, truly like. I like Kelly. I hate lying to her.
When had my conscience joined in on all the fun?
"Here you go, roomie!" Kelly said, settling a plate covered in delicious looking chocolate morsels in front of me and a steaming mochaccino beside it. "Get your laughing gear around that."
"Thanks, Kelly," I said, trying to infuse genuine gratitude into my voice. It wasn't a lie, at least.
Kelly threw herself onto the couch beside me and swiped a chocolate off my plate. How she manages to stay slim, with a hint of curves and nothing more, working and eating in an establishment like this, is beyond me. I'd be twice the size I am now, if I worked here.
"So, did you have a go at the dickhead driver that almost squashed you?" Kelly asked around a mouthful of bliss.
I let a small laugh out, as she expected it. "No. He was very apologetic, even offered to give me a ride."
"Ooh. Was he cute?" she asked, licking her lips. She could have been licking her lips to get the remnants of chocolate, but this was Kelly Quayle. She was licking her lips in anticipation of a good bit of hot juicy gossip.
"No, he wasn't," I said and realised my mistake before I'd even shut my mouth. Shit.
I waited for it. I didn't have to wait long. "Oh, then if he wasn't who was?"
I hadn't planned on mentioning Roan's tracker, but now I'd stupidly gone and put my foot in it. Why had I said that the way I said it? Just because I couldn't seem to get the image of that man's face out of my head, or the familiar wash of his scent, was no excuse to lower my guard and forget how to hide. Hiding, meant keeping things simple. The tracker, the man who flew from the shadows, was not a simple part of this story.
Shit.
As close to the truth as the lie can get.
"There was another guy there, he pulled me out of the way of the oncoming car." The lie was in the omission. Even if the statement was entirely true.
"Ohhh. And he was a cutey?" Kelly surmised. "How cute? Ten-out-of-ten cute? Take-him-home-to-meet-the-folks cute? Or wrap-him-up-in-satin-sheets-and-ride-him-'til-he-screams cute?"
This was why I loved Kelly. Life was one big adventure to her. Nothing fazed her. Nothing got in the way of her having fun. Kelly was everything I wanted to be. Everything Sarah Monaghan could never have. And everything my current chameleon persona was not meant to be. Through Kelly, I got to experience life. In the short amount of time I have lived with her, she's had three different guys over to stay. Not that I want to have a stream of men through my bedroom - shit, even one would be nice now and then - but there is something about Kelly Quayle that screams a life lived well. She doesn't hide who she is. She just is. And I love her for it.
And I'm jealous of her because of it.
I considered her question, and considered Roan's shadow dwelling man. Even if I had made a stupid, stupid mistake by mentioning him, it was done now. No going back. So, why not enjoy a little of what makes Kelly, Kelly, and answer the way I would want to answer, for once in my lie-ridden life?
"He was breath-stealing," I admitted the truth softly and Kelly all but sprang off the couch in glee.
"Tell me!" she demanded, sitting forward on the couch eagerly, whilst reaching over to nab another chocolate from the plate. "Spill the beans, sister, and don't leave anything out. Hold on!" she added abruptly. "This requires a powwow. Members of the sisterhood need to be summoned."
"Ah, Kelly. That's not really necessary," I began. She just raised her hand at me imperiously and then shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Gen baby! Get your arse over here and join in on a hottie breakdown!" I cringed as several eyes in the shop moved towards us. Some of them mildly amused, but not surprised in the least at Kelly's behaviour. Obviously regulars to Sweet Seduction.
"Alrighty!" Gen shouted back. "But this needs serious musical accompaniment." She turned her back on us to mess with the stereo behind the counter. Within seconds Avril Lavigne's Hot blasted out of the speakers. I just shook my head and Kelly grinned at Gen, as she approached us.
"So," Gen said perching on the armrest beside Kelly. "What's this about a hottie breakdown? Who's the lucky guy?"
I looked up into their expectant faces. Two sets of beaming smiles, two sets of beguiling blue eyes, two sets of blonde haired beauties waiting patiently for me to talk about a guy I shouldn't have even mentioned. Shit. What a mess. But what did it matter? I'd be gone by tomorrow, just a memory to these women. Nothing more. What harm could it do?
"He saved me from a speeding car," I said, watching Gen's face morph into an expression of excitement mixed with alarm.
And OK, I was stretching the truth now, because Pete's Ute was hardly speeding, but I was beginning to get into the swing of the hottie breakdown spirit. So, a stretch of the truth was entirely allowed.
"He swept me up into his arms and pulled me out of the way of the car," I added, feeling a level of excitement in me I hadn't experienced for some time. It was matched by the excitement evident on my two friends' faces. I felt a kinship with them in that moment, that filled me with unbelievable joy. "He was so fast and strong," I added, really getting into the swing of things now, only to be interrupted by Kelly.
"Yeah, yeah. But was he ripped? Did you get to squeeze his biceps?"
"Or stroke his triceps?" Gen offered.
"Or cup his glutes?" Kelly added.
"Or lick all over his pecs?" Gen suggested.
Both Kelly and I stared at her.
"What?" Gen asked, feigning innocence. "Don't knock it 'till you try it, 'sall I'm saying."
"Ignoring Genevieve's licking fetish," Kelly said, giving Gen a mock frown, then turning a sweet as pie smile on me. "What we really want to know was, was he hot?"
"Yes," I said simply, because he was the hottest guy I had ever laid eyes on. In my life. Those half-lidded chocolate brown eyes, that seemed to eat me up with a simple grazing over my entire body. How they morphed into a hard granite, when he obviously felt an emotion he wanted to keep in check. His - and here is where I was going to use one of Gen's fantasies - lickable mocha coloured skin. The way he felt pressed against me, strong and capable arms wrapped around me. How his body simply fitted into mine. His voice. Shit, I could write a poem about that voice. So low and gravelly, it roughed up my heart rate, and threatened to undo me all with a delicious friction made from sound alone. Forget about how it would feel to have him touch me and talk to me at the same time. I was coming apart from the memory of his voice next to my ear and little else.
"I guess he did it for you then?" Kelly asked, a supremel
y amused smile gracing her lips.
"What?" I said, rather rudely and most definitely not how Abi Merchant would talk.
"A gravelly voice that roughed up your heart rate," Kelly clarified and blood rushed to my face. Shit oh shit. I'd said all that aloud. "Gotta say, chickie. Never seen you this animated over anything before now."
I closed my eyes briefly and cursed my need to be a part of something real if only for a moment in time. I should have kept my stupid mouth closed. I'm twenty-three years old, after all. Hardly a teenager with a crush.
"So, did you get the hottie's name?" Gen asked, nabbing a chocolate morsel off the plate I was yet to touch. I just shook my head in answer.
"Why the hell not?" Kelly demanded, munching on her own chocolate. Her third chocolate. "Fuck, I'm gonna have to go to the gym tonight," she announced with disgust.
"Or call Spike for a workout," Gen suggested, licking chocolate off her fingers one by one.
"The boy is good with his hands, I'll give him that," Kelly admitted with a knowing smile.
"It's not his hands you want to work out, Kels," Gen said in mock seriousness.
"Well, he's good with other parts too, if you really want to know," Kelly said, leaning back in the seat with a glazed look in her eyes.
"Stop reminiscing!" Gen chastised with a swat of her hand on Kelly's arm. "This is Abi's moment to regale us with luscious memories."
Kelly sat upright again. "Too true. So?" She raised her eyebrows at me. "What did he look like? Obviously well buffed, cute-as, and with that lickable mocha skin, I'm going with Māori or some such deliciousness. What else set your panties on fire?"
I looked away from their piercing eyes. Of course there was something else I couldn't stop thinking about. Other than the fact that the smell of his cologne haunted my dreams, he was also one of Roan's men and I shouldn't have been having any thoughts about him at all, let alone luscious ones. But admitting I wanted to trace the pattern of his tattoo was too much truth, even for a moment of stolen "real". My time with the Devil's Henchmen had made me appreciate body art. They took pride in their markings. Wore it with honour. And a truly well done tattoo is art.
Roan's shadow man had art on his sleeve, that I couldn't stop fixating about.
"He was tall, really tall," I hedged, forcing myself to meet their eyes. Like I have had to do with so many people in the past, in order to make them believe what I was saying was the truth. I was good at it too. I'd had to be. When I really needed someone to believe what I was saying, I could make them see the truth in the lie with ease.
Except today it would seem.
"Yeah, tall," Gen said disbelievingly.
"Nah-uh, sweet pea," Kelly said, wrapping her arm around mine and hauling me closer to her side. She leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Just who the fuck do you think you are talking to, sister? I can smell a juicy tidbit a mile off, and this little secret, has juicay written all over it. Spill!"
I let a beleaguered sigh out and received two chuckles in return. I only had myself to blame. I'd walked myself into this mess, I'd just have to wade through it to the other side. So, I'd told them about Roan's shadow man. I'd even admitted that he was hot. What harm would there be in admitting his tattoo pushed all my womanly buttons? I was not going to mention his scent featuring in my erotic dreams. But as he was undoubtedly from down South - how else would Roan have hired him? - once I left here tonight, he wouldn't stay long. The chances of him crossing Kelly and Gen's paths was minuscule. So, in the spirit of a stolen "real" moment, I could divulge.
"He's got this tattoo," I said, looking down at the near empty plate of chocolate shapes on the coffee table in front of where we sat.
"Ohhh. Didn't pick you as a tattoo tart," Kelly said, giving my arm a playful squeeze. "What's it like then?"
"It's on his right arm, almost all of his arm." I paused, remembering the way the ink curved lovingly around those bare, beautifully defined muscles. "It went from just above his wrist, to up under the T-shirt sleeve he was wearing. I can't help wondering if it stops just there, or goes further. You know, like maybe spreads out across his pecs."
"Hmm. Pecs," Gen whispered off to the side.
"What is it?" Kelly asked. "And if you say it's an anchor inside a heart with the words 'I'm stuck on Shazza' written beneath it, then you and me need to have a talk about tattoo appropriate artistry to swoon over."
I giggled at the imagery, then abruptly stopped. I hadn't giggled since before I was fifteen. And Abi Merchant definitely didn't giggle.
"Well?" Kelly persisted, breaking into my turbulent thoughts.
"It's tribal. Māori art, with a wicked Tiki hidden in amongst it. The lines are perfect, no smudge of the ink at all. The tone consistent across the entire tattoo. Someone took a lot of time drawing it. They were good at what they did."
I noticed then that Kelly and Gen had gone quiet. I assumed it was the fact I had taken such notice of shadow man's tat that had taken them by surprise. It had surprised me, considering what else had been going on at the time. But I must have really noticed it. I know I'm an observant person, I've had to be to pick up on the odd man out. But even I had to admit the detail I recalled was impressive. So, I kind of understood their astonishment.
"Just like..." Gen said softly.
"Yeah, spooky huh?" Kelly finished for her.
"But I suppose lots of tribal tattoos have Tikis in them," Gen surmised.
"Not that I've seen. His is the only one I've ever come across," Kelly remarked.
"Seen a lot of tattoos have you, Kels?" Gen asked playfully.
"Sweetie! You'd be surprised where guys hide their art."
"I bet," Gen said, then added. "Still, why would he be anywhere near our Abi? Where were you when this happened, Abs?" she asked, turning to me. I just stared back, mouth open, shock stealing all words.
This couldn't be happening. I shook my head. No. This was a coincidence, nothing more.
"Um," I managed, but thankfully Kelly saved me.
"Could always find out if he's acted the hero today. Simple phone call."
"Yeah, you're right," Gen agreed, pulling a slim mobile phone from her trouser pocket. "Abi, you never know, but we may just be able to put you in touch with hot, handsome and heavily tattooed."
"Um," I managed again.
"How cool would that be?" Kelly asked with pure delight. Not cool, I thought to myself.
"Hey, you! How's things?" Gen said into her phone and the world closed in to just this couch, her voice and whoever was on the other end of the line, talking so quietly I couldn't make out the words.
"So, you been busy today?" Gen asked overly innocently. There was a pause and then she laughed heartily. A throaty sound that was all Gen. "Of course I'm keeping tabs on you." Pause. "No, Dominic does not suspect you of a thing." Pause. "I do." Longer pause, a small giggle on Gen's part.
I think I was dying here.
"Just wanted to know if you've saved any damsels in distress, that's all. Can't a fan show her appreciation?" she added. Then the longest pause yet. Gen pulled her phone away from her ear and stared at it with a frown. Then followed that with a shrug of her shoulders and the phone returning to her ear. "You there, Ben?"
Ben. Could this Ben be my shadow man? Nah, how the hell could Gen know someone Roan McLaren would have hired to find me? Ridiculous.
Gen turned on her perch to look at me. Her eyebrows rose as she held my gaze.
"Yeah. Yeah, all right," she said, still looking at me. "I'll do that. See ya," she finally added, absently, then pulled the phone from her ear and hit the screen to end the call. Kelly and I stared at her, waiting for the verdict.
Kelly was practically jumping up and down on the sofa with anticipation. I wanted the cushions to swallow me up and make me disappear. Because I recognised that look on Gen's face. I'd seen it before. Shit, I'd worn that same expression many times myself.
The kind of look you get when someone throws a curve ball at you, and you're no
t entirely sure that you're ready to catch it.
Chapter 4
As If A Nest Of Fire Ants Had Suddenly Attacked
"So, we got a winner?" Kelly asked. I couldn't say a word. Gen was looking at me strangely, a contemplative expression on her face.
"No," she said, quietly. "It's not him," she added, then got to her feet. "I gotta get back to work." She offered a smile, one I knew instantly was fake. Kelly missed it, as she happened to be reaching for her fourth chocolate from the plate before us.
"Well that sucks," Kelly said, stuffing the chocolate into her mouth and then proceeding to talk around it. "Only chocolate will fill the void of disappointment," she mumbled, although it sounded more like, "Onwe shockit'll fill the voi of dissaoinen."
I was still frozen solid, as she swallowed her chocolate fix down.
"Still, maybe we can introduce you to Ben, Abs," she said happily. "If you like big buff Māori dudes with tribal Tiki tattoos, then you'll like all of him. Ben's a babe, with a hint of bad-ass thrown into the mix." Her eyes washed over my frame, taking in the immaculate outfit, and severely pulled back and prim hairdo. She let a laugh out on a huff. "Who would have thunk it? My little staid flatmate's got a penchant for bad-boy rough. Good on ya, sister. Keep 'em guessin'."
She stood up then too. "Betta earn my living. Thanks for sharing, Abs, and I'm glad you didn't get snotted by a car." She smiled, it was genuine, and headed off to the counter where a still contemplative looking Gen watched.
I looked at the decimated plate of chocolates I hadn't even touched and the mochaccino I hadn't even tasted, and I decided life really did throw curve balls at you. Because as ridiculous as it sounded, Ben with the Tiki tattoo, who knew Gen well enough to make her laugh her hearty laugh, was definitely the shadow dwelling tracker who'd saved my life today.
I had no way of knowing what he had said to Gen, but her reaction was enough. I stood up woodenly from the couch and took one last look around Sweet Seduction. One last chance to commit it to memory. I wasn't going to go to work now. There was no point in pretending all was well.
Sweet Seduction Shadow Page 4