Sweet Seduction Shadow

by Nicola Claire

I stiffened. "Where is my father?"

  "Witness protection. We've got enough to move on McLaren now, our evidence is solid, thanks to your Dad."

  "Can I see him?"

  He shook his head. "Sorry, really I am, but not until this is over." I felt like he'd punched me in the stomach. "But we will let him know you're safe. And now you'll come under the same protection he does. The taskforce I'm working with on this will be informed and your status altered."

  "So, why are you on this taskforce, Pierce?" Ben asked. He still held my hand in one of his, but he now rested his closest arm along the back of my chair. Once again bracketed, cosseted by all of him.

  "You know my area of expertise," Pierce said steadily. Ben just nodded, so I was left in the dark, until Pierce added, "Been a lot of women hurt by this man. Even some kids. I wanted in on catching the bastard. I volunteered."

  "He hurt someone I know because of me," I admitted, feeling the guilt all over again. "It was a lesson and a threat rolled up in one. But if he hadn't known I knew her, or liked her, he wouldn't have chosen her to use."

  Pierce was quiet for a moment.

  "You saw it happen?" I shook my head. "He just told you?" Again a head shake, but I couldn’t say the words. Guilt had claimed my tongue for now. Ben shifted closer to me, bringing his chair directly alongside mine.

  "He showed her photos," Ben's voice rumbled next to me. "Visual aids to send the message home."

  "You actually saw pictures?" Pierce asked. I nodded. "Would you testify in court to that?" I bit my lip and frowned.

  "No!" Ben said with a shake of his head. "You do not drag her further into this. She's suffered enough because of that man."

  "He's been clever, Ben," Pierce said, getting a little animated in his efforts to reach through Ben's wall of fury between us and him. "We can put him away for decades, even life, with some of the evidence Art Monaghan has accumulated for us, but we have nothing on his... personal pursuits. Just hearsay and conjecture, which knowing the man's character is enough to convince me, but not enough to convince a judge or jury. Abi's seen evidence. Not just heard about it, she's seen photos. Her testimony is better than none."

  "No," Ben said resolutely.

  "Abi?" Pierce said, ignoring Ben altogether.

  "I said, no!" Ben repeated. "You don't get her to cave on this."

  "Ben, let the woman talk for herself," Pierce said, a little frustrated at the stonewalling.

  "Fuck no!" Ben said, shifting forward in his seat to send the message home.

  "He talk for you, Abi?" Pierce pushed.

  "Fuck you, Pierce!" Ben spat out through clenched teeth. "You're only after one fuckin' thing and to hell with how you get it. You are not using my woman, pulling her deeper into that pit McLaren fucking pushed her into, to set your conscience right."

  Every single word in that last sentence was articulated perfectly, letting me know just how wound up Ben was. No dropping the 'g', correct English all the way. Ben never ceased to amaze me, and watching him try to protect me with such obvious concern and control, was phenomenal. I basked in his care and worry, even as I knew I had to clear my conscience too.

  "Ben," I said softly.

  "No fuckin' way, Abi," he replied, his eyes pleading with me not to do this.

  "Did you give evidence against her?" I asked and watched his face shut down. It hurt, that he wanted to push me out like that, but I understood. The pain cut too deep. "I've got to do this," I explained. "He hurt her, because of me. It wasn't my fault, but I feel that guilt every day. This will make it better."

  He shook his head, the mask slipping. I caught a glimpse of utter agony cross his face.

  "It doesn't," he whispered.

  "What?" I asked, unsure exactly what he meant.

  "It doesn't make it better. It doesn't take the guilt away."

  Ah shit. He had given evidence against his ex-girlfriend. And he still felt trapped by the guilt.

  "I've got to try," I said on a whisper. I could hear the pain in my voice, even though the volume wasn't loud.

  "Red," he said on a heavy sigh. "I'm askin' you, please don't put yourself there."

  I almost caved. I almost did it just to get that look off his face. But those pictures flashed before my mind's eye. Her laughter that morning. Her smile, that she probably never used ever again after that day. I wiped that smile from her face. I changed her world. I wondered where she was now, if she lived, if she escaped? Would her family have sacrificed themselves to get her out? So that Roan McLaren couldn't do that to her again.

  I looked at Detective Pierce across the table from us. He'd been watching our discussion with interest and not just a little shock. How well he knew Ben, I didn't know. But from the sounds of it, they'd worked together many times. Maybe, just like the ASI team, he'd never seen Ben like this before. With a woman. Fiercely protective. Open and in a strange way, free.

  I didn't want Ben to hurt along with me, but I knew he would. He would feel my pain and it would remind him all over again of his sister's death at the hands of his ex. I didn't want that for him, but I wanted to do what was right. But what was right, was not necessarily this. If Kasey was dead, I'd do this for her, hoping it was the right thing to do. If she was alive and safe, I'd check with her first, before I dragged her into the spotlight. But how to find out if that was true? I could ask my Dad, but Pierce wasn't going to let me talk to him until this was over.

  My only option was to ask Pierce himself. Could he be trusted? Ben said he was only after one thing and to hell with how he got it. I was guessing Pierce wanted justice, but the reason behind his staunch convictions was deeper than the law, I was sure. Would it cloud his judgement?

  Pierce held my gaze, I'd been staring at him for a while. He didn't back down or look uncomfortable, he seemed quite at ease for me to assess him through my eyes alone.

  "I need an assurance," I said. "Can I trust your word?"

  Pierce flicked his eyes to Ben. "If he gives you his word, you can trust it." Ben seemed reluctant to give that information, but it let me know how much he actually did trust this man.

  "If I tell you her name, you must promise not to push her. If she doesn't want this to go further, then I won't testify. If she does, I'll back her all the way. And if she didn't survive, I will help you nail his arse to the wall. I saw other things. I'm prepared to tell."

  "Ah, fuck," Ben muttered to my side as Pierce's eyes glinted with anticipation.

  "It all hinges on you," I said.

  "If she doesn't want this to go further, what about the other evidence you can provide?" Pierce asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table, hands clenched together, I think to hide his excitement at finding more dirt on Roan McLaren.

  "Some of what I know is hearsay, so wasted evidence. Some are minor crimes, and I won't risk my neck for those. But some are pretty damning, and I witnessed it first-hand. Roan didn't know I was there to watch."

  "Did you spy on him?" Pierce asked.

  "Sometimes. Sometimes it was just bad luck. You know, wrong hiding place at the wrong time, kind of thing. But I wanted to know how he worked, what made him tick. My Dad said to study your enemy. But I don't think he meant to witness him committing crimes in order to get a better view."

  "Fucking hell, she's a gold mine of information," Pierce said, looking at Ben.

  "And you're a fuckin' bastard," Ben shot back without pause.

  He was hating this, I could tell. It was tearing him up inside. But I'd seen things, no one should have to see. And Roan McLaren had done things, no one should get away with doing. Justice was calling, and I just had to decide if I answered that call.

  If I didn't, was I as bad as him?

  "We can protect you, enter you into the witness protection programme. Give you a new identity after this is done." Pierce laughed at that irony. "One that would get you through border control legally, should you decide to see the world." He offered a small smile. "But, we're about to take down his entire rin
g. Not a single arsehole will be left standing. The fallout will be well contained."

  "Even you know prison bars are no hindrance to revenge," Ben pointed out.

  "Abi's good at hiding, Ben," Pierce replied steadily. "You said she's the best you've ever seen."

  My gaze flicked to Ben's face. He was not happy. But I couldn't help smiling. He thought I was the best.

  "Don't be so smug, red," he said, not looking at me, but keeping his eyes trained on Pierce.

  "Anyway," Pierce said, as though his next words would seal the deal, "I can't see you letting anyone touch a hair on her skin."

  "Fuckin' A," Ben said with conviction, arms crossed over chest, brows down over granite-chipped dark eyes.

  "We can make this as safe as possible. Protect her image while she gives evidence. She'd be doing it as Sarah Monaghan. You said yourself, she hasn't been Sarah Monaghan for years now. Connecting that girl to this woman would be damn near impossible," Pierce pointed out.

  "But not completely impossible. You did it," Ben bit back.

  "I got lucky," Pierce admitted. "A chance thing, no more."

  "All it takes is a little bad luck for Abi and she's done," Ben replied.

  Pierce let a long breath of air out and sat back in his seat. "All of this is just taking us round and round in useless circles. Maybe Abi's evidence isn't necessary. Maybe we've got enough to go on and it would be superfluous to our needs. Maybe it isn't damning enough to bother risking her with it."

  "You better fuckin' believe it's not," Ben interrupted, Pierce ignored him.

  "But we've got to walk this path and find out." Pierce's voice softened. "Do you want her to keep all of that filth inside and wonder if she should have piped up and got it out? Wonder if it makes her a little..."

  "Stop right there!" Ben yelled, suddenly standing up and grabbing Pierce's shirt collar, hauling the detective over the top of the table that separated us. "Don't say another word."

  But I knew what Ben was trying to protect me from. I'd already thought it. Wonder if by not saying something I was as bad as Roan.

  "Will you do what I ask?" I said to Pierce, still wrapped up in Ben's fist. He wasn't fighting him, he was simply standing there, arms loose at his sides, staring Ben down.

  "You have my word, Abi," Pierce said steadily. "I won't push her, but I will ask. As for the rest of it, if you're prepared to sit down and discuss it, we can take it from there."

  I nodded, accepting that as the best assurance I'd get. Ben released Pierce's shirt with a thrust, making the man stagger back awkwardly. He turned toward me, breathing heavily.

  "You know how I feel about this," he said, voice once again so deep and rough it was hard to decipher the words. "Let the police deal with this. Your father's already risked his neck for that piece of shit. You don't have to, he did it for you. They have enough."

  "But I'll always know," I said, reaching out and resting my hand above his heart. "Here," I whispered, and then shifted my hand up to his head, wrapping my palm around his temple. "And here. You wanted him gone from those places, then let me set those memories free."

  His face fell, his whole body shuddered, just once.

  "Fuck, red," he said almost inaudibly. "Why'd you have to be so fuckin' noble?"

  "Would you have wanted me otherwise?" He shook his head roughly and then reached out and pulled me into his embrace. I don't know what Pierce did. For just a brief moment I pretended it was just Ben and me. No cameras or microphones. No one watching. Nothing between us at all.

  In his arms, with his acceptance over something he was so set against, but I could tell he'd back me unfailingly in the end, I felt... truly alive.

  I hated that this upset him. I hated that it brought back memories he'd fought so hard to hide from. But I also had faith that together we could face anything.

  Together we could make each other free.

  Chapter 18

  Even Before I Knew It Was You

  Ben was kissing me. It was erotic and sensual and I knew, in that moment, that it was elicit as well. Cameras were in this room. He'd told me, before we climbed into bed to sleep, that when the lights were switched off they turned to infra-red vision. Still be able to capture video footage of what happened in the dark.

  It had been a warning. Don't try anything, because ASI, and maybe even Eric, would be watching it all. But he was kissing me now. And not just a light peck on the cheek, or chaste brush of his lips against mine. This was deep and hungry and completely arousing.

  For this sweet moment in time I forgot my fears of being watched. I forgot Abi Merchant would never do anything this risqué. I forgot everything except the man pressed hard against me and his hot, wet tongue devouring my mouth.

  This was bliss. This was what my life could be like, if I didn't have to run anymore. Ben was better than any dream, better than any medication induced image I could form in my mind. For once in my life reality was better than any fantasy I could conjure up.

  And I loved it.

  I craved it.

  I was lost to it and had no hope of surviving without my fix ever again.

  His hand scrunched up my hair, tipping my head to exactly where he wanted me to be for the kiss. His other hand ran down the side of my body, slipping up under the T-shirt I wore and wrapped around my naked breast. He kneaded it hard, then tweaked the nipple painfully. Following that up with a soft sweep of his thumb to soothe. The contrast of bitter and sweet sent adrenaline coursing through me, making my skin tingle and my body come alive.

  His large thigh pressed between my legs giving me the friction I so desperately needed. He drank down my moan and shifted his body further to cover mine, slipping into the cradle my legs created. I felt his hard, hot erection press into my stomach. And a corresponding wetness soak the curls between my thighs. I writhed against him, shamelessly seeking release by rubbing back against his beautiful body, while my fingers clutched his upper arms, nails digging into flesh.

  "One orgasm like this first," he whispered, in that rough, hard voice of his. "Then quietly, beneath the sheets, I'm gonna fuck you." If the sheets covered us, then the cameras would only get a hint of what was really happening.

  God yes, I could do this.

  I wanted this. I needed this. I needed him.

  "Ben," I whispered my thought.

  "Yeah, red?" he replied, right next to me ear. "What do you want?"

  You. Inside. Taking me hard. Letting me fly free.

  His hand at my breast swept down over hot feverish skin to find exactly the right spot between my thighs. One finger swept up through the folds, coating himself in my moisture. He groaned in my ear, rubbed his erection against my stomach and then delved that finger deep inside. Right to his knuckle, then stopped.

  I was panting, arching my back, offering myself up for him to devour. He didn't disappoint. His lips wrapped around a nipple over the material of my shirt, then his finger began to flick and swirl inside. His thumb found my nub and started up a pace of gentle sweeping across the bundle of nerves, setting my body alight. I felt the pull at my breast, the small nip of teeth at my nipple, and then he pulled out his finger and replaced it with his cock.

  Holy shit. He'd said one like this first, then he'd fuck me beneath the sheets. And oh, dear God, he felt good. Thick and hard and stretching me deliciously wide.

  "Fuck, red. Couldn't wait," he groaned out above me as he slowly sank further and further in.

  Each glide out sent desolation through me, to only be replaced with elation as he pushed himself back in. Inch by torturous inch he made more progress inside, stretching, filling, taking all of me as I took all of him.

  He was amazing, perfect. He fitted me in every way. I writhed beneath him, arched my body, wrapped my legs around his waist and met him thrust to thrust. His breath expelled across my cheek, his teeth nipped at my ear and the scent of his cologne engulfed me. Completely drew me under.

  "Look at me," he demanded in a husky whisper.


  My eyes sprang open, confirming this was real, this was what being alive actually felt like. I could see the dark granite colour of his eyes, even in the dimness of the room. I could smell his minty fresh breath from the toothpaste he'd used before climbing into bed. I could feel the hardness of his body, matching the softness of mine. Every dip he filled. Every curve, he wrapped expertly around.

  "That's it," he breathed out above me, rocking his hips slowly, rhythmically against my core. Filling me, consuming me, claiming me. "Fuck, red. You're a fuckin' turn-on."

  I nodded. Right then my entire body was lit up from within. I had never been so aroused as right now. Knowing cameras recorded everything, knowing Ben couldn't keep his hands off me, his cock out of me, even with the chance of being caught hanging over our heads. He needed me as much as I needed him.

  He reached down and grasped my leg, behind my thigh and then lifted it out and up. The angle making him go deeper. He let a little moan out, then followed it up with an erotic sounding grunt as his thrusts increased. The pace beginning to take on a sense of urgency that matched my need to come.

  "So good," he muttered above me. "So fuckin' worth it," he groaned as his head fell down and his panting breath washed over my naked chest.

  Somehow I'd lost my T-shirt, I didn't remember losing that. But I was grateful for it. The sensation of his hard smooth chest brushing against the skin of my naked breasts was invigorating. I moaned loudly, received a swat on my butt cheek as warning and then his mouth covered mine to ensure I didn't make any more loud sounds.

  I was in heaven, but I wasn't going to last. This was too good. Too sensational. I wanted to let go. I wanted Ben to let go with me.

  "Ben," I breathed into his mouth. His tongue took advantage of the opening and delved inside, sweeping expertly around my mouth, then somehow positioning my tongue to be sucked hard into his mouth.

  Oh shit, I could come just by kissing this man, but he was doing more than just kissing right now. His thrusts were timed to perfection, synchronised to each suck of my tongue in his mouth. The hand that had been holding my leg high and wide, slid down the inside of my thigh, sending shockwaves of delicious sensations through my entire body.