by Jaime Reese
Matt wasn't sure if it was, in fact, a desire to be praised by Julian or if smashing the wall was suddenly the best outlet for his epic level of frustration, but one swing on his own, and suddenly, another hole appeared. After repeated swings, Matt managed to take down the wall on his own while Julian smiled.
That was the first day.
On day two, Matt could barely move his arms and the muscles in his back and shoulders screamed from the pain.
"You okay?" Julian asked.
Matt nodded. No way was he going to admit his body was completely pained while he watched Julian prepare for a second day of work without a single flinch of discomfort.
"How about you take a break today? Here are the specs for the windows. Can you call in the orders while I do the demo? That way, they'll be here by the time I've got all the walls ready for the wiring."
Matt looked at the sheet Julian had ripped out of his notebook detailing the measurements and descriptions of the windows for the order. He tried, but damn, this shit was hard and painful as hell. Resigned, he took the sheet and sighed, trying to ignore the strain in his muscles at reaching for the paper.
"Matt?"
He looked up into Julian's gaze. "It's hard work. I'm surprised you're even functional today. I'm impressed."
Matt felt his chest swell at the praise. Even if Julian was simply humoring him, it was nice to receive some acknowledgement for the effort. "Thanks," he responded with a weak smile before retreating to his office to place the order for the windows.
"So how are things going?" Sam asked, cutting into his memory of the day before.
"Huh?" he prompted, still lost in his recollection.
"Your builder guy. Is he working out?" Sam asked.
"He's been working pretty much non-stop since he started with the demolition, prepping everything according to the plans."
"How's that going?" Sam asked before a crash echoed throughout the open windows of the second floor. Sam immediately pushed off his perch against the wall, obvious concern colored his expression.
Matt shook his head. "He's fine. He told me to worry if everything got silent." Another crash reverberated above followed by a ripe curse.
"Did he buy the office excuse?" Sam asked.
Matt shook his head. "I couldn't tell him. I was worried he'd walk out on the job."
"Is he an ass?" Sam asked with a hardened expression. Usually one to just go-with-the-flow and focus on the positive, he could easily transform into a fierce protector when one of his boys was not granted respect.
Sam was the father figure most of the guys wished they'd had growing up. He was attentive to what was needed, thoughtful in his advice, and always available. He never failed to see the potential in his assigned group of inmates. He was usually appointed those who were most lost, broken, or misguided. He'd once told Matt that, sometimes, people just needed a little bit of a nudge, a tiny point in the proper direction to get them going on the right path. He always did this by treating each of his charges with respect, something most had lost along the way.
He'd once shared with Matt how much he longed for a house full of kids who would later grow and give him grandchildren he could spoil endlessly. But since his wife, whom he had loved since kindergarten, died several years ago, he couldn't imagine building a family with anyone else. As a result, he referred to his group of assigned inmates as 'his boys'. Matt always used to laugh when the man treating him as a son would get so protective. After his friend Liam's death, Matt finally understood how critical Sam was to his support system. More ex-cons needed people like Sam to provide guidance and encouragement in their lives.
Matt shook his head. "He didn't push. He knows I lied. Apparently, I suck at it."
"You do," Sam said with a laugh. He looked at Matt appraisingly. "It's a good idea. Don't second-guess yourself."
Matt remained quiet, his mind wandering to a benchmark he didn't want to ponder. "It's going to be a year in a few weeks," he mumbled, knowing Sam would understand the impact of the impending anniversary of Liam's death.
"I know," Sam commented quietly.
Both remained silent for some time, Sam would know where Matt's mind had gone.
Liam was young, vibrant and full of life. He'd chatter endlessly each night with Matt about plans for the future, and why he had ended up in prison. Liam had embezzled funds from the family business to support his gambling habit. He felt they had turned him in as a means of intervention, to teach him a lesson and set him on the right path. He was sentenced to five years but had been released after four. At twenty-five, Liam left prison with a promise to write each week and a smile on his face.
Matt knew something was wrong when the letters stopped after Liam's release. But no one would listen or care about an ex-con who had gone silent. No one but Sam. He listened to Matt's worry and took it upon himself to find Liam. Days transitioned into weeks as Liam remained absent and Sam persistently continued his search. Not even his probation officer had heard from him and didn't have the time to focus on one lost ex-con in his stack of cases.
A few weeks before his own release, Sam had pulled Matt aside and had given him a status on Liam. His family had not taken him back in so he had been forced to live on the streets—no home, no work, no money. According to the police report Sam found, Liam had been beaten and left for dead after a dispute with a group of homeless men over a discarded bin of food. Liam's last moments were painful and alone on the streets. The grief for his friend hardened his resolve and set his direction on how to make things right. Liam had been discarded by his family, just as he had, and a random idea discussed during endless hours of bedtime chatter planted the seed of how to make things right and fulfill a promise.
He shook his head to try and dispel the bitter memories.
"Are you going to introduce me to your new contractor or are you going to keep him all to yourself?"
Sam really had no idea how tempting it was to do just that. Another crash echoed throughout the building.
"I'm going to go meet him so I can identify him in the rubble," Sam commented before entering the house.
Matt grabbed a bottled water from the cooler before ushering Sam up the stairs. Once they arrived on the second level, Matt was surprised to see the amount of light flooding through the large open area. The walls were stripped to the support beams, exposing a network of wires and pipes throughout. The floors were stripped and the worn carpets were rolled in the corners of the space.
Matt looked up to see Julian standing on a ladder, shirtless, his slim waist and tight abs shifted as his wider upper body stretch into the ceiling area.
"I'm up here," Matt said.
"Stand back," Julian announced loudly before a section of the ceiling began to shake, then crashed to the floor from the force of Julian's pull on the material. Julian climbed down the ladder as the plume of dust settled.
"Hey," Julian said when he turned to Matt and Sam.
Matt didn't think he had ever seen a more beautiful sight. Julian's broad smile contrasted against his golden, sweat-slicked face. His broad, muscled, exposed chest glistened. Matt lowered his gaze, following a drop of sweat traveling down the dips and curves of Julian's muscles and through the sprinkle of his treasure trail before it was absorbed into the waistband of his worn, low rise jeans. His mind flooded with visions of following that same path down Julian's torso with his tongue. His semiarousal became painful as he admired the perfectly crafted physique that stood before him. He looked up and Julian's crystal green eyes sparked with mischief. Matt blinked and looked away, then walked over to the window and put the bottled water on the sill.
"Samuel Isaacs," Sam said, extending his hand in greeting.
Julian wiped his palms on his jeans then shook Sam's offered hand. "Julian Capeletti," he responded with a grin.
"Sam's a friend," Matt interjected.
Julian's smile didn't flinch but his eyes flickered with something Matt didn't recognize. He wasn't sure why he felt the n
eed to clarify his relationship with Sam, but he didn't want Julian to think otherwise.
He took a deep breath when he realized what he had done then absently ran his hands through his hair yet again.
I'm losing it.
Chapter 7
Friend? Friend, my ass.
Julian wasn't sure if it was a past relationship, but it was obvious there was something more than a simple friendship there. Sam wasn't a bad looking guy. A bit older than Matt, possibly mid-forties, but there was something about his eyes that made you want to sit and tell him your life story. Sam wasn't Julian's type, but if the guy was Matt's preference, then Julian didn't stand half a chance.
Fuck.
The sudden stab of anger came out of nowhere. This older guy with the let's talk warm brown eyes and slightly curling hair didn't look so good to him anymore.
He stopped smiling as he released Sam's hand.
"It's amazing the difference it makes just removing that wall," Matt said in awe. He was either completely oblivious to the thoughts that ran through Julian's mind, hopefully, or he was trying to change the subject.
"Yeah, it's not needed for structural support so having it there is just killing the light."
"I can't get over how much you've done in the first few days," Sam said as he looked around the room and down the hall.
"I'm trying to get the water and power up as fast as possible," Julian said, eyeing Matt who ran his hands through his hair repeatedly.
"You were right, Matt, he is the right guy," Sam said with a smile as he looked over to his friend.
Matt's cheeks flushed with color. He must have realized he was messing with his hair because he shoved both hands in his pockets then looked down, probably to hide the deeper red that was burning his face and now ears.
"Uh, yeah," he said quietly then looked up at Julian with the oddest expression on his face.
Julian couldn't place exactly what that look meant, but it was enough to make him smile again and feel his jeans suddenly become just a little bit tighter. He couldn't take his eyes away from Matt. The tousled hair, flushed cheeks; Julian wondered if this was what Matt looked like after sex. Damn, he looks good. Matt gave him a tiny smile and suddenly Julian wished he wasn't covered in dust and sweat with an employee-employer thing going and someone else in the room. Fuck.
Sam cleared his throat and broke the moment. "Well, I'm glad to see Matt's in good hands."
"Yeah," Julian said with his voice a little hoarser than expected.
"I'll let you get back to work," Matt said with a tentative smile before making his way out of the room with Sam.
Julian couldn't stop looking at Matt as he walked away.
"Oh shit," Matt turned abruptly, grabbed the bottled water from the window sill and handed it to Julian. "I forgot."
"Thanks," Julian said softly as he slowly reached for the bottle. Their fingers brushed slightly and Julian felt a current travel down his body straight to his balls and up his spine, making his neck and head tingle.
Matt just stood there looking at him and Julian couldn't help doing the same. His eyes never left Matt's as he wrapped his lips around the bottle and took a swig. He could see the color rise again in Matt's cheeks.
"How are you feeling?" Julian asked. "Your arms still hurting?"
"Better. Uh, I'll let you get back to it," Matt said, finally breaking the silence. "If you need some help with anything, just holler."
"Will do," he said with a half smile as Matt left the room.
Julian took another sip of his water and ran the cold bottle against his forehead then the back of his neck. He needed to keep it together. Matt unsettled him to the point where he had a hard time keeping himself in check. Speaking of hard… "Down boy," he muttered as he pressed his palm to the front of his jeans.
He put the water on the window sill and continued with his work. He needed to find a way to detach, to keep it business as usual. The problem was he didn't want to. After his little sledgehammer swing session with Matt, he was screwed. Now he knew how it felt to be pressed against Matt's body. He wanted to know what it felt like to run his fingers through Matt's hair, pin Matt's body against his and anything else, a bed, a wall—he didn't care. Just anything to feel the pressure of Matt's body against his again to see if Matt would get that same flustered look Julian was becoming addicted to. He tried to shake off the visual forming in his mind. He needed to distance himself. His head was telling him one thing and every other cell in his body screamed otherwise.
"I'm so fucked," he said as he grabbed the sledgehammer and began to smash into the remaining section of the standing wall.
* * * *
"Do you need me to check up on you more often?" Sam asked in a teasing tone on his way out the front door.
Matt tried to look surprised. "What are you talking about?" He was unable to meet Sam's eyes.
"It's kinda obvious," Sam said softly.
Sam's consoling hand on his shoulder couldn't ease his embarrassment.
"Ugh, I've got a problem, Sam," he said and hid his face in his hands.
"Hey, it's okay. It's been a while so it might be a good thing. Besides, I'm getting the feeling it's mutual so I think it's a good thing."
Matt quickly removed his hands and looked at Sam as a hint of hope began to rise in him. "You think?"
Sam laughed. "Yeah, man. Totally."
Matt smiled. "I figured he was gay, but I didn't think he was attracted to me." He looked at Sam thoughtfully. "What did I miss?" he asked the always insightful Sam.
Sam just shook his head. "You know, sometimes you boys just shock the hell out of me and try to find some deeper mystery when things are right there in front of you. As plain as the nose on your face," he said as he tapped Matt's nose with his finger for emphasis.
Matt looked at him and began to get frustrated. He couldn't figure it out. He'd known Julian now for a few days, and sure, they'd had a few unusual moments but those had been in the early hours with the initial power struggle between them. Here he was, hoping Julian was at least a tiny bit attracted to him, but he didn't have a clue. Yet Sam was so positive, certain, the attraction was mutual.
"What the fuck did I miss?" he asked, following Sam to his car.
Sam laughed as he sat in the driver's seat. He just shook his head and said, "It's mutual, Matt. The both of you couldn't hide your hard-ons if you tried."
Matt just stood there in the middle of the street for a moment after Sam drove away. How could he have missed that? Damn. He walked back toward the house with his mind racing. It did seem as if something had passed between them upstairs just a little while ago. When Sam had made that comment about Julian being the right guy, it had almost sounded as if Sam was implying something else. When Matt looked up and saw Julian's gaze on him, he couldn't help but smile. He had been so mesmerized by Julian's stare he hadn't realized he was standing in the middle of the room staring until Sam had cleared his throat.
Then the water. Shit. When their fingers had brushed, a surge of heat traveled like a tidal wave throughout his body. Julian's gaze was as steady as his. But when he'd wrapped his lips around the bottle to take a drink, all Matt could imagine was Julian wrapping his lips around something else, and it sure as hell wasn't a water bottle. He'd needed to leave the room before he lost his composure and did something completely different than keeping it business.
Another crash came from upstairs. He stood there, debating if he should go up and help. He entered the house and started to make his way to the stairs but stopped. This situation had to stay professional. He closed his eyes as he battled with himself, a white-knuckle grip on the railing kept him in place. He finally let out the breath he was holding, opened his eyes, and released the railing. He looked up one last time before turning around and heading to his makeshift office.
He had to finish this place. For Liam, his aunt, and himself. He needed to regain control of his life and define who Matt Doner was. He'd left the old self behind the da
y his freedom returned and he had changed his last name. The question was…who was he going to become? That should be his focus right now. Building this halfway house was important, and he was going to make sure he didn't screw this up by going after the one builder who was willing to work on his terms.
He was determined to get this renovation completed within the year. He wanted it finished by around this time next year in memory of Liam. With a renewed sense of responsibility, he sat at his desk and started running the numbers on the various accounts and estimates. He was going to do this and put everything else aside that would inhibit the completion of the renovation. Even if what he was putting aside was upstairs and possibly mutual.
* * * *
Within the first week, Julian had managed to get follow-up permits, fix the two patches in the roof, and replace the broken windows. With power in a portion of the house, he could finally plug in a few lamps and fans. Never had Matt appreciated electricity more than when he was able to walk around in the evening without stumbling over the uneven floor or getting splinters in his hands from a rough edge he couldn't see. The combination of electricity and running water…well, hell, it felt as if he had won the lottery. He wasn't sure how Julian had managed to do it all within a week, but one thing was certain, when Julian was determined, it was damn near impossible to find a more dedicated person.
Since Sam had mentioned the potential mutual situation, Matt started noticing a few details. How Julian's gaze lingered a little longer than usual and how he smiled at him every time Matt ran his fingers through his hair. He tried to keep their conversations short and businesslike, but sometimes he just wanted to linger and be around Julian. They'd occasionally take a break down to the coffee shop or simply sit and relax for a few minutes in the backyard. They talked about the renovation's progress and what was next on the agenda. Even though they kept their chats to the construction, never discussing anything personal, it was causal, nice. There was something comforting about being in Julian's presence. He was no longer intimidating, rather he had a calming effect. Matt felt safer than he had for some time. He felt he could be himself.