by Jaime Reese
"Morning," Matt said as he entered the room.
"Hey," Julian said and cursed himself…again…for forgetting the measurement he'd just taken a half dozen times.
"Need help?" Matt mumbled as he pushed his hands in his pockets.
"Uh, yeah," he said, walking over to the opening and stretching out the measuring tape. "Help me take a few measurements here."
"Okay," Matt said, grabbing the end of the metal sleeve. "Do you still need my help with the support beams?"
"Nah. I already sistered all the beams yesterday so everything is supported. I've got an architect buddy coming over today to make sure nothing else requires structural support before I work on the insulation."
"Sorry, I wasn't here to help. Ninety-nine and a quarter," he called out before releasing the sleeve.
"Remember that measurement, please."
Matt nodded. "Um, about yesterday—"
Julian rubbed his head. "Yeah, about that. I know you want to keep it business and I'm sorry I crossed the line."
"I shouldn't have snapped at you before leaving."
"Why were you upset?" Julian asked, casually resting his crossed arms on the wood stud.
"I thought we were going to keep it business?" Matt said with a sad smile.
"You could ignore me or tell me to mind my own business."
"But that would be rude."
Julian smiled. "I know. You're not rude."
Matt gave another one of his deer-in-headlights looks. "That was a joke?"
"Not a joke, but there was supposed to be a little humor in there. We're going to have to work on that."
Matt nodded and ran his fingers through his non-existent hair out of a force of habit.
"What drove you to cut your hair?"
Matt looked up; he had obviously been lost in thought. "It was long and it's just too hot. I actually thought about shaving my head like you."
Julian actually felt his heart sink into his stomach. "Don't."
Matt quirked his lips and tucked his hands in his pockets. "That was a joke."
"Jokes are supposed to be funny."
"I think I'd look pretty funny with a shaved head."
"We seriously need to work on your sense of humor."
Matt shuffled some of the sawdust on the floor. "I was on the phone with my mom. She calls me once a month and whenever she does, it just…yeah…doesn't ever really go well. It's complicated."
"Family can be tough," Julian mumbled, grabbing the two-by-four and taking it to the circular saw.
"Yeah, she can make me a bit crazy sometimes."
"Crazy enough to cut your hair," Julian said, glaring at Matt before lowering his safety glasses. "What was that measurement?"
"Huh? I don't remember."
Julian couldn't hold in the laugh.
"Really, I don't remember," Matt said, running his fingers through his absent hair again.
"I've measured the damn thing so many times already and I can't remember it either," he said with a half smile.
"Oh." Matt kept shuffling his feet, looking as if he didn't really know what to say. "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"
Julian lifted his safety glasses and looked at Matt intensely. "Seeing you with the short hair made me lose a little control. I'm sorry about that."
"You're sorry you kissed me," Matt said quietly, avoiding eye contact.
"I regret crossing the line you've clearly defined and not doing as you asked. But I don't regret kissing you."
Matt finally looked up, his blue eyes filled with hundreds of questions. "You don't?"
"Do you regret it?"
Matt shook his head. "I was just caught off guard is all. I didn't really know what to do."
"Seemed like you knew what you were doing." Julian chuckled when he saw the color rush to Matt's cheeks. "How about the next time that happens, I give you a little bit of warning so you're not caught off guard?"
"Next time?"
Julian couldn't help the intense stare he was giving Matt. He looked so fucking cute with that confused expression on his face. "You don't want a next time?"
"I didn't say that," Matt mumbled then ran his hand along his hair again. "If you don't need me up here, I'm going to work on the budget stuff."
"Hey, Matt?" Julian said, stopping Matt before he left the room.
"Yeah?"
"Don't cut your hair so short the next time. You should keep it at least grip length."
Matt looked at him wide-eyed then nodded quickly before exiting the room.
Julian smiled. He wasn't sure when another chance would come to kiss Matt, but he'd take it if the opportunity presented itself. He snatched the measuring tape and measured again for the partition size. He grabbed the wood and smiled when he finally sawed through the stud at the right measurement.
Chapter 9
August
Matt tried to ignore the insistent text messages.
"Texts usually stop if you answer them," Julian said as he picked up the sheet of drywall.
"We're working," Matt said, lifting his end of the sheet as another text message alert chirped. They dropped the last of the sheets into the room just as another beep came from his phone.
"I've got this. Go ahead and deal with whatever you need to deal with. I don't want you distracted while we're working," Julian said as he sliced the first sheet of drywall with the blade.
Matt nodded and left the room with his cell phone in hand. He scrolled through the dozen messages from his brother. The last one mentioning an impromptu visit to the condo pushed him to dial the number.
"Why the hell are you avoiding me, Matt?" Alex said, skipping over any niceties.
"I'm not avoiding you. I was busy and couldn't answer your call or text."
"Well, I'm coming by the condo tonight so I'll see you then. I want you to meet someone."
"I'm not there anymore. I figured Mom would have told you—"
"I don't talk to Mom unless I have to, Matt. You know that."
Matt sighed and looked upward, hoping for a shot of patience to continue the conversation. He had given up everything in hopes of Alex repairing his relationship with their parents, not for it to grow farther apart. He was supposed to be the ideal son while Matt took the blame for the fuck ups.
"Alex, you need to try with Mom. You need to—"
"I don't want to talk about Mom. I met someone. I really want you to meet her. If you're not at the condo, give me the address of the new place and we'll come to you."
"My place is going through renovations so how about we meet at Alessiomano's instead?"
"That's the place on Flagler, right?"
"Yeah, that one. How about eight?"
Alessiomano's was a family owned, quaint restaurant that was quiet and allowed for conversation without screaming over children or crowds of people. He wanted Alex to straighten up his act but he never thought his brother would actually settle down with someone. He couldn't deny his piqued curiosity.
He finished the call and rejoined Julian who had already managed to cover two sides of the room with drywall. Julian watched him with interest but didn't push or ask questions. He rarely ever did.
They continued to quietly work for another hour until Julian decided to break for a supply run to the hardware store.
While Julian shopped for supplies, Matt grabbed a sandwich and drink for his lunch break. He sat on the back porch and took a bite of his sandwich while his mind raced with thoughts of seeing Alex again. He hadn't seen Alex in almost four years, and he was anxious, hopeful his brother had used that time to focus on becoming a better man rather than spiraling further with guilt. But he wouldn't kid himself, he was nervous as hell and couldn't do this alone, so he called the one person he thought could help him during this time.
"Hey there," Sam answered on the first ring. "How are the renos going with Mr. Pound-me-with-a-hammer?"
Matt laughed. "Things are going well. Do you have plans tonight?"
"I'm veggi
ng out on the couch and I have a date with a comedy lineup. What's up?"
"Alex met someone and he wants me to meet her. So we're meeting up for dinner tonight at Alessiomano's. Can you come?"
"I take it Alex didn't invite me. What's going on, Matt?"
Matt fidgeted. Asking Sam to come with him was a low blow. Sam's paternal instincts caused him to be overly protective and he wasn't thrilled about the sacrifice Matt had made for his brother—an opinion Sam didn't hesitate to express when he went out of his way to meet Alex while Matt was in prison. Now, with someone else in Alex's life, the potential of another person knowing the truth of what had really happened, yeah, it was no wonder Sam didn't jump at the chance to join him.
"I don't want to be the lonely guy there. I just need a little support. I'm not really sure how things are going to go and I haven't seen Alex in so long, I'm just…I don't know," he finished with a deep exhale.
"What about Julian? Did you ask him?"
"No. I don't want to involve him in my family stuff." Matt absently ran his hand through his slowly growing hair. He wasn't going to deny he was growing his hair for Julian. The thought of Julian running his fingers through Matt's hair or gripping it during a heated kiss had him half-hard. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on between them, but he didn't want to ruin it by poisoning a potential blooming relation with the toxicity of his family.
"Okay. I'll pick you up," Sam responded, as friendly and enthusiastic as always.
Arrangements made, Matt pocketed his cell and tried not to think about family for the next few hours.
* * * *
Matt arrived at the restaurant and immediately saw Alex sitting in a corner booth with a beautiful woman with long, flowing dark hair. He paused for a moment when his brother smiled widely before whispering something in the woman's ear. It was the first time in too many years he had seen Alex look happy.
"We can't stand here forever," Sam said, nudging him. "Just put one foot in front of the other and lean forward a bit. That'll get you going."
"You're worse than he is."
"Who?"
"Never mind," Matt said, running his fingers through his hair.
Alex stood as Matt approach, his smile faltered slightly when he looked over Matt's shoulder and saw Sam. To his credit, he tried to maintain the positive façade as best he could.
"Hi," Matt said, extending his hand in greeting to his brother.
Alex pulled him in for a hug. "I've missed you, man."
Matt tightened his hold on his brother. "Me, too. You look good."
Alex stepped away then looked over to Sam again, the smile slowly slipping. "Sam."
"Hi, Alex," Sam said in his usual cordial tone as he shook Alex's hand.
"I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Lindy," Alex said, reaching for her then wrapping his arm around her waist when she rose from her seat. She stood tall and proud next to Alex, her hand reaching up behind his shoulder to casually stroke him.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lindy," Matt said, shaking her offered hand. "This is Sam. He's a friend of mine."
They took their seats in the booth when the waiter arrived. Matt smiled at Alex's refusal to the offered wine. His brother had never actually been sober in a social setting since he discovered Dad's whiskey on his thirteenth birthday. Matt assumed it was how Alex coped with everything at home. He knew far too well how exhausting it was to live in the shadow of the Collings-Lloyd name.
"You look surprised," Alex said with a grin. "I told you I would quit. I've been sober now for four years and six months."
Lindy reached for Alex's hand which he squeezed tightly.
"He's told me how much he used to drink. He stays in touch with his sponsor and goes to meetings," she said, brushing away a stray hair from Alex's face. She looked over to Matt and her green eyes held a fire of determination. "He won't go back to drinking. He has no desire to touch the bottle at all and we owe that to you and what you did for him."
Alex reached over and pecked her on the cheek, earning him her focus and a smile.
"Excuse me," she said, rising from her seat then making her way to the restroom.
"I'm proud of you, Alex," Matt said, looking at his brother's vivid blue eyes absent of the glaze of alcohol.
"Thanks, Matt," Alex said, sighing deeply. "You have no idea how much that means to me."
"You told her about what Matt did?" Sam asked.
Alex looked over to Sam in disbelief. "I don't want to lie to her—"
"How long have you been with her? How serious is this?"
"Why the hell is he here?" Alex said to Matt.
"Alex, he's a friend and you know he's been there for me during all this. Please."
Alex threw his napkin on the table and stretched out. "I've been with her for almost two years. She makes it easier for me to be the guy Matt wants me to be…and the guy I want to be. She's important to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. That's why I proposed to her yesterday. So yes, Sam, it's serious."
"If anyone knew Matt had lied about your role in all this—"
"Stop, please," Matt said then sat back in his chair. It was too much information to digest at once. Seeing his brother after so long was difficult, but hearing he'd been seeing someone now for a while without him knowing was almost too tough to bear. Even through Alex's drunkenness, they had always been each other's support. And now, here they were, two completely different men, changed for different reasons. Alex finally had a chance at a life with a partner who loved him free from the baggage that had followed them for far too long.
"What if they break up, Matt? If she—"
"No, Sam, I don't want him hiding. They're getting married. He needs to be honest with her about himself."
Sam shook his head. "Matt, you spent five years of your life in there. Do you want to run the risk of going back in for perjury? What if she says something to someone? That's going to ruin you?"
"I realize you don't know me," Lindy said, her voice steady and low as she moved to take her seat in the booth. "But you need to know, without question, I love Alex and would never hurt or betray him. He loves Matt more than you can imagine and wants to rebuild their relationship. I would appreciate the chance to be a part of helping that happen because I know how much that would mean to him."
"And me," Matt said.
Alex looked over to Matt and his stunned look softened. He visibly relaxed in the seat when Matt smiled at Lindy.
Throughout dinner, he saw a different Alex, one who was happy, loved, and who laughed openly. When they left, Matt was at peace. Finally, it seemed his brother was on the right path to love and a future without the negative influences of their family or the aloofness the bottle seemed to cause. He was grounded, certain of his future with Lindy and his steady position at a reputable financial firm.
Sam turned off the engine when they arrived to the house and sat quietly in the car.
"Don't fight me on this, Sam. I know you're worried—"
"I like her."
Matt removed his seat belt and turned toward Sam. "Me, too." He smiled then looked through the front windshield to the lighted second floor of the house. Sam followed his gaze.
"It's late. He's still working?"
"He usually works really late. I try to get him to quit early sometimes but he's adamant about the deadlines," he said, still looking through the window, hoping the absence of construction noise meant Julian had finally stopped working for the night.
"You know, your brother seems like he's got things sorted in his life."
"Yeah, he does," Matt said, leaning back in the seat.
"Maybe you should too?" Sam said with a raised eyebrow.
"I am. The halfway house is on schedule—"
"I'm referring to this thing between you guys," Sam said with a chin up gesture to the house.
Matt ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what this thing is." He knew there was something brewing between them, but he also kne
w Julian was private and reserved most of the time. He held onto the promise of another kiss each time they worked closely.
"Matt, you need to do something for yourself for once in your life."
Matt turned again in his seat and paused when Sam held up a quieting hand.
"I'm not talking about the house. That's something you're doing for yourself, yes, and it's a wonderful thing that's going to help a lot of people. But it's also something you want to do for your aunt and Liam. I want you to do something for you. I want you to live your life for yourself, not as atonement to others. There's nothing selfish about that." Sam pointed to the house. "And if he makes you happy, then stop overthinking."
Matt turned away but his gaze absently wandered to the second floor again. "I don't want to push whatever this thing is between us. I'm taking things slow and following his cues."
"Maybe he's doing the same thing."
Matt shrugged. He didn't want to risk extinguishing the fire he felt sparking between them.
"You okay?"
Matt nodded. "Thanks for coming with me."
Sam laughed. "I'm always available for a free dinner. Give me a call next week, I think I might have your first resident."
"Yeah?"
"He still has some time in his term, but I'm trying to pull some strings to see if I can get him out a little earlier. I want to have a talk about his placement once I have more information on whether I can get the request for early release. I'm running into a few hurdles, so I figure the timing will work out with your grand opening."
"Okay, just let me know," Matt said before opening his door. "Thanks again."
Sam drove away with a wave goodbye. Matt turned to face the house and shoved his hands in his pockets then looked up. The breath left his lungs when he saw Julian outlined by the light, staring out the window and down at him. They stood, gazes locked on each other for a few moments until finally Julian squared his shoulders and stepped away from the window.