“I can’t understand why you don’t seem to like her, Zoe.”
“She’s so caring, and so beautiful. I feel she really understands me. I want to listen to her and look at her all day.”
Zoe skilfully fielded these remarks, whilst managing to appear composed. But with every response she made, she felt she was sinking into a deep, sticky marshland. Natasha herself Zoe couldn’t seem to pin down. Whenever Zoe tried to find her alone for a few words, she was nowhere to be seen.
Without Alice, Zoe remained unsupported and with no-one else to validate her opinion; it came as a shock to realise how much she needed Alice to reassure her that she was seeing things correctly, and wasn’t going into psychosis herself. She rubbed her throat as she thought this. She must do something about Natasha soon: but what?
The phone rang and she snatched it up to hear Leila’s voice again, sounding tearful.
“Zoe, it’s Leila.”
Zoe’s heart began to pound again.
“Leila! What news of Alice?”
“None. I’ve just finished speaking to the Missing Persons Co-ordinator, Carol. Very nice lady.”
Zoe could tell Leila was trying to keep an iron grip on her emotions. She, too, fought the urge to panic.
“Carol told me Alice’s mobile number has been ‘pinged’ but her mobile found to be dead,” said Leila.
Her voice faded away. Zoe sensed her wrestling with her fears, as she herself began to visualise the worst that might have happened to Alice.
“Alice’s bank account has been checked,” said Leila. “The police have obtained a live trace on her card and checked out her Facebook and Twitter profiles for any clues. And they’ve loaded her photo onto their database.”
“So what happens next?”
“They’ll contact local press, feature her on their website, and contact Radio Gloucester.”
Zoe bit her lip and tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. The police were doing their very best, but it still all seemed so slow to her.
“I’m frightened, Zoe,” whispered Leila.
Zoe remained silent.
Later, having not managed to eat much at lunch, Zoe excused herself to the guests who were still sitting chatting over their fruit course, and went to prepare the barn ready for that afternoon’s workshop. She felt the best way right now to deal with her fears about Alice was to keep busy. She found that Griff had already done most of her work for her, and was finished in five minutes. That gave her quarter of an hour before she needed to be back in the office. She decided to take Vito for a quick walk. They walked up the driveway, across the car park and out through the gate on the west perimeter, to climb the steep side of the valley until she reached the public footpath at the top. There was an icy bite in the air today and she wore a warm jacket and scarf.
Halfway up the wooded slope, she felt an urge to turn and look back down towards the farmhouse and barn. Through the bare branches of the field maples, she could see down beyond the woodland fence and across the wide lawn to the goose house.
There she spotted Theo and Natasha, strolling along the path together. She stiffened. Vito looked up at Zoe and then nudged her side with his nose.
Zoe’s eyes sharpened. Natasha had laid her hand on Theo’s arm. Theo stopped and turned towards her. He was gazing into her face. Zoe held her breath, expecting him to kiss her. But it didn’t happen. They continued walking along the path into the goose house.
Zoe’s heart pounded against her ribcage.
She watched as they disappeared into the goose house.
Vito jumped up at Zoe with anxious eyes, pawing her arm. She plunged her face into her hands. Returning to all-fours, Vito nosed at her side and whined. She dropped her hands to her side and gazed down at him.
“Vito,” she said urgently, “Natasha’s evil. Alice was always right about her. I don’t believe her healings will last. But no-one will listen to me. Alice would have done, but she’s gone.”
Tears trickled down her face. Wiping them away, she strode along the path back to the centre, Vito bounding at her side, both filled with new energy. She was determined to confront Theo. She’d face him with the truth.
Zoe caught up with Theo on the path which ran past the barn.
“Theo, this can’t go on,” she gasped.
He turned and looked at her. “Look, let’s go back here behind the barn. Then no guests will see us.”
She followed him onto the wide lawn, talking as she went. “
We must deal with Natasha, fast.”
“How do you mean?” He swung to face her.
“You should be the first person to suggest something. I’ve seen you alone with her several times now.” Zoe slapped her hand against the trunk of a nearby pine tree, making her palm tingle and sending shooting pains down her arm. She quickly withdrew her hand and flexed her fingers. “Natasha’s so sweet, so perfect, in the eyes of all our guests and staff. I hear nothing but how caring she is, how spiritual, even how holy. And these so-called ‘healings’: I believe they’re false, and those she ‘heals’ put themselves into her power. And when it came to you, Theo, I’m sure she cursed you. And she only lifted the curse when it suited her.”
“Come on, Zoe,” he said, seizing her hands and gazing at her. “You can’t expect me to take this seriously. It’s way over the top.”
“No, it isn’t,” she said, snatching her hands away and putting them on her hips. “I’m dead serious, Theo. And I do wonder if she’s even normal flesh and blood.”
“Oh, she’s that, all right,” he said with a misjudged smile.
Zoe froze. “Theo, what exactly are you suggesting?”
Theo’s eyes, normally a gentle grey, now looked black. He grasped her by both shoulders.
“Zoe, you’re running wild. Don’t say things you’ll regret later.”
“Regret?” With a violent twist, she shook herself free of him.
“Zoe, listen to me!” He gripped her again. She tried to pull away, but this time he held on. She hoped no guests would walk round the south-east corner of the barn.
“Let go, Theo. Listen, it’s clear Jessica doesn’t trust you and she’s asked you to leave. And now I’m beginning to understand why. We can’t carry on like this in our marriage. When we leave here, I want us to separate.”
He let go of her, a shocked expression on his face.
“Zoe, Zoe…” he cried.
She hurried away in the direction of the house, leaving him stunned.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Zoe looked up from her PC the following morning, Friday, as James walked through the office doorway. The clock said nine. Zoe was acutely aware that Alice should now be heading for her appointment with the casting director in Covent Garden. Her agent would have withdrawn her name and, most likely, some other actress would be on her way to the audition, rejoicing that the coveted part was likely to fall into her hands instead. Zoe clenched her fists and her stomach churned when she allowed her imagination free rein on what might have happened to Alice. She could even have lost her memory and perhaps forgotten who she was. She might be found wandering around somewhere, lost. And yet… surely at least her car would be identified sometime soon?
Yesterday, Zoe had considered packing her bags, leaving Theo and the centre straightaway, and driving off to her sister in London, and asking to stay with her. Leila would be a phone call away and Zoe could keep in touch with her daily, tracing progress on the search for Alice. Then she’d thought better of the plan.
With Theo she’d preserved a cool, detached manner. But, this morning, swallowing her pride, she’d walked into the office again.
James wheeled to face her. “What’s up between you and Theo?”
“Nothing that need concern you,” she replied in a haughty tone.
James clasped both hands together on his chest.
“It’ll be a wrench for you both to leave the centre, I see that. But I’m sure Theo will find something to move onto that will sui
t him much better.”
She said nothing.
“Meanwhile, of course,” he said, “you’ll both be mourning the absence of Alice; it’s a sad business.” He sighed, and let his hands drop to his side. “But people are so unaccountable. It’s a fact of life that sometimes they disappear without saying goodbye, and cut off all contact.”
Zoe’s fingers itched to pick up a well-stuffed lever-arch file and throw it at James’s head. But she managed to resist the impulse.
“Let me settle myself down,” said James, “then I’ve a favour to ask of you.”
He walked across to the cafetière and reached for the bag of coffee.
Zoe’s thoughts tumbled over each other. Theo had betrayed her. He’d failed to take a stand against Jessica and the rest of the trustees, he’d made no attempt to defend and protect the life he and Zoe had begun to build here. And Alice, whom she might have confided in, had vanished, and even now her life could be in danger.
Having poured hot water into the cafetière and replaced the lid, James pivoted on his heels, then strolled across to Alice’s desk. He sat in Alice’s chair and held Zoe in his gaze.
“Every time I look at you, Zoe,” he said, “and see the amazing colour of your hair and eyes, I can’t help thinking that if you wanted a film career, it would be yours for the taking.”
Her heart skipped a beat. She could not believe the change of subject, the lack of consideration for her feelings about Alice’s loss… but she could also not help wondering how he knew of her childhood dreams. Then she realised he probably didn’t. He was just being the same, crass, insensitive old James. The remark was merely another sign of his falseness and insincerity.
She gave him a hard stare.
“There must be many casting directors who’d be eager to sign you up, if only they knew about you,” continued James.
“Highly unlikely,” she said.
He persisted. “I mean it, Zoe. Listen; there’d be no more menial tasks here in this office. Let me put it to you straight. I could give you an entrée into the film world. You’ll be feted, admired and adored.”
He leaned forward, both elbows on the desk, fingers laced together under his chin.
She frowned.
“I really can’t think of this while I’m worrying about Alice.”
“Maybe,” he said, “but you won’t help Alice by ignoring what I’m saying to you. I do have connections I could exploit to make this happen for you.”
“I thought you were disenchanted with the acting world, James,” she said. “You said so yourself. Why would you be encouraging anyone else to get into it?”
He smiled.
“It would be different for you, Zoe. You have a potential I could never touch. You’re young, female, and stunning to look at. Often producers will only do a film if they get exactly the person they want for the star role. The producer is the power, the control and the money. If the producer wants someone who looks like you, you’re the one the casting director will zero in on.”
She remained silent.
“Listen,” he said, unlacing his fingers and drumming them against the desk top. “I have a producer friend. You’d be ideal for a role she has in mind. With your fragile beauty, you’re a winner. You’d beat every other actress on the international celebrity circuit.”
“So why didn’t you tell Alice about this when she was with us?” Zoe asked.
“Because Alice is a black girl; very attractive, of course, but not right for this particular role.”
Zoe sat back in her chair.
“OK. White, female, beautiful; why not suggest Natasha?”
James didn’t hesitate. “Natasha isn’t suitable. My friend’s already confirmed that. Come on, Zoe. I see my offer intrigues you.”
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
He jumped up. “And while you’re thinking about it, let me go and make the coffee.”
She put her elbows on the desk, and sunk her head in her hands, while James poured coffee into the cups, and brought one over to her. As he set the cup and saucer on her desk, she looked up. He locked her in an intense gaze.
“So, Zoe?”
The air seemed to ripple. Words sprang into her head. Say yes, Zoe, this is what you’ve always dreamed of. What have you got to lose? James’s voice broke through.
“Give me the benefit of the doubt; just a few photos.” He brought his smartphone out. “Thank you, Zoe. Perfect.”
“Stop, Zoe. We need to talk,” said Theo.
Zoe had met him whilst walking in the garden at nine o’clock that evening, after dinner. James was leading the final session of the week’s programme and had enlisted Griff’s help in preparing for it. So Theo and Zoe were both off duty. Though the temperature had been dropping all day, and the darkness was relieved by few stars, both of them felt an urge to go for an evening walk, well wrapped up, their thoughts sharpened by the flinty chill, in order to reflect on all that had happened in the last few days.
Zoe thrust her gloved hands into her pocket, and said nothing.
“Come and sit in the gazebo,” Theo said. “Though we’ll be warmer if we keep walking, I still feel it would be best to sit while we talk.”
She followed him along the path through the leafless shrubbery. Theo opened the door of the gazebo, switched the light on, then walked in, holding the door for her as she passed through, and closing it behind her. They settled opposite each other on the redwood seats of the octagonal structure. The space between them felt vast.
“I’ve had my discussion with Neville,” said Theo.
“I knew you’d spoken to him. What did he say?”
“He did his best to be helpful.” Theo spoke in a reflective tone of voice. “We discussed my career and he suggested I try to discern God’s leading in the events of my life. We looked at it as if it was a voyage along a river. Then he talked about how vast everything is.” He held his hands out, palms uppermost. “This was vast, that was vast, the other was vast. I asked myself why did God make the universe so vast if we’re the sole planet with life on it? Then I thought: Perhaps God doesn’t exist after all.”
Zoe’s heart fluttered. Whenever Theo had talked this way in the past, the spectre of his depression arose before her.
But she had no patience right now to follow through on his religious doubts. She was anxious to steer the conversation back to the problem of Natasha.
“Theo, I can’t help you with that,” she said. “Please, focus on what’s happening to us, here at this centre. You need to stand up to Natasha.” She folded her arms tightly.
Theo leaned forward, elbows on knees, head in hands. Then he lifted his head to look up at her.
“Listen, Zoe. The power Natasha has is incredible. It’s quite beyond my experience. It’s all-encompassing.”
“Then resist it!” she cried, clenching her fists. “You believe in prayer.”
“I did,” he said. “But this power she has…”
Acid seemed to boil up from deep within Zoe.
“…is a power you can overcome! Just do it!” she cried.
He leapt to his feet, his face flushed. She felt an electric charge in the pit of her stomach. She’d last seen that expression in his eyes as they made love. But this was burning anger, not desire.
“Why let her ruin everything we’ve worked for here?” she demanded. “Our life at this centre, our marriage…”
His gaze remained fixed on her face. For a moment she thought he’d seize her and begin kissing her. Instead he withdrew, and sank back down onto the seat again. She urgently needed to shock him out of this passive state of mind.
“Theo, there’s something I must tell you,” she said. “James has made me an offer – which I’m thinking of accepting.”
“What offer?” He sat up straight again.
She shared it with him.
“God! James and his arrogance!” said Theo. “Say you’ll have nothing to do with it.”
She got up an
d went to the door.
“I shall do what I like,” she said. “After all, you’re not prepared to listen to my warnings about Natasha.”
She pulled the door open then turned to face him on the threshold.
“Natasha’s an entirely separate issue,” he said.
“No, she isn’t. Why are you so blind? I warn you, Theo. She’s dangerous.”
He fell silent, shaking his head.
Zoe fired up. “Tell Natasha you know where her power comes from! Defy her!”
Theo threw her a look full of doubt and distrust.
“She’s entranced you,” went on Zoe, her face burning. “The trouble is you won’t acknowledge where that power comes from. Instead, you’ve put yourself under it. And if you don’t get out now, it could destroy you.”
“Nonsense. This is crazy talk, Zoe.”
She turned her back on him and ran along the path through the shrubbery, towards the house.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Zoe was cool towards Theo at breakfast on Saturday morning. The day itself had dawned muted and mild. She was thankful that none of the guests seemed to have noticed the rift between her and Theo. But the reason for this depressed her: Natasha had so absorbed their hearts and minds this week, she was the only thing they could think and talk about.
As Zoe said goodbye to each departing guest, she was even more disturbed to learn that, in common with those who’d left the Saturday before, these guests, too, had arranged to see Natasha again very soon, though where these meetings were to take place, Zoe had no idea.
The next day, Sunday, would see the arrival of a new set of guests for the following week’s programme. More souls for Natasha to catch in her net, thought Zoe desperately, lured by the promise of a sweet reward. Zoe had several times searched her own conscience and mind and imagination to try to guess what Natasha’s ultimate goal might be in all this; and she remained baffled, frightened and close to despair.
Meanwhile, Theo had made it clear to her that what Natasha offered him had a stronger hold on his heart than any idea of trying to save their marriage. Zoe’s jaw tightened at the thought of this. And she needed to consider her future, the life she might lead, if she were to give up on Theo and leave the centre. She’d have to rethink her whole world. But right now it took all her strength just to keep from bursting into tears. And then there was James, and the offer he’d made her. She knew she should reject that offer. She sensed he was trying to make inroads into her, just as Natasha had already succeeded in doing with Theo. And yet she also told herself that what he was offering could save her future life… though she hated herself for relying upon such false hope.
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