“I’m sorry,” he said. The words sounded so trite. But he meant them. His heart ached for her.
“A couple of his buddies came to see me on leave after he was shipped home in that casket”—she turned to him with a frown—“Shane, they were different. I had known those guys for years. But they were different.”
He didn’t have to wonder. “PTSD.”
She nodded. “Ever since then, I’ve had a particularly soft spot for vets, especially those dealing with PTSD. Most of them don’t get help for it, you know. Even though the military says they have treatment programs, and they won’t be stigmatized or penalized or thought of any differently, the stigma is still there—hidden well and kept underneath the surface, but it’s there. Most of them are too proud to ask for help, thinking that they can deal with it on their own. Most of them don’t want their buddies to know. They’re supposed to protect each other. It’s hard on them . . .”
“When they get back?” he asked. She nodded. “My cousin is in Afghanistan now,” he said. “I haven’t seen him for a year, but . . . I hope he comes through okay. Inside and out.”
“I hope so, too.”
She heaved another heavy sigh. “Some scars aren’t visible. Just so you know.”
“Like Cody?”
“Like Cody,” she said, nodding.
He said nothing for several moments, drawn to her even more than before and feeling even worse for calling Cody a nutjob. In their line of work, you had to let off steam or you’d explode, but that had been a dick move. He’d never been in the military, never been exposed to combat, but he’d been a paramedic long enough to see more than his share of trauma. He’d dealt with the aftermath of losing patients himself and witnessed the devastation that such loss caused their families, their loved ones, and the impact that it had on himself.
“I’m sorry I called Cody that,” he said. “And thank you for telling me, helping me to understand what you’re going through.”
She nodded, her jaw working, and then she turned to look out the passenger-side window again, abruptly brushing her fingers over her cheeks. Refusing to let him see her tears or lingering pain. He wanted to comfort her, to somehow take the pain away, but no hug, no words of encouragement, and no trite words of sympathy could take that kind of pain away.
Instead, he turned back in his seat, put the vehicle into drive, and after glancing through the side mirror, pulled back onto the highway. Maybe a dose of normalcy was what she needed. “Like I said, some of us are going out for a drink after work. Come with me.”
She seemed to think about it for a minute and then shrugged. “Maybe, but just for a little while.”
He hid his surprise that she had agreed. “It’s just going to be a few of us,” he said. “Dean, Mason, maybe Matt, and Jeremy.”
She nodded. They were all a good bunch of guys and he knew that her reluctance wasn’t because she was the only female attached to the squad. Charlie was one of the best EMTs he’d ever worked with, capable and confident. She wasn’t shy, and certainly not standoffish, but she didn’t go out of her way to socialize much. Now maybe he had an indication of why. Losing a brother like that, it must be awful.
When they arrived back at the firehouse, they both busied themselves: cleaning the rig, restocking supplies. It all had to be done before shift change. Charlie was quiet, but she met his gaze when he caught her attention and even managed a few smiles. He really was sorry that he’d brought up some painful emotions for her. Going out for drinks wouldn’t fix it, but he hoped it might be the first step.
3
Shane
The off-duty firefighters, some with their partners, along with Charlie and Shane, met at a local sports bar, pushing a couple of the small, square tables together before ordering a round of drinks. Shane had asked Charlie if she wanted him to pick her up, but she declined, preferring to take her own car. He knew why. He’d done it plenty of times himself. When you went someplace with somebody else, you were pretty much stuck until they decided they were good and ready to leave. One of the primary reasons he always drove his own car anywhere.
He sat next to her at the table, indulging in a round of good-natured teasing with the other guys about who could hold their liquor the best. Charlie smiled when appropriate, answered questions, and overall pretended to be having a good time, but he got the distinct impression that she wasn’t. Not really. Maybe she’d just come along so that she had some company.
She had downed two margaritas while he nursed a single malt Scotch. He wasn’t much of a drinker and didn’t think that Charlie was either, but how much did he really know about her private life? Not nearly as much as he wanted to.
By the time everything wound down and she had just quaffed her third margarita, Shane knew he wasn’t going to let her drive home. The rest of the guys gradually said their goodbyes and left, leaving Charlie and Shane sitting at their table. Several diners had come and gone. The football game on the TV over the bar displayed the game with the Atlanta Falcons in the fourth quarter. He glanced at Charlie, staring idly at yet another screen, watching a commercial about some fancy type of vacuum cleaner.
“Give me your keys, Charlie. I’ll take you home.”
She turned to him with a frown. “I don’t need you to drive me home, Shane.”
Her eyes looked glassy and while she wasn’t slurring too badly, he knew she had deliberately spoken slowly, carefully enunciating each word. “You may not need me to, but I do. You had three margaritas. I’m driving.”
Her frown deepened and she made a face, wanting to argue, but she wasn’t without common sense. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” She dug her keys out of her pocket and handed them to him.
She was one of the few women he knew who didn’t carry a purse. Usually wearing jeans or cargo pants with pockets on the sides, she didn’t need her purse. She carried a fold-up wallet in her back pocket, just like the guys. She had one of those flip-top phones, refusing to get an iPhone because it wouldn’t fit in her front pocket. Her keys were usually crammed into another pocket.
“Come on, let’s get out of here. It’s been a long day.”
She nodded and stood, carefully maneuvering her way down the aisle between tables still filled with diners. They headed for the front door and he was pleased to notice that she wasn’t wobbling, wasn’t smashed, but he still wouldn’t have felt comfortable letting her drive home. Come to think of it, he didn’t know exactly where she lived.
At the same time, pushing open the front door of the sports bar, she turned to glance at him over her shoulder. “How are you going to get home if you drive me home?”
He shrugged. “Where do you live?”
“At the Tree Ridge apartment complex on the corner of Miller and Applegate. You know it?”
He nodded. “I do.” He thought about it as he escorted her to her car, a maroon 2005 Jeep Liberty. “I’ll call a taxi to bring me back here to my car.” He glanced over his shoulder, figuring that his white Dodge 150 would be just fine where it was for a while.
He pressed the button on the key fob, and the doors to Charlie’s Liberty unlocked, accompanied by a brief flash of lights. Wordlessly, she climbed into the passenger seat, shut the door, and fastened her seatbelt. He did likewise, pausing only long enough to readjust the seat and the rearview mirror. She said nothing but stared out the passenger-side window as he drove through the darkened residential streets toward her apartment. It only took maybe ten minutes before he pulled into the driveway that surrounded the complex. It was fairly large. “Which one’s your building?”
She pointed out the windshield. “The last building there on the right.”
He pulled into an open parking space not far from her building and got out. Charlie climbed out as well, still not saying much. Not telling him good night. Not telling him that he could go now. He walked with her to her building and followed as she took a small footpath around to one of the bottom apartments on the northwest corner. The nearb
y sidewalk lamp illuminated the pathway, and he lifted her keychain, fingering the keys until he found what looked like a door key.
“This is me,” she sighed, pausing in front of apartment number two.
Without saying a word, he nodded, inserted the key into the lock, and then gently pushed open the door. Just as she stepped inside, her foot caught on the threshold and she half tumbled inside. Shane grabbed her, pulling her up against him in an effort to stop her fall. Charlie pressed her face into his chest and made a soft moan, then he saw her shoulders shaking. Without hesitation, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward him. She didn’t fight him, but leaned into his embrace as she wept. The next thing he knew, his finger was lifting her chin and he was kissing her.
4
Shane
It felt like the most natural thing in the world, kissing her. Shane kicked the door closed behind him and pulled Charlie further into the apartment, never letting go of her lips. Hell, he felt like he never wanted to let her go again after wanting her for such a long time. He pulled back for a second to look at her, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. To him, she was the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she was crying and broken.
Charlie ran her hands up his waist, exploring his body. She’d spent so long avoiding this—any connection with him. Anyone that she worked with. Today had been the first time she’d even just gone out to drinks. But after everything that had happened, he could tell she needed something more. She’d come out with him even though she had always said no, and she hadn’t pulled away when he’d kissed her. She still wasn’t, her hands exploring his body even as he stared at her. Her eyes met his, and he felt the little hitch in her breath. And then he saw something change in her eyes, like a decision was made.
She kissed him again. Shane loved the way her lips molded to his. And when he kissed her back, a deep groan in the back of his throat, she kissed him harder.
“Shane,” she said as she pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Stay with me.”
He looked down at her, searching her face for any sign of hesitation. “Are you sure?”
Her kiss was the only answer. Something unlocked inside Shane, a raging hunger that he had kept locked up for as long as he could remember. It burned in him, and his cock—which had been at half-mast all night—was now fully erect and begging to be released. He pulled her against him, allowing his hands to skim down her body and take in the feel of her waist and hips, to finally touch. He was a little worried that he was going too fast, too far, but Charlie didn’t stop him. She pulled him closer and put her hands on his body, too. He felt her fingers find the hem of his shirt and slip beneath it, and he caught himself holding his breath. That was it. The contact between his skin and hers would be the thing that made her realize she didn’t want this.
Instead, she smiled at him.
Charlie pulled Shane’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. She’d seen him without a shirt before. She had seen almost everyone at Engine 81 without a shirt, maybe even without pants. It was a shared locker room and they weren’t exactly shy around her. But Shane noticed that she always tried to keep her eyes to herself, never letting herself look too closely or admire. This was . . . different. She ran her hands down the planes of his chest, and the look on her face was the most perfect thing he’d ever seen. It made him hungry for her.
Her face crumpled and tears filled her eyes, and Shane slowed down, pulling her against him. He had no idea what was going through her head, but he was going to be there for it. He was going to keep her safe.
“It’s going to be all right,” he said.
She was cradled against his chest like she was meant to be there, and Shane hoped that she actually believed what he said. He saw the way she closed herself off, never letting anyone in. But she had let him come inside, let him kiss her. Maybe this was the start of something new. Something real and open.
Charlie reached down and pulled her shirt over her head. Shane’s eyes went wide, and his impossibly hard cock hardened even further. She was always so careful never to give them any reason to think of her as anything other than a colleague. This was different. The air between them felt charged. Electric. He hoped that she could feel it, too. And then she took his hand, pulling him toward the back of the apartment.
Shane didn’t take his eyes off her. He couldn’t. He was still in shock that they were there. Together.
As soon as Charlie pulled him into the bedroom, she dropped his hand, pushing off her pants. Then her underwear. Shane’s jaw dropped open as she unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor. There was a smile on her face as she looked at him. “Looks like you have some catching up to do.”
He had never taken his clothes off so quickly. He only stopped for a second to make sure he had a condom from his wallet before joining her on the bed. And then they were kissing again, and he couldn’t remember the last time that he had felt something this good. He propped himself up over her, gaze flowing down her body. He took in her small, perfect breasts and tiny waist flaring to her hips.
Charlie reached up and grabbed his shoulders. “I don’t want slow tonight,” she said. “I need this. I need to feel something other than—” She didn’t have to finish her sentence for him to understand. She wanted to feel, and so he would make her feel. He leaned down and placed a kiss just below her ear, enjoying the way she shivered. He kept his lips moving, down the skin of her chest and across her collar bone, down to her breasts. When he took one of her nipples between his lips, she gasped. God, it had been so long since he’d been with anyone, but the fact that the simple touch of his mouth made her squirm did unspeakable things to his body.
Shane moved his mouth to her other breast, and she moaned, unable to keep quiet. He laughed softly. “I’m glad you like that,” he said. “There’s a lot more where that came from.”
The look in her eyes was so damn sexy. “Show me.”
He dragged his hands down the sides of her body, mouth following. Shane felt her breath go short as he kissed his way down her skin, felt her tense with anticipation when his mouth was right there, so close to her pussy. He pushed her legs open and gave her a long, slow lick. “Oh, God,” she moaned, like she was in heaven. She arched her back, trying to get closer to his mouth, trying to get him to give her more. And, smiling, Shane obliged.
She pushed her hands into his hair as he devoured her, only able to hold on. Tasting Charlie was like being given a map to her body. When his tongue was buried deep inside her pussy, she moaned in short, staccato breaths. When he moved his mouth and sucked on her clit, her thighs shook and her eyes rolled back. Every response he found was new and delightful, and he didn’t want to stop until he found them all. His wanted to make her forget everything but the pull of his lips, the way his mouth felt on her skin.
Shane licked down and into her again. He loved the taste of her on his tongue. This had been a fantasy for him—one of many he had had over the years. He loved the way she tasted, that thick sweetness that told him she was just as turned on as he was. Charlie was moaning, saying his name, and her nails were digging into his scalp, urging him on. He reached up and grabbed her wrists, pulling them from his hair and pinning them down to the bed. He could hear her breath coming in tiny gasps, and the sound was fuel, sending any remaining blood straight to his cock.
“Please,” Charlie gasped. “Please.”
She wiggled against his hold, trying to get away from his mouth and at the same time pushing deeper into him. He lost himself in her pussy. There was only the next lick, the next flick of his tongue. Shane sealed his mouth over her clit, stroking her over and over. He didn’t stop, setting up a relentless rhythm that made her pleasure build until she was bursting with it. And then he didn’t stop until she exploded.
Charlie cried out, her voice rising with every suck. She tried to move, but Shane held her in place, giving her no choice but to let the pleasure take her. He licked her through her orgasm; drank in every drop
she spilled into his mouth. There were tiny spasms and shudders in her pussy and every one was a victory, telling him how much pleasure he gave her.
Shane didn’t stop until she slumped down, a limp mess on the bed.
“Shit,” she said, making Shane laugh.
He licked her again, and it made her jump. “Do you want more?”
“Yes.” The word was out of her mouth almost before he had finished speaking. She pulled him up her body and kissed him. He knew the taste of her sex was on his lips, and he felt her shiver with the visceral memory of pleasure. “More,” she said.
Shane grabbed the condom from where he’d tossed it onto the bed and rolled it onto his cock. There wasn’t a time in his life that he remembered being this hard. Charlie said that she didn’t want slow, and that was good. He didn’t think tonight could be a slow night for him—he had wanted this for so long, it was overwhelming, and controlling himself was the furthest thought from him.
It was Charlie who grabbed his cock, reaching in between them and fitting him against her entrance. Charlie who grabbed his ass and pulled him closer, rolling her hips to take him in. That was all the invitation that he needed. Shane pushed into her with a groan, easing in until he was fully inside. Her pussy was hot and tight around his cock, and now it was he who was in heaven. Charlie was looking up at him, eyes half closed, lips parted. She grabbed his arms and shifted her legs around his waist, taking him deeper. “Shane. Fuck me.”
Shane’s lips crashed onto hers, taking her mouth in a deep kiss as he thrust into her. Damn, she was tight. He took his time, thrusting in slowly and steadily so she could get used to him. He loved the feeling of filling her up, the way her pussy stretched and took him, the way it held on like it didn’t want him to pull back. She was squirming underneath him like every move he made was driving her crazy, and God, he loved it. If that were the only thing he ever saw for the rest of his life, he would be a happy man.
Line of Fire (Southern Heat Book 5) Page 2