She probed his wrist, but there was no pulse. Dropping his arm, Charlie reached forward and clasped her hands together on his chest, beginning CPR. She looked over at Shane, who had put down the laryngoscpe and was sitting back, his hands on his knees. “What the hell are you doing? He needs air, damn it!”
Shane looked up at her, his face passive but his voice heavy. “Charlie, we need to stop.”
Her hands kept moving. She had to save him. That was her job. “Why aren’t you moving? Shane, help him!”
Shane didn’t move. “Charlie,” he said again. She ignored him, counting compressions under her breath. How many could she do before Cody would run out of air? “Charlie.” Shane’s voice was more forceful now. “Stop.”
She didn’t. She didn’t think she could.
Shane moved. He stepped over to her position and dropped to his knees next to her on the floor. His hands, stained red with Cody’s blood, covered her own, ceasing their movement. “Charlie, you have to stop. He’s gone.”
She pulled back sharply. What? Charlie pulled her hands free of Shane’s grasp and ran the back of one across her cheek. It felt slick, with blood or tears, she didn’t know. She looked at Cody, lying still on the floor. His face was pale, a stark contrast to the puddle of red surrounding him on the floor. She looked up at Shane again, her voice half dazed. “How do you know?”
He reached out and rested a hand on her arm. His voice was quiet, but every word rattled around in her brain, ricocheting through her emotions until she could barely stand it. “Sweetheart, there’s brain matter on the floor.”
The world seemed to spin beneath her. She moved, she thought, sitting back, mimicking Shane’s earlier position. Someone entered the room, Shane stood, calling dispatch. The cop who had been kneeling on the floor with them moved away, looking for something to clean the blood from her hands. Cody’s blood. She probably didn’t want to be covered in it any longer, now that there was no point.
Charlie looked down at her own hands. They were gloved, but a smear of blood moved up her wrist, streaking her skin with it. She shifted and the dampness on the knees of her pants pressed against her legs.
God. There was so much blood.
She clamped a hand over her mouth and bolted for the front door, barely making it before she puked up everything she’d eaten that day. When the rest of the world came back into focus, Shane was standing next to her, holding out a couple of wipes and a bottle of water. He handed them to her, saying nothing, but his eyes were sad. She rinsed her mouth, spitting out the water, and then tried to clean herself up. She scrubbed at her hands. Her pants were completely ruined. Somehow focusing on that kept her sane, kept her standing. As long as she didn’t think about the body lying in the room just behind her.
She took another sip of water, looking out across the street. Another cop, one she hadn’t noticed when she’d burst into the scene, walked out the front door. Shane stepped over to him, and they talked for a while in low tones. Their voices were too quiet for Charlie to overhear anything, but she didn’t care. Another sip of water. This time her roiling stomach protested less.
That was, until Shane swore loudly. “Motherfucker!”
Her head snapped up. “What?” Shane looked over at her and she frowned. Why the hell did he look guilty? The water in her stomach threatened evacuation. “Shane? What’s going on?”
He slid a piece of paper in his hand into his pocket. “Nothing you need to worry about.”
Yeah, sure. Her eyes narrowed. “Shane Parker, what is that?”
His shoulders dropped. “Charlie, please. Trust me on this. You don’t need to know.” His face looked almost pained.
She stood and took the few steps to stand in front of him and held out her hand. “Now, Shane.”
Another silent movement, slowly this time. He reached into his pocket and handed her the paper. No, it was an envelope. Addressed to her, her name scrawled across the front. Had Cody left a note, addressed to her? She’d liked the guy, wanted to help him, but that was as far as it had ever gone. Why would he choose her? Her heart beat rapidly as she slid her finger under the flap. It came away easily, unsealed. Charlie pulled out the piece of paper inside, nearly a scrap with just four words, written in an equally messy scrawl.
This is all your fault.
10
Shane
Shane sat in the break room, looking across the table at Charlie. The room bustled around her, with guys calling out across the room and someone sending an orange sailing toward Connor, who reached up and plucked it out of the air. The room was buzzing with the end of shift being less than an hour away and no major calls so far.
Mason walked up to the table next to them, two plates in his hands. He put one down on the table in front of Charlie. “Noticed you didn’t have any breakfast yet,” he said.
Charlie looked up at him, a smile on her face. “Thanks, Cap. I appreciate it.” Mason smiled and sat next to her, digging into his breakfast. Shane ignored his food, his studious stare not moving from Charlie’s face. The smile that never made it to her eyes fell away as soon as Mason had turned away. It hadn’t been there at all for an entire week, not properly. She’d gone through the motions, filling out the required paperwork, accepting the guys’ condolences, and even promising the chief she’d follow up with workplace counseling. Then she hadn’t made the call in a week. She wasn’t going to.
He hated seeing her like this, half the person she normally was, her usually sunny disposition dimmed to the point of nonrecognition. And yet he couldn’t do anything about it. She was still a complete professional on the job. She hadn’t been late to a single shift, even the one immediately after Severs’ death. Chief Stone had “suggested” that she take it off, but Charlie had refused, telling him she needed to keep busy. Alex had eventually acquiesced but had pulled Shane aside after Charlie had left his office and told him to keep a lookout for her. Like he needed the chief’s instructions to do that. In the end, there wasn’t anything either of them could do about it. Charlie was doing her job perfectly. Despite the family atmosphere in the house, there was no rule or regulation saying she had to joke around with the rest of them. Or smile. Or talk.
Shane hunched forward, frowning as he watched Charlie pick at her food. Mason had delivered a plate of scrambled eggs and toast, simple comfort food. So far, all Charlie had done was stir the eggs around the plate a little and stab them here and there with her fork. Maybe if she distributed them randomly enough, no one else would notice she’d eaten little more than a few bites. He would.
He pushed back from his chair and strode into the kitchen. Desperate times and all that. Shane dug around in the freezer, finding Mason’s secret stash for when Sloane visited. There! He grabbed a cupcake and was about to stick it in the microwave to defrost when Alex walked into the room. He caught Shane’s eye and gestured back to his office before walking over and laying a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, saying something to her. Shane shoved the cupcake back in the freezer and hurried back to Chief’s office.
When he got there, Charlie was already in the room. “Take a seat,” Alex said, gesturing at the chairs in front of his desk. Charlie sat, but Shane leaned back against the wall instead, positioning himself so he could see her face. Her posture was stiff and she was biting her lip, her hands resting on her knees at first glance. He looked closer. Her hands were curled around her thighs, fingers digging in.
Alex sat behind the desk and opened a manila file. The look of sympathy on his face as he looked at Charlie nearly had Shane jumping out of his skin. He crossed his arms over his chest, flexing them tightly so that he stayed where he was.
“Do you remember a patient from just over a week ago—Elaine Monahan?”
Charlie frowned, biting her thumbnail. “I think so,” she said. Alex looked over at Shane. He nodded sharply.
“I received a call from HQ this morning,” the chief said. “She’s alleging that she was injured by your treatment.”
Sha
ne jerked upright at his words as a sharp breath fell out of Charlie’s mouth. She slumped down in the chair, but he stayed where he was. As much as he wanted to sit with her, hold her hand, he couldn’t sit still right now. In fact, he wanted to go out, find Mrs. Monahan, and . . . the chief’s words interrupted his train of thought before he could do something stupid. “She told HQ that you were rough with her, that you jerked her out of the car, and in the process dislocated her elbow.”
“That’s bullshit!” Shane blurted out.
An eyebrow raised in caution was the chief’s only reaction to his outburst. “Charlie? Can you tell me what happened that day?”
Charlie’s eyes were wide, her fingers now tapping a frantic rhythm against her leg. “I didn’t touch her! I mean, I touched her, of course I did, but only to stabilize her neck and spine while the guys cut her out.” She closed her eyes, her face tightening as she remembered the call. “She was the one that banged her elbow. She was nervous . . .” her eyes opened as she continued. “You know how some patients react when they’re trapped. The moment Matt sliced off enough of the car that she could move, she was out of there.” She scowled, the first real show of emotion Shane had seen from her all week. “I could barely hang on to her as she jerked out of the seat, and she banged her own damn elbow trying to get out before it was safe.”
Alex turned his attention back to Shane, his gaze sharp. “Did you witness this?”
Damn. He had to shake his head. “No, sir. I was getting the stretcher ready, but several of the guys were there with her. Someone must have seen what was going on. She was a right pain on the way to the hospital. I almost offered to swap places with Charlie on the way back so she wouldn’t have to deal with any more of the bitching.” He shrugged. “Sorry, Chief, but she was pretty bad.”
The chief nodded. “I’ll follow up with Mason and let HQ know.” His gaze softened. “I doubt it’s going to come to anything, but Charlie, I have to put a note about the complaint in your file.”
She nodded. “I understand, Chief. Whatever. Is that all you need?” Charlie stood to leave, her attitude ratcheting Shane’s concern. Even with being distant all week, she’d never been unprofessional. He stared at her as she walked out of the room. Alex looked at the clock on his wall, and Shane followed his gaze. It was 7:05 a.m. Shift was over. Alex caught Shane’s attention, his eyes sharp. “Don’t wait two days before you see her again. Understand?”
Shane nodded. “Wasn’t planning on waiting two minutes, Chief.”
“Good.”
Shane pushed away from the wall and strode to the locker room, catching up with Charlie. She stood at her locker, already changed and adding stuff into her backpack. “You didn’t get to finish your breakfast,” he said. “Want to go grab a bite?”
She paused, looking over at him just long enough for him to see the haunted look in her eyes. Damn them all—Monahan, fuck, he was even mad at Cody Severs for putting her through all this crap. “No, thanks,” she said. “I’m not really in the mood for people right now.”
“Just us, then,” he said. “Or we could go back to my place and I’ll cook. I’ll even make chocolate-chip pancakes.”
That got a smile. “You’ve been spending too much time around Maya.” Charlie swung her locker door shut and then turned to him, lifting her backpack onto one shoulder. “But that actually sounds pretty good right now.”
Shane opened his locker and grabbed his bag, shoving in a spare change of clothes. He’d leave in his uniform and get changed later so he wouldn’t give Charlie any time to think about it and change her mind. He turned, looping his arm through hers, and walked toward the door. “First the store, and then sugar-high paradise, here we come.”
11
Charlie
Charlie leaned back in her chair, unable to eat another bite. “Why didn’t I know you could cook like that?” she said.
“I learned out of necessity. It’s rough being a bachelor.” Shane winked.
She picked up her plate and took it to the sink, turning on the water to rinse it. It seemed important that she look anywhere but at him. “I’m sure there’s plenty of women who would be willing to cook for you.”
It was the silence that finally made her turn around. Shane was looking at her with that intense stare he sometimes got. Like he was trying to figure something out. She’d seen that look before. It was the look that always made her feel naked and vulnerable. Like he could somehow see right through her.
“Charlie,” Shane said, his tone was soft and serious. “I don’t want women to cook for me.”
He stood and moved to stand in front of her. She looked down, hoping to hide the blush on her cheeks. Gently, he raised her chin until she looked him in the face, and he smiled. “I don’t even want you to cook for me,” he said, his tone carefully light. Like he was trying to lighten the mood.
“That’s probably for the best,” she said, looking away. She tried to ignore the tiny stab of pain in her chest. The rejection hurt, even if she did deserve it.
“That’s not what I meant.” He reached out, putting his hands on her waist. “I couldn’t give a shit whether you cook for me or not, Charlie. I just want you.”
Wait, what? Charlie’s breath got caught in her chest, and she looked back at him. “Really?”
“Really.”
She placed her hands on his shoulders, unsure of herself. Even though they had already had sex, this felt different. There wasn’t anything between them now. Not grief or desperation. This was just them, and it was scary as hell. Charlie wished that her voice wasn’t shaking. “Why?”
Shane laughed softly and moved his hand to cup the back of her neck. “Because you’re kind and brave and brilliant. And there’s no one I would rather spend my time with, even if all we’re doing is eating pancakes.”
There was a sensation in her chest, sweet and aching, and she felt like she might cry. “Tell me more.”
Shane stepped even closer, closing the distance between them so it was barely an inch. “I’ll list everything I like about you. Every little quirk that makes me smile. Everything that makes my heart stop when I see you. I’ll do all of that. But please, let me kiss you first.”
The way he looked at her—like she was the only thing that mattered—made her heart stutter and then pound so hard she thought it might beat out of her chest. He’d kissed her before, too, but now she was nervous. This was what their first kiss should have been.
He tilted her jaw up with his thumb, gently pressing his lips against hers. “I like the way you taste,” he said murmured. “Especially when you’ve been eating syrup.” Charlie could taste sugar on his lips, too, combined with the taste that was just him.
He kissed her again, harder. Charlie felt her body relax into the familiar sensation, remembering just how good kissing him could feel. Shane’s hand slid down to her ass and squeezed, surprising a moan out of her.
“I like the way you feel against me,” he said. “Soft and perfect.”
He squeezed again, and she felt her body grow warm—felt herself getting wet. As Shane kissed her, she realized that she wanted him. Not because she was trying to escape something, but because she wanted him. It felt like a curtain had been pulled away from a window, blinding her. It had always been Shane. He had always been beside her, had always lifted her up and showed her he cared even when she had pushed him away. Even when she had used him time and time again. For sex. For emotional support. He had given everything to her because he cared. Maybe even more than cared, even though she couldn’t bring herself to think those words yet.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be close to him. She hummed in happiness, opening her mouth to him just as he pulled back. Charlie could see the wariness in Shane’s eyes and knew that she was the one who had put it there. She shook her head, and carefully put her words together to describe these new things she felt.
“I never let myself before,” she said,
watching to see if he understood. “Never let myself consider what you felt toward me. I had to keep up that wall.”
Shane swallowed. His voice was so quiet, but hopeful. “And now?”
Charlie licked her lips. “And now I see you. Even though you’ve always been there. Because you’ve always been there.” She paused, suddenly emotional. “I want you, too.”
Shane’s lips fell on hers almost before she finished speaking. He kissed her like the world was ending and this was all they had left, and heat swirled in her stomach. She could feel his erection pressing against her, and she pushed her hips into his, making him groan. “Charlie.”
She needed to feel his skin, be closer to him. All it took was her pulling at the hem of his shirt for him to strip it off over his head and show her that glorious bare chest. But it wasn’t enough. She pushed down her pants and kicked them off. Shane did the same. He grabbed her hips, lifting her onto the counter and taking her mouth again. God, he could kiss. The way his tongue danced with hers was driving her mad, making her crave him even though she was already touching him.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling their bodies together with his cock hot and hard in between them. Shane moved his mouth to her neck, sucking along her collarbone, and Charlie groaned. “I need to feel you.”
He handed her a condom. “Will you do the honors?”
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?”
“Wallet.”
“I didn’t even notice,” she laughed.
Shane grinned, “Well, I’m very stealthy.”
Charlie grabbed his cock, sliding the condom over him. The way he felt under her fingers made her shudder in anticipation. Shane was affected, too. She saw the muscles in his chest tense when she finished sheathing him. His jaw clenched. “The way you feel when you’re touching me—” He cut himself off. “You want to move to the bedroom?” He asked.
Line of Fire (Southern Heat Book 5) Page 6