Blood in the Valencian Soil (Secrets of Spain)

by Caroline Angus Baker

  “Gracias, Mamá,” he teased. “I don’t mind. If I trip and fall on them, then it might be different. Are they asleep?”

  “Yes. The boys will sleep anywhere. It comes in very handy.” She looked around the spotless room. “So, what does my Madrileño do on an average Friday night?”

  “I usually go out about midnight, and get home just before sunrise.”

  “Wow, I’m jealous of that.”

  “Don’t be,” Cayetano said and got up off the floor. It was easy to see his leg was still not right when he moved. “At home with you appeals far more. Maybe I’m old, but some nights, just sitting in my armchair and doing nothing is great. But I would like company. I get very lonely here.”

  Luna glanced at the ugly brown leather armchair in the corner. The whole apartment was perfect in black and white, but this stood out for all the wrong reasons. “What’s with the old chair?”

  “Don’t insult the chair!” he cried. “She’s my baby. My grandfather José bought it when he was young, and then Papá had it when he was a torero, and now I have it. It’s a tradition.”

  “You sit on an old chair that is falling apart as a tradition?”

  “You have no idea how many times María tried to get rid of it. She said it embarrassed her when we had parties.”

  “Was that often?”

  “Too often. I like going out, but María liked to show off all the material things she owned. Drove me crazy.”

  “Well, you have no problem of that with me. I don’t own much,” Luna said. She crossed the room to look at a few pictures on the wall. “My apartment consists of things I need, not want. We never decorated anything. We weren’t interested in ‘stuff’. This is your sister, Sofía, right?” she gestured at the photos on the wall.

  “Sure is.”

  “You seem close. That’s nice. Wow, you look young in this one.” She leaned in to look at the photo of a young Cayetano and Sofía on a walking track in the forest.

  “That is Peru. We backpacked through South America when Sofía turned 18. She wanted to go alone, but I suggested I that go with her. Papá was furious when I took a year off work.”

  “Are Sofía and your parents still not talking?”

  “Si,” Cayetano sighed, and sat down in his armchair. He pulled the footrest out and leaned back. “It’s nothing new.”

  “That’s sad. You never know when you are going to be hit by a car and have everything ruined.”

  “Shit, sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay.” Luna continued to look at the photos. “I’m just saying that you shouldn’t assume bad things only happen to other people. They can happen to you. Don’t waste time fighting.”

  Cayetano watched her glance over at him, and he beckoned her. “You have to sit with me. I can’t bear to look at you in that dress any longer without having you on my lap.”

  “I can’t sit on you,” she said, but came over anyway.

  “You can, you are light as a feather.”

  “Feather? No way.” When he took her hand and pulled her, she climbed on his lap and put her arm around his shoulders. She rested her feet on the torn arm of the chair and curled up on him, careful not to put any weight on his leg. She couldn’t deny that she loved the spot. “How long were you in South America?”

  “A year. Sofía graduated high school and refused to go to law school as Mamá and Papá had arranged. She wanted to travel and be a nanny. I took a year off my work and went with her. At 23, you think you can protect your teenage sister from everything. I did a terrible job.”

  “Why?”

  “Sofía is a free spirit. I don’t mind, but that is why she clashes with our parents. Our whole family all work for the family business. Sofía was going to be the lawyer of the family, and she rebelled. I went and trained with a fighter just outside Buenos Aires for three months, and Sofía learnt to dance. I have to admit I made my way through too many young women there, and Sofía was no better. She always manages to find the worst man for her and falls in love.”

  “We are all guilty of that.”

  “True! After that we spent six months tripping around south and central America, and then I did another three months training in Mexico City. Again Sofía was madly in love, and I was bed-hopping. We saw all the sights, walked the famous trails, sampled all the local beers, but we needed to come home just to relax from the holiday! I came home to Madrid and ready to take my place as the torero of the family, but Sofía came home convinced that she couldn’t take her place. She has drifted ever since.”

  “You can’t make her something she isn’t.”

  “No. She met this guy, Garcia, a few years ago. Nice guy. Mamá and Papá loved him. Since she hasn’t been what they wanted, instead they saw her as a wife and mother with Garcia. But Sofía isn’t into marriage. About a year ago, she got pregnant, but was ectópico… ectopic… and now she can’t have children. It split the relationship.”

  “That’s terrible.”

  “Mamá and Papá were upset that she split with Garcia, and Sofía just lost it. She won’t speak to them now. She’s still hurting over it all. I sit in the middle.”

  “It’s all you can do.”

  “Then I split with María, but somehow they supported me more than they supported Sofía, which creates tension.”

  “So, when you see a chance to meet a stranger on the street who doesn’t know you, it’s an opportunity have a bit of fun after all this is going on?”

  Cayetano smiled a warm, genuine smile. “Yeah, but it’s far more than that now. I thought you said that you weren’t sure about bringing the kids here. Then you turn up, looking so smoking hot that I can barely breathe.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I’m serious, you might set off my smoke alarm. Although, standing under cold sprinklers might do me some good.”

  “Darren came home from Cordoba. He knows all about us now.”

  “Awkward?”

  “I just told my best friend of 15 years that I don’t want to be with him, or marry him. I feel like shit.”

  Cayetano raised his eyebrows and thought about that. He wasn’t sure what to say.

  Luna could see what went through his mind. “No! Cayetano, no. I don’t regret it, so don’t think that. Even if I didn’t know you, I still would have said no. Especially with the way he acted today.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He acted as if I owed him. He has put in the hours, and now I have to love him. I have to give him what he wants. He slapped me.”

  “What? The mother-fucker!”

  “Don’t even go there. I want to pretend it didn’t happen.”

  “I’m afraid my fist won’t feel the same if I ever run into this guy.”

  “After we fought, I just thought ‘why not just go to Madrid?’ I want to be with you, and I don’t want to be in my apartment feeling bad about any of this. I don’t have to do anything for anyone.”

  “Do you need me to punch him for you?”

  “No thanks, I can punch on my own.”

  “I have no doubt.”

  “I’m not with Darren. I never was. There is only one man I have ever loved before, and he died. All this is just complicated and stupid.”

  “I will never hurt you,” Cayetano said in a quiet voice. His eyes were soft as they gazed upon her. “I don’t want you to feel as if you have to do more than you can cope with.”

  “I can cope. I’m ready to move on… because of you. Not because I am ready for a relationship… I’m only ready for you. A year ago I wouldn’t have even looked at you, but now… now I’m happy… I’m ready. But I can’t imagine the future, I can only deal with right now.”

  “We live our lives on our terms. No one exists here, other than the boys.”

  “They determine the decisions I make. It has to be that way.”

  “I know.”

  “When you get married, it’s forever. I thought it would be. I’m in uncharted territory, and I’ve been second guessing e
very move I make these last few months. It’s killing me.”

  “I knew, the day I married María, that we wouldn’t last. I was too gutless to do anything about it. I thought a divorce would release me and everyone around me from my mistakes. But it didn’t. You do that. I love you, Luna. More than I have ever loved anyone ever before. A moment like this should have a grand gesture, but…”

  “I don’t like grand gestures. I do love you, though.”

  Cayetano rubbed his cheek against hers. “Do you?” he whispered in her ear.

  “Yes… and it scares the shit out of me.”

  Cayetano couldn’t help but laugh. “You have no need to worry.”

  “I know.” Luna looked right at him; his eyes sparkled like his smile. “We just need to keep doing what we’re doing.”

  “Maybe just a little more often? A phone call every day and a meet-up every few weeks just isn’t enough anymore.”

  “Maybe we could see each other more often. I thought I would sell my apartment. I need to start over, and a new place will help.”

  “You could move much, much closer to me.”

  “To Madrid? And leave Valencia? No way, my blood is in the soil. I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to the place.”

  “I’m drawn to you.”

  “Then I guess we will just have to see how we go.” She gathered his lips with hers, and could feel every ounce of how he felt for her.

  “You could just move in here.”

  “Please tell me that you’re kidding.”

  “I am. Are you sure you want to move? It’s not just because you had an argument with Darren is it?”

  “No. I have wanted to for a long time. Fabrizio and I always planned to move out of the city, and there’s no reason why I can’t do it on my own. I stayed in the apartment because it was a part of my marriage that I still had. I could feel him around me when I was there. But he isn’t there anymore. I don’t feel the pull anymore. I need to move and cope with it. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.”

  “You can talk about him, and anything you want with me. I promise.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked sceptically.

  “It’s Darren who wants to be a replacement, not me.”

  “What do you want to be?”

  Cayetano shrugged. “I don’t know. A new start? Both of us need one. Like you said, we just need to keep doing what we’re doing. There’s no rush to do anything.”

  “Not a rush to go to bed? I know it’s very early by Madrid standards.”

  “Either you’re very tired or are being very suggestive.”

  “I guess that depends on where I’m sleeping tonight.”

  “Well, the children are in the spare room. I converted the other two rooms into my dressing room a few years ago, so that only leaves my bedroom.”

  Luna raised her eyebrows. “You have a giant dressing room?”

  “Yes, for my performances. I get dressed in there, relax in there, I have my home office in there. I keep all my gear in there.”

  “It’s a man cave.”

  Cayetano chuckled at the title. “Yeah, it is. No one can go inside but me. It’s my private space.”

  “Not even María?”

  “Never. When I prepare for a fight, I am alone. She never even asked to go inside. Hop up, I’ll show you.”

  Luna crawled off his lap and helped him up from his seat. “You just said no one goes in there.”

  “I’ll open the door for you,” he said and took her hand. They headed out of the living room and down the silent hallway.

  Luna could see his bedroom at the end of the hall, but they stopped at another door. He opened the door without a sound and walked into the dark room. She waited while Cayetano turned on a lamp that sat on a big oak desk in the corner of the room, and she looked around. Underneath the huge arch window, there was the biggest white couch she had ever seen. One wall of the room was a gigantic wardrobe closed up tight. On the other wall was a mirror, floor to ceiling in size. On a hook, next to the mirror was one of his traje de luces, his bullfighting costume. “Oh my God,” she said. “There are blood splatters all over your suit.”

  “That was the one I wore when I got hurt,” he said, quite casual about the fact. “I hung it up in here and wasn’t sure what to do with it. It’s one of the best I have had made.”

  Luna fingered the red fabric of the chaquetilla, the jacket. Blood had stained the fine and detailed golden embroidery. The pants, the taleguillas, were torn, a huge hole punctured through the pliable and strong fabric. Even though the fabric was deep red, the gush of blood that had come from his leg was still visible. Even the tirantes, his braces to hold up the pants, were bloody, as was his corbatin, his tie. That showed how far the blood had splattered after the accident. “Oh, Cayetano,” she sighed. “This makes the accident real. I…”

  “You don’t need to say anything,” he said. He took the montera, his torero’s hat, from the hook and placed it on her head. “Very nice,” he said.

  “Do you get a kick out of dressing girls up in your gear, do you?” she joked.

  He slid his arms around her waist and laughed. “I haven’t let anyone touch my suits before, so not really.”

  “So why am I in here, wearing your hat?”

  “Those lips look beautiful when they’re smiling,” he whispered. “They entice me into letting you into my life more than anyone else.”

  “I might kiss you with them, since you make me feel so special, even in your silly little hat.”

  With a quiet yet deep, sensual tone, he murmured in her ear, “a la luna de Madrid, me robaste el corazon.”

  She watched him take the hat off her head, and put it back on the hook with care. “I stole your heart under the Madrid moon?”

  “Can I steal your heart again?”

  “You always had it.”

  “I hope so. There’s a fire in you. I should call you ‘la chispa’.”

  “I am ‘the spark’?”

  “Sí, and let it be that you need that fire stoked,” he chuckled, and swamped her lips with his. They lost the playful game the moment they kissed; the power that shot through them was very serious, very deep, and very real. Her entire body was behind the force that wanted him. A passionate kiss from her had felt as if she was searching for something, but that had now changed. It had become a window into a private world that only Cayetano got to see. She had no fear in showing how passionate she was, nothing held her back, and those moments only existed because she was with him.

  Luna ran her hands across his shoulders and rested around his arms, and felt the tautness in the muscles. She relished every moment, every flick of his hot tongue in her mouth when he teased her senses with his kiss. Her little hands couldn’t stay on his arms for very long; they began their natural wander over the rest of his body. They felt the muscles in his back, before they curved around to the front of his pants, and nimbly undid the button of his jeans. She did it just to hear the naughty laugh escape his lips. The childish snigger disappeared the second she slipped her thumbs into the sides of his pants and pulled them from his hips. Now her hands could have every ounce of his body, and the desperate way he began to inhale told her what he felt was something adult.

  Cayetano could hardly breathe; the arousal she continued to stimulate made him feel as if he would burst at any moment. His lips left hers only long enough for him to pull her skin-tight dress from her body, and his own shirt so he could feel her against him. He trailed his lips down her neck while he fumbled to get her bra off, before his hands arched around her to her breasts, unable to resist a not-so gentle caress of a nipple. He would have smiled at his success of building the fire that grew in her, but he was much too dizzy in his own desires. He barely had Luna on her back on the couch below the window before his hands continued their journey. They trailed down to her underwear and pushed past them in a heartbeat. She cried out the moment his fingers grazed her sensitive skin, and he brought his lips back up to hers. “Shh…”
he muttered. “This is our little secret.”

  “I don’t think I can keep it a secret for much longer,” she panted, and clutched at his lips with hers. Her hands had fallen from him, her body unable to perform any task now. Her fists grabbed at the couch cushions beneath her; her toes curled while she tried to silence her cries as he tantalised her. “Poor innocent me, seduced by some hot Spanish guy,” she whispered.

  “You’re a woman who needs an awakening, but the desire is already in you.” Just that thought sent the familiar tremble in his veins she elicited every time they came together, their naked flesh pressed hard against each other. His eyes were dark with the desire to give her a dose of the potency and vigour inside him. “Of course I wouldn’t want to be anything less than a gentleman with the lady.”

  “Sometimes, I don’t want to be a lady,” she replied when he ran his thumb over her bottom lip. She felt his hand drift down her neck, curve down between her breasts, over her stomach, and softly parted her weak thighs again. They were unable to resist him. She took a deep, shuddering breath when he touched her again. “Sometimes I just want to be a woman. One that can’t wait any longer.”

  Cayetano leaned over her, and brought his body to claim her. He loved the helpless cries he could coax from Luna when he made love to her. They added to the erotic sensitivity that ran between them. But the game of having to remain silent only heightened everything, the power that surged through them continued to intensify while they fought to internalise it all. Every nerve Luna had shattered when she felt the familiar shudder of satisfaction in Cayetano, and she let herself go, to let the flood of pleasure and indulgence pour through her. They both slumped back on the couch, desperate to catch their breath, the only sound in the silent apartment.