Someone was following them. Ten minutes ago, rapids had forced them to leave the river, entering this clearing dappled by faint spots of moonlight.
Kai reached out for Susana’s hand, but met empty air. He swung his flashlight up and back.
Shock body-slammed him.
Susana stood three yards behind him. A man’s arm encircled her throat, his forearm shoving her chin up. His other hand held a pistol to her temple.
Kai recognized the more intelligent soldier from the communications tent, and cursed himself for being careless. His M-4 was strapped to the top of his backpack. He hadn’t expected pursuit, not by foot.
He’d assumed everyone died in the fire.
What a friggin’ amateurish mistake.
The man snarled a demand in Portuguese. Kai didn’t bother trying to translate. His focus was on Susana’s terrified eyes as she clawed at the man’s hands, trying to break his grip.
Trying to breathe.
The man tightened his grip, cutting off Susana’s air. She sagged against him.
Rage erupted within Kai. He pushed a button on his flashlight, triggering a laser pointer. With a flick of his wrist, the light shone directly in the mercenary’s eyes.
The man cried out and turned his head away, letting his arm fall to his side.
Susana dropped to her knees, then onto her stomach. Kai could hear her gulping for air. And suddenly he was very glad he didn’t have his weapon in hand.
The mercenary took several stumbling, circular steps. His hands rubbed at his eyes, as if the pressure could bring his vision back.
Kai lifted Susana up and set her on her feet. “Can you run?”
She nodded.
“Good.” He planted a quick, hard kiss on her mouth. “Go!” He pushed her in the direction they’d been heading. “I’ll catch up with you later. Don’t stop.”
The mercenary used the sound of Kai’s voice as a beacon and charged.
Kai met him head on.
Even blinded, the mercenary was a strong, fierce opponent. He fought dirty.
Good. Because Kai wanted to fight. Wanted to feel his hand strike bone. Wanted to hear the man grunt in pain when Kai slammed a knee into his kidney.
God, he felt so alive, so powerful, he barely noticed the pain from his opponent’s punches.
Two years ago, he wouldn’t have been able to hold his own in the fight, despite self-defense training. His assignments had been in labs, where all fighting was verbal. But after Nevsky’s lab burned down, he’d been hunted by the government’s top agents. To avoid detection, Kai had hidden in the roughest places on earth. He’d quickly learned how to defend himself, and win, against men who fought to kill.
He dodged an elbow aimed at his throat. Channeled all his fear and rage through his nerves and muscles. He took a blow to the face that slammed his head against the ground. The mercenary’s hands went around his neck.
Kai let his body go slack, pretending to lose consciousness.
The mercenary eased his grip. Kai brought his hands up inside the man’s arms and swept outward, breaking the man’s hold. Then he grabbed the man’s neck.
The man snatched at Kai’s arms. Tipped his body sideways so they rolled.
Kai grappled for a secure hold. Feinted.
The man fell for it, and Kai pinned him on his stomach.
Kai straddled the mercenary. His knife was at the man’s throat, although he didn’t remember pulling it.
“Where’s your friend?” Kai demanded.
“Ran…back…to river…”
“Why did you come after us?”
“Woman…dead…worth money…”
“Wrong answer, asshole.” Kai’s knife jerked, slitting the man’s throat.
“Kai! Kai stop. What are you doing?”
Kai growled. His knife hand whipped around, slashing toward the intruder.
Susana’s scream cut through the murderous haze filling his head. She jumped back just fast enough to avoid being cut.
Kai was trapped by the fear in her eyes.
Trapped, and humiliated. She was his to protect. Yet he’d almost cut her.
The savage inside him tucked its tail between its legs and slunk back into its cage.
His fingers opened. The knife dropped to the jungle floor. “Jesus. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
Kai reached for her, but she shook her head and stepped away. Her gaze flicked between him and the mercenary.
Even in the stark shadows cast by the beam of the flashlight, he knew she could see the man’s blood streaming out of the wound. “Susana, I—”
“Can we move out? Or…do you…want to bury the body?”
Dammit, her voice was thin and shaky. She’d already seen Jacie’s death tonight. She didn’t need to be reminded of the violence he was capable of.
He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. He’d never hurt her. But why would she believe him?
He picked up his knife, cleaned it on the back of the man’s shirt, then re-sheathed it. “We’ll leave the body,” he said as he stood up. “If his partner is out there, we need to keep moving, not waste time on a burial.”
Keeping her eyes averted, Susana nodded.
He retrieved his flashlight and started to walk past her into the jungle. Helpless, frustrated anger tightened his throat and squeezed like a fist around his heart. When he was beside her, he paused. “This is who I am, Susana,” he said in a low, furious voice he barely recognized. “A killer. This knife isn’t for show. I kill to protect and I kill to avenge.” The words came out in a rush, forced by a sudden need to expose all his darkness. To just get it over with. Susana would push him away, but that was okay. She lived in the spotlight. He lived in the shadows.
They had no future together.
“The men who murdered my family?” he growled. “I hunted them down, slit their throats and scalped them. Just like they did to my parents and the twins.”
He risked looking over at her and saw her eyes on him, wide with shock and denial. Her lack of acceptance only pissed him off further. “I will never hurt you, but if anyone threatens you I will kill again. Count on it.”
He didn’t wait for reply. Just stalked into the jungle.
They needed to make camp. Kai pushed forward through the shallow stream, Susana trudging like a drone behind him, so exhausted she didn’t even lift her feet out of the water. He wanted to tell her it was more work to push forward through the water that way than to raise her feet, but he was afraid to speak. He didn’t want to give her a reason to focus on him and remember what he’d done.
What he wanted was a safe place for her to crash.
He halted, listening for sounds of pursuit. Still nothing. The dead man had probably told the truth, then. His buddy had run the other way. Which meant it was safe to make camp.
At the next break in the trees, Kai led them out of the river and up a shallow bank. When the trees finally thinned out around a small clearing, he stopped. They were far enough from the water not to be bothered by animals out for their nightly drink.
“Let me set up the hammock,” Kai said.
“No. I can help.” Without meeting his eyes, Susana picked up the hammock and walked over to a tree.
Her fear kicked him in the solar plexus.
Dammit, he wasn’t dangerous to her. He just…
Stop.
You’re both exhausted. Tomorrow you can make her understand.
Yeah, but understand what? That he’d killed without making a conscious decision? How could he expect her not to be afraid when he wasn’t in control of himself?
Shit.
He jerked the trip-wire system out of his backpack and strung it around the perimeter of the clearing. When he was finished, he turned toward Susana, expecting her to already be asleep.
But the flashlight showed her standing in front of the tree, the hammock dangling from her hand. And, dammit, she was shuddering.
He reached her side in two seconds.
“Susana? What’s wrong?”
She turned to him, her face crumpled in grief.
“Ah, sweetheart.”
He held out his arms. With a low keening cry, she rushed into his embrace, burrowing against him like she wanted to climb inside. Which was right where he wanted her. Tucked behind his heart so no one could ever hurt her again.
“They’re all dead,” she sobbed. “Because of me.”
He closed his arms more tightly around her and rested his cheek against her forehead. “Shh. Don’t think about it. I’ve got you.” Her whole body bucked on a sob so violent, she almost threw off his hug. He shifted his body, entwining his leg with hers and snugging her more securely to his body with an arm at her shoulders and hip.
She tightened her arms around his back and pressed closer.
Damn, but she felt perfect against him.
Mine.
For once Kai agreed with his primitive instincts. Susana was his to protect.
Just like that, all the dark, powerful emotions he’d thought satisfied when he killed the mercenary, reappeared. He burned to make Susana’s enemies bleed for scaring her. For making her feel a guilt she’d carry the rest of her life. And for allowing her to see him at his worst.
He nearly howled in frustration.
It wasn’t safe to leave her and hunt down the men responsible. Which meant her enemies would continue to live.
For now.
Susana couldn’t sleep.
Maybe half an hour ago, Kai had tucked her into her hammock like a child, then settled the mosquito net above her. Despite feeling physically and emotionally drained, she’d been staring into the dark ever since, shivering with fear and fighting back panic.
Night under the shield of the canopy was completely devoid of light. The darkness pressed heavily on her, making it difficult to breathe.
And it was too quiet.
Usually, forests had myriad night sounds. But tonight the critters were silent, perhaps scared away by the fire. Without the comforting harmony of chirping insects and rustling leaves, she felt isolated. Terrified of what waited beyond the boundaries of her hammock.
Up to now, she’d never considered herself afraid of the dark.
And what did that mean, anyway? If you’d asked her yesterday, she would have said being afraid of the dark really meant someone was afraid of the bad things that can happen in the dark. Such as being attacked.
But now she understood. The truth was that the darkness—this utter lack of light that denied her the ability to know where she was in relation to her surroundings—was something to fear in and of itself. Because with the darkness came the certainty of her own lack of power.
Robbed of the comfort of seeing, she remembered the look of triumph on Kai’s face as he’d knelt over the dead mercenary. The way the blood had…
No.
Her mind shifted away from that image, but immediately pictured Jacie as she fell, shot by the helicopter. Imagined she could see the faces of her crew as they died, flesh burning, voices screaming. Swore she could sense men creeping through the trees, trying to find her. Waiting for a chance to kill her.
She pressed her fists to the rims of her eye sockets. Stop it!
If anyone threatens you I will kill again. Count on it. Kai would protect her. But what if something happened to him? How did she even know he was still out there, guarding her?
The only way to fight the fear was to use light. And to break the silence with talk.
But only two light sticks remained and Kai’s flashlight was losing power. He’d also ordered her not to speak until morning, unless it was an emergency. He didn’t want anyone locating their position.
Riding the edge of hysteria, she wondered if he’d consider her potential loss of sanity an emergency.
Ashamed at her weakness, she bit her lip until she tasted blood. C’mon girl, you’re stronger than that. She could keep silent. Ignore her desperate need for Kai to say something. Say anything. Heck, she’d be satisfied if he simply recited the alphabet. She just needed a reminder she wasn’t alone.
She shifted position again. Her eye caught movement off to her left and she jerked upright, banging her head on the mosquito net. A hard male hand against her lips stopped her from crying out.
Oh, God, they’d found her!
“Shh, sweetheart, it’s only me.” Kai’s voice was a barely audible thrum against her ear.
Everything within her relaxed. She nodded and he moved his hand away.
“Can’t sleep?”
“No.” She tried to be as quiet as he was, but to her ears, her whisper sounded like a shout.
“Here.” The hammock tipped slightly as he raised the mosquito net. She heard a soft crack, then he passed her a glowing light stick.
“Keep your hand shaded around this. Or better yet, hide it under your shirt so you only see a faint glow.”
“But…that leaves only one.”
“We’ll be extracted soon. We’ll be fine.” The mosquito net settled back into place and she sensed Kai moving away.
She bit her lip to keep from crying out in disappointment.
What did you expect? That he’d hold you?
She opened her shirt and tucked the light inside. Yeah, fool that she was, she wanted his arms around her again.
She didn’t cry often, but when she did, it always left her feeling alone and vulnerable. Having Kai’s body pressed against hers during her earlier crying fit had staved off the loneliness. She’d felt safe. Cherished.
The protectiveness of his embrace had buried her fear. Had broken through the shock of seeing Kai slit that man’s throat.
But apparently, his earlier show of comfort had been a one-shot deal. Holding her had probably been damage control. A way to make sure she didn’t have a noisy meltdown and draw the attention of the mercenaries.
She knew better than to believe that if a person offered you comfort, your emotions were safe with them. Jacie had given her many a reassuring hug over the years, but all along, she’d been plotting to destroy Susana.
Now she was dead.
My fault. Tears burned down her cheeks and pooled in the corners of her lips. If only her father had never put the damn microchip inside her. If only they hadn’t returned to her camp. If only…
Depressed by the direction of her thoughts, Susana concentrated on blanking her mind and focusing only on the light. After a long while her mind calmed and her fear receded.
Well, a little bit, anyway. She was still aware of the darkness crouching just outside the reach of the light, waiting for its chance to pounce.
Get a grip, girl.
This sudden fear of the dark was ridiculous. She should be grateful to it for hiding her from the men in the helicopter.
That’s it. Think positive.
She tried to picture holding a massive party after the chip was removed. There’d be a live dance band belting out pulsing Latin rhythms. Streamers and balloons and bright, cheerful clusters of flowers would decorate the room.
All her friends…
The vision popped. Too many people she cared about would be missing.
Including Kai.
The fiery light had diminished to a warm glow when Rafe next regained consciousness. This time he managed to sit up. When the world didn’t tilt or whirl, he worked his way to his feet.
The mission.
He had to complete the mission. Not remembering exactly what the mission was, he nonetheless checked to make sure his weapons were still in place.
Check.
But he couldn’t locate his night vision goggles. The fire’s glow made it too bright to use them now, but he’d need them when he walked deeper into the jungle.
Dammit, what was he supposed to do?
He glanced around him and finally spotted the goggles hanging from a bush to his right. As he reached for the strap of the goggles, a long-forgotten voice cracked the shell holding his memory.
Get the lead out, Andros
! Rangers don’t sit around on their butts. Grab your gear and move out.
“Yes, sir, Sergeant Miller, sir!” Rafe snapped to attention, only to realize his sergeant wasn’t there. He wasn’t back in the jungle of Costa Rica with his former Ranger team.
A different voice echoed through the darkness in his brain. Forget who you were.
An older man wearing a white lab coat tightened the chains holding Rafe to the wall of his cell. Rafe flinched, trying to escape the pain that invaded every muscle and speared through his brain.
Obedience is the only reality. Stop remembering, do as we order, and the pain will stop.
Rafe put his hands to his head. God, his brain felt like it was tearing apart.
He didn’t know who he was. What he was supposed to be doing. He…
His phone vibrated in his pocket. He opened it and listened. Each word brought a higher level of calm. “Understood,” he said.
For several minutes after he ended the call, he stared blindly into the night.
He knew his mission again. Find the woman. Kill her escort. Kill anyone else who got in the way.
Bring the woman out alive…or dead.
Some closed-off part of his brain struggled to tell him something. There was a reason he shouldn’t move forward. There was…
Rafe shook his head.
No. Complete the mission. Then there’d be no more pain.
Rafe took a step. Then another.
Within four steps, the thrill of the hunt overtook him and he ran.
Chapter 19
Sunday, Night
Amazon Jungle
Kai stood next to Susana’s hammock, watching her nose scrunch up and her lips purse as she slept. The light stick added an otherworldly radiance to her face that highlighted the many cuts and bruises on her skin.
She’d never seemed more precious to him.
Her hand moved restlessly along the edge of the hammock, batting at the mosquito net.
It was hot under the protective covering. The tiny holes didn’t allow much air to circulate.
Knowing he shouldn’t, he knelt down beside her and slipped his hand underneath the net. He captured her fingers in his own and was surprised at the strength with which she grabbed on.
And how the contact settled her down.
Betrayal (SSU Trilogy Book 2) (The Surgical Strike Unit) Page 18