by Autumn Reed
“Stop!” I practically shouted, heat rushing my face as I realized what I’d said. “You can’t distract me. I want to know what you’re hiding about your job.”
Jackson’s smile remained, but I could see tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there before. I felt bad pushing the issue since we’d been getting along so well, but now that it was out there, I couldn’t take it back.
“Anything we might be keeping from you about our job is a secret for a reason, Haley. It’s not up to me to fill you in, even if I wanted to.”
“Do you want to?” I whispered, needing to know.
“Yes, I want to,” he murmured back.
“Maybe someday?” I asked hopefully.
He didn’t answer, but I could have sworn his eyes told me yes. Wishful thinking?
“We’d better get this stuff in the fridge,” he said, hopping out of the Jeep and grabbing the bags from the back.
I followed him inside and, once the groceries were put away, we went our separate ways to change clothes. Part of me was disappointed that Jackson hadn’t told me more, but we had made so much progress, I wasn’t as upset as I expected. Unlike when I’d first moved to Santa Cruz, I no longer questioned whether the guys had good intentions in whatever they were doing behind the scenes. I had to believe that they would let me in on it eventually.
When I met Jackson on the patio about twenty minutes later, he had the grill going and I noticed three steaks ready to go on. “Hungry?” I asked jokingly.
“Yes, but the extra steak is for Chase. I forgot to mention I invited him for dinner; he should be here soon.”
“Oh, okay,” I answered calmly as my stomach twisted with anxiety and anticipation. Why did the mere sound of his name get me so flustered? Nothing had really changed, except I now knew for sure that he wanted to date me, of course. Plus, I had no doubt that Jackson would pick up on any weirdness between us, so I seriously needed to get my nerves under control.
“Do you mind if I take Penny on a quick walk?” I asked, needing to stretch my legs after a long day at work.
“Of course not; she’ll love it. Just let me grab her leash for you.”
Jackson returned a minute later, Penny at his heels, clearly happy to see her leash. He handed me the leash, and before I knew what was happening, Penny had circled me and, in her excitement, nudged the back of my legs. Taken by surprise, I lost my balance, stumbling into Jackson and pushing him to the ground. I managed to right myself before falling, but I knelt down beside him to make sure he was okay.
“Oh my gosh, Jax. I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?”
He stared at me wordlessly for a moment, and I worried that his fall was worse than I’d anticipated. Did he hit his head? “How many fingers am I holding up?” When he didn’t immediately answer, I leaned closer to examine his eyes for glassiness and my fingers went to the back of his head to check for a knot.
“You called me Jax,” he finally said, his voice unusually hoarse.
“I did?” I asked, trying to think back to what I’d said. “I didn’t realize.”
“I liked it,” he told me, the corners of his eyes crinkling in accompaniment with his bright smile. I tried to figure out how to respond while attempting to ignore the butterflies taking flight in my stomach.
“Everything okay back here?” Chase’s voice asked from behind us.
I jumped up, aware of how the position must have looked, my face inches away from Jackson’s and my hand grasping the back of his neck. “Um, yeah,” I stuttered, “just a little clumsiness on my part.”
Jackson got up and brushed the grass off his shorts. “That was not clumsiness; that was an over-excited Penny all the way.”
“We’ll be back in a few minutes,” I said as I started to walk away with Penny, grateful for the excuse to escape.
“Can I tag along?” Chase asked.
So much for escape. “Sure.”
Chase was quiet as we strolled along the beach, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he upset about how he’d found me and Jackson? Although it was technically innocent, when I remembered Jackson’s smile, I wasn’t sure “innocent” properly described the encounter.
“You and Jessica seemed to have a good time in Vegas.”
Thankful for the neutral topic, I responded, “Yeah, it was amazing to see her but also kind of strange. So much has changed since we were last together in August. Sometimes I feel like a completely different person than I was before . . . all of this.” I waved my hand absently.
“That’s understandable. I know how much my life has changed since September; I can’t even imagine how you feel.” Um, was he referring to me, or was I reading into his words?
Chase stopped walking, and I tugged on Penny’s leash, halting beside him. “Changed in a good way, in case you were wondering,” he said, his dimple appearing. Okay, yeah, he was definitely referring to me.
“Well, considering how impactful your Advanced Linear Algebra class has been, I’m not surprised.”
His grin deepened. “Yes, because I was talking about algebra.”
“Hmm . . .,” I shook my head sadly, “now that I think about it, it’s possible you’re a bit of a nerd.”
His shoulders shook with laughter, causing his T-shirt to tighten over his upper body in a very un-nerdlike way. “I’m glad you think so, because I have a nerdy proposition for you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Have you seen the movie Battleship?”
“Nope.”
“Good. How do you feel about dinner and Battleship—the game and the movie—at my place next Friday night?”
Was he asking me on a date? In the last few days since we’d returned from Vegas, he’d been texting more than usual, and it almost seemed like he was subtly pursuing me. Either way, I needed to, wanted to, say yes. “Okay, sounds fun.”
Chase lifted his hand and pushed a strand of hair that had come loose from my ponytail behind my ear. “Can’t wait.” His gaze lowered, but before I had a chance to consider whether he was thinking about kissing me again, he stepped away. “We should get back. I’m sure the steaks are ready by now.”
Over dinner, I found myself observing Jackson and Chase. Although I was used to hanging out with different combinations of the guys, I had never spent much time alone with only those two, and I was surprised by how compatible they seemed. But, when I thought about it, I shouldn’t have been. Just because I associated Jackson with Liam and Knox, and Chase with Ethan and Theo, didn’t mean that they actually had those preferences. Apparently Chase came over regularly to go surfing with Jackson, and Theo and Jackson went mountain biking every month or so. How had I missed all of that?
As much as I wanted to ignore the issue, I kept wondering how Jackson would react if he found out that Chase was the one who told me about the pact, and only because he’d already kissed me. Somehow, I imagined that Chase would be the last on his list of suspects, since he was typically the one most likely to follow the rules. If I agreed to date Chase, he was risking a lot . . . was I even worth the trouble?
In Too Deep
With one foot on the dock and the other on the boat, Jackson spanned the gap and held out a hand to me. “Ready to come aboard?”
“Absolutely,” I answered, placing my hand in his and loving the feel of his fingers surrounding mine. I was excited by the prospect of sailing along the Santa Cruz coastline with Liam and Jackson. The weather was perfect, sunny with a decent breeze, and a number of boats were already out on the water. I doubted we’d be swimming, but I had a swimsuit on beneath my shorts and T-shirt and had brought a hoodie.
I scanned the boat deck, taking it all in. There was a steering wheel at the stern, or rear, with bench seats clustered around it in a U-shape. Directly ahead of the wheel was the entrance to the cabin and above that, a mast and sails that had yet to be unfurled. A narrow walkway ran along each side of the boat, a low railing lining the edge. At the front of the boat, or the bow, as Jackson told me, was a small s
pace to sit on the deck.
Liam appeared from the cabin wearing a maroon baseball hat with the letter “S” embroidered in white before placing a matching one on my head. “Here you are, gorgeous. Trust me, you’re going to want to wear it.”
“Thanks,” I said as I pulled my braid in front of my shoulder. “Do I need to wear a life jacket?” I asked, scanning the deck and admiring the beauty of the sailboat. It was mid-sized, larger than others in the harbor but more for day sailing than overnight trips due to the small quarters below deck, Liam had explained.
“Since the boat is over sixteen feet long, it’s not required, but you are welcome to wear one if you want. The life jackets are beneath that bench,” Jackson said as he pointed to a bench at the rear of the boat.
“Great, thanks. Anything else I should know or anything I can help with?”
Both Jackson and Liam were busying themselves around the boat, preparing sails and ropes and unloading things into the cabin.
Liam called out, “If we happen to capsize, you should be more concerned with sharks than the boat sinking before assistance arrives.”
“Gee, that’s an encouraging thought,” I said sarcastically.
“Liam,” Jackson said sternly, “you know better than to frighten our guest before we reach the open water.”
Liam laughed. “Okay, just don’t pull any of your stunts like when we went to Catalina.”
Jackson rolled his eyes as he walked toward me. “I’m never going to live that down. And it’s highly unlikely we will capsize. Liam and I are experienced sailors, and sometimes we like to sail close to the wind, so to speak. If we’re going too fast or making you uncomfortable, say something.” He winked then started unwinding the rope that was tethering us to the dock.
I took a seat on the bench, hoping to have a good view of the action without getting in their way. Liam fired up the engine, and I glanced over at him as he steered us out of the narrow docks toward the opening that led to the ocean. In that moment, he looked relaxed and confident, happy but with that still distinctly-Liam naughtiness lurking beneath the surface. His grin widened, and I snapped a picture with my phone, loving the look of the boat and ocean in the background.
“I hope you enjoy your new screensaver,” he said, his attention focused on the bow.
“Nah, just capturing this nice moment before you become shark bait.”
“First of all, you look way tastier that I do,” he said as he tilted his head down and peered over the rim of his sunglasses.
“Eyes on the water, el capitán,” I joked.
“And, secondly,” he said more seriously, “I was kidding. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
“Well, the day is young—you never know. Besides, I might get a shot of Jax that is more worthy of my screensaver.”
“Jax, huh?” Liam said, commenting on my use of Jackson’s nickname instead of his full name.
I remained quiet, reflecting on the past few days with Jackson as the engine hummed, propelling us forward. The water was smooth in the inlet and lapped at the side of the boat as seagulls flew overhead and seals occasionally peeked their heads from beneath the surface. I loved comparing all the boats we passed and seeing what their names were—some were basic while others were quite creative and often very clever.
I laughed aloud at a name and Liam turned his head to look at me. “What’s so funny?”
“Some of these boat names are very . . . amusing,” I said, not brave enough to consider repeating the rather risqué name.
“Yeah, I’m always entertained by ‘Knotty Buoy’ and ‘On the Rocks.’”
I laughed. “So punny.”
“Well, which one do you like?”
“Since I’m partial to astronomy terms, I like ‘Pyxis.’”
“Mariner’s compass,” Jackson said as he approached the stern momentarily.
“Precisely,” I answered, impressed by Jackson’s surprising knowledge of the rather obscure Latin term that was also the name of a faint constellation.
As we neared the opening to the ocean, Jackson prepared the sails and shuffled expertly around the boat. We exited the cove, the waves swelling larger and the wind gusting dramatically. Once we had cleared other boats, Liam cut the engine and they both set to work adjusting the sails.
I knew Liam and Jackson had sailed together in the past, but watching them was mesmerizing; despite barely even speaking, they knew exactly what to do. And it didn’t hurt that they looked like they’d stepped off the pages of a Ralph Lauren ad, complete with swim trunks, pullovers, and aviator sunglasses. This is the life, I thought, the wind blowing through my hair and the sun warming my skin.
Is this really my life? I questioned for the millionth time since the fire.
“How are you doing, Haley?” Jackson asked as he neared the back of the boat where I was sitting. I pulled my hoodie on, thankful I had brought it.
“Great,” I responded enthusiastically while the boat bobbed up and down on the waves.
We were soon underway, progressing north, passing the Boardwalk and the beautiful rugged coastline. Our speed was decent, but comfortable, and I felt safe enough to walk around the boat deck. Standing at the bow, I had the illusion that we were going faster but knew it was just the feeling of being closer to the waves rushing past.
When I finally returned to the stern, I removed my hoodie, the day quickly warming up. Jackson offered me some of his water, and I accepted, feeling his eyes on me the entire time I was drinking.
“I get the feeling you guys are holding back for my benefit.”
Liam kept his attention focused on the boat while Jackson spoke. “Did you hear that, Liam? I think Miss Jones is accusing us of taking it easy on her.”
“Is that so?” Liam asked, and a look passed between the two of them. “Better hold on tight, gorgeous.”
Heeding Liam’s warning, I reclaimed my seat and kept one hand on the railing. After Jackson made adjustments, our speed increased dramatically, and the boat pitched slightly to one side. I squealed and clutched at the railing, my eyes wide, surprised by the sudden shift while water sprayed higher at the front of the boat.
“Still feel like we’re taking it easy on you?” Jackson asked.
I shook my head and smiled nervously.
“And I thought you were an adrenaline junkie.” He laughed, clearly at ease despite the boat’s speed and tilting.
Jackson was right when he warned me that he and Liam liked to push the envelope. It felt like we were flying but also teetering on the edge of spinning out of control. After a few more minutes, the sail flapped gently and the boat righted to a more level position. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and stood once the boat seemed to be floating easily.
“Did we push it too far . . . or do you want to go further?” Jackson asked, his voice deeper than normal.
Meanwhile, Liam approached from behind, settling his hand on my hips and effectively trapping me between them. “Why do I feel like I’m being circled by sharks,” I joked, wondering what they intended to do, because I got the impression we were no longer discussing sailing. Maybe the sun and salt water were getting to me.
“Because you look positively delectable,” Liam replied as his head dipped closer to my neck, his muscular chest cradling my back as the boat rocked on the waves. He nuzzled into my neck and licked, tickling my skin and making me giggle. “Mmm, salty,” Liam said appreciatively before slowly releasing me and stepping back.
Hesitant to see Jackson’s reaction, I peeked through my lashes to find his eyes appraising me. He stalked forward, and before I knew what was happening, he leaned in on the opposite side that Liam had and nipped the skin where my neck joined the shoulder, then smoothed over the area with his tongue. Heart racing, I bit my bottom lip, and my eyes fluttered open on a soft moan.
“You’re right,” Jackson said in a very matter-of-fact tone, his expression one I couldn’t quite place. He turned toward the front of the boat.
“Perhaps that’s enough risk-taking for one day. And we should probably start heading back toward the marina.”
With my legs feeling shaky, and not from the rocking of the boat, I returned to the seat on the deck and tried to take some calming breaths. Did I just imagine that?
A few hours later, Liam and I returned to his penthouse. Tired from spending most of the day in the sun, we relaxed in front of the TV for a while and then opted for a simple dinner of homemade paninis and salad. I sat next to him on the barstool at the kitchen island while we ate. Liam had been surprisingly quiet throughout my stay; the idea that he could be around me without flirting or even talking would have surprised me in the past, but now it seemed natural.
“Did you enjoy sailing?” Liam questioned, glancing over at me between bites.
“I did. We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day, and honestly, I was really impressed by you and Jax.”
Liam chuckled. “That comes from years of sailing together.”
“No,” I smiled, “it’s more than that. You were just so . . . in sync.”
“And that surprises you?”
“Yes. No.” I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Well, which is it?” Liam asked, barely holding in his grin.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but your personalities are so different, I forget that you kind of grew up together.”
“That’s understandable. Most people tend to overlook our bond, but the truth is, our lives have been shaped by many parallel events. All the guys are important to me, but Jax . . . he gets me in a way that some of the others don’t.”
We ate in silence for a few minutes before Liam glanced over at me between bites. “Haley, is there anything you want to talk to me about?”
I was taken aback by his hesitant demeanor and the question; it felt a lot like the few times my dad would ask me an almost identical question and have a particular transgression of mine in mind. Did Jax tell him I know about the pact? Did he find out about my kiss with Chase? Did he find the Batphone, as Jess called it? I silently panicked over the possibilities.
“Do you have something specific in mind?” I asked calmly, realizing that my secrets were adding up, and I didn’t like it.