by K. Sterling
“Thailand! He was arrested in Thailand! I don’t know what name he traveled with, I destroyed everything but I can find him!” He screamed before Roman stuck his fingers in Darlington’s nostrils and pulled so his jaw stretched and pushed the rag back into his mouth.
“Thank you, but I’m confident I can find him without you,” he said briskly and Quinn pressed his hand against his mouth as he fell apart. His heart exploded as every muscle in his body went limp and his bones melted. He didn’t know if it was too late but he finally knew where his brother was. Roman’s eyes hovered on the ceiling and Quinn realized he was riding the crest of his relief and pain with him and giving him a moment to cope. Roman released Darlington and stepped back then clasped his hands behind him. “You don’t deserve this but in a little while, Mr. Bishop will move you to a wheelchair. You’re going to die on the deck of this ship with the breeze and the moonlight on your face and a beautiful song in your ear. You’ll get a bullet in the back of the head and then you’ll be rolled into the North Sea. It isn’t what we hoped for but Mr. Waverly, Mr. Bishop and myself will continue on and have a lovely holiday in France before we return home and start the rest of our lives in peace.” He stopped and took a deep breath and it was over. He relaxed and the atmosphere in the room changed immediately. It still smelled like spoiled raw meat and salt and Darlington was sobbing and shrieking around the gag but Roman was puckish and charming again and Mr. Bishop was…pretty much the same but there was less of a desire to crack a skull like an eggshell or pull a spine out of a throat to his aura as he opened the door. “Shall we, Quinn?” Roman asked as he waved at the door and Quinn didn’t need to be told twice. He dove for it and filled his lungs with fresh air as he escaped into the hall. The door shut behind them and Quinn reached for Roman.
“Thank you!” He cried as he buried his face in the corner of Roman’s neck. Quinn was shaking and his chest heaved but Roman was calm and soothing as his hands kneaded his back. Mr. Bishop eased past them then rushed up the stairs.
“Darius and I will begin looking for Jayce immediately. It shouldn’t take us very long to learn something. I’d like you to leave it in our hands but I understand if you’d like to make inquiries of your own,” Roman whispered into Quinn’s hair. Quinn wanted to cry. He wanted to break down and unleash every tear and roar he’d held back over those long months as his brain and his heart finally let go. He didn’t have Jayce back but that part of the mystery was solved. He knew where his brother was and he would have him back, one way or the other. For a moment, he clung to that. He would either have joy and relief soon or it would finally end in heartbreak. But they’d put together the puzzle of Jayce’s last hours in London and he’d learned what his brother had done to himself. Quinn did everything he could and put Jayce’s fate in the hands of the only people who could bring him home. He did his part and the rest was up to Jayce and his karma. Quinn knew the rest was out of his hands, he couldn’t save Jayce if he was already dead and Roman would bring him home quickly if he wasn’t. His part was over and it was time for him to close that chapter of his life and move on.
“I’m not going to look, I know you’ll find him,” he said and Roman held him away from him and searched his face.
“You’re not?” He asked carefully and Quinn shook his head.
“I’ve done everything I can for him and I’d like to focus on something different. I’d like to focus on me,” he said and Roman gasped in delight as he captured his lips and kissed him.
“It’s about time and I have some very good ideas as to where we can begin!” He said as he turned him toward the stairs.
“Do you?” Quinn asked as they stopped. Roman gestured for him get against the wall as Mr. Bishop appeared at the top of the steps with the wheelchair under his arm. He turned and scooted down the narrow space then raised it above his head so he could step around them.
“Thank you, Mr. Bishop,” Roman said then swung his chin toward the stairs. “Each of my yachts offer different amenities,” he explained as he guided Quinn down the hall.
“He’s really going to use the wheelchair?” Quinn asked as he looked back and watched Mr. Bishop wheel it down the narrow hallway.
“It might have been easier to carry Darlington up the steps but he’s a lot heavier than when he went down and quite disgusting now,” Roman said. “He won’t have any trouble pulling the chair up the steps with him in it,” he reassured Quinn and he blinked back at him.
“No. I wasn’t worried about how he’d get the chair back up the stairs with Darlington in it,” he said then gave him a What the fuck? look. “He’s not going to break or crush anything? You’re just going to… And that’s it? After everything he’s done?” He asked and Roman nodded in understanding.
“Ah. I made him a deal, I can’t renege on that,” he said simply and Quinn didn’t hide his shock.
“I know but you’ve waited all this time and nobody’s going to know you killed him. How would anyone find out you cheated on a deal?” He said and Roman shook his head and his fingers trailed lightly over the handrail as they climbed the steps.
“Integrity isn’t a thing we keep for other people, I don’t have to tell you that,” he said. “I got what I needed and you have your answer. I knew I’d get that answer out of him, one way or the other. If he’d hesitated or tried to use Jayce to bargain with, I would have taken an immense amount of satisfaction out of painting that room with his blood and bowels. But I refuse to become that sort of monster. I’m not going to turn into him, he’s not worth it.”
“What were you saying about amenities?” Quinn asked and tangled his fingers with Roman’s as they stepped out onto the deck. He laughed softly as he raised Quinn’s hands to his lips and kissed them.
“I picked this ship for our little excursion because it has that handy room that can be sprayed down and a very decadent master suite with mirrors over the bed, if I recall correctly. I’ve only ever used it for that,” he confided as he waved over his shoulder vaguely, toward the storage room.
“We’re going to France?” Quinn asked and there was a flutter in his stomach and it caught him off guard. It was the kind of flutter he’d felt as a child when there was a tree and real presents for Christmas or the few times he had a birthday with a cake and candles.
“I thought we’d visit the Marché Bastille and the Bibliothèque Sainte Geneviève. I can’t think of a more beautiful market or library in the world,” Roman said. His arms slid around Quinn as he turned him into a waltz and they drifted down the deck.
“Really?” Quinn asked breathlessly and Roman hummed as he pecked at his lips.
“My place in the city has a spectacular kitchen, you can cook anything you want,” he said and Quinn couldn’t take it. He laughed as he shushed Roman and wound his arms around his neck.
“This doesn’t feel real and I’m getting overwhelmed. I was starting to believe I’d never find Jayce or have closure and then I found you. You saved my life, found out what happened to Jayce and you’ve made me happier than I ever thought was possible,” he said and Roman’s eyes sparkled as they held his.
“Think bigger, this is just the beginning,” he promised then caught his chin and kissed him. Mr. Bishop began to sing and Roman raised his head and hissed sheepishly. “I think it’s time I showed you that suite,” he said and Quinn nodded.
“I think so too,” he murmured as he found Roman’s earlobe and nibbled. He didn’t care about Darlington anymore. “I’m ready to make really good use of those mirrors and my tongue.”
“Good Lord, Quinn.”
Chapter 26
Roman watched from behind the two way mirror as Jayce was led into the room. He barely resembled Quinn or the young man he vaguely remembered from the house party. He was emaciated and pale and was lost in soiled grey sweats and cheap plastic sandals swallowed his feet. His eyes looked larger and drier as they darted around the small interview room anxiously. He’d bathed but it wasn’t
enough to remove the months of filth he’d survived in.
Jayce Waverly could be the biggest lie Roman ever told. He rocked and shivered in his chair anxiously as he waited and Roman was terrified of him. The only thing Roman wanted in the world was Quinn and he could lose him because he’d found Jayce. At the moment, it was just an omission. It took less than a day to have Jayce found and removed and it was just another day before he was on a plane back to England but Roman felt more and more dread as he tracked Jayce’s progress. Now that he was in London, Roman had a very difficult decision to make.
Quinn was safe and he was letting go. He was learning how to function and live without his twin and he was nearly to the stage of grief that brought acceptance. Roman could hold his hand and help Quinn build a new life, free of the pain and disappointment of living with an addict. All he had to do was tell Quinn his brother wasn’t there anymore. Technically, he wasn’t. He could make Jayce go away and Quinn would mourn his brother gently instead of returning to the endless cycle of hope, worry, disappointment, fear and helplessness that only stopped at death. There wasn’t a lie Roman wouldn’t tell to protect Quinn from finding his brother dead of an overdose. He wouldn’t lose a moment of sleep if it spared him that horror.
The old Roman wouldn’t have hesitated because he was like Darius and would cross any line for his family and those he loved. Now, he understood how Jayce could be trapped in his illness and how impossible it was when it was just you against your body. No one could help you or give you strength, all you had was what you found within yourself and sometimes, there just wasn’t anything there. He vowed to offer Jayce mercy because it was all Roman could give him but it was also the only thing he could use. It was a terrible gamble and it could cost Roman everything but he owed Jayce and he would do everything within his power to help him. He prayed Quinn could forgive him if he failed.
“It could be worse,” Roman reminded himself. He turned from the mirror and said a prayer as he went to the door. It opened and Jayce jumped to his feet and gasped in shock as Roman entered with two officers behind him.
“Roman! I didn’t know you were…” He stopped when Roman tapped his finger against his lips.
“I’ll explain in a moment,” he said gently then waited as Jayce’s handcuffs were removed then gestured for him to take a seat. Jayce’s eyes were huge and adoring as they clung to Roman’s face as he sat and waited for the guards to leave. He reached across the table as soon as the door shut but Roman leaned back and held up a hand. “Please, calm down. You’re free but we’re going to have a talk before you leave this room,” he warned but Jayce nodded quickly and eagerly.
“Of course! I can’t believe you’re here. I went back to find you but you weren’t there. I thought you forgot about me,” he said and Roman nodded.
“I did,” he said and Jayce’s face fell.
“What? Why are you here if…”
“Quinn,” Roman said. Jayce’s face softened and he swallowed hard.
“Does he know where I’ve been, that I’m not…” His voice broke again and Roman shook his head.
“I haven’t told him yet. I’m not sure if he should know you’re alive,” he said and Jayce was still for a moment then nodded. “He’s making peace with the possibility that you’re dead. Personally, I’d rather see him through that than watch you disappoint him again and again until you’ve finally killed yourself,” he explained and Jayce’s head hung as he studied his hands. They trembled and his fingers tapped and twitched. He wasn’t clean. The black tar heroin he survived on while he was in prison was nearly burned out of his system and he was in the early stages of withdrawal. “He asked me for help,” he said and Jayce’s head snapped up and he looked scared.
“How did he find you?” He asked and Roman saw the self-loathing and regret on his face and in his eyes.
“He put on your clothes and pretended to be like you and looked for you in places he didn’t belong. He risked his life and exposed himself to our world so he could save you,” he explained and Jayce looked ill. Roman felt a hint of hope as Jayce sniffed hard and cleared his throat.
“Thank you for helping him and for everything you’ve done to help me. I know I don’t deserve any of it,” he said weakly.
“No. You don’t deserve his help but you deserve mine,” Roman said and Jayce looked wary. “I’ve taken care of the charges and you’re a free man, Jayce. I will give you £1 million pounds if you walk out of here and never speak to him again. You can never contact him. If you go through that money without killing yourself and make any attempt to contact him, I swear, I will have you killed before you finish dialing his number.” He watched as Jayce fantasized, as his mind and his body began to seek the highest and purest of highs. But he saw Quinn’s refection in Jayce’s eyes and for a moment they were full of light. Roman silently begged Jayce to reach for it and make the right choice because if his gamble failed, he could lose Quinn. “You take that money and your freedom and you die in peace. You leave Quinn alone and let him live his life,” he stated slowly and firmly. Tears pooled in Jayce’s eyes and he shook his head quickly.
“No. What if I don’t take the money? What if I don’t want it and I just want my brother back?” He asked hoarsely and Roman let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as he sat forward and rested his elbows on the table.
“Then I will do whatever it takes to help you get clean and stay clean, as long as you’re going to do the hard work and make all of this up to him.”
Chapter 27
“We’re almost there. Calm down,” Roman complained as he turned a page and Quinn snorted. He didn’t know Roman had an estate in the country until they were leaving London. He was confused as Roman pushed him out of bed after breakfast, into the shower then rushed him out the door and into the car. He’d been quiet and evasive most of the trip and Quinn was about to explode. The curiosity was killing him, his patience was just about gone.
“I hope it’s eery and super gothic,” Quinn said as he craned his neck so he could see around Roman.
“Why?” He asked dryly.
“Because. You’re kind of like a vampire and it would be strange if you had this quaint little country estate,” Quinn explained and Roman’s brows pulled together.
“Why do you keep saying that and why would I want to live someplace eery?” He asked and Quinn reached for his cheek to say something teasing and sweet but his jaw fell open as he leaned.
“What is thaaaaat?” He demanded and pointed out the window as Battenleigh Park came into view. The car turned at the end of a winding drive through acres of forest that gave way to a perfectly manicured park and a massive Tudor house. If a palace could be considered a house. The limestone bricks were honey colored and the house rested serenely as rose covered vines and sprawling gardens surrounded it.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Roman murmured as he tossed his book on the opposite seat and Quinn looked at him in confusion then shook his head.
“Why would I be disappointed? That’s insane! Why don’t you live here all the time?” He asked as the car came to a halt then threw off his seatbelt as Mr. Bishop got out to get Roman’s door.
“It’s not quite appropriate for a vampire,” Roman said as he stepped out but Quinn ignored him as he pushed open his door. He hurried around the car and Roman hissed as he straightened his sleeves then buttoned his coat. “And it’s quite dull, when it’s just me. I keep my horses here,” he added and Quinn rolled his eyes then smiled and looked up the steps as the front door opened. His heart stopped and the world was gone as Quinn’s eyes met Jayce’s. They burned as they filled with tears and he lost the feeling in his legs.
“What are you…?” His legs buckled and Roman’s arm hooked around him as Jayce ran down the steps. He was frail and stumbled as he sobbed Quinn’s name. “When and how?” Quinn demanded as his arms closed around his brother and he couldn’t hear as his heart thrashed in his chest and they cr
ied. It took several minutes of joyful screaming and there were going to be bruises on Quinn’s arms, he pinched himself so hard and so many times.