by Lexy Wolfe
Considering the implied question, Nolyn shrugged. "I do not know how, I just did it. I had to." He tightened his arms around her. "I could not let you die. Not like that."
"There are worse ways to die," she stated matter-of-factly. "The su'dinnais could have devoured my spirit and I would have been gone forever."
"That would only have happened if it had defeated you. To die after you saved me? I could not live with that, Kiya. My master Bennu had died after saving my life." He closed his eyes, looking away. At a light touch of her fingers on his chin, he looked back down at her eerie silvery gaze.
"You must release me, Nolyn Lirai. I must go back," Kiya whispered. "Into the dreamscape and cross the blade."
Nolyn's embrace nearly crushed her. "No! No, you can't let yourself die, Kiya. Please, no. You can't—" Her cold, light fingers covered his lips, hushing him.
"Not to die. I am..." She pressed her lips together. "I do not know how to explain. You pulled me back, but I am not..." Her head rested on his shoulder. "You hold me here, but you must let go. I must return to myself properly or the imbalance will kill us both. I do not want that."
"Let you go? I am not even sure how I am holding you!" He held her tighter, his whisper agonized. "I just know I do not want to lose you."
Kiya tilted her head. "You are afraid?" He nodded almost imperceptibly. "Come with me then. We will finish this together and we will both be whole." Opening his mouth to speak, Nolyn just closed it again, nodding. Helping her sit across his lap again, he agonized over the obvious pain she suffered just moving, tortured more by her agony than the echo he felt
Before their foreheads touched, Nolyn murmured, "Wait." He tilted his head and touched her lips with his in a gentle kiss. "That time, I meant to kiss you." She smiled almost shyly before their foreheads touched and the world without vanished in a flash of blinding light.
Chapter 47
Blinking several times, Nolyn looked around at the idyllic serenity around him. Gone were the nightmarish shadows and oppressiveness, replaced with a tranquil, twilit forest. He looked down when he felt his hand squeezed and he felt his jaw drop at the sight of Kiya. "You are..." he started to say, his words drifting off.
Feathery wings fanned from her back, her appearance not quite human, but she was as alluringly beautiful as she was in the waking world. "Yes, I am human," she assured. "But when we cross the blade, we cannot keep our living shape, else we would be unable to return. In death we are unchanging. It is almost an affirmation of our living that we change to enter the unchanging realm. This is the form I adopt when I cross the blade." She lifted his hand, kissing his knuckles as he often had hers. "It is not a form meant to be on this side."
"The pain... the cold..." Nolyn looked worried. "It was what you feel because I pulled you across? I caused that?" She nodded. "Kiya, forgive me. I had no idea...!"
"There is nothing to forgive! When you caught me, you held me to life. You were my strength when I was too weak to continue alone. I am grateful for that."
"You do not want to die?" he asked, unsure how to ask the question and not be insulting.
"Of course not." Kiya tilted her head. "Just because we Desanti are ready for death and live with death around us does not mean we do not wish to live. But now, you must release me so I may return the way I should."
Nolyn frowned in concern. "Are you sure you are ready? You are rested enough?"
Kiya laughed merrily. "Come, Nolyn. If you must be present to reassure yourself, I accept that." They followed the familiar trail, the twilight seeming to wax towards night. When they reached the border, Nolyn could only stare. In the darkness beyond glittered innumerable points of light of many sizes and colors. Glowing streaks raced across the darkness, chasing one another. "That... is the spirit domain. And those?" She pointed to a trio of shooting stars. "We call them the warriors of heaven. Where we are is the hazy region between the physical world and the spirit realm. We call it the dreamscape."
"That is what... death looks like?" he whispered. "It is... beautiful. So peaceful."
Kiya gazed into the darkness. "Across the blade it is nearly timeless. Unchanging. I enjoy visiting it and those on that side, but I would go mad if I had to stay there." She looked sideways at him. "You must let me go now." His hand tightened briefly before he released her with great reluctance. With a sigh of relief, she dived across the border as if it were a body of water and spread her wings.
Nolyn's heart lurched, both to witness her utter joy in her freedom, and panic that she was not returning. "Kiya!" he called, reaching out towards her.
"Give her a moment," a familiar male voice said nearby. "She will not go back on her word to you. She just needs to stretch her wings, so to speak. Celebrate her victory over the enemy."
Nolyn gaped, reaching out a shaking hand to touch the robed shoulder of the man standing before him, standing straight and proud, but not as aged as he had been in life. "...Master Bennu?"
Amused, Bennu tsked. "You are a master now, dear boy. We are equals. You need not call me master." The two paused a moment before they bear hugged one another. Bennu thumped Nolyn's back before they parted. "It is good I am on this side of life, else my heart would have stopped a dozen times at least within the last year alone." He wagged a finger at Nolyn. "You take too many risks!"
"You... have been watching me?" Nolyn asked, shocked.
The spirit nodded. "You and my grandson and my brother, of course. Goddess knows I have wanted to smack Ellis several times in how he mishandled things with Ash. Trying to trick him into marrying that girl?" He shook his head. "I could have told him Ash would do just the opposite, rebel that he is. If I had known about the Desanti's spiritwalkers sooner, I would have tried to get one up here to talk some sense into him."
"If you are here... that means... you haven't been reborn yet," Nolyn said slowly. Looking worried, he asked, "There isn't a problem, is there?"
Bennu waved a hand, dismissing Nolyn's worries. "It is rare for one to be reborn soon after death. Accepting being here is difficult sometimes. And? I am not ready to be reborn. I knew my death affected the three of you deeply, and I wanted nothing more than to let you know that I was all right, but I could not. It was like watching you through a glass wall, being unable to reach you when you were in need."
Bennu looked out into the star-speckled void. "When Ash followed that Dusvet Guardian, I followed him and discovered Desantiva." He paused and corrected himself. "More like, rediscovered Desantiva. It was then I discovered Su'alin and their abilities."
"Ash has been gone for months! Why hadn't—?"
"Why hadn't Kiya come sooner?" Bennu shrugged. "There is a strangeness in how time flows between this realm and the waking world. And there were other... complications." The two looked up as Kiya swooped close and hovered a moment. As she stepped on the ground near Nolyn, her form returned to its normal earthly shape.
Taking Kiya's hands in his, Bennu stated, "It is time for you both to return." He kissed her knuckles with gallant flourish. "Thank you for this time with my student."
"If I could offer this chance to say goodbye to all I have encountered since leaving Desantiva, I would," Kiya said with keen regret. "So many could find peace before they were reborn. Perhaps even be reborn sooner if they allowed themselves to move on."
Nolyn looked at Bennu sharply. "Say goodbye?!"
Chuckling, Bennu shook his head. "I am not going anywhere, Nolyn. I am too invested in the life I left behind, and I want to see it as Bennu still. And I will most certainly continue to watch over everyone for many years to come, do not worry. But neither of us can try to hold onto what we lost. I must accept that my life as Bennu ended when I died and you must move on with your life. This girl is a blessing, but we cannot use her to recapture the past. It would be unfair.
"You have always been like a son to me, even before you and Ash bound your souls to one another. I'm proud of you, Nolyn." He put a hand on Nolyn's shoulder. "Stop second guessing yourse
lf so much. What happened was my fault for not heeding Ash's instincts about the caverns and went to investigate the troubles there. And I pushed you to safety from the cave in because I chose to. You were my student, and a son of my heart. I had to save you. You are not at fault, and you need to stop blaming yourself." He tapped Nolyn's temple. "If you remember nothing else when you awaken, remember that."
Nolyn managed a wan smile. "Yes, Ma— Yes, Bennu." The man nodded with satisfaction and turned to step across the border back to death's side. Unlike Kiya, his form did not change. He looked back once before he disappeared, moving away in a streak of light.
Kiya turned to Nolyn, putting her arms around his neck. "It is time to wake up," she whispered. After a brief kiss, she stepped back and he felt himself drawn away.
In the waking world, Nolyn blinked several times to reorient himself, then looked at the slight woman in his arms. Bright gold eyes fading to tawny brown, Kiya smiled, then shifted, resting her head on his shoulder and falling asleep. Tension gone, Nolyn closed his eyes, not noticing as Seeker drew the blankets up around the pair before closing the door behind him.
Chapter 48
As the pair walked through the archway of Naveene's Rest from the main landing, the crowded main room fell silent as they stared. Valerian smiled, looking at the Desanti woman at his side. "You cause quite a stir wherever you go, don't you, Su'alin Kiya?"
"As I have said before, outlanders do not know what to think about Desanti." She glanced up at him sideways. "They have less idea what to think about me."
The Unsvet Guardian chuckled as conversations slowly resumed, most of it about her. "You enjoy it, don't you?"
He could hear the smile in her voice falter a fraction. "I have known little else. Su'alin are seen much the same by my own people. Any who master the sacred Paths are respected… and feared. But while everyone understands the physical arts, few embrace the spiritual ones in a way they know how to challenge us."
He looked down at her for a moment. "It sounds… lonely."
"I have known no other life," she stated. He started to open his mouth to say something, unsure what to say, when Naveene emerged and threw his arms out in a warm, expansive greeting. Kiya, in turn, bowed in respect to him. "Thank you for your warm welcome, Master Naveene."
"Psh! Master? I am merely a lowly servant, here to attend to the hearts and minds of the elite within Ithesra." Naveene held out his hand, taking her delicate hand to kiss the knuckles. Hesitating a moment, she lifted her veil to expose her face, causing a stir among the patrons anew. Naveene grinned hugely. "My dear, yours is a beauty that could make the most delicate orchid blush with envy."
Flicking a glance at Valerian who smiled gently and nodded in encouragement, Kiya replied, "You are very kind to say so, Mas- Naveene." She glanced around. "The Se'edai Magus had asked me to meet with him here?"
"Oh, yes! Of course. Do forgive me, my dear. I was so distracted by such a precious jewel from the desert, I utterly forgot myself!" The man waved and turned towards the stairs that led to an upper level that looked out on the main room. "Please, come, come. He is awaiting you at his private table."
Kiya blinked a bit and glanced sideways at Valerian, asking in Desanti, "He called me a colored stone?"
Valerian suppressed outright laughter. "Northerners are quite enchanted with shiny things like soft metals and colored stones, usually for ornamentation. They are extremely rare here, so the more one has, the more wealth they display with them."
"Strange," Kiya mused aloud. "We use them for ornamentation, too, but we do not consider them important. The metals are too soft to be useful for much else and the stones shatter too easily." She shook her head as she lamented to Valerian's vast amusement, "Outlanders have such strange values of worth."
"You will find no argument from me," Valerian replied. As they approached the table Ellis sat at, the Vodani Unsvet Guardian offered a deep bow. "As you asked, I escorted Su'alin Kiya na'Citali through the wilds and warrens of the most glorious city, Ithesra of Verusia, to share the finest repast in all the lands in the most noblest company." He added as he offered a bow in deference to Kiya, "Except perhaps of Desantiva." Kiya arched an eyebrow at Valerian, oblivious to Naveene's puffed up pride and the crinkles of amusement around Ellis's eyes.
"And now, I will go embark on an adventure of a drink and talk, all the while envying you the company of such wonderous physical beauty and spiritual strength, Se'edai Magus Ellis Avarian." With another bow, Valerian walked away. Naveene followed shortly with promises of the finest the house had to offer.
"I see Unsvet Valerian has been practicing his court etiquette," Ellis observed in answer to Kiya's unspoken bewilderment as he stood to greet her.
"Grandfather said your people had a fondness for talking." As she settled, she reached up to lower her veil again. "I had no idea he did not exaggerate how much."
She paused at a stopping gesture from Ellis. "Please, there is no need to hide your face here, Su'alin Kiya. I prefer to meet the eyes of the ones I speak with."
After several moments, she lowered her hands to the table, clasping them lightly. "It is tradition for Su'alin to shield their eyes from the world. We do not wish to inspire fear."
Ellis shook his head. "My dear, while I may not appear so, I have seen many, many years. I have watched many friends and family die in horrible ways, suffer from terrible things. The goddess has seen fit to bless us with Her oracle once more." He offered a gentle smile. "And I have seen you save the life of a man I consider as much my son as a friend. I have no fear in my heart in your company."
Kiya lowered her eyes shyly for a moment, then looked up again, squaring her shoulders. "You honor me, Se'edai Magus Ellis Avarian. Thank you."
"Tell me," Ellis asked in a low voice as he leaned forward. "How is Nolyn? Is he recovering? I have heard nothing since the… incident."
"He sleeps still," Kiya replied. "Though you could not see the wounds, they were severe and he must heal still." She sighed, looking away as though ashamed she worried so openly. "Miss Kelafy assures me he is only sleeps, not hovering near death. It is hard for me to see the difference. I asked the Swordanzen to stand guard over him while I came to you." She added after some hesitation, "Many Desanti, if they sleep beyond the rise and fall of the daystar, they never awaken. Scavengers would come for them first." He smiled and patted her hand in reassurance over her worry for Nolyn.
Both fell silent as a serving girl approached with a bottle of wine and a pair of glasses. She poured for them both, taking a sip from Kiya's glass before departing. Kiya blinked, surprised at the Desanti courtesy, and took her glass. "Naveene prides himself on servants who can attend to the needs of all, and do so in the traditions they hold dear." He added, "Miss Kelafy had been very insistent they learn when you first arrived."
Kiya was silent for a time. "In Desantiva, we are all raised with the memory of the hatred of outlanders for us. Many believe nothing has changed since the Great War except the faces of our enemies." She looked up at him. "It is very strange to us. There is distrust, but not as much hatred as we expected."
Ellis considered her words. "I am uncertain whether this pleases you or not," he admitted. "You almost sound disappointed."
She held up her hand. "In Desantiva, there is very little that is unexpected. Those of us who follow one of the sacred Paths, especially those who follow the Path of the Sword, learn the patterns of Desantiva. When things are not as expected, we must adapt. After so many, many generations, it is… not something we are used to having to do. It is… unsettling."
He tilted his head to the side, puzzled. "You are afraid of the unexpected?"
"We are afraid if we do not adapt in a way that pleases our great father, He will punish us," Kiya qualified. "And our great father is often merciless in His wrath. The patterns must be maintained for our people and for Desantiva itself to survive. It is one of the most sacred edicts of our people."
"I see," Ellis said, thoughtf
ul. He settled back in his chair, studying her. "Do your people not wish things to change? For there to be peace between the warriors and the mages?"
"I cannot speak for all of my people," Kiya answered, her eyes still on the glass in her hands. "The hatred between us is older than the length of time since the Great War. But…" She looked away, her cheeks darkening ever so slightly. "…it would please me if the mages and warriors were no longer hated enemies."
Ellis refrained from speaking as the server returned with a tray filled with platters of food. After she set the empty plates in front of Ellis and Kiya with utensils, she curtsied and left them alone again. He frowned at her expression. "Is there something that distresses you about our meal?"
"It is so much! The amount on that plate alone could feed a small tribe for a day," she said in a hushed voice. "And we are just two. I am still unused to… dishonoring that which gave their lives for our sustenance being so dishonored by wasting so much."
Making a sound of sudden comprehension, Ellis assured, "Naveene can ensure whatever is leftover is properly packed so you may take it back to share with your kinsmen. To thank them for allowing you out of their sight for a little while to speak in private with me." He smiled, warmed by her brightening expression filled with gratitude. His deameanor became rueful as he looked at the meal. "I suppose in comparison to your people, we are gluttons."
"You are blessed with plenty," Kiya pointed out. "I would not expect you to limit yourselves because there is no need to."
Ellis glanced over the rail to the main room, his eyes falling on a few of the more ample patrons. "Oh, there is need, but that is nothing for you to concern yourself with, my dear. I wished to discuss matters of diplomacy between our peoples with you."
"Diplomacy?" Kiya asked in some surprise.
"Indeed." He took a bite of food, waiting until he swallowed before speaking again. "Your people do… know what diplomacy is?" he asked, suddenly thinking the concept might well be foreign to the warrior folk.