by Lexy Wolfe
"Freeing you? You are implying that savage helped you somehow? When no mage has been able to help those afflicted by—" Eptina glowered, arms crossed and drumming her fingers on her arm as she stared intently at Nolyn. After several minutes, she unfolded her arms and approached him, her light fingers tracing the lines of his face. "You are looking much better. But how could a magicless Desanti do anything to help you?"
Starting to open his mouth to explain a Su'alin's ability, blood magic, and some of the other things he discovered, Nolyn felt a surge of anxiety tightening his chest. Grimacing, he turned away from Eptina and went to the cabinet to pour drinks, keeping his back to the woman. The moment he chose not to reveal what he had learned of Desanti's secrets, the anxiety and tightness eased. "I have no idea, but she had," he stated tightly. "But however she managed it, I am grateful beyond words. The nightmares were becoming more than I could endure and still function."
She accepted the glass, lips pressed together. "You should have your apprentice here to serve us." Her eyes reflected surprise when Nolyn put his free arm around her waist and he pulled her close, kissing her gently. Before she could relax into the kiss, he released her. "Master Nolyn," she began.
He smiled, saying quietly, "Thank you for contacting my brother Bethal to come after me. You were right; I should not have gone with only my apprentice. It was a miracle that we were not both killed." Nolyn sat in one of the single chairs, waving her to sit as well. "I let my pride overshadow good sense."
Her gratitude that no one was there to witness her flustered blush obvious, Eptina sat with her eyes on her drink. "I cannot blame you for not believing me. I suppose I had not truly earned your trust. Or... anyone's."
"Trust is a precious thing," Nolyn murmured, watching her expression. "It must be earned through deed and behavior, not by words and titles. And not by relying solely on bloodlines and family names. We are Edai Magi, Eptina. The Knowing One may not have chosen you to be Her Edai, but She has given you the chance to earn Her trust. And the people's." He caught her gaze when she looked up at him. "Not just Forenten. The people of the world."
She looked away with a heavy sigh. "Including the Desanti?" she stated more than asked.
"Especially Desanti," Nolyn affirmed. "Our people did a horrible thing to them during the Great War. Whoever or whatever started the war of differences between us and them, we should never have tried to destroy them because we are all a part of the great balance. We each have our own strengths, Eptina. If we can embrace them, we are all stronger for it."
Eptina sighed heavily. "I will make the attempt. For you." She looked up, still seeming annoyed. "Do you suppose this girl can help those who are still afflicted as you had been?"
Nolyn shrugged. "I imagine so. You should ask her."
"Me?" Eptina's cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "She will just mock me for being weak."
"I don't think she will," Nolyn replied, his tone gentle. "Not in this matter, at least. Su'alin and Swordanzen, from what I have observed, take their duty to a level of seriousness that makes the Se'edai Magus look like a hobbyist. I could not speak on other matters about her, though. I would point out that Desanti tend to be very... literal when they speak and act. You should not let anything she says rile you up so much."
"So she is not trying to goad me when she speaks of sleeping with you?" Eptina asked, an edge to her tones. "If it were not so preposterous, it sounds like she is trying to stake a claim on you like some animal."
The man wisely did not point out Kiya did not need to prevaricate, given how easily the truth framed in a particular turn of phrase had the same effect on the Forentan woman. "Trust me," Nolyn said with a put upon sigh. "When she first spoke of spending the night with me, we were talking until I fell asleep where I sat. Her presence gave me the first night of decent sleep since before I headed to Andar. Her company kept whatever was afflicting me at bay."
"And the second time she spoke of sleeping with you..."
"She had freed me of the thing that was literally sucking the life out of me. We were both so exhausted, we fell asleep right then and there. I was out for nearly three days." Nolyn drained his glass. "I suppose I needed time to recover fully. I do apologize I took so long."
Eptina shook her head. "No apologies necessary, Master Nolyn. I am relieved to know you are well once more." Running her finger along the rim of the glass, she asked after several moments, "When do you plan to return to Quoesia?"
"I am not certain. The efforts of Unsvet Valerian have given us the boon of time to try to plan. If nothing else, I intend to see about properly shoring up the barrier around Andar to keep whatever is in Andar inside and people out as it should. The Unsvet Guardian's method is a temporary measure and will not last." He held his hand out to Eptina. "May I count on your help when it is time?"
"After everything that has happened, you would still ask me for my help?" Closing her eyes, she looked away. "If it were not for that woodsman who made me promise to do something, I might not have—"
"It does not matter if Ursin goaded you into it or not. You know as well as I, if it had been one of the other Edai, they likely would have ignored him. Out of pride or ignorance or whatever other ulterior motives they might have in their twisted heads." He leaned forward. "But you did not do that. You chose to honor the agreement you made with him. You came to me for help instead of letting the problem get worse and pretending there wasn't anything wrong.
"And you kept me from getting myself and my apprentice killed by warning my brother so he would come find me. Even if only you and I know who sent that note. Nothing made you do that, you chose to act." Nolyn smiled crookedly. "No matter what face you put forward for high society, I know in your heart you are a true disciple of the Knowing One, just like the Se'edai Magus, the Illaini, and I are. The others... they are still in doubt."
Slipping her hand into his, she said in a low voice, "Of course I will join you. But I am... not as strong as you."
"I am not as strong as I could be, either," Nolyn admitted. "I prefer to use magic only when absolutely necessary. If there is a means to do something without it, I would do it that way." He shrugged. "Illaini Magus Ash would scold me often that I should exercise my abilities more. Hopefully, between the two of us, we will be enough to attend the task of undoing the damage that has been done."
Eptina looked troubled. "And if we are not enough?"
Nolyn kissed the back of her hand lightly. "Think positive, my lovely Eptina."
"You confuse me, Master Nolyn," Eptina stated in a low voice. "I have been very... plain in my desires towards you. You, however." She drew her hand out of his. "I cannot tell if you feel the same towards me or not. One moment you are cold and distant. And then the next you are warm and kind." Reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she asked shyly, "Do you not find me attractive?"
"You know very well I find you attractive," Nolyn replied with a bit more terseness than he intended. "But I know how every word, every look, or even lack of those are used to insinuate intention and create scandal. It's how high society works. The great game." He knocked back the last of his drink. "You also know how I loathe high society. I chose to be a guardsman very intentionally, not because I was lacking in wit or ability. I just didn't want to deal with it."
The woman leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "That is what I have found so alluring about you, Master Nolyn. Your dedication to the goddess's Edai is second only to Illaini Magus Ash Avarian. Perhaps if we all focused less on the vagaries of high society, we might all have the strength and ability they still tell stories about our predecessors."
Nolyn shrugged. "Our society is what it is. We can only navigate the branches, not uproot the tree entirely." He took her empty glass and went to refill them both. "I would not ask anyone to change who they are to suit me."
"Even if she were willing to change?" Eptina asked in such a soft voice, Nolyn almost did not hear her. Nolyn paused, glancing over his shoulder. He
inhaled, feeling her hands on his back as she rested her cheek against him. "We both managed to attain our masteries before our families could arrange political marriages for us."
"The Lirai are barely considered highborn," he said, eyes closed as he held very still. "You must know that my family sent me away to the Magus Academy when I was very young. The Avarians took me in as their ward. I was an orphan with a family name. Growing up with Ash as a ward of the Avarian family, my heart is more Avarian than Lirai."
"If you chose to become Dyndrai, you could leave the burden of being from such a low ranking family and—"
"I do not hate the Lirai. They are still my family." Nolyn turned, his fingers beneath her chin to tilt her head up, meeting her eyes. "I know the game well enough, Eptina. Joining your family would give the Dyndrai undue influence. And your father despises me. I like my peace between crises. And gods know what Kerburn's wrath would be if you even voiced joining the Lirai." He covered her lips with his fingers. "No. I would not be a fitting husband for you. You deserve someone more suitable. We Edai Magi must be able to remain objective, and marriage makes objectivity near impossible."
Eptina scowled and turned away. "It is that desert savage, isn't it? You are more attracted to her than me."
"I won't lie to you, Eptina. You deserve better than deceit and court games." Nolyn sighed gustily. "I do find Su'alin Kiya... beautiful." He put his hands on Eptina's shoulders. "When you are not wearing your court mask, I find you very beautiful. Were neither of us part of the Edai Tredecima, I would certainly consider asking you to be my wife." He let his hands fall away as she took a few steps from him. "If Kiya has any advantage over you, it is she is outside Forentan society. Like me."
"Perhaps, Master Nolyn," Eptina stated archly, looking over her shoulder, "you should stop trying so hard to be outside society and try being a part of it. For all that we highborn had made things difficult for Illaini Magus Ash, he at least did that much." At the door, she paused. "I must return to Quoesia before Father stirs up more trouble. Please send word to me through the woodsmen when you are planning to return. I do not trust that Father has not sullied the lines of communication we normally depend on." She touched his cheek lightly. "Do not return to Quoesia or Andar without me."
"Don't worry, Master Eptina. I learned my lesson. I know better than to try to attempt to do all of this alone." He took her hand, kissing the back of her knuckles. "Besides, I have my own business to attend to here. I need to get others into my circle to attend to the day to day business for Verusia. Then there's the business for Verusia itself until I get my circle established. And the research into the… Andarian issue. On top of that, Ellis wants my help with the Desanti. He wishes to negotiate with them to take over the lessons that the Githalin Swordanzen left hanging when they departed with the Dusvet Guardian."
"I understand. You do have to catch up on the tasks to settle in." She shrugged. "If you'd been groomed to be Edai, as most of us had, though, you probably would not be adequate for the tasks you do handle more adeptly than the rest of us."
Nolyn looked chagrined. "Yes, there is that. However, I would enjoy sharing a meal with you at Naveene's Rest when you are next in Ithesra. Perhaps I will have more insight into our shared problem."
"I look forward to that dinner, Edai Magus Nolyn. Until then." She leaned close, kissing him. He responded, putting his arms around her briefly, then releasing her, brushing her cheek lightly. The woman smiled, straightening with pride and draping her veil over her hair again as she left. He hesitated a moment, frowning as he looked at the empty common room archway before he headed back down the master's hall.
Chapter 51
From the shadows of the residential hall, Kiya turned away from watching Nolyn and Eptina kiss, fleeing back to her suite at a run. With all four of her protectors outside training, she took advantage of the solitude and sank to the floor, covering her face as tearless sobbing overwhelmed her. "I was such a fool," she lamented. "How could I let myself believe he was any different than other defilers?"
Nolyn is different. Manifesting himself, Bennu knelt beside her, his expression filled with concern. He cares for you. I know he does. Do not let the actions of that snip of a woman get to you. Nolyn is not fool enough to—
"Get away from me, Bennu Avarian," she whispered harshly. "I will not be deceived by your outlander lies any longer."
The spirit drew back, stung by the accusation. Lies? I have not lied to you, Kiya. He held his hand towards her beseechingly. Please, call me Grand—
"No! I will not call you grandfather because you are not family to me!" Her pure gold eyes flashed, glistening with unshed tears. "You are nothing but a guide, and you do that only because you want to use me to ease your conscience before you enter the rebirth cycle. It is how defilers have always seen everyone and everything around them. Something to use until it is of no more use, then it is cast aside. Broken inside and out."
Bennu reached out towards her, flinching back when she lashed out at him, her fingernails grazing his hand. He looked at the injury, realizing she had the power to harm him and held his hand against his chest, staying well out of arm and weapon reach. He frowned, his pride pricked by her words. If you believe I am using you for my own reasons, then you are using me for yours. To find your Githalin Swordanzen. But whatever our reasons for using each other or just… working together… it is possible for us to have become friends. He reached towards her again beseechingly. It does not mean I do not care about you. Or that Nolyn does not care about you. Life is complicated in Forenta.
"Defilers! You are children of defilers. All of you. I do not need you anymore, Bennu Avarian. I don't need any of you." She made a sharp gesture. "Be gone. I do not need you."
Bennu grimaced, staggering back a step. Kiya, please, don't— He bit back a cry of pain when she gestured again, fading out of sight.
Seeker burst in, alarmed. When he saw no one else in the room, his put his sword away. "Kiya, what is wrong? I could feel you as if our bayuli-volsha had never been severed!" He knelt on one knee, reaching out to touch her. He hesitated when she flinched away from him. "Please, Sister. You are hurt. You should not be alone with this… this heartbreak."
"No," she snapped, curling into a ball and hiding her face. "I don't need you. I don't need anyone!"
"That is not true," Seeker replied tersely. "We are Desanti. All Desanti need companionship. We need—"
"I am Su'alin! I am damned to walk the living world forever alone with everyone looking at me in terror. I don't need anyone because I am a freak and a monster." Shuddering as she failed to suppress a sob, she said more to herself, "Forever alone." Without a word, Seeker caught her wrist when she drew her Naming Blade. Taking the knife from her hand and sliding it back into its sheath, he pulled her into his arms as she started sobbing again. "I don't need anyone."
The Swordanzen held her tightly as she fought him until she submitted and let him hold her as she sobbed inconsolably. "You cannot even convince yourself of that, Sister," he murmured into her hair, his eyes closed as his heart ached for her. "You will never convince me you do not."
Chapter 52
Nolyn sat at the head of the table with his chin resting in his palm and drumming his fingers on the table, his food untouched. Seated to his right, Marcus ate slowly, casting uncertain glances between his master and the archway to the common room. "Is... is everything okay, Master? You haven't eaten anything."
"Ellis has been concerned because the Desanti have not been seen at the Academy for days. Or anywhere save for their early morning or late night training. It is as if they have gone into seclusion, but have not told anyone they have or why. They have not joined us for a meal for three days. I formally invited them to this one and they still do not emerge." Sitting back in the chair so hard it bounced off of its front feet for a moment, he snatched his glass of wine up, draining half of it. "The only reason I can come up with is I insulted them. Somehow."
Tobias blinked
. "If you think you insulted them, why not just apologize? It seems it would be the easiest solution; even if you don't know what you're apologizing for, they might assume you know. You apologize, they forgive you, everyone is happy. Simple!"
Valerian swirled the wine in his glass before taking a sip, his voice droll. "Remember, Tobias. If things were simple in Forenta, life would be boring."
Waving a hand, Nolyn made a disagreeable sound. "It is never so easy with the desert folk. Desanti don't accept verbal apologies. You should have seen the mess when Ash insulted Githalin Storm. She destroyed the dining room table. And then she'd knocked out one of my guardsmen so... no one ... would see her..." His words slowed as realization dawned, the others trading confused looks. He jumped up. "...leave."
He ran upstairs, bursting through the door to the Desanti's suite. Except for the lack of dust, everything was as it had been before the group had arrived, as if they had never been there. "Gods damn it all," he growled. He ran outside just in time to see the five riding towards one of the ground paths that headed away from Ithesra. "Su'alin Kiya!" He stopped short when the four warriors drew their swords, holding them warningly but not outright attacking him.
Seeker leveled a hateful glare on Nolyn, his drizzen baring its teeth and hissing. "Go away, defiler. You are unwanted."
Nolyn returned the glare, undeterred. He tried to get around the warriors to approach Kiya, but the Swordanzen all shifted to keep him away from the woman they protected. "Su'alin Kiya na'Citali, please. I must speak with you."
Veiled, Kiya did not turn her gaze from a distant point in front of her. "There is nothing to speak about, Edai Magus Nolyn Lirai. We are leaving this place."
"Leaving? Why?" He flashed an annoyed look at the drizzen in front of him. A sharp, angry whack to its nose backed it away a half step but it continued to bare its teeth. "You came here for help in finding the Githalin Swordanzen. If you leave now, you won't succeed in—"