The Fallen One

by Lexy Wolfe

  Ellis and Nolyn traded deeply concerned looks. "Please, Eptina," Nolyn said in a low voice. "What did he say?"

  She closed her eyes. "'Once we have it, I will ensure the Oberlain's failure will be our victory. We won't need them or that rebellious girl.'" She covered her face with both hands. "If the barrier was not breeched until yesterday, then the reports I received… they were lies. They knew I would return to Ithesra. They wanted me gone and out of the way so I could not find out what they… what they—"

  "Master Eptina!" Ellis's sharp voice snapped her out of her moment of despairing panic. Marcus, nearly as pale as Eptina, came over to top off glasses. "Your presence here is not a failure on your part. It has most likely saved your life. And that is something to be used against those who would try to hurt Forenta or turn against the great mother."

  "But I am… I am not as strong as other mages." She hugged herself, a tear coursing down her cheek. "I do not know what help I can be."

  "You are not strong," Nolyn stated. "Neither am I. Alone." He reached out to put his hand on her knee, his voice low and reassuring. "We are strong. Our power had been in working together. We mages have forgotten that."

  Her eyes were wide. "You are talking about… chaining."

  He nodded solemnly. "After the Great War, after the devestation that was wrought, the Tredecima discouraged chaining, or even simply working in tandem, so the disaster that was the Great War could never happen again. Even when it is sanctioned, we hesitate. It is why the Illaini Magus risked death performing the morelmi on his traitorous former student alone. Her punishment was necessary, yet we would have convinced ourselves that avoiding our duty was justified."

  Eptina closed her eyes. "Like I justified my actions since Ysai had appointed me as one of the Edai." Taking a deep breath, she looked at Ellis, her expression grave. "I will not shirk my duty to the Knowing One any longer, Se'edai Magus. Never again."

  Ellis smiled faintly. "Good to hear. But we must proceed with wisdom and caution." He frowned, looking down at his drink. "Even after Valerian shored up the barrier, something or someone tried to get in. Who? The person had to be a higher level mage. And why? What could possibly be so valuable after all this time?"

  "Andar was the seat of power for the Avarian family," Nolyn pointed out, thoughtful. "Could there be anything of value that left behind?"

  Ellis pushed himself to his feet, walking to the hearth to gaze at the flames. "The only thing we felt that had been worthwhile in Andar had been Ash. The whole city was in flames. Imagining the Tree of Knowledge burning had always haunted Bennu and I. But when the goddess tapped me to be Versuia's Edai Magus, I had all our family treasures moved to Ithesra."

  "The only thing that is in Andar is that monster that had been preying on people," Eptina observed.

  "Oh, dear gods." Nolyn sat up straight, eyes wide. "What if that is what Kerburn wants? What if it is this creature?" The other two stared at him with a measure of horror at the idea. "Valerian told me that darklings… they call them time shifters… are not all inherently evil, they are more beastial. Some are even malleable to the influence of a strong will. What if the Dyndrai aren't seeking an alliance with darklings as Ysai and other Oberlains had done but are seeking to control one?"

  "Master," Marcus said as he approached the three mages. "Does that mean we have go to Andar to protect the thing that will try to kill us?" Nolyn did not answer, frowning as he stared at his drink.

  Chapter 66

  Kiya, child. Kiya grimaced at the soft voice in her ear, hugging herself as she turned her face away. I know you can hear me, dear. Stop pretending you cannot. You are not prevented from crossing over to the dreamscape to talk with us. It would be easier to speak with you there than trying to come here so often.

  "What good does hearing you do if I cannot see you?" she whispered. "I am blind in the dreamscape. Anything could prey on me there. How can I know where the edge of the blade is? If I crossed it, I would die. For no reason but an accident!"

  Bennu sighed, putting a ghostly hand on her shoulder. I know, Kiya. I understand. But you can still hear us. We have not abandoned you. None of us have. Please do not be upset with us.

  "You are not what bothers me, Grandfather." Drawing her cloak around herself tighter as she watched the Swordanzen train, she whispered, "I feel as though I have abandoned you. I enjoy the living world, now that I am getting used to it." She closed her eyes, feeling his hand on her cheek. "I feel guilty because you have lost this."

  Yes, we lost the living world. I do miss it terribly. Not being able to feel the warmth of the sun, the touch of the breeze or the company of those we love… but it is not forbidden to me, either. One day, I will know it again. He paused briefly. I can remember other lives I have lived, if dimly. The more I remember them, the less I can touch the physical world.

  "That is how it should be," Kiya murmured, eyes following the warriors. "When you are ready, you will be reborn and know the living world again." She turned a sad smile to the spirit sitting by her side. "I wish I could have known you when you were alive. You seem like you were very wise man. For a Forentan."

  He returned the smile, putting his hand on her arm in a comforting gesture. I am glad you do not consider me a 'defiler' any longer. My family was as much a victim of the Great War as yours were. Though we did not suffer the indignity of being stripped of magic. She closed her eyes, bowing her head. Have you decided? If you wish to still be Su'alin?

  "I do not know," she agonized. "I have enjoyed… living. I am not a Swordanzen. I will never be that strong physically. But…" Sighing heavily, she shook her head. "If I become Su'alin again, there will be no more playing chase with the others. No more weaving beads. No talking with people to learn about them."

  Why not?

  Kiya looked startled. "What do you mean? That is what following the Path of the Spirit is. To step off the Path would be an insult to my ancestors and an affront to the Totani and our great father." Bennu was silent, but she could see his expression of skepticism. "I am not lying to you! That is how I was taught."

  That is how your Alanis Su'alin taught you, dear child. I do not know how it is among the Desanti. But in Forenta and Sevmana, a master is one who has learned all the existing teachings and techniques and is ready to discover new ones, to ensure that the old ones are still relevant. He squeezed her shoulder lightly. You are a master of your art.

  "I was a master. A Su'alin can be physically blind, but to lose the spirit sight…" She shook her head. "I cannot serve my people blinded. It is why my brother could not—"

  Then speak to your Totani, Kiya. He has been waiting for you.

  "Citali? He has not abandoned me for my failure? For my indecision?"

  Bah. You are no failure, Kiya of Citali's tribe. Far from it. He would never abandon you. In fact, he has been waiting on you to call him.

  She looked down. "I can't… I… I don't know… what to say."

  Bennu smiled gently, looking at her profile. You are Desanti, child. Say what is in your heart.

  Chapter 67

  The servants brought out the platters of food and poured drinks for the four mages after their private meeting. They looked up with no small amount of relief when Valerian emerged with Tobias and Ana in attendance. Still sickly pale and face drawn with exhaustion, he managed a cheerful smile. "I have not been fawned over this much since I saved the twins sixty years ago." He sighed happily as he reminisced. "Lovely girls, they were."

  Eptina coughed delicately, the men looked amused, and the servants giggled or chuckled as they served him. "Is being such a charming rogue a Vodani trait?" Kelafy wondered, putting her hands on her hips.

  Valerian offered her an innocent look. "Whyever would you ask such a thing, Miss Kelafy?"

  "Oh, I don't know. You reminded me of a certain master bard that traveled with the Dusvet Guardian."

  "Oh, bards are the worst kind of rogue," Valerian replied with airy nonchanlance as he lifted his glass in a to
asting gesture. "Not only charming, but they know every romantic ballad from the furthest inland borders to the furthest coast. It is terribly unfair."

  "Oh, yes," Ellis replied in droll tones. "Terribly."

  Brushing his fingers at the white hair at his temples, the Unsvet Guardian mused, "Maybe now that I look more distinguished, the Forentan lasses might warm to me more readily."

  Ana brought the bottle over to top his wine off. "I just worry about you, Unsvet Valerian," she said, her voice hushed. He merely smiled, patting her hand before sending her off to return to assisting the others in the kitchen.

  "So, I did not expect to see such august company at supper this evening." He offered a cordial nod to Ellis and Eptina both, which each returned in kind. "Had I missed anything exciting while Tobias was making sure my insides didn't split open?"

  The mages traded inscruitable looks. "I am planning on escorting Edai Magus Eptina back to Quoesia," Nolyn replied. "I was hoping you and Tobias might join us for a proper… tour of the local sights." He frowned a bit. "That is, if you feel up to travel, of course."

  Valerian shrugged, his smile fading. "Whether I am up to travel is irrelevant. When are you planning on leaving? I can insure that Tobias and I are ready." He glanced over his shoulder towards the common room archway. "Will your Desanti be all right without you?"

  A look of annoyance flickered across Nolyn's features. "The Desanti don't belong to anyone but themselves, Unsvet Guardian. They are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves." He stabbed the part he cut off with more force than necessary. "Probably moreso than we can take care of ourselves, truth be told."

  Eptina watched Nolyn from the corner of her eye as she ate in silence. "Will the Desanti not be joining us this evening? I was hoping… to speak with the Su'alin." She did not acknowledge the expressions of surprise of the others in the room.

  Nolyn cleared his throat. "Their schedules are their own. Sometimes they will grant us the honor of their company. Other times, they prefer to keep to their own." He lifted his glass to his lips, his voice thoughtful. "We have been fortunate they have been willing to move past our mutually antagonistic history."

  "Yes," Eptina agreed, her voice shaking just a little. "Quite fortunate."

  Moving only his eyes to look at the common room archway to glimpse Kiya watching them then darting to go outside, Nolyn made a thoughtful sound. "Miss Kelafy, would you have one of the guest rooms prepared for Edai Magus Eptina. We need to get an early start on planning for the journey to Quoesia."

  Kelafy barely managed to repress a reaction of shock and affrontment. Stiffly, she stated with the strictest propriety, "Yes, of course, Edai Magus Nolyn Lirai, as you wish it. I will see to it at once." She turned to walk out, several of the other servants following her.

  "She does not like me," Eptina observed, her tones bland.

  Nolyn smirked as he looked sideways at her. "Can you honestly blame her, Edai Magus Eptina Dyndrai?"

  "No, no. I suppose not." Eptina considered and shrugged with a sigh. "I shall have to make a greater effort to part from my family's… reputation." She inclined her head to Nolyn. "Thank you for your hospitality. I will try to keep from being a bother to your household." She watched Nolyn as he rose, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

  When he left the room, Ellis asked in mild, knowing tones, "An evening stroll?"

  Valerian smiled at Ellis and shrugged. "The evening air is bracing this time of year. Good for the soul, and all."

  Chapter 68

  The wind swirled through the massive trees of the forest, gusts sending swirls of diamond-like snow dancing across the drifts. The moons, one full, one half, bathed the night in a silvery light. Kiya walked alone through the night, her cloak drawn close and hood pulled as far forward as she could bring it.

  In a clearing bathed in moonlight, Kiya stopped, looking up to the sky, lost in thought. "I wish I knew what I wanted. Desantiva is a part of me, but… Forenta has a beauty of its own, too." She closed her eyes and sighed. Kneeling in the snow, she drew her knife, dragging it across her palm and then impaling the ground in front of her.

  The wind went from gusts to a sustained swirl around the slight Desanti woman, a serpentine shape emerging from the blur of snow. Shifting to a ghostly, slender man dressed in every shade of white, he knelt across from Kiya, reaching out to touch her cheek. "My dear one," he murmured.

  "Citali." She turned her face into his palm, a single tear coursing down her cheek. "Can you ever forgive me? I doubted the Path and my life and—" She stopped when he touched her lips with one long, slender finger.

  He tilted his head, yellow eyes unblinking. "I can always forgive you, my dear one. But there is nothing for me to forgive you for. In fact, I should beg for your forgiveness."

  Kiya looked up in shock. "But you are Totani!"

  "It does not make me infallible. I… forget sometimes how little the children of our lord question… anything. We all do. It is so easy to forget. When I asked you to return to this world, there was a part of me that knew you would not say no. It was selfish of me, knowing how your own father would see your gift. I forced you too early into a life in service to the people. Without ever having a life of your own."

  Kiya clenched her cut fist more tightly, struggling to keep from bleeding too fast. "But you… you chose me. Su'alin do not choose their lives, they are born to serve."

  "Everyone is born to serve. Some serve themselves, some serve others. Most serve both." He caressed her cheek. "The gift of otherworldly sight is simply a gift, to be used or not as the bearer chooses. All have it, some stronger than others. Learning to use it is simply learning a skill, as much as learning to fight with a sword, or weave beads. The Path is intended to be something more. Something greater." He sighed. "It is not meant to make a slave of my Su'alin. That is what many generations of Alanis Su'alin have turned the Su'alin into. What your father tried to make you. That was never my wish, my dear one. Never." He sighed, looking away. "I just did not want to wait for you to be born again."

  Kiya grimaced, struggling to hold onto the Totani. "What… do you want of me, Citali? Tell me… please. I will do anything so I can see again. So I can serve you again."

  "Anything?" Citali looked up over her head for a moment, then down again. "Then tell me what you want, Kiya." Despite being more a ghost than corporeal, he caught her as she slumped forward, cradling her, caressing her hair. "What I want is irrelevant."

  "I don't want to be alone anymore," she whispered on a sigh before she passed out, her fist uncurling.

  Citali smiled sadly, caressing her cheek, then putting his hand on her right shoulder. "Thank you, my little Star. I have missed you so very much." He looked up as Nolyn emerged from the shadows from where he had been watching as he gently lay Kiya on the ground. "Heed my words, their wisdom was for you as well as her."

  Nolyn paused, taken aback. "You knew I was here?" The Totani tilted his head with a droll expression. "Of course you knew." He lowered his eyes humbly. "I am glad my presence did not offend you, Citali."

  The Totani shook his head. "Why would I be offended? You respect my Star's people. It will take a long time for the wounds between our lord and your goddess to heal. It must happen and it is you mortals who will show us the way." He looked down at Kiya with loving sadness. "Take care of my Githalin, Nolyn Lirai of the north." Taking her hand in his, Citali drew the dagger from the ground. The moment it was free, the Totani vanished. Nolyn hurried to the unconscious woman's side.

  Turning her hand over, he blinked in both amazement and relief to see the gash had closed, though her blood still stained her palm. His eyes were drawn to the dagger that had fallen to the ground once Citali vanished. Another unusual long dagger that had a gap up the middle save for a bridge that held the halves together, rested by an ornate sheathe. Putting the knife in its sheath and putting the sheathed dagger in his belt, he wrapped her warmly in her cloak and gathered her into his arms. "I will take care of her," he assured
the air. "For as long as she lets me."

  Chapter 69

  Outside the house, the wind howled mournfully as it blew through the trees, whipping the powdery snow into glittering swirls in the moonlight. The flakes, normally innocuous, bit into exposed flesh without mercy, the cold seeping under and through protective garments. Two figures stood in the middle of the open area among the three trees that made up the home.

  "Master Nolyn!" Marcus called, his growing worry apparent in his voice. He looked up at Seeker. "He is never away this long when we need to trav-" He bit back the words when the Desanti regarded him with a hard look. "When there is stuff we need to do in the early morning."

  Seeker scowled, eyes narrowed, fists clenched. "Sister! Where are you?!" He swore colorfully. "I did not think there was any harm in allowing her time alone. But it has been too long now for her, as it has for your master." He raised his hand to protect his eyes as he looked into the distance, or at least tried to. "Any signs of where they went has been buried by this thrice be damned snow. It is as if the land wants to keep us from finding them."

  The boy squinted as he stared into the swirling snow, seeing an anomaly in the pattern of it, as if it were flowing around something. "Master?" Recognizing an energy shield, he grabbed Seeker's wrist. "Over there! Come on!"

  Seeker stopped short when his eyes fell on Star, his eyes wide. "It is not possible… She can't be… she isn't Swordanzen…"

  Nolyn let the spell drop, staggering a step with the exertion of carrying the unconscious woman and maintaining the protective spell that kept the winds away from them. "Marcus… Tell Kelafy to bring… food. Drink. Anything warm… to my room." The boy nodded and ran as fast as he could, casting spells to clear a path through the knee-deep snow ahead of them. Looking at Seeker, the mage said, "We must talk."