Who would have suspected that I, Arsen Lockhart, would ever find love again? Now, I just have to figure out if she loves me back.
Lola
I woke up yet again, but this time to a purple and orange sunset. I didn’t even know that I had fallen asleep. It’s like they were waiting for me to wake up because the moment I sat up in bed, there was a knock on the door.
“Dinner” I heard Ms. Rose speak through the door. I smiled slightly, but not for long.
When the door opened, Ms. Rose wasn’t alone. She walked in with a huge tray and Arsen followed swiftly behind her. I guess I wasn’t eating dinner alone tonight. I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers while Ms. Rose sat the food in front of me. I whispered a small thank you and she whispered back for me to stay strong.
I looked up only enough to see the food and Arsen's body as he took a seat on the bed. We were having grilled chicken and broccoli tonight. I picked up my plate, placing it on my lap and began to eat in silence. I didn’t know how to feel but I know I wasn’t necessarily in the mood to speak with Arsen right now. Especially after that kiss.
“It’s a nice night, huh?” He broke the silence. I saw him take small bites of his food while waiting for my response.
I just stayed silent not sure of how I should reply. I took another bite of my food and sat my plate to the side. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and turned away from Arsen. I went to sit on the window seat and watch the sky turn black. I heard him muffle a stiff laugh and sit his plate down on the serving tray, and sat the tray on the dresser.
“Lola, can you talk to me please?” he asked. The sound of his feet tapping against the hardwood floor as he got closer to me made me anxious. “Why didn’t you finish your dinner?”
“Not hungry” I replied simply, watching the sun almost go into hiding.
“Why are you acting like this? Is it something that I’ve done?” his tone of voice was dripping with concern and confusion. He took a seat beside me and I could feel his eyes burning holes into the side of my face.
“How do you actually feel about me, Arsen? Why’d you kiss me then leave me here locked up without an explanation? Am I part of some type of sick game you’re playing?” tears began burning the brim of my eyes, waiting to fall out but I forced them back. “Why are you doing all of this?”
“I’m not sure why I’m doing this… but I don’t want you to ever think that I’m playing you or whatever. I actually care about you” He tried to take my hand but I quickly pulled it away. I didn’t want to touch him right now.
“How do you feel about me, Arsen?” I asked again. I finally turned to face him and looked him directly in the eyes.
“I… I can’t put it into words, but I know that I can show you”
“Great” I forced out a laugh. “And how do you plan on doing that?”
He kissed me. Just leaned in and kissed me but this time, I didn’t kiss back. I stood up and walked away from him shaking my head.
“No, Arsen. You don’t get to just kiss me and leave again”
“But Lola-” He started but I quickly interrupted.
“If you don’t mind, I would really like to be alone right now”
He sighed and left the room. I heard the lock click and for some reason, it was annoyingly loud. I just wasn't quite sure how to feel at the moment. I had the opportunity to express my feelings for him, better yet, he had the opportunity to express his feelings to me but I guess he just wasn't ready yet.
What's crazy about this whole thing is the fact that he is a writer. It really shouldn't be that hard for him to put his feelings into words. Me being a writer as well, it's very easy for me to explain myself. I guess it's just different for everyone.
I really needed to separate myself from him in this moment. I can't pinpoint this exact feeling but it's very overwhelming. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of my own emotions and I'm too far away to swim back to shore. This is what I call the visionary aspect of a writer's mind. I have these moments where I actually envision my thoughts and my imagination becomes so vivid that it feels real.
The color blue surrounds me, but it surrounds me in various shades. Both warm and cool tones capture my soul in a way it hasn’t before. Blue sky, blue clouds, and blue waves. There's fog everywhere and the air is clammy. My hair sticks to my arms like leeches when they're feeding.
It's not salty ocean water that I'm floating in. I am washing away in my own tears. I take a look up and the clouds look like question marks. They have this gold glow that rests around the edges of their shape like they're hiding the answer to all this confusion from me.
The sky turns a peachy orange color as my body now washes up onto a black sand beach. After seconds of coughing up water, I start to catch my breath. The sun peeks through the clouds letting me know that even though things may seem alone negative at the moment, things are going to be okay. Left in the sand where the footprints another human being who is now vacant. I wonder if they are on the same trail of vivid emotions.
I'm just trying to find my way through this warped reality but I know that this could take a while. It's already taking me a while to process the thought of Arsen not feeling the same as I do but what if he doesn't feel anything for me at all. What if this is just a simple scam for him to have his way with me and still end up killing me in the end. I don't know, I don't think she wants to kill me but with him you never know his true intentions until he acts upon them.
Why do I feel like the only one who doesn't have the answers? Why must I be the one lost at sea?
My questions almost never have answers to them and I wish I knew why. It had almost always seemed like the answers to my questions would only come in the form of conclusion to my overall problem. Which is very annoying because the situation could last for years and I would be confused all the way up until the very end when things were solved. I threw myself onto the bed and pulled the blanket over me. It felt like I was a child again.
When I was younger I would always crawl into bed and lay under my blankets as a way to solve my problems. It was the place that made me feel safe and that's why for the longest period of time my room was my sacred place. Being alone in there made it so easy to be one with my thoughts.
It had been only a few seconds but within that short amount of time, I felt like I was in my sacred place again. But this wasn't my home and I don't think it ever will be. I know that my feelings for Arsen are very strong but I just don't know if he feels the same. I don't even know if his kisses are genuine. I need him to show me that he actually cares for me in more ways than just physical.
There're a million and one ways that he can express his love for me if he has any, but he'll just have to find out how to show me on his own. If he feels the same way this shouldn't be a problem. Although I had just taken a nap I decided to just go back to sleep and get ready for whatever Arsen had planned for me to do tomorrow.
I woke up to the loud ringing of the alarm clock which was crazy because I didn't even set it. I pushed myself out of bed and into the bathroom to take care of my hygiene. My schedule said that this morning I would be grocery shopping and that I should be ready to leave by 9:45 so that I could make it to the store by opening time.
It was just grocery shopping so I decided to wear a t-shirt, pair of yoga pants, and a pair of running shoes. At 9:45 sharp the door unlocked and opened. In front of me stood Ms. Rose Arsen's driver.
"Are you ready, Lola?" Ms. Rose asked.
"Yes," I said with a smile then she handed me the grocery list and the credit card.
"You can follow me to the car, Ms. Lola" the driver spoke. His smile never left his face the entire time.
I followed him out to the car and got inside and he opened the door for me. I was happy to be out in the fresh air after being locked up in the house for a day and a half. I rolled down my window and let the wind blow through my hair as we drove off. I tucked the grocery list and card into my back pocket trying to clear my mind off the task
that needed to be done until it was actually time to do it.
We drove through part of town that I have never seen before. This must be where the wealthy people shop because the buildings around the other parts of the city were nowhere near as nice as these. The driver found a perfect parking space right in front of the grocery store and told me that he would be waiting for me right in this spot when I was finished. I thanked him and got out.
The store was named Organic Everything. It was set up really nice an organized throughout the entire store. I grabbed a cart and pulled out the list of items that I needed to pick up. Finding things in the store was very easy due to how they labeled everything from the aisles to the prices. Strangely, this brought me peace.
The soft music playing from the ceiling speakers and the subtle chill that surrounded me put me at ease. I wouldn't mind doing this all of the time. This felt like meditation.
I had got all of the items that were on the list within 15 minutes. Just when I was about to close the note and put it away I saw something written at the bottom. It told me to also pick up a few of my favorite snacks because by the time I got back I would have a mini fridge and a small cabinet for my items.
I smiled at the list and put it away before quickly doing another look through of the store and picking up a few things that I wouldn't mind snacking on from time to time. I went to the cashier paid for all of the items. Maybe this day will be better than yesterday.
The driver helped me pack the groceries into the trunk and we both got back inside of the car. I kept my snacks in the backseat with me. The music on the radio what's playing on little louder then it was earlier and it was on another station too. It was on the alternative station and I knew every song that came on back-to-back. This was just another good thing to add on to this good day.
When we got back to the house the driver told me to just take my personal bags up to my room and that he would take care of the rest. I thanked him and went inside of the house. There was a guard waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and as much as I should be upset that I was going to be locked inside of his room for the rest of the day, I wasn't. I was happy and I don't think anything could ruin my happiness right now.
The guard let me into the room and locked the door behind me. Just like the note said there were a mini cabinet and a mini fridge. There was also a slender bookshelf full of books in the corner. The smile on my face got bigger and I felt the happiest I've been in a few weeks. Who would have thought pure happiness could come from being locked in captivity?
I thought it was really nice that Arsen took the time out of his day to do these things for me. I guess this is him showing that he appreciates me. That gave me a little reassurance. I smiled to myself and put the snacks away. When I turned around I jumped a little at what randomly appeared. There was a tv mounted on the wall and I’m sure how I missed upon entering. There was a sticky note attached to it.
I walked closer to the tv and the note read:
“I’m sorry about last night. I hope you can forgive me”
I shook my head and took the note off of the tv screen. I tossed it into the small trash bin and walked back over to the bed to sit down. He didn’t have to buy me gifts to apologize but I did appreciate the things he gave me. They can entertain me while I’m locked up in here, however long that’ll be.
Luckily for me, I saw a couple of books that I've been meaning to read on the bookshelf. So that's another great thing to look forward to. I got up and sat in front of the computer. I was going to write a little more of my story.
I know you’re wondering what my name is, and I’ll tell you. My name is Hazel and I fell in love with my dominant. He fell in love with me too but his feelings aren’t there anymore. Not since I hurt his feelings. I used to make him so happy. I love his smile, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I can't believe that I even brought myself to hurt such a beautiful soul like that.
I remember waking up every day to make him breakfast and to make sure his clothes are ironed for work. I just missed making him happy. Being trapped down here in the basement gives me enough time to think and man have I learned my lesson. Never take the one you love for granted.
Arsen
Seeing Lola close to tears like that made me feel horrible. I can't believe that I had the chance to actually reveal my feelings for her and instead of telling her I kissed her. That old trick worked on girls in the past but I should’ve realized that Lola isn't like most girls. She isn't like the ones before, she is the one.
I tried to think quickly about how I could make her see that she is actually important to me without physically making a move on her. I started to think about with her room was lacking and what can actually help her enjoy herself while she's here. I noticed her room had minimal entertainment in it. That she could enjoy herself with was the computer.
So I called up the interior designer I told them that I need them to do some work for me within the hour the next morning. Lola is a novelist, so clearly she likes to read. I decided to get her a little bookshelf with a couple of books from my library. Just in case she got hungry between meals I told the designer that I wanted a mini fridge to be put inside of the room as well. I also thought that adding a flat screen TV to the wall wouldn't hurt. I figured she liked watching shows and movies just as much as she likes reading books.
I was really excited about this. I hope that this will put a smile on her face while I can figure out something bigger and better to do to show her that I really care. I don't want her to think that she is just another girl that I am playing games with. I want her to see truly how important she is to me. Although I have to keep her hostage, I want to see her nothing but happy.
Her happiness brings me joy and her smile brings me comfort. She made me feel young again and Lord knows I've been longing for that feeling since my divorce. That's why I scheduled for us to go to dinner tomorrow. I want to take her to a semi-normal restaurant to eat so that we could be around people of both of our age groups.
I want her to feel safe and secure around me. I want her to feel beautiful and like she's the most important girl in the world. And I know that money could not buy her love, so I'm really putting thought into this. I want to live the rest of my life with her. I think tomorrow night will be the night that I express my true feelings for her. I just hope things go as planned.
Lola reminds me of the second book I have ever written. Similar to the book of mine that she told me she liked during our interview but better in my opinion as the author. This particular story didn't have an age gap between the two lovers because it was based on my ex-wife. Although I loved that woman with all of my heart there were a few things that she could have worked on to better herself as a person.
I made sure to put those things in the novel to make it seem as if this was just a character and that her and my wife had differences. But they were good differences. The character's name was Abigail and she was Lola in the flesh. She was described the same, she talked the same, and even felt the same. It's like I'm actually reliving my own book.
I smiled to myself as I continued my plans for today. I got another strange email from the girl who may possibly be Lola’s best friend. She claimed that she knew where I lived and that she’d be sending people over to ‘end’ me. I chuckled and leaned back in my chair. She was a very funny girl if she thought that she could ever kill me.
I licked over my lips and started to think of ways to lure this girl in, so I could retrieve her information and track her every move. Although I look at her as a joke, threatening my life isn’t a joke and it’s not something that I take lightly. Now my goal is to end both her life and her mother’s life. I just don’t need the stress of their complaints.
I finally sent an email in response from a fake email account to let them know that things are serious:
To the mother and daughter of the man who couldn’t do his job
Let get a few things clear. First, your threats don’t scare me. As a
man of wealth and his people, I have nothing to fear and if I were afraid of anything it’d be neither of you two. I am a very hardworking man but your loved one couldn’t deliver me what I asked for. I paid him exceptionally well for minor jobs but he still couldn’t deliver what I asked for. Why? Because he was a greedy son of a bitch.
He stole money from me! It just so happens that he was the only one to come back later than the others and he came back with less money than I requested. I was killing random people in the market because he claimed that the amount he had given me was the amount they gave him. He played with my money so he needed to lose his life. So, I’m warning you now... if you don’t stop these childish acts of trying to scare me or trying to kill me, you’ll end up 6 feet under just like him. You rats are a disgrace.
Montgomery Billionaire Series Page 147