“Cass, please don’t go. I’m so sorry. Please come back and sit down.” He gestured toward the coffee table. “We can finish our champagne and I swear to you that will never happen again.”
Cassie glanced at the floor; the floor they’d just laid on; the floor, where they’d just kissed. “It’s getting late… I really need to go. I’ve got another long day ahead of me tomorrow. Thanks again for dinner.” She walked to the door, dislodged her jacket from the hook and then put it on. She removed her long hair from under her coat and adjusted the collar before finally turning to face him.
“I think you’re charming and you are going to make one lucky lady out there very happy someday…”
“Cass, wait…” She walked into the hallway and looked back one last time.
“It was really nice to see you again, Jake. Take care.”
Jacob watched her exit down the stairs and then closed the door. He moved toward the massive loft window and stared at her as she hailed a taxi and drove away. He was disappointed in his behavior. How could he have let this happen? They were having such a wonderful time and in an instant, everything had changed. He sat down on the floor by the coffee table where he and Cassie had been moments earlier. He replayed their kiss in his head, over and over again, and felt a sudden ache reside deep within him. He could no longer deny to himself that he was still in love with her and even though she was presently involved with another man, Jacob couldn’t help but wonder if Cassie had felt anything for him.
* * *
It was a long and lonely ride back to the hotel. Once Cassie was safely hidden behind the walls of her room, she dissolved into tears. She closely examined the evening; everything had been so perfect, up until their kiss. He’d looked at her with those hypnotic, green eyes and she knew she should’ve pulled away right then. He’d closed the distance between them and as soon as she’d felt his warm breath against her lips, she’d lost control. She’d given in to the urge and the worst part was—she’d thoroughly enjoyed it.
The kiss was an accident, she told herself… or was it? She inventoried the events that led up to it. She was in his apartment—alone. His attempt to cook her dinner—ruined. His back-up plan of Chinese take-out and picnicking on the floor was—nostalgic. And the playful swat to his broken ribs, causing her to hover over him was—nothing more than pure luck. As she organized the individual elements that made up their evening, the spur-of-the-moment kiss no longer seemed innocent. She let out a soft chuckle, although she didn’t find her conclusion amusing. You, Cassie Warner, have been played…
Dozens of emotions cluttered her exhausted mind: Shame, worry, guilt, regret… How on earth could she have been so foolish, she wondered? Was she just another random girl Jacob was trying to lure into bed—a challenge? Or was there more to it? And then, of course, there was Landon. He was not only her boyfriend, but he would be working closely with Jacob for at least the next year or so. How was she going to confess to him about what happened, or should she refrain from saying anything at all? She had so many questions plaguing her and sadly, she had no answers. She was angry with herself for letting her guard down and was determined that it would never happen again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The blackened pot roast was still visible on the counter as Jacob approached the kitchen, along with the dozen red tulips she’d left behind during her sudden departure the previous evening. After haphazardly preparing a cup of coffee he ambled toward the over-sized window. Gazing over the fast paced streets below had always revived his weary mind, although he acknowledged that it was going to take more than that to comfort him today.
He walked to his bathroom vanity and quickly splashed cold water on his face before settling in front of the mirror. His reflection was disturbing, he thought; his eyes were bloodshot and sunken, his skin was pale, and his dark hair was disheveled. He acknowledged he looked terrible, but he felt much worse.
The physical pain he felt was intense. His broken ribs were tender and he was unsure whether it was from Cassie’s playful swat, or from falling asleep on his stiff leather couch. Leftover pain medication would certainly take care of that, although the piercing emotional anguish he felt would unquestionably prevail.
He finally plunged his body back onto the red leather couch, making certain to place his coffee mug on a coaster on the adjacent table. He picked up his phone and closely examined his daily planner. After noting that there were no scheduled meetings to attend, he decided to call the office and inform them that he would be conducting his paperwork from home.
He struggled to stay on task and after slaving over the sea of documents for several hours, he decided to take a much needed break. He carelessly flung the documents back into his briefcase and leaned his body against the back of the leather couch. He ran his hands through his thick, dark hair while forcefully emptying the air from his lungs and reflected on the mistakes he’d made last night.
The pain he’d endured consumed his entire body and the sensation of her anatomy nestled closely against his was the only antidote. It seemed as though a higher power had taken possession of his actions and he began to question if destiny and fate really did exist. Everything from the burnt pot roast to the explosion of agony he’d felt after her playful jab had led them to their kiss. It was magical and he wondered if she’d felt a connection as well.
The lingering questions plagued him. He reached for his phone and dialed her number and when her voicemail signaled, he left her a message.
“Hey Cass, it’s me… Jacob. Look, I wanted to apologize for last night—I didn’t mean for any of that to happen and I want you to know how deeply sorry I am if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I really, really need to talk to you—I know you’re probably busy right now with the seminar, but… please call me back as soon as you get this message. It’s really important.”
Jacob refilled his coffee mug and made an attempt to continue with his work. It was repetitive work and under normal circumstances, he would have been able to complete it effortlessly, but his current mental state prevented him from that. In fact, he’d barely made a dent in the large stack since he began several hours earlier. He had many unanswered questions and he soon realized that he would not be able to properly function unless he sought them.
It was approaching one o’clock. He tamed his wild hair, changed his clothes and rushed downstairs. After situating himself in the backseat of a cab, he gave the driver the address for the Times Square Hotel and indicated there would be a generous tip if he could get him there quickly. The driver pressed down on the accelerator with a heavy foot, catapulting Jacob’s body forcibly against the back of his seat. Anxiety flourished with each passing mile and he silently rehearsed the monologue he would recite when he found her. Adrenaline surged through his veins as the taxi halted in front of the awning. Jacob delivered on his promise; rewarding the driver for his rapid arrival and then quickly entered the building.
Once inside, he followed the signs to ballroom C, where the physical therapy seminar was being conducted. He peeked around the door, skimming over the crowd in search of her, but was unsuccessful. The only thing he saw was an endless sea of chairs filled with health professionals with their backs turned; intently focused on a man standing at the front of the room using his laser pointer to assist his explanation of the visual aid.
He quietly closed the door and found a chair adjacent to one of the refreshment tables. After sitting for a few moments, he observed a metal tripod with a large white sign attached to it; it was the seminar schedule. Intermission was scheduled to take place at two o’clock. He glanced at his watch: one fifty-one.
He was pleasantly surprised to see the ballroom doors swing open right on schedule. Roughly one hundred well dressed therapists spilled out into the hallway herding themselves into four organized lines, quickly filling their plates with a combination of fresh fruit, tea sandwiches and small pastries. Jacob searched up and down each of the lines, but surprisingly she wasn’t there. He
peeked around the ballroom door, thinking that maybe she was still inside, but she wasn’t there either.
Okay, don’t panic, he thought. She was probably upstairs in her room and if he could just convince someone at the front desk to give him her room number, he could deliver his apologetic speech there. Jacob left the seminar and journeyed back to the massive, granite lobby desk. He waited for a moment behind the draped, velvet rope until he was called upon.
“Good afternoon, sir. May I help you?”
Jacob moved toward her, making sure to read her nametag as he approached. “Yes, Lisa, I certainly hope you can. I’m supposed to meet a very, dear friend of mine; however I seemed to have misplaced the paper that I wrote her room number on. Is there any way that you can look up that information and give it to me?”
“We don’t normally give that information out—”
“Please, Lisa… It sure would mean a lot to me.” He gave her his best charming smile. “I’m already running about ten minutes late…”
Lisa hesitated for a moment, but finally concluded that he looked harmless. She looked over her shoulder to ensure her supervisor wasn’t observing them before continuing. “Okay… What is your friend’s name?”
“Cassandra Warner. W-A-R-N-E-R.”
Lisa typed her name into the computer and waited for her information to appear. “I’m sorry, sir. She’s no longer a guest at this hotel.”
“What? Are you sure?”
“Our records indicate that she checked out this morning around ten-thirty.”
“I don’t understand—the convention isn’t over until later today and she wasn’t scheduled to leave until early tomorrow morning.”
“Well, it appears as though she left early, then.”
“Yeah… it does. Thanks for all of your help, Lisa.”
“It’s my pleasure, sir.”
Jacob advanced toward the exit and retrieved his phone from his pocket. His mind was accelerating with panic and he knew that if he didn’t confess how he really felt about her, he may never get the opportunity to do so again.
“Hey, Cass... I just left your hotel. I didn’t want to say this over the phone, but since you’re probably halfway to Chicago now, you haven’t left me much choice. Spending time with you the last few days has made me realize that I still have feelings for you. I’ve always known it, but after we kissed… I can’t deny it—nor do I want to. We have a substantial amount of chemistry. I felt it and the way you kissed me back—I know you felt it, too. I want you to know that I didn’t plan any of this. The last thing I wanted was to push you away… Please, talk to me—that’s all that I’m asking… just… talk to me…”
The desperation in his voice frightened him. He located a nearby bench and sat down, resting his forearms on his lap. He inflated his lungs and then slowly exhaled, taming his spirit with every breath. How did you end up here again, he questioned? Losing her once was hard enough, but twice? Fate had played an unquestionable part in their unforeseen reunion, first in Chicago and again here in New York; everything leading up to their kiss could be explained by it. Although, if fate was controlling their actions and behaviors, what did her spontaneous escape from Manhattan mean, exactly?
* * *
“Ma’am, would you care for a beverage?”
Cassie looked up at the perky flight attendant. “I’ll have a ginger ale, please”, she answered. She watched as the cheerful woman poured her bubbly concoction into a small, plastic cup and then gently placed it on her tray table.
“Would you prefer peanuts or pretzels?”
“Pretzels would be great, thank you.”
Cassie slowly sipped her ginger ale, hoping that the effervescence would settle her nervous stomach. She’d fled Manhattan upon receiving Jacob’s earlier message, afraid that he would corner her; scared that she would lose control of herself again. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw herself hovering over him; her mind screaming to pull away, her heart convincing her to linger. She was disappointed in herself for allowing the kiss to happen and she knew that it could have developed into something more if she hadn’t left when she did.
That kiss had shaken her to her core, but the observations vocalized by Jacob about Landon weighed heavily on her as well. They echoed with an intensity that angered her and she questioned his motives for verbalizing them. Was he trying to create doubt? Was he employing a method to lure her into bed or was his observations accurate? She acknowledged that Landon’s business consumed a large percentage of his time and up until now it hadn’t really bothered her that much. But, would it be like this forever? Would she be alone while he was away on business, without a solid commitment and without any children to love and take care of?
As the plane was making its final descent, she concluded that she and Landon had some kinks to iron out. She needed to know that she was a priority in his life and that she wasn’t wasting precious time with a man who had no intention of moving forward.
After exiting the plane, Cassie meandered through the airport and recovered her black and white houndstooth-patterned luggage from baggage claim. She journeyed through the massive, concrete parking garage and positioned her luggage in the back of her SUV before finally taking her place behind the wheel. She reached for her phone, remembering that she’d turned it off prior to take-off, and recognized that Jacob had left another message.
Her body was paralyzed and for close to a minute, she stared at her phone in silence. Don’t worry, Jake—I’m not going to tell Landon. He’d apologized last night and again this morning on her voicemail. She’d accepted and now it was over.
Cassie deleted his most recent message, refusing to listen to it; refusing to think about what might have been. She wanted to make her relationship with Landon work and she realized that the only way she would be able to move forward, would be to refrain from looking back.
CHAPTER EIGHT
TEN MONTHS LATER
The sweltering sun beamed with a ferocious intensity and gave no indication of mercy. It was unequivocally one of the hottest summers in Chicago’s recent history. Rolling blackouts were rumored, although advice from the local news media had kept the dreaded event at bay.
Cassie fastened the top to her red bikini and adjusted the material, making sure it was situated properly. She turned her body in the mirror, observing her lean figure and when she was satisfied with how she looked, she disguised her body with a gauze cover-up and slid her feet into a pair of gold leather sandals. She meticulously packed a pool bag with all of the essentials she would need for the day and then headed downstairs to the condominium lobby to retrieve her mail on her way out.
The air was thick as she entered the parking garage, making it particularly difficult to breath; thankfully, she hadn’t parked far. She positioned herself behind the wheel and then carelessly tossed her mail in the passenger seat beside her. It had been eight, long days since she last saw Landon; he’d been away in Washington State for business and she was eager to spend time with him, poolside.
Many changes had taken place since her return from New York last fall. She had withheld information from Landon regarding the kiss she’d shared with Jacob. She wasn’t proud of her dishonesty, but she did have her reasons. Confessing meant that she would have to admit her past romantic involvement with him; a detail that she’d purposely left out during her conversation with the two of them while visiting Jacob in the hospital last fall. She’d also considered their business relationship and feared that Landon would back out of the contract with Jacob’s firm if he was made aware of the incident.
The conversation she’d had with Landon upon returning had gone pretty well, too. He’d made an honest effort to convince her that he was serious about his feelings—vowing to spend less time buried in his work and more quality time with her. He wasn’t completely sold on the idea of marriage or more children, but he certainly hadn’t closed the book on the subject either.
Cassie arrived in Glencoe, a northern suburb of Chicago,
and steered her SUV down the asphalt driveway toward the massive, two-story Tudor home. The estate was situated on two acres of vibrantly landscaped terrain near Lake Michigan. She parked her vehicle in its usual place in the arched driveway and quickly sifted through her mail before exiting the car. Most of it was junk, but one envelope in particular caught her attention. She recognized the return address belonged to one of her dearest friends, Emily.
She knew this was coming. Emily had phoned her roughly five months earlier with news of her engagement to Tanner. Although she wasn’t chosen as a bridesmaid, she was still requested to attend the festivities leading up to their nuptials as a special guest. Holding the wedding invitation made her hands tremble and she couldn’t deny that she was nervous about seeing Jacob again.
She hadn’t spoken to him since the night she’d left his apartment last fall. Landon was still engaged in a substantial business contract with his firm. It wasn’t unusual for he and Jacob to converse over the phone and Landon hadn’t relayed any messages on his behalf.
Jacob was undoubtedly Tanner’s best man, which meant at some point during her stay in Maine she was bound to run into him.
Cassie stuffed the invitation back into her bag and vacated her car. She retrieved the house key that Landon had given her from her tote, a clear sign that their relationship was evolving, and opened the front door. She advanced down the colossal hallway and ultimately found Landon in the kitchen, engaged in a domineering phone conversation with one of his business partners. He gestured with his hand that he would only be a moment and then continued his conversation while simultaneously mixing the two of them a refreshing cocktail.
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