Or was it half full?
She reached for her blackberry and read the time: five thirty-seven. She stood and walked to the kitchen; the blinking lights on the stove and microwave indicating that the power was back on. Her mind was cluttered with a mounting to-do list; drop-off her dry cleaning, pick-up some groceries, play catch-up at work, and oh yeah, think about her conversation with Emily from last night. No chance of going back to sleep now, she acknowledged.
After showering she dressed for her busy day ahead. She chose a royal blue, sleeveless shift dress and a fitted, three-quarter sleeve black blazer. She finished her ensemble with a pair of black suede, platform stilettos and straightened her long golden hair since she had the extra time. She filled her large coffee mug to the rim and after grabbing her briefcase and purse, she headed to the hospital ahead of schedule.
Being first to arrive at the office had always been the perfect prerequisite for a productive day, but nothing about today was typical. The lack of distractions ironically prevented any progress she’d vowed to make. The eerie silence around her only further amplified the voices in her head.
He didn’t have the right to play God with your life six years ago, just like you don’t have the right to do the same thing to him now. Tell him how you feel. Tell him your biggest fears and let him decide, Emily had said. She knew Emily was right, but that didn’t make her decision any easier.
She was being hypocritical, she knew, but that was only because Jacob stood to lose so much more than she ever had. She’d walked away from Landon last night with no regrets and she needed to approach her unresolved feelings for Jacob in the same manner. Jacob deserved to know how she felt and he deserved the opportunity to determine his own destiny.
Without a second thought, she dialed the airlines and charged a pricey, roundtrip ticket to New York City to her credit card and grabbed her purse. On her way home to pack, she phoned her partner and informed him that she was leaving town to take care of an unexpected personal matter and would return on Monday morning. She quickly filled him in on the patients scheduled for the day and he assured her that everyone would be taken care of.
She arrived at her two-bedroom condo just after eight o’clock and quickly tossed toiletries, cosmetics, and enough clothes to get by until Sunday evening into her designer suitcase before heading to the airport.
* * *
Board meetings were long and tedious, but a necessary component to his position as junior partner. Twice a month Mr. Anderson and Mr. James held a mandatory meeting with all of the partners. It was an opportunity for Jacob to inform everyone about his team’s progress on various projects and for new assignments to be equally distributed amongst the remaining nine junior partners in the firm.
He’d spent the better part of the day in the expansive conference room and finally made it back to his office with an hour to spare before his scheduled guy’s night. He glanced over a stack of reports that his secretary, Ava, had left for him and sent an email to his team regarding their newly assigned projects when Tim barged in with his infamous twenty-minute warning.
* * *
The harsh landing jarred Cassie’s body, reinforcing the reality of what she was about to do. Traveling with a small suitcase and a matching carry-on bag saved a trip to baggage claim, a small victory in itself. She wheeled her petite luggage through the terminal with purpose and arrived at ground transportation. She hailed a taxi and gave the driver instructions to transport her to the Anderson James Architect Firm in Lower Manhattan as quickly as possible.
The roads were littered with vehicles, typical of New York City during rush hour. The driver zigzagged in and out of traffic in an effort to get her to her destination quickly and secure a hefty tip, no doubt. Butterflies danced vigorously in the pit of her gut and once they approached the Brooklyn Bridge, her nerves had reached the surface. Her palms were moist, her hands steadily trembling, and fear of the unknown was unmistakably plastered across her face. The cab came to a halt along the curb in front of the sleek, steel building near Wall Street and Cassie paid the driver an extra fifty dollars to take her luggage to her nearby hotel. He gladly accepted and after a few deep, calming breaths, she entered the building in search of Jacob.
She approached the main lobby desk and waited patiently while the secretary finished her phone conversation.
“I’m so sorry I kept you waiting. How may I help you?” the kind, middle-aged woman asked.
“No problem. I’m actually here to see Jacob Nelson. Can you by chance direct me to his office?”
The lobby secretary glanced at her watch and then removed her reading glasses before re-establishing eye contact. “Is he expecting you?” she asked curiously.
“No, I don’t believe he is…” She answered softly.
The secretary tapped the top of her pen against the black granite desk and stared at Cassie for a few long beats before exposing a genuine smile. “Well, I normally wouldn’t do this, but Mr. Nelson has been noticeably mopey the last few weeks and hopefully your surprise visit will be enough to perk him right back up.”
“Thank you…” Cassie paused hoping to catch the secretary’s name.
“Mary”, the kind secretary added.
“Thank you, Mary.”
“You’re welcome.” Mary pointed behind Cassie. “You are going to take the elevator located behind you to the eleventh floor. Once you exit the elevator, take a left and then head straight. You’ll literally run into his office at the end of the aisle.”
Cassie thanked her once again and traveled the short distance to the elevator. She pressed the button to take her to the eleventh floor with her quivering hands and held onto the railing behind her as she began her ascent. A crescendo of anxiety multiplied with every passing floor and she tightened her grip to prevent her knees from buckling. She’d come this far and now there was no turning back.
* * *
Tim knocked on Jacob’s door and strolled in with a grin that could only be associated with a man who knew he had an excellent chance of getting laid in the near future.
“It’s that time, my friend. Get your shit together and let’s go!”
Jacob shook his head as he stood from his executive, leather office chair. He powered down his computer, grabbed his briefcase and ambled toward the door to turn off the light.
“You’re doing the right thing, buddy”, Tim said as he slapped Jacob on the back. “Trust me; you’re going to feel like a million bucks in the morning.”
“I highly doubt it”, Jacob mumbled softly under his breath.
They traveled toward the elevator, coursing through a sea of gray cubicles. Jacob was having second thoughts, but he’d already agreed to go and he figured he’d stay for one drink and then hopefully conjure up an excuse to leave. The challenge of luring a random, beautiful woman to his bed no longer appealed to him. What he desired stood approximately five foot-three, with long golden hair and a killer body… Cassie.
The two came to a halt in front of the elevator and Jacob pressed the button to summon it to their floor. Tim was babbling about a curvy brunette he’d spotted the previous week, but Jacob wasn’t paying much attention; he was too pre-occupied with the internal battle raging inside of him. He knew it was time to move on; begin the process of salvaging the fragmented pieces that was his life, but his wounds were still fresh and he questioned his readiness. Maybe he needed more time; a few days or possibly even a few more weeks?
Nonsense, he thought. He had a good poker face, but he couldn’t bullshit himself. He’d taken a gamble and he’d lost everything.
The bell chimed, indicating that the elevator had arrived, and temporarily jolting Jacob back to reality. Tim was still talking about the big-breasted brunette as the shiny, gold doors slid open, revealing a five foot-three, blonde-haired beauty.
“Cassie…?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Tim glanced at Jacob, the cute mystery blonde standing in the elevator, and then back again toward Jacob
. How in the hell does Jacob always attract the hottest women, he wondered?
Cassie couldn’t move. Her legs felt heavy—like her shoes were fabricated with cement. Her breath caught at the sight of him; his gray shirt sleeves were rolled midway up his forearms and his salmon-colored tie was slightly loosened around his neck. He looked every bit of the stylish, executive bachelor that he was. “Hi, Jake…”
Jacob stared in disbelief, afraid that if he blinked the apparition would suddenly disappear. His eyes were fixated on hers; his mind succumbing to an inescapable daze. He really needed to get some sleep, he thought. Liberating his mind of Cassie had been difficult at best, but hallucinations of her standing in front of him made him question his psyche.
The door to the elevator began to close and Jacob reached forward and pushed it back open with one of his hands. “What are you doing here?” he asked softly in disbelief.
“Ah, Miss, if you’ll excuse us—we were just on our way out”, Tim interrupted. He turned to look at Jacob and placed his hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to say his goodbyes to the beautiful stranger. “C’mon, man, we’re going to be late.”
Cassie glanced at the man standing beside Jacob before turning her attention back to him. “I’m sorry. I guess I caught you at a bad time”, she uttered softly.
Jacob swallowed hard, his hand still forcing the elevator door open. “No, it’s okay—”
“No it’s not”, Tim interrupted again. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at Jacob with an intense glare. “You’re not skipping out on another guy’s night!”
What was she doing, she wondered? She’d walked away last month and pleaded with him not to follow her. She’d made it perfectly clear that they were over and he needed to move-on. Clearly that was what he was attempting to do now by hanging out with the guys. What right did she have to show up unannounced? She closed her eyes briefly, hoping that the floor to the elevator would open up and swallow her whole. When that didn’t happen, she did the next best thing. She reached for the control panel and pressed the button to close the doors.
“I should go—I’m so sorry.” The door jerked into motion and came to a sudden halt; Jacob’s hand was still holding it open.
Jacob reached forward with his free hand and motioned for her to take a step forward. “C’mon”, he said. Cassie hesitated for a moment, but finally took his hand and exited the elevator. Once he had her securely in his grip, he turned his attention to Tim. “Go on ahead. I’ll meet up with you later.”
Tim let out a frustrated sigh and started toward the elevator. “Why do I suddenly get the feeling that I’m going to be stood up?” He mumbled. He turned around and pressed the button to transport him to the main lobby. “Remember I have needs. It’s been weeks!” he called out as the doors finally slid closed.
“What on earth is he talking about?” Cassie asked curiously.
Jacob waved his free hand in front of him, disregarding any credibility Tim had. “That’s Tim. He’s convinced that my presence at guy’s night is his lucky charm—like a rabbit’s foot or something. He hasn’t been laid since the last time I showed up.”
Cassie’s eye’s narrowed as if she was in deep thought. “Oh”, she spoke softly. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”
Jacob smiled and chuckled softly under his breath. “Don’t take it personally—he’s usually a really nice guy. He’s just got a one-track mind right now!”
She nodded her head as if she suddenly understood, although the thought of Jacob surrounded by countless women at a local bar nicked her already fragile heart. She glanced down at her hand, still in his grasp. His thumb grazed her skin lightly, tracing imaginary circles along the back of it. The sensation sent electricity up her arm and raised the hair on the back of her neck. The act came so natural to him and she wondered if he was even aware that he was doing it.
She didn’t have to wonder for long. After he glanced at their joined hands he quickly pulled away and placed them in his pocket.
“It’s really good to see you”, he offered, his genuine tone unmistakable.
“It’s good to see you, too.” She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat. “Can we go somewhere private to talk?” she asked.
“Yeah… of course.” Jacob picked up his briefcase and placed his hand lightly on the small of her back as he retraced the steps back to his office. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter first. Once inside he turned on the lights, closed the door quietly behind him, and sat his briefcase beside the burgundy, tufted leather love seat in the corner.
He observed her from across the room. She sauntered away from him toward the oversized window.
“So, this is your office?” She asked.
“Yes, it is—my home away from home.”
Cassie kept her back turned, her attention fixated on the picturesque East River. “This is an amazing view! I’m sure it sparks a lot of creativity.”
She’s stalling. “Yeah… So, are you going to tell me why you’re here? I find it hard to believe you came all this way to discuss the view from my office.”
She hesitated for a few, long beats, compiling the courage and strength to reveal her reasons for her surprise appearance. “Landon’s relocating to Seattle. He asked me to move-in with him…”
Jacob felt as though an aneurysm had burst in his already weakened heart. He pinched the bridge of his nose and clenched his eyes shut. An uncontrollable explosion of anger erupted inside of him. Shockwaves of rage radiated from his core and leaked from his pores. As much as he wanted to remain calm, his surly tone escaped him impulsively. “And what—you jumped on a plane and flew all the way here for my blessing? Sorry, baby—can’t do that!”
“I left”, she responded softly.
Jacob quickly glanced up; his eye’s landing on the back of her head across the room. “What?” he asked in disbelief.
Cassie turned her body around to face him, her eyes meeting his for the first time since she stepped into his office. “We… we broke up”, she clarified.
Jacob felt the rushing current of anger recede and couldn’t help but feel guilty for allowing his temper to govern him. He felt the corners of his mouth relax. “Really?”
“Yeah…”
He couldn’t contain his grin as he slowly ambled toward her. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“No you’re not”, she stated as she smiled back at him.
Jacob slowly closed the distance between them. “Okay—guilty. I lied.” He came to a halt in front of her and reached for her hands. “You’re trembling.”
“I’m nervous”, she affirmed.
“What about?”
“Um, there’s something I need to tell you”, she explained.
“Okay—” he tilted his head toward the leather loveseat “—let’s sit down.” He led her to her seat and then sat down beside her. He sensed that whatever she was about to say to him was going to be difficult for her. He instinctively kissed the back of her hands, hoping to settle her nerves. “You have my undivided attention.”
Cassie took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I didn’t… I didn’t tell you the truth before”, she began.
Confusion settled across his face. “You are moving to Seattle with Landon?”
“No… not about that.”
“Then what?”
Cassie looked down at her lap. Her hands were resting in his, his thumbs grazing her skin again; the movement conveying comfort while simultaneously coaxing her to continue. “I lied when I told you that you weren’t my reality.”
“Cass—”
“No—please let me finish. I turned down your proposal at the reception last month because… because I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Jacob lowered his head. “Okay—now I’m really confused. Typically if a woman doesn’t want to hurt the man that proposed to her, she says yes.”
“Typically, yes—you’re exactly correct. Unfortunately, nothing
about our situation was or is typical. Personally speaking, Landon is a perfect gentleman, but he can be very cut-throat and conniving professionally. Jake, if he found out about us, he’d seek revenge and he’d do everything in his power to ruin your career.”
Jacob shook his already bowed head, unable to comprehend her need to protect him. “That doesn’t matter to me.”
“Jake—your career is your life!”
He released her hands and cradled her face, losing himself in her honest and longing hazel eyes. “No it isn’t… You are…” He wiped a fleeing tear from her cheek with his thumb and waited patiently for her to respond.
A swell of despair overwhelmed her and with nowhere to go, her tears became steadier; each droplet releasing the constraint circumventing her heart. “I don’t want to be responsible for jeopardizing everything you’ve worked so hard for.”
“I’m not scared of Landon Woods… I’m scared of losing you”, he whispered. Jacob leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers before meeting her gaze once again.”
A consistent stream of moisture descended down her face as she stared back into his eyes. She’d faced her biggest fear and he’d reassured her that they were unwarranted. “Promise me that whatever happens, that you won’t regret this very moment five years from now”, she said, her voice trembling with emotion.
“Only under one condition…”
The corners of her mouth ascended. “What’s that?”
Jacob lightly pressed his forehead against hers and lowered his voice for emphasis. “That you tell me you love me every day.”
Cassie cupped the sides of his face and brushed her thumbs over the stubble on his jaw. “I love you”, she confessed.
Jacob closed his eyes, savoring the sound of her voice. “Say it again”, he softly requested.
Chasing Destiny Page 18