Her Secret Valentine

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  Harold lifted a skeptical brow. “Then I don’t understand what she’s doing here for a month, lazing around and sleeping ’til noon, when she doesn’t have a job yet.”

  Thinking of the emotionally and physically exhausted woman upstairs, Cal’s patience waned. “She’s earned some time off.”

  Harold frowned and cast a glance at the doorway, as if he didn’t want them to be overheard. “She can take that once she’s secured a position worthy of her education and training.”

  “Thanks for the advice, Dad.” Ashley stood in the doorway. The expression on her face indicated she had caught the last of what Harold had said, but no more. And that was good, Cal thought, because he never wanted Ashley to know about the stipulations her parents had put on their blessing for Cal and Ashley’s marriage. It was enough that he knew that their concern had not been that he love her with all his heart and soul, but rather that he wouldn’t interfere with the stellar career achievements they expected of their only daughter.

  Still moving tiredly, Ashley came farther into the room.

  She was wearing a pink plaid flannel robe over her nightshirt, and slouchy pink sweat socks covered her feet. Her face was still bare of makeup, but she had brushed her hair and fastened it in a sleek chignon at the nape of her neck. She looked vulnerable and repressed—not at all like the carefree young bride who had been driving a Mustang convertible around country roads at midnight. Cal’s heart went out to her once again.

  Ashley had no trouble being her own woman when she was away from her parents. But when she was in their presence, she always seemed to shrink a little and fade into some stressed-out realm where Cal could not always reach her.

  “Ashley.” Harold stood, embracing her in a warm, paternal hug.

  Cal noted with some relief that Harold looked genuinely glad to see his daughter. Ashley looked happy to see her father, too. But she was also wary. Nervous. On edge. Which was how she always acted around both her parents, no matter what the situation.

  “I take it you haven’t accepted the job in Maui,” Harold said.

  “No,” Ashley said simply. Her glance cut over to Cal briefly before she turned her gaze back to her father. “I haven’t.”

  “Well, it’s probably a good idea to scout around first,” Harold said, his tone gentling amiably as they all took a seat once again. “So where else are you looking?” Harold pressed.

  Ashley folded her hands primly in her lap and sat with her back perfectly straight. “I haven’t gotten that far yet, Dad. It was enough to finish my fellowship.”

  Her father frowned, making absolutely no effort to hide his disapproval about that. “I gather you are planning to job-hunt from North Carolina, then.”

  Ashley hesitated and this time she didn’t look at Cal at all. “Yes.” He reached over across the sofa and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  “Makes sense.” Harold nodded thoughtfully after a moment. “Travel arrangements would certainly be easier from the mainland.” Harold chatted on for several minutes. He gave Ashley a list of potential contacts who might know of suitable positions. Then he rose. “Well, I’d better get going. Don’t want to miss my flight to Chicago. I’ve got a business dinner there this evening.”

  “Where’s Mom?” Ashley asked, also standing.

  “She’s still in Boston. She won’t be home for another seven to ten days. A new semester is a very busy time for the university. As chancellor, she can’t afford to be away.”

  “Right,” Ashley said.

  If Ashley was disappointed her father had so little time to spend with her, she was not showing it. “Well, travel safely, Dad.” Ashley rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. Harold hugged her again, even more warmly this time, shook Cal’s hand and was off.

  Ashley and Cal stood watching until Harold had driven away.

  As soon as he was gone, Ashley let out a long breath. Her slender body seemed to deflate. “I’m sorry about that,” she said, shaking her head. “He should have called first, let us know he was coming.”

  “He’s family, Ashley,” Cal corrected his wife gently. “Your father doesn’t have to call for permission first. He’s welcome here anytime. In fact, I wish he would come here more,” Cal said sincerely. Perhaps if Ashley and her parents spent more time together their relationship wouldn’t be so strained. He knew they loved each other. They just hadn’t quite figured out how to show it. A lot more interaction, on a more casual basis, might help that.

  Ashley looked full of resentment. “If my father’d been coming here on business, he would have called ahead out of courtesy.”

  “Maybe he thought you’d duck him if he gave you too much notice,” Cal teased gently and waited for her reaction. As he expected, it wasn’t long in coming.

  Ashley turned to Cal, moisture brimming in her china-blue eyes. “I love him.”

  “I know.” Cal wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in close to his side.

  “I love both my parents,” she insisted thickly.

  “I know that, too.” He comforted her with a kiss on the top of her head.

  Ashley leaned into his embrace, as if soaking in the comfort he was trying to give, then moved away. She threw up her hands in frustration as she paced back and forth. “They just drive me crazy.”

  Cal knew that, too. “You could just tell your father you don’t want to talk about the job search.”

  “That wouldn’t stop him from putting his two cents in,” she complained.

  Probably not, Cal thought and released a long, frustrated breath.

  “Anyway,” Ashley sighed. She started to run her hands through her hair, the way she always did when she was restless, then stopped when she encountered the sleekly arranged chignon and pins. Looking as if she no longer wanted to discuss this, she eyed him up and down, taking in his ancient sweats and running shoes. “Did you say something about going for a run with me?”

  He had, but that was before she was standing in front of him, looking so…wrung out and pale. He didn’t want to say so, but physically she didn’t look up for a long walk never mind a run in forty-degree weather. “Yeah, but—” Cal paused as the beeper at his waist began to buzz. He looked at the numbers running across the front, grimaced. He glanced at Ashley in apology, aware this was something he’d forgotten to mention. “I’m on call this weekend.”

  He turned the beeper off and headed for the phone.

  “That the hospital or a patient?” Ashley asked.

  “Hospital.” Which meant it wasn’t likely a problem that could be solved over the phone. He picked up the phone and dialed. Ashley was still waiting when he had finished talking. “I’ve got to go. A sixteen-year-old kid got hurt on an ATV. From the sound of it, I’m going to be a while.”

  He was already grabbing his keys and wallet. “I’ll call you later,” he said.

  Ashley flashed him a wan smile.

  Cal headed for the door then came back, hooked an arm about her waist and pulled her close. Aggravation boiling up inside him, he kissed her soundly. He wished the demands of their profession weren’t separating them again so soon. “Damn, I hate leaving you today,” he said.

  This time her smile was real. And sexy as all get out. “We’ve got time,” she murmured reassuringly. Both hands on his chest, she shoved him in the direction he had to move. “Now, go.”

  LOOKING BACK, Ashley didn’t know how she managed it. But she waited until Cal had driven off before she gave in to the nearly overwhelming nausea that had plagued her from the moment she had woken up. She rushed to the bathroom, where she promptly threw up.

  Telling herself it was just nerves—and the pressure her parents were exerting on her to find a job “worthy” of her education and training—Ashley forced herself to shower and dress. And then she threw up again.

  Wondering if she were coming down with something, she took her temperature, found it normal. Then she said to hell with it, and went back to bed.

  By the time an hour had pas
sed, and she had napped a little more, she felt remarkably better. At least as far as the steadiness of her stomach was concerned.

  As far as the rest of her went…well, the more she thought about it, the more questions she had. And there was only one way to get the answers she needed. So she got up, grabbed the keys to the Mustang, and went to see an old and dear friend.

  Chapter Five

  “Thanks for meeting me at the office on a Saturday afternoon,” Ashley told Carlotta Ramirez, a petite beauty with dark hair and eyes and olive skin. Carlotta had been Ashley’s “big sister” when she’d entered medical school—the fourth-year student assigned to help Ashley adjust. Now an obstetrician-gynecologist with a thriving private practice in Holly Springs, Carlotta was also married to another doctor, and the mother of three children: one born during her undergraduate years, the next while she was in medical school and the third during Carlotta’s Ob/Gyn residency.

  “No problem.” Carlotta unlocked the door to her office suite, flipped on the overhead lights to dispel the wintry gloom and led the way inside. “I heard you and Cal were back this morning and I’ve been dying to see you. So how was Hawaii?” Carlotta continued as she shut the door behind them. “Beautiful?”

  Ashley thought about the white-sand beaches, blue skies and even bluer ocean, the lush vegetation and a temperature that never varied much below seventy degrees or above eighty. “Very.”

  “I envy you the chance to do your fellowship there.” Carlotta shook her head in awe. “Talk about paradise.”

  It had been, Ashley thought. But it would have been so much better if Cal had been there with her. Maybe then she wouldn’t have felt such soul-deep loneliness the whole time she was there.

  “So how long have you been feeling lousy?” Carlotta asked as they walked through the deserted inner office.

  Ashley paused as Carlotta stopped at the linen closet and got out a soft pink cotton gown and a folded linen sheet, and handed both to Ashley.

  “I just started throwing up this morning,” Ashley said, telling herself that what she was worried about couldn’t possibly be true.

  “But—?” Carlotta prodded, experienced enough to know there was more.

  Ashley confided reluctantly, “I’ve been tired and over-emotional and I suddenly can’t fit into my pants.”

  “Any chance you might be pregnant?” Carlotta asked casually.

  Yes, as a matter of fact, there was a slight chance—even though Ashley kept telling herself it couldn’t possibly be true. “Cal and I were together in mid-November for a weekend in San Francisco,” Ashley admitted with a rueful smile.

  Carlotta grinned. “Sounds romantic,” she teased.

  Romance involved feelings, which Cal and Ashley had both been careful to keep tamped down. “It was certainly passionate, anyway,” Ashley joked right back, aware her palms had begun to sweat as she faced finding out the absolute truth of her situation. A truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with.

  Carlotta paused at another cabinet, and withdrew what she needed to do a screening test for iron-deficiency. “Did you two use protection?”

  Ashley blushed as Carlotta tore open an antiseptic packet. An Ob/Gyn, too, she knew these were the kind of questions she should be asking others, not answering herself. “I’ve been taking oral contraceptives.”

  “And that’s it?” Carlotta asked.

  Ashley cleared her throat, embarrassed to find herself in this position. “Right. Which was foolish, I know, since nothing is absolutely foolproof in and of itself.” How many times had Ashley counseled her own patients in the women’s clinic to use two methods of contraception simultaneously, and not just one, if they wanted to make absolutely sure they did not conceive?

  Looking back, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t followed her own oft-given advice. But she had missed Cal so desperately, and making hot, wild love with him had always been the one sure way the two of them could connect, even when every other method of communication failed abysmally. Not wanting anything between them, she’d told him to forget about condoms and had been a little reckless.

  “Well, there’s one way to find out.” Carlotta swabbed the end of Ashley’s third finger with the antiseptic wipe, then pricked her finger. “I can do an in-office urine pregnancy test for you right now and, if that’s positive, of course, we’re going to want to take some more blood to send to the lab for a complete prenatal work-up and screening.”

  “Sounds good.” Ashley watched as a dot of blood appeared on her finger and waited for Carlotta to fill a small plastic cylinder with a sample of her blood for the iron-deficiency screen.

  Finished, Carlotta swabbed Ashley’s finger again, then gave her a small plastic cup.

  By the time Ashley emerged from the bathroom with the cup full, her blood sample was already in the machine that would render the results. Carlotta completed the in-office lab tests while Ashley undressed in one of the exam rooms.

  “Well, you’re not anemic,” Carlotta announced, breezing in. Her cheerful grin confirmed what Ashley already knew in her heart. “And it looks as though the stork is going to be paying you two a visit next August.”

  Ashley drew a deep breath as her old friend started the physical exam by taking her blood pressure and listening to her heart and lungs.

  “You’re sure?”

  Carlotta nodded. “Even without the test, I would have known. I’m surprised you and Cal didn’t pick up on the signs. Your breasts appear swollen and you’ve got blue and pink lines beneath the skin.” Carlotta moved to the end of the exam table while Ashley slid her feet into the stirrups and slid down.

  Carlotta donned gloves and continued the physical exam. “Your uterus is enlarged and soft. Yep, you’re definitely pregnant, all right.”

  Finished, Carlotta gave Ashley a hand and helped her sit up.

  Ashley sat there, completely stunned. “Why don’t you get dressed and then we’ll talk in my office?” Carlotta said gently.

  A few minutes later, wearing the same comfortable pale-blue sweats she had worn on the plane back from Hawaii, Ashley entered Carlotta’s office. “Well,” she said, as she sank into a seat. “This certainly explains why I’ve gained over five pounds in two months and suddenly none of my pants with waistbands fit.”

  “I take it pregnancy wasn’t in the plans you and Cal have been making?” Carlotta said delicately.

  Ashley shook her head. “We haven’t even discussed children since the first couple of months we were married.” Then they had both thought about having a child, except it hadn’t worked out, and shortly after that, the troubles in their marriage had begun.

  Carlotta handed Ashley a month’s supply of prenatal vitamin samples. “You think he doesn’t want children?”

  Ashley hesitated. She was bewildered to discover she no longer knew the answer to that. “It’s just…”

  “I understand. It’s a life-altering event, no matter how it occurs. But for the record, I think Cal would be very happy.” Carlotta paused. “I mean, you are planning to tell him, aren’t you?”

  Happiness bubbled up inside Ashley, followed quickly by fear, and a disturbing feeling of déjà vu. “Yes, of course I’m going to tell Cal, as soon as I hit the three-month mark and pass the danger of miscarriage.”

  Carlotta blinked. “You’re sure you want to wait that long?”

  Ashley knew from her own patients that most women couldn’t wait to tell their husbands.

  “Yes.” For very good reason.

  Carlotta did some quick calculations, and grinned as she jumped to the logical conclusion. “Valentine’s Day, huh?” Carlotta teased.

  Ashley smiled. Now—heaven willing—she knew exactly what she was going to give her husband for Valentine’s Day. And it beat the heck out of any car, even a red ’64 Mustang convertible. “Promise me.” Ashley looked Carlotta in the eye and did her best to quell her nervousness. “Not a word to anyone, even your husband, until I give the okay.”

  Carlotta c
rossed her heart. “You have my word. Now, is there anything else you want to discuss?”

  Ashley sobered. “As a matter of fact,” she related unhappily as she prepared to fill her friend in on the most private parts of her medical history, “there is.”

  “YOU HAVEN’T HEARD a word I’ve said, have you?” Cal said in frustration several hours later.

  Ashley flushed guiltily and looked across the kitchen table at him. They’d been having dinner for a good twenty minutes now, and although he had been talking nonstop about the case he’d seen earlier and the difficulties the surgery presented, she had heard only a smidgen of it. Which had been most unlike her. Usually, she loved hearing about Cal’s cases, and vice versa. Medicine was the one thing they could always talk about.

  “What’s going on with you?” Cal asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

  I’m having a baby—our baby—and my mind and emotions are in awhirl. Ashley swallowed, embarrassed. “What do you mean?”

  “One minute you’re smiling like you just won the lottery,” Cal observed.

  That’s because I feel happier than I’ve ever felt in my life.

  “And the next you’re frowning like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

  That’s because I’m scared to death that what happened before is going to happen again. And none of this is going to work out the way I want and hope.

  “What did you do today, anyway?” Cal continued as he stood and began to clear the table.

  Noting how the gray in the cashmere sweater he was wearing brought out the pewter shade of his eyes, Ashley stood and began to clean up, too. She wished she could think about something besides kissing him whenever they were this close. Especially today…