“I went to see Carlotta,” Ashley finally answered.
Cal smiled and held her eyes for a long, breath-stealing moment. “I’m glad you two were able to get caught up.”
“Me, too,” Ashley said. Even if I can’t tell you everything about that meeting just yet.
Cal slid the dishes into the dishwasher with the ease of a man who’d done dishes many times growing up. “Then what did you do?”
Ashley edged away from the enticing sea-and-sun fragrance of his cologne. “I drove to the mall to find some clothes that fit and a few how-to books on decorating.” And while I was at it, I stopped and looked at baby things. Lots and lots of baby things.
Cal wiped his hands on a dish towel, then set it aside. He stood facing her, his back to the counter, hands braced on either side of him. “Is that what’s worrying you?” he asked as Ashley backed away from him self-consciously, feeling guilty as all get out once again.
What’s worrying me is the fear that I will let you and our baby down—again—and you’ll feel the kind of hurt no parent should ever have to feel.
“You worried about needing a bigger size in clothing?” Cal continued sympathetically, oblivious to the real reason behind Ashley’s distress. He caught her hand and reeled her in to his side. “Because I have to tell you,” he confided appreciatively as he wrapped an arm around her waist, “extra five pounds or no, I’ve never seen you looking more beautiful.”
As Ashley looked into his eyes, she had never felt more beautiful than she did at that very moment. Or more secure in his love. And maybe it was selfish of her, but she wanted it to stay that way. She wanted to get through this next month, and one of the riskiest periods of her pregnancy, and then on Valentine’s Day tell him he was going to be a daddy. And by the time she told him the happy news, she wanted all the problems in their relationship worked out.
“You were kind of pale when I left this morning, but tonight your face is just glowing,” Cal continued.
That’s because I am about to give you the most wonderful gift a woman can give the man she loves. Ashley ducked her head and let it rest against the warm solidness of his broad shoulder. “Well, thank you,” she said, blushing.
He cupped a hand beneath her chin and lifted her face up to his. “So maybe you should stay this weight,” he told her sincerely.
Ashley’s lips curved as she imagined how happy Cal was going to be if everything went as she hoped. “I don’t think that’s going to be possible,” she said dryly.
“And feel free to buy yourself a whole new wardrobe,” Cal suggested, as compassionate and generous to her as ever.
She inclined her head ruefully and deliberately held his gaze. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to spoil me,” she teased.
He wrapped both arms about her waist and pulled her in until all of her was pressed against all of him. “You deserve spoiling,” he muttered huskily
Ashley had known Cal wanted to make a move on her—she had seen it in his eyes all evening. She just hadn’t thought, given the agreement they had made to abstain from making love until their marriage was on solid footing, that he would. But now that he was kissing her again, his lips tenderly coaxing and recklessly taking, she realized something else. She needed this connection with him, needed the fierce sensuality of his mouth moving over hers, and, above all else, she needed to be loved by him.
She wreathed her arms around his neck, kissed him back every bit as passionately as he was kissing her and let all the joy she felt over their baby growing inside her wash over her. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t ready to tell him yet. The baby forged a powerful connection between them that would last their entire lives and she wanted that just as fiercely as she wanted to have his child.
CAL HAD NEVER BEEN ABLE to read Ashley’s heart as well as he wanted to, but he had always known intuitively when she needed him to take her in his arms. And, for whatever reason, she required his physical closeness tonight. He’d seen it in the dreamy, distracted way she had looked at him all through dinner, and he’d felt it in her kiss and in the way her body cuddled against his. Not that he minded holding her. Kissing her. Touching her. Even if their hot embrace was picking up his heart rate and sending blood rushing to his lower half. But when she moaned, soft and low, in the back of her throat, and he felt her nipples budding tightly as they brushed against his chest, he knew he had to stop—now—or break the promise he had made to her. So, reluctantly, he let their steamy kiss come to a halt and drew away from her.
He wasn’t all that surprised to see disappointment mingled with pleasure and relief on her face as she trembled and looked up at him. She had to know, good intentions or not, that with them both living under the same roof again it was only a matter of time before their passion ignited.
“So,” he said in a low, gravelly voice, determined to be more noble than selfish, at least for this evening, “you want to show me your new clothes?” Maybe that would distract him from the sensual shape of her damp lower lip.
Ashley stepped back a pace. Her hand shook as she shoved her hand through the mussed strands of her dark hair. “I just bought two pairs of slacks.” Oddly enough, she looked as if she were keeping something from him. What, he couldn’t imagine.
“One gray and one black,” Ashley continued, appearing a little embarrassed.
Disappointment swept through him. He had been hoping for a sexy fashion show. The kind she used to give him when they were dating. He quirked a brow, wondering why she had been so frugal when she didn’t have to be. She loved clothes! Loved shopping for them, too. “That’s all?”
A flash of guilt appeared in her eyes and just as quickly disappeared. “I know my larger waist is only temporary,” she stated reluctantly, embarrassed. “I plan to get back into my old clothes. It’s just going to take time.” She turned her eyes from his once again. “And some dedicated working-out on my part. Which I plan to do.”
Cal knew Ashley felt better and had more stamina when she was physically fit—they both did. Maybe he could help her here. Help them both. He walked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of chilled spring water for each of them. “As long as we’re talking about how to decorate the rest of the house, what do you think about putting in a home gym?” he asked her casually.
Ashley appeared surprised and intrigued. “Where?”
“Upstairs.” Cal took her by the hand and led her up the back staircase to the second floor. He enjoyed the soft, delicate feel of her fingers clasped in his. “I was thinking maybe we could use the bedroom right next to ours,” he told her, unwilling to admit how many lonely nights he had spent dreaming about the things they could do with this place, if only she would join him.
He steered Ashley to the room he was talking about and waited hopefully for her reaction.
ASHLEY KNEW CAL WANTED her to support his idea wholeheartedly, but she couldn’t quite do that. She knew this room next to the master bedroom suite should definitely be the nursery. Beginning to see just how hard it was going to be to keep this news from Cal until another four weeks had passed and she was sure everything was going to be all right, Ashley said instead, “What about the other empty bedroom?”
Cal shrugged. She could see he was a little hurt by her immediate dismissal of his idea. “It’s smaller, and it doesn’t have as many windows. So the light wouldn’t be as good as it is in here.”
“Maybe we don’t want as much as light.” Ashley linked arms with Cal and guided him down the hall to show him the other room.
Cal studied her. “You really think this room would be better?”
“Well. What are you planning to put in here?” Ashley looked at the ten-foot-by-twelve-foot room.
“An exercise bike. Treadmill. Maybe a stair machine or an elliptical trainer. What would you like?”
Ashley thought about the exercises she recommended for her pregnant patients. “A place for a yoga mat. Maybe a TV with a DVD player built into it mounted on the wall. S
o I can watch the tapes while I work out.”
“Sounds good to me,” Cal said as he turned to survey the room one more time. “So when do you want to get on this?”
Ashley smiled, glad they had something to occupy themselves with the rest of the weekend. “Right away.”
“I HAVE TO GO BACK to the hospital,” Cal said as soon as he got off the phone Sunday evening.
“Another emergency surgery?” Ashley asked.
Cal nodded as he clipped his beeper back on his belt.
He looked disappointed their evening together was going to be cut short. Ashley knew exactly how he felt. The weekend had gone too fast. But this was the life of a practicing physician. They both knew that, although they were usually a lot better at taking it in stride.
Determined to be the kind of supportive spouse he needed, Ashley touched his arm and smiled at him gratefully. “We had a great day.” They’d slept late, gone to 11:00 a.m. services and had lunch with Cal’s family, then spent the afternoon finding everything they needed for their home gym. Ashley still had to purchase her pregnancy workout tapes, but she’d have to do that when Cal wasn’t with her.
“I just wish I had Monday off so I could spend it with you,” he murmured.
Instead, he was scheduled to work from seven in the morning until dinner time. Which left Ashley wondering what she was going to do. She knew she should be looking for a job, but right now all she wanted to do was stay here and “play house” with Cal. And how weird was that? She couldn’t be nesting, could she?
“Promise me you’ll miss me desperately,” Cal said, pulling Ashley closer for a long, slow kiss.
Ashley sighed and sank into his luxuriant embrace. “I already do,” she murmured back playfully. And to prove it, she kissed him again, even more thoroughly.
Cal smiled and ruffled her hair. “Don’t wait up,” was the last thing he said as he went out the door.
Figuring the best thing she could do for her pregnancy was get as much sleep as possible in this first trimester, Ashley took one of the prenatal vitamins she had spirited away in her purse, drank a glass of milk, and went on up to bed. She had no trouble falling asleep and slept for six hours straight, not waking until she heard Cal’s car in the drive shortly after 3:00 a.m. He came up the back stairs and headed straight for the master bedroom.
Ashley heard him go into the master bathroom, come out again and fall into bed.
From the absence of sound, Ashley figured he’d gone straight to sleep. She was not as lucky. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fall back into dreamland. Eventually, her stomach began to growl. She knew if she didn’t put something in it soon, her nausea would likely come back.
Ashley pulled on her robe and tiptoed down to the kitchen, where she studied her options for satisfying her pregnant cravings.
Chapter Six
Cal swore he was so tired when his head hit the pillow he wanted nothing more than to sleep until his alarm went off at six-thirty. And perhaps he would have if the aroma of something spicy and delicious hadn’t wafted up to tease his senses. He rolled over and glanced at the clock. Four in the morning! What the heck could Ashley be doing up at this hour? And what was that he smelled cooking? Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t breakfast food.
Curiosity overrode fatigue.
He strode downstairs, wearing just his boxers, and found Ashley standing at the kitchen stove. Glossy dark-brown tendrils were escaping her ponytail to frame her delicate heart-shaped face. She was clad in a pair of loose-fitting light-blue cotton pajamas that brought out the blue of her eyes and were the perfect foil for the soft golden glow of her skin and the pinkness of her cheeks. Her delicate bare feet peeked beneath the hem of her pajama pants, and there was something so sexy about those polished red toenails, it was all he could do to stay where he was. Oblivious to his presence, she was pouring a dark-red spice into the palm of her hand. Satisfied with the amount, she added it to the pot of browning beef and onions. As it hit the sizzling meat and the aroma escaped into the room, his eyes widened in surprise. “Are you making chili?”
Ashley glanced up, for a moment looking like a kid who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Then she shrugged as if it were the most natural occurrence in the world. “Had a hankering for it,” she said, in her best Southern drawl. She went back to the stove, adding salt and fresh-ground pepper to the sizzling meat.
Cal leaned against the counter, watching as she opened a can of crushed tomatoes and poured them into the pan. The kitchen smelled even more delicious. He grinned. “You’re not the only one.” Now he wanted some, too. He reached over and brushed a lock of hair away from her cheek. “How long until it will be ready?”
She trembled at his touch—evidence that she was no less affected by his presence than he was by hers. Flushing self-consciously, she slipped by him, to the open pantry shelves and returned with a can of ranch-style pinto beans. “Ten, fifteen minutes.” She added those, too, and gave it another stir while he appreciated the intimacy of being with her like this. He realized there had been far too few moments such as this since the two of them had been married. More often, they had been hopping into bed and back out again as one of them rushed off to the hospital. Their union had been more like a hot, passionate affair than a marriage.
Which was why it was so awkward now…why, suddenly, as she picked up the tall glass of milk next to the stove and drank deeply from it, that she was having trouble meeting his eyes. “Sorry if I woke you,” she said quietly, picking up the notepad on the table. Tearing off the top sheet, which had some sort of list on it, she carried it over to the far counter and slipped it into her shoulder bag. “I was trying to be quiet.”
And she had been. He was the one who couldn’t stay away from her. But that was hardly a surprise. After all, he’d never been able to stay away from her.
“You’re up awfully early,” he observed, and watched her cheeks grow ever pinker as an almost guilty look came into her eyes. Wondering what was going on with her, Cal padded closer.
“I went to bed really early.” She aimed a trigger finger at his exposed belly-button, before turning her gaze slowly back to his face. “And speaking of bed, shouldn’t you still be in yours?”
Cal would be—if she were there with him. As it was, he couldn’t think of anywhere he would rather be.
Ashley had obviously turned up the thermostat when she had come downstairs, and the kitchen was warm enough not to require additional clothing. Though from the distracted way Ashley kept looking at his bare chest, Cal knew she would have preferred he go and get a robe to cover up. “I’ll get back there eventually,” he told her, enjoying the ardent look in her eyes as much as the free-flowing electricity between them.
She frowned and looked at him as if she wished it would be sooner rather than later. She went back to stir the pan of fragrant, bubbling chili. She opened the cupboard and leaned across the counter to reach the shelf containing the soup bowls. “Want some?”
“Absolutely.” Cal couldn’t help noticing the way the neckline of her pajama top fell open as she moved. Instead of a glimpse of her breasts, however, he got a look at a stretchy white cotton undershirt that came up halfway to her collarbone.
Not that this wasn’t sexy, too—especially when he thought about taking both garments off her.
Reminding himself of his promise not to make love to her again—at least not yet—Cal went to get the crackers. Coming back to the table he was surprised to see her take something out of the oven. French fries?
Ashley caught his glance and blushed again. “I had a hankering for them, too,” she said.
Obviously, Cal thought. Were these hankerings the reason Ashley was suddenly having trouble with her weight? Not that he minded her new voluptuousness.
He thought she looked amazing. Especially now that she looked as if she were catching up on her rest. “Want some ketchup?” he asked as he opened the fridge.
Ashley shook her head. “Extr
a-sharp cheddar?”
Cal grabbed it out of the cheese drawer and the milk off the shelf, then shut the door with the back of his arm, and carried both to the table.
He nodded at the paper she had slipped into her purse. “What are you working on?”
“Your Valentine’s Day present. And don’t even think about peeking,” she scolded as she went to retrieve it and tucked it into the pants pockets on her pajamas. “Because you’re not finding out what it is until next month.”
Cal grinned as they sat down at the breakfast table in front of the bay window. Her working on a present for him had to be a good sign, didn’t it? “Since when do you eat fries and chili first thing in the morning?” he asked her curiously.
She shrugged as she grated some cheddar over top of her chili and then dipped another crispy golden fry into the steaming bowl. Abruptly, he had the feeling in his gut that she was once again withholding every bit as much as she was telling him. Not that this was a surprise. It had been a pattern that had developed in the early days of their marriage.
“Since right now,” Ashley said, looking as if she were in heaven as the concoction melted on her tongue. She washed it down with another swallow of icy-cold milk. Suddenly, the teasing look was back in her blue eyes, the flirtatious note in her soft voice. “I take it from the astonished look you’re giving me that you’ve never eaten them together?”
She seemed happy again. Really happy. Maybe happier than he had ever seen her.
“No,” Cal said, struggling to keep his mind on the conversation. “And I wasn’t aware you had, either.” Ashley was usually a lean grilled chicken or fish and healthy fruit and vegetables kind of woman. The carbs she ate were healthy and whole grain. Whereas he…well, Cal always had appreciated potatoes—any kind—and spicy calorie-laden foods like chili. Was her making chili for him now an attempt to find her way back into his heart? To better mesh their lives? Whatever the case, he appreciated her going to all the trouble.
Her Secret Valentine Page 6